break the window

As there are no words for Treat's sudden passing, I was able to put together a little fanfic as a tribute to the character of Andy Brown. I'm not sure some of it makes sense, but with all this emotion surrounding Treat's passing, I couldn't just sit here and do nothing. I hope you like it

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Father's Day: A Tribute to Andy Brown


Amy and Ephram were finally in bed for the evening...or morning. It was now almost three a.m. when they pulled the covers over their tired bodies.

“What do you think Nina and your dad will say?”
“It’s about time is what he’ll probably say.”
“Should we call him now?”
“No, he’s on a flight from Vermont. He did some speaking engagement there to a lot of new graduates going into neurosurgery. Dad took so much time on his speech you think he was just graduating himself.”
“What time is he expected back?”
“Morning, I think. He took an earlier flight to get out of there sooner. He wanted to get home before the weather got really bad in Colorado.”
“Just a few more hours and your dad will know he’s going to be a grandfather.”
“Can’t wait.” Ephram kissed Amy’s forehead and turned the light off.

What seemed like minutes later, Ephram’s phone was ringing and vibrating at the same time. Usually he ignores the calls, lets them go to voicemail, but it was only five in the morning and Ephram already had six missed calls from Nina.

“Hello?” Ephram spoke with a groggy voice.
“Ephram, it’s Nina, something’s happened to your father.”
“What you do you mean? He’s in Vermont, I just talked to him…well yesterday and he was getting ready to get on a flight to come home.”
“I just got a call from some medical center in Vermont. Ephram’s there’s been an accident with the plane, it took off and somewhere in the middle of the flight there was a crash landing.” Nina collected her thoughts and swallowed her tears. “There were no survivors.”
“Wait, no, that can’t be right. Dad took an earlier flight to get home. His flight is only six hours, he should be landing in two hours.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Dad said he was getting on B6 433 and it would fly out of Vermont…hang on, let me get the information.”

Ephram headed downstairs to the dining room where he wrote down Andy’s flight information.

“Yeah, leaving Vermont at 9:37pm and he will arrive in Denver at 3:30am…Nina, he’s probably at the airport, right now, in the middle of all this mess trying to calm everyone down and be the mediator he loves to be.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I just panicked and let my emotions get ahead of me.”
“Do you want me to call the airline?”
“Would you?”
“Yeah, give me a few minutes and I will have someone verify that dad wasn’t on that flight.”
“Thank you. I know it’s in the middle of the night…”
“We’ll make our way over there and put a pot of coffee on, it’s going to be a long night.”
“Yes, and I have some herbal tea for Amy, since, you know.”
“Wait…know what?”
“I knew before she did. Congratulations…dad.”
Ephram smiled. “Thanks, Nina, I can’t wait to tell the Great Andy Brown he’s going be a grandfather.”
“And right at Father’s Day, too. Couldn’t be more perfect. I’ll see you when you get here.”

~*~

“Yes, Andrew Edward Brown, he was on flight B6 433 and I need to verify he boarded the flight.”

Ephram leaned up against the kitchen counter, feeling like his head was going to explode for the amount of people he’s had to say the exact same question to and not gotten any answers.

“Yes, he was scheduled to be on flight B6 482 but he rescheduled his flight to get home sooner. No, he told me he was getting an earlier flight. Yes, Andrew Edward Brown from Everwood Colorado.”

Amy kept turning the tea cup around in her hands, not feeling the warmth anymore. She was still sipping out of it thought, never could resist Earl Grey, even if it was decaf.”

“I thought Ephram would’ve found something by now. Have you been able to get ahold of Delia?”
“No, not yet. She’s in California at some retreat for the company she works for. It was her first real vacation in years. I was going to make this special gift box all about being an aunt and I was so mad that I couldn’t find the top to the box I found at the flea market and now it just seems stupid that I got so angry over it.” Amy didn’t hide her sadness from Nina when the tears started to fall. “Everything before a few hours ago just seems so petty and I feel silly obsessing about it.”
“I was jealous of Andy for being invited to go to Vermont, even if it’s in the Summer because they still have all of their hot chocolates. Nothing beats Vermont hot chocolate, even in the summer.”
“Not sure I’d drink hot chocolate again.”
“When he comes home, we’ll do just that.”
“Yes, when he comes home.” Amy and Nina nodded their heads to each other.

