Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

Lisa: Milhouse, she got you too!
Milhouse: Yeah but its ok im standing on Ralph...
Ralph: We're a totum pole HIHOWAREYA HIHOWAREYA

Milhouse: There's plenty of Milhouse to go around.

Milhouse: It's called lice, and it's nothing to be ashamed of!

Milhouse: But I'm All Milhouse! Plus, my mom says I'm the handsomest guy in school!

Milhouse: You promised fudgicles. So, where are the fudgicles?

Bart: What's it like riding a girl's bike?
Milhouse: It's disturbingly comfortable.

Milhouse: Bart, my mom won't let me be your friend anymore. That's why you couldn't come to the party.
Bart: What's she got against me?
Milhouse: She says you're a bad influence.
Bart: Bad influence! How many times have I told you? Never listen to your mother!
Milhouse: But Bart, she threatened to cut off my allowance!
Bart: Whatever she's paying you, I'll double it.
Milhouse: I'm really sorry Bart...

Milhouse: We have to spread this stuff around - let's put it on the internet.
Bart: No! We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter.