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Right from the start she knew she couldn't use him, the way she could use other people.
Like when she wanted him to kill the marshall, and when she tried to double-cross him over the key to the case after he'd dug up the body for her. Jack behaved like any normal person would behave under those circumstances - he was angry and he let her know in no uncertain terms. She knew that if she wanted to have any sort of relationship with Jack, he would demand a certain level of decency and respect. It's not abusive to do that. It's more abusive to want Kate to carry on as she was, and not challenge her to make the most of herself and her potential.
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