~*~

“Okay, so what flight number did B6 433 change to.”
“B6 433 changed to, well, that’s the reason I couldn’t find him.” The lady had a few seconds of silence. “Your dad switched to United Airlines for a much earlier flight and that number is UA 701.”
“And you are absolutely sure he boarded that flight.”
“Yep, he ticket was checked at exactly 9:49pm.”
“Thank you so much.” Ephram ended the call and exhaled the nervous breaths he was holding.

He walked over to Nina and Amy.

“Dad switched airlines to United and his number is UA 701.” Ephram looked at both his wife and Nina, they were just staring at the television. “Let’s go and meet dad at the airport.”
Amy got up from her seat, carefully set her teacup on the table and hugged Ephram from the side. She didn’t say anything and nodded towards the television at the breaking news.

It has been confirmed that United Airlines Flight number UA 7-0-1 has crashed landed in a vacant field in Oklahoma. Early reports state that the pilots were instructing everyone that there would be an emergency landing. Early causes are related to weather as there was a snow storm moving north but was expected to dissipate before the planes took off. The investigation is still early as reports are still coming in. We can confirm that Flight UA 7-0-01 of United Airlines has made a crash landing in Oklahoma on this snowy night. There are no reports of survivors.

“No, no, no…” Ephram pushed the hair out of his face. “No, my dad didn’t get on that flight. He couldn’t have. He would never board a flight that was going to in a snow storm.”
“Ephram, you just confi--.”
“They’re wrong. My dad isn’t dead, he’s alive. He probably knows someone at the Vermont University Hospital that can confirm my dad is probably on a bus now trying to get back home. I’m sure he’s probably telling the drivers every better route to take to get to Everwood.”
Amy’s lips were trembling as she fought for her words not to come out of her mouth. “Ephram…”
“What? You’re going to tell me that my dad is dead, like my mom’s dead. Both my parents are now dead and the moment I get to finally tell him that he’s going to be a grandfather….I can’t…because of some snow storm.”
“It’s going to be okay--.” Amy tried to walk towards Ephram but found herself unable to move.
“How do you know this? Have you ever lost a parent. I mean I’m two for two now in losing parents in inclement weather. I mean, can you relate when you want to call your mom and tell her that you met this amazing girl in a town you thought you’d never belong in. Yeah, I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to call him my mom and almost dialed the number to tell her about you, the most beautiful girl in the world and I couldn’t. Some guy had to get drunk and kill her! Yeah, he killed my mom! And now, I get to tell someone that I’m going to be a dad and my dad is going to be a grandfather and I can’t do that either because he’s dead. You know who I can blame?! NO ONE! No one ever blames the damn weather. It’s a joke whenever the weather people are wrong. You can ruin someone’s day and still have a job, you can kill a man, a man who’s saved millions of lives and still have a job.”
Nina held onto Amy’s arm when Ephram walked off. “Let him go.”
“Nina’s he’s hurting---”
“And you know Ephram better than anyone else does…you know he needs time.”
“But he’s right.”
“About what?”
“I don’t know what it’s like to lose a parent. A few hours ago I had set an alarm on my phone to call my parents and tell them they’re going to have a grandbaby…and I can still do that. He can’t, What am I going to do?”
Nina pulled Amy into a hug. “I don’t know honey, I don’t know.”

~*~

Ephram found himself pacing slowly around the backyard. He wanted to kick the porch swing that Andy built…. because Andy wouldn’t ever sit it in again. Ephram was jealous of Andy when Andy got to see Julia at the carnivals and everywhere around Everwood. Who cares if the town thought Ephram was crazy for talking to Andy. Ephram would give anything to talk to his father…even it was for just a minute.

