break the window

I Need You Tonight

Hey ya'll! I've returned! So this is titled after a Backstreet Boys song...written/performed by Nick Carter I do believe. Anyway, that's where the title and end scene comes from. It's something really different than what I've done, so I hope you all enjoy it.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Includes language and open drug use

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“Amy, you ready to go, the dance is going to last forever.” Ephram called up stairs
Amy stared at herself in the mirror. “The dance can’t really end until I’m crowned homecoming queen. They will wait.” She kept brushing her hair until she could not feel a tangle anywhere. She leaned down, still facing the mirror, dragging the pure white dust closer together. She took her nose to the mirror and immediately began to feel the familiar high she always loved. ‘Tonight will be the last night’ Amy would again tell herself as she had the last several weeks. She’s just glad no one has caught on to her relapse. ‘I can quit when I want to…I’m just not ready.’ Amy recited to herself in the mirror almost as if she were reciting her lines for a character in the school play. It was very familiar territory of making her actions seem normal when in reality, she didn’t know where she was half the time until her high wore off and reality would set in of how unhappy she was.

Amy felt like a new woman as she was putting her hair up, rolling her eyes, the way Ephram liked it. All it took was a little white dust. Most days she couldn’t believe Ephram still wanted to call her his girlfriend after they had broken up so many times. It was never about the drugs, Amy told herself, but maybe it was…at the end of the day, she didn’t care. She just felt that Ephram didn’t understand the pain she was going through. But then she thought, how could he not? He lost his mother in a car accident, not knowing the last time he saw her was the last time he’d ever see her. Amy knew the last time she’d seen her mother was the last time she would see her mother. The cancer took Rose quickly…more quickly than expected. One peaceful