The mall was a buzz with people walking and wafting about in pre Christmas jitters. Christmas eve was always the craziest. It hadn’t been Dan’s idea to shop on Christmas eve, lately nothing had been very much of Dan’s ideas. Amanda had complained about them not being able to see one another or talk over the long twenty-four hour period so they’d ended up at the mall. The mall where Dan was being required to pick out her Christmas present for her, a task he didn’t’ care all to much to do. There was only one girl’s scent that he remembered even in his dreams. The bittersweet smell of Lilly’s and Patchouli on an average day, a scent she’d made all by herself. Then on special occations there was that one perfume that showed all of her beauty in one single squirt.
With his hand laced with Amanda’s he let her browse around. Amanda picked up a pink and crystal bottle, holding it in her petite milky hand, as Dan lay staring at the vast array of perfumes on the wall in front of him. He couldn’t have cared less to be in the store with her and she could see that fact written all over his face but she chose to pay it not mind.
“What about this one?”
She held her freshly sprayed wrist up to his face and watched for his reaction. His face contorted into a look of disgust at the fowl stench. It was like moth balls and carrot cake, truly something he didn’t have an appetite to stomach.
“That is terrible! Oh…god, that’s gross!”
He laughed as she giggled, her dark tresses falling a little in her face as she moved them back behind her ear.
“You actually put that on yourself? Okay look’s like you’re finishing this shopping trip alone, Amanda”
Only half joking with her he wished she would let him off the hook. Christmas time had once been special to him. How hard he’d worked the past Christmas to get a tree into the Palace Hotel, how they’d spent well into Christmas morning on the floor of the gallery proving to one another just how much they loved each other. That’s where his mind was stuck, stuck on the one he let go out of his own stupidity. He still couldn’t figure out hoe he looked himself in the face.
“Am not, you promised to buy me a perfume for Christmas and here we are. You can’t pull out now, Dan. Come on you should be used to it, I’m sure you and Serena would have done your fair share of shopping trips”
Amanda cringed as she said it, she hated bring Serena up because Dan always got this far away look in his eyes. Like he was escaping to the past year. She wanted to be the one he saw when he shut his eyes. Part of her thought she just needed to be patient.
“Yeah, maybe… I guess”
He turned his head back to the perfume bottles before him, recognising a few from Jenny’s collection, but not Serena’s. She had so many he never knew which was which. Except that one. She had told him that Christmas morning that she reserved it for special occasions. She had also worn it on the night of the Kiss on the Lips party, and the night of their first real date, of course.
“Some of them are sooo sweet it’s disgusting”
She interrupted him from his day dream, from his thoughts of Serena and the past Christmas. He was almost sure nothing was going to top last Christmas, surly not this one, without Serena nothing seemed as happy and playful as it once had.
“This is hilarious I’ve never really bought French perfume before. I’ve been given a few bottles from my mum but never had to choose anything. It’s actually really hard. That Chanel’s pretty nice though, I’ll probably just get that one.”
He nodded to agree with her halfly, the Chanel reminded him of Blair. Blair was a scent that either gave him nightmares or made him roll his eyes in disgust. She was far from his favorite person. She was one of the many reminders of just how different his and Serena’s worlds really were.
“OH my gosh, yes. I love it! Dan? What do you think? Smell this one!”
She flapped the piece of card and he leant over and inhaled the scent, lightly closing his eyes. An instant memory took over his mind, a memory that he wanted so badly to hold onto.
His head remained there for a while, his nose buried in the nape of her neck, as he kissed her collarbone
lightly and her blonde locks tickled his bare skin. Irregular breaths and small whimpers came from her open mouth, as he worked to please her, their hips moving in time, her arms wrapped so tightly around his back; their bodies as one.
“Dan, what’s wrong? You hate it? Oh my God you hate it!”
Amanda’s voice broke Dan out of his day dream. It had been so real, or rather he’d wanted it to be real. More then anything else Dan wanted to be there touching her and holding her, listening to her little laugh and just being around her. Not talking with her was killing him.
“No, no I don’t hate it, I don’t.”
Doing his best to cover it up he shook his head
“Yes! You do!”
“What the hell, Amanda? I don’t hate it, don’t be stupid!” He gulped as he realised his voice had risen until he was almost yelling at her. He placed his hand on her arm apologetically.
“I’m sorry. Look, I don’t hate it… I just… I think… I think I prefer the Chanel”
“Okay” She nodded lightly, and let out a small fake smile, knowing he was not telling the whole truth. She was willing to let him calm down before asking about it. Although she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.
“Come on let’s go. I’ve had enough perfume testing for the day I’m getting a headache from all the smells mixed together.” She grabbed his arm and led him away, wishing she was the one he thought of when he smelled the delicious scent.