Ephram stopped in his tracks. “Mom.” He looked around, realizing there was no one there. “Mom, I need your help. I know I haven’t talked to you much recently and I know you probably knew long before we did that Amy was pregnant and I don’t even know what I’m rambling on about, but I need your help. Please, mom, bring him back. Bring my dad back, bring him back so he can be my dad and he can be Delia’s dad because I never gave him credit, but he’s the best, he’s the one who knew how to be there when I didn’t feel like I wanted him there. He understood me in ways I wasn’t able to understand myself. Please, mom, just bring him back. He helped me in so many ways from losing you, he helped me heal. I don’t know if I could lose another parent.”

“Ephram.”

Ephram turned around, almost having whiplash, and saw it was Bright standing before him.

“Amy called.”
“Great, misery loves company, yay me.”
“I want to be here for you, anything you need.”
“Great, I’ll call you if I want to rehash the way you were a dick to me when I first moved to Everwood and the only way Amy gave me the time of day is because my dad was some hot shot neurosurgeon. Yeah, fun times. You can leave now.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Really, then why are you here? Do you know what it’s like to lose a parent, to suddenly realize you’re an orphan?”
“Orphan?”
“Yeah, it’s a thing. I looked up a bunch of resources when my mom died. There’s the dead mom’s club, the dead dad’s club and the super special club…the Orphan Club, reserved for those who have lost both parents.”
“No, I haven’t lost a parent, but I am your best friend and I want to help you any way that I can.”
Ephram turned back to face Bright, rubbing the tears of out his eyes. “Yeah, I guess I can tell you now….congratulations. You’re going to be an uncle. Amy probably want to tell you but, you know, she might wait for the right now. I’m not sure there really is a right now.”
“That’s great man, really, I’m happy for you and Amy.”
“Three miscarriages.” Ephram spoke to Bright, realizing he didn’t know any to this. “Three miscarriages and the one time we wait to tell everyone, the one person I want to tell the most isn’t here.”
“I’m sure he knows.”
“Really, you’re so damn sure, Bright. I’m sure my dad is looking down smiling.”
“I get you’re hurtina and you’re in shock, but you don’t get to be a dick about it. I just wanted to say I’m here for you and I’ll be inside—”
“I was a jerk.”
“It’s okay…”
“No, to my dad when we first moved to Everwood. I was passed being a dick for whatever personality trait was. I actually told him I rather he died inside of my mom and in the fight we were having, he wished he died instead of her too. Now they’re both dead.”
“You didn’t mean it.”
Ephram raised his face up to Bright. “I meant it, at the time. Karma’s a bitch right.”

Amy walked out to where Bright and Ephram were standing, wrapped up in her cable knit sweater.

“Ephram…Jacob is on the phone.”
“Can I talk to him later.”
“I tried, but he won’t take no for an answer.”
Ephram took a deep breath before taking the phone from Amy’s hand.

“Hey Grandpa.”
“He’s not on that flight they’re saying that crashed, is he?”
“I think he was, Grandpa. He took an earlier flight to get home and that’s the one they’re talking about.”
“But do you have actual documentation that he boarded the flight.”
“No…I have to go to the airlines and talk to someone and….” Ephram took another deep breath, sighing heavily. “I have verify he was on the plane or something to see if there is anything….left over.”
“Why don’t I take the next flight out and meet you in Everwood.”
“I can’t say I trust the airlines right now.”
“Then trust me.”
“Okay…”

~*~

That afternoon, Jacob and Ephram walked up to the counter.

“I need to verify something.” Ephram’s hands were trembling when pulling out Andy’s birth certificate and other documentation.
“Are you trying to verify a passenger on United Airlines Flight UA 7-0-1.”
“Um, yeah, I am. I’m Ephram Brown…my father.” Ephram cleared his throat, looked to Jacob for reassurance.
Jacob continued. “Yes, the name is Andrew Brown, he was changed his flight to United Airlines…to hopefully get home sooner.”
“And you are?”
“I am this young man’s grandfather and Andrew’s father-in-law.”
“Do you have documentation, sir?” The lady spoke to Ephram.
“Yeah, this is his birth certificate and passport photo.”
“Let me borrow this and I’ll be right back.”

Ephram sighed and looked around. The airline was a zoo of confused faces and crying families finding out the truth about their loved ones.

