With Emily and Richard they had a on-going dynamic to them where they both led separate lives that operated symbiotically. He was busy at work. She was busy planning social and charity functions many of which helped had overt or covert business agendas that helped further Richard's career.
One thing that annoyed me earlier in the series is when Lorelai seemed to look down on her as a "mere" housewife which was VERY far from the truth. Especially given the number of organizations Emily continues to be involved with in both an organizational and executive capacity.
When Richard "retired" it broke up their routine. They were both used to a routine where they were both busy all the time and their time together was structured. Emily welcomed the time together but disapproved of some of Richard's habits as he struggled to fill idle time. Richard chafed at being scrutinized and not having a purpose to motivate him.
Richard went back into business and wanted things to return to the way they were. Emily wanted more time with her husband so they could enjoy their retirement together.
Their routine was broken up and in order to stay together they need to develop a new understanding and a new relationship. So far their answer is to live separate lives. Which isn't all bad if like me you want Paris and Richard to get together. Problem is we need to find someone for Emily. Jess perhaps?
