I believe too that Brian would have given Lindsay a child even if she had asked him when he was sober. Maybe he would have made her insist more, but I think he would have done it anyway, in the end.
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Sure, that's difficult. But would you then go the person your partner dislikes so much and ask him to become the father of your child? Isn't that kind of a betrayl? It's one thing to be in a situation like having a partner that doesn't like your best friend; but it's completely different to ignore that and going on with what you want.
It's selfish!
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I said too that it was a wrong choice towards Melanie. Probably it even is selfish, as you say, but if I put myself in her shoes, I'd like to have a dear friend as the father of my child too, instead of a complete stranger. So I don't feel like condamning her for that. She made a similar choice later, choosing a man she knew instead of a stranger. And even more, she let Michael kept his rights, which was totally selfish towards Lindsay, who ended up having no rights. But Lindsay let it go in that situation, understanding, unlike Mel with Lindsay and Brian's child.
I think the real mistake was another one: not putting the agreement down on paper before the baby was born. Melanie is a lawyer, she should know better. I think she underestimated Brian, I guess she never thought Brian would want to have a role as a father, but it was a mistake not to have papers writter before Gus was born. And a reiterated mistake to wait a while after Gus was born.