“Mr. Brown….” The lady called out. “Ephram?”
Ephram turned around quickly. “Yeah, sorry. I keep thinking my dad’s going to turn around when someone says. Mr. Brown?”
“Yes, I was able to verify that Andrew Brown did check into flight UA 7-0-1 as a passenger in coach. Please fill out these forms and we will notify you if anything is recovered.”
Ephram could feel the pain and anger building as he wrote Andy’s information on a piece of paper. All of Andy’s contributions, life’s work….all of it was deduced to a form to claim his belongings. “None of this is real.”
Jacob gave Ephram’s arm a reassuring squeeze. “It won’t be for a very long time.”
“When did it become real for you that mom was gone?”
“Are you kidding? I’m still expecting her to be right beside me giving the airline hell for letting Andy board an earlier flight to begin with.”
“I think I’d rather take all of my final exams in my underwear at once…in Latin instead of filling out this form.”
“You’re a smart kid, you’d ace it.”
“Thank you very much, Mr. Brown…we’ll be in touch.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s all I have. Until the investigation is through and the clean up really begins, the airline doesn’t have anything to release.’
“Clean up?”
The attendant finally showed remorse. “Yes, sir, the recovery mission.”

~*~

“Ephram!” Delia barged into the house that Ephram shared with Amy. “Ephram Brown, where are you?”
“Delia!” Amy called out from the back patio. “I’m out here.”
“Where’s my brother?”
“Making funeral arrangements.”
“Without me? My father dies and my brother plans the services without me.”
“I don’t think he’ll actually settle anything today. Nina is with him; I know she’ll wait for you to be there before anything is decided.”
“I’m glad to see you, but why aren’t you with my brother.”
“I’m giving Ephram the space he needs to figure this out.”
“So what happened?”
Amy shrugged. “Andy boarded an earlier flight to get home sooner and the plane, or the investigation, is leading to engine failure caused by the impending snowstorm. That’s what the tv news is reporting.”
“Nothing from the airlines?”
“No…the news did show video of the airlines and its mass chaos, and no one knows anything. Like a wait and see and the waiting just makes everything worse.”
“Were there any survivors?”
Amy nodded, letting a tear fall. “No.”
“So, what is there to do?”
“Sit and wait for Ephram and Nina to come back.”
“I’m sad the only time I’ve seen you in months is when it’s bad news.”
“Ephram would probably want to wait until he was here, but….I’m pregnant.”
Delia’s sad expression turned into a smile. “Really?”
“Yep, found out a few months ago and decided to tell everyone before the baby told everyone themselves.”
“Do you know what you’re having?”
“No, my dad said the start of the 2nd trimester, so our next appointment in a couple of weeks.”
“At least you have something to focus on.”
“I know it’s only been a few hours, but I feel Ephram pulling away and just folding himself into a cocoon.”
“That is what my brother does.”

~*~

“Alright, Ephram, we have our options, and Delia just texted me that she’s at your house.”
“Not needed, it’s done.”
“What’s done?”
“Arrangements. Flowers, casket…all done.”
“Wait, Ephram, shouldn’t this be something you and Delia decide, together?”
“My dad didn’t ask what kind of arrangements my mom wanted…he just did it all and got it over with. I’m doing the same.”
“Ephram, you were fifteen and Delia was seven. There’s a big difference to who you are now. This is going to hurt her more than you know.”
“And where was she the last five years? Maybe one holiday a year, never a birthday. I’m shocked she got back so soon, thought she might take a few days to think of an excuse of why shouldn’t come home.”
“Ephram, that’s not fair…Delia’s been working…”
“What about off this is fair? Either way, everyone loses, why not just get it over with.”
“Is there going to be your Eulogy? Get it over with?”
“No, of course not.”
“That’s a relief.”
“Yeah, I’m not giving one.”
“Ephram, you have to. Andy is….was your father.”
“Delia’s good at that sort of thing, she can say all the mushy stuff and we’ll have the reception, burial and we move on.”
Nina stopped in the parking lot, beside Ephram’s car. “You are dick sometimes.”
“What am I supposed to do Nina? Cry about it, bawl my eyes out?
“Yeah!”
“I’ve got this loss of a parent thing down pretty good. I’ve done it before.”
“Is that what you’re going to say to your child about your own father. We lost him…what’s for dinner?”
“Sure, why not.”

