I demand everyone stop what they are doing at once. This is an emergency situation. Information gathering must take place, and it must take place now.

1 - When did this happen?
2 - Why wasn't I informed that this was going to happen?
3 - Why wasn't I invited to be the third member of the photoshoot?
4 - How the hell did that random person take my place in my own fantasy?
5 - Will this be happening again, so that I may be informed in advanced and can thusly take the place of the third person in the photoshoot?
6 - Does anyone have the name of a very good Cardiologist?