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I think the problem was with how they introduced her. I don't get what the writers were trying to do there. How would they expect people to like her after that? That was a HORRIBLE first impression.
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Oh yes. Agreed. It frustrates me when writes confuse strong with rude.
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Sam taste in women suck majorly, like really Sam you want to throw Dean to the wolves for this? if she was a knock out then maybe I could sorta understand the hormones kicking in and wanting to pursue a life with her but for reasons unknown Sam goes for bossy fake unattractive women  its like a repeat of the whole Ruby disaster a woman dangles a few petty normal life stuff and Sam is all in, wake up man, you are dreaming!!!!
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I think it was the life (a life Sam has never shown an interest in really. His Heaven was him alone with a dog. No woman!) Sam wants to get out of hunting and I can understand that. I think he didn't look for Dean because he really had no leads, no help he could trust and more sense than to make a deal (and maybe other stuff yet un-revealled). Finally. I don't get him going for all these bossy women, though, when Sam is an independent minded kinda guy. Doesn't gel with me which is why I can't ship him with them.