Nina stood at the car, not getting in, Ephram got back out of the car.

“What are you doing?”
“Waiting for whoever the hell this is speaking to stop and give me the real Ephram back.”
“This is me.”
“No it’s not. The real Ephram would want his wife beside him and wait for his sister to help him decide on all the funeral arrangements.”
“If you didn’t want to come…why did you.”
“To stop you from making an impulsive decision without your sister being here.”
“A lot of good that did, didn’t.”
“Ephram, you cool off, I’m walking back.”
“It’s six miles.”
“Yeah, and by then I might not be so inclined to slap you back into reality.”
Ephram softened up. “What other reality is there, Nina?”
“Then reality where you let people help you.”
“I don’t need help.”

With that, Ephram sped out of the parking lot and Nina walked towards Sam’s diner. Not sure Ephram realized that not only did he lose a father, but Delia also lost a father and Nina lost a husband.

~*~

“It’s nice.” Delia stood beside Ephram looking at all the pictures of the important moments throughout Andy’s life.
“I know I should’ve called you before making all the arrangements, I just thought getting it done would be the best option. Not having to think about it.”
“Not having to think about it. Ephram, he was my dad, too. Not thinking about the funeral arrangements makes it sound like I don’t want to remember him at all. Or is that what you wanted, not to have to remember him at all?”
“What, what are you talking about? Of course I want to remember our father. He was a great man.”
“Remember him in what, four sentences of a Eulogy, in seven pictures that don’t really even come close to describing the man that dad really was. I mean, it looks like you hired some outside company to put this together.” Delia stared at Ephram’s guilty expression. “You hired someone to do this?”
“I didn’t know how it should look.”
“I did, I had opinions on how it should look and nothing like it was out of a magazine or some movie of the week.”
“Great, what do we do now.”
“There’s nothing we can do.”

Delia walked off and Ephram turned and Nina was facing him.

“Told you.”
“And I didn’t listen.”
“Listen? You didn’t hear any of it. I’m not even sure why I went, you just did what you wanted to anyway when I told you to wait for Delia.”
“You sound like what my mom would sound like.”
“Well, I’ve known you since you were fifteen and arguing with your father in the middle of the street. I’ve known you for more than half your life.”
“How do I fix this.”
“I’m not sure you cant…just let Delia come to you. Give her time to figure out what she wants.”
“In the meantime.”
“Honor your father.”
“How are you so calm about this? You were married to my dad, you loved each other and you’re just taking it with grace.”
“I learned something from marrying a gay man….never let them see you sweat.”
“And if they do.”
“Then, let them be there for you when you do.”

~*~

The services went by like the snap of fingers. Everyone was now piling into Sam’s restaurant and finding seats wherever they could.

“Hey everybody.” Delia tilted her glass towards the room and continued. “Thank you everyone for coming. I think my dad would’ve loved to have seen everyone here, knowing how much he is still loved in our little town. We never talked about what kind of plans to make for his kind of thing, but I think it would be nice if we all shared some memories of dad and remember him as a friend, a doctor, a father, a husband and just a really good guy.”

Nina walked up to the microphone stand. “Hi, everyone. My first introduction to Andy was him fighting with his son Ephram in the middle of our street with a shouting match that would rival the fire drills at County High. But what I saw was a father desperately wanting to connect with is son in spite what he had already lost. I had no idea who this man was who moved into our town after leaving one of the most profitable practices in New York…maybe the country even. But then I soon realized he wanted to connect with his children, his son mostly. Andy wanted to honor his late wife, Julia, by rebuilding what he had taken for granted with Ephram….a father and son relationship. Andy didn’t know how he was going to do it, but he did it. Sometimes, at the end of the day…you could see the pride in Andy’s eyes that he did it. He was able to turn his life around and the be the father he always dreamed he could be to two amazing children. He could be the doctor he always wanted to be without all the politics and the rush of the big city. Andy found a way to balance it all because Andy had heart, and Andy had compassion.” Nina felt herself grow tired and the tears sting her eyes, she continued. “The few years that I was able to be Mrs. Andrew Brown were nothing but extraordinary. I got to be a wife to a man who came home for dinner when he said he was going to. I got to be in this world were you knew things were going to be okay and yeah, thinks will be okay.”

A few of Andy’s patients said a few words and Harold quietly took the to the mic stand.

“It’s no secret that I didn’t want to get along with Andy Brown. Truth is, I wished, in the beginning, that he never came to Everwood. At first, I was intimidated by him, I was overwhelmed by what he had accomplished…I was afraid he would be able to provide simple medical care and put me out of business and not make a dime doing it. But, as I stand here today, I am in awe of the The Great Doctor. I see how his compassion wins over everything else. Not many people know this…I was able to study aside Doctor Brown when he came to visit a hospital, I was making rounds on. I think I feared him, I feared his knowledge would take over the world and what would be left for small town doctors like me. Well, I see now, I can only see him as Nina said it, extraordinary. He came to Everwood as a man who was just searching for a way to handle the grief of losing his wife while honoring her vision of coming to Everwood and building a life. He had many disadvantages when moving here, and he took it all with Grace. If he had moments, he took them in stride and when he had moments of disparity, he had them behind closed doors. Andy didn’t let you see him sweat, maybe he got that while being in New York, but whatever it was, wherever it came from, I’m glad he bought it Everwood. I can’t imagine Everwood without him as a doctor, a husband, a father because he is more than that. Andy Brown will always be my friend.”

~*~

“Everyone’s leaving, aren’t you going to say something?” Amy interrupted Ephram from cleaning up. “You haven’t said anything.”
“Everyone said everything, you said a lot.”
“You really don’t get it do you?”
“Get what? What am I supposed to get Amy?” Ephram’s voice was raised, and everyone turned their eyes to him. “What am I supposed to say? “ Ephram grabbed his jacket. “I’m out of here.”
Amy dropped what she was holding but was halted by Delia. “Don’t….Ephram needs his space.”
“But where is he going?”
“A place he feels it’s okay to let go.”

~*~

Ephram stood at the headstone for what seemed like hours. When moving, he could feel the cold air bite into him.

“Hey, dad. It was a nice service.” Ephram looked around and continued. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. You’re supposed to be here, you’re always supposed to be here. You promised you would be after mom died. I’m not sorry that you’re the parent I was left with…I’m proud. I know I had a special relationship with mom when she was alive, but I think getting to know you was the best gift I could ask for. Yeah, I was an ass when we first moved to Everwood and I did everything for you to hate me and send me back to New York. But you never did. You knew I needed to go through all of this to come out on the other side. But, how did you know? I mean, I was a jerk to you, and you still loved me anyway…I put you through hell and you were always there.” Ephram could feel his mouth go dry with the silent tears. “Why aren’t you here? Why aren’t you here when I want to tell you how much I love you and not just as my dad, but as a friend. Damnit dad, why! Why did you have to board that earlier flight, why did you have to take that damn trip at all. You hated speaking engagements and in Vermont? You couldn’t find a further away place or was it because mom loved Vermont Maple Syrup?” Ephram cleared his throat and continued. “You’re going to be a grandfather…I couldn’t wait to tell you. Amy wanted to wait until we were in the second trimester to say anything to anyone because of the miscarriages…but since Nina knew, you probably knew too. No matter what, my child will know how great his or her grandfather was. I’m gonna make sure of it. Nina, Amy, Delia, me…we’re all going to tell this child how great you were. You never wavered. You were the strongest man I’ve ever known and nothing will change that.” Ephram looked up at the clear sky. “Hi mom….hi dad….take care of each other….I’ll be up there to see you someday.”


The Words of Doctor Brown…

Well, the thing about the picture is…how do you look in it? It’s not about who your standing next to, or what’s in the background…it’s “are you smiling?”, “are you happy?”. “are you good with the choices that you’ve made?” Because if you are, it doesn’t matter where you’re standing or who you’re standing next to…its…it’s a good picture.

[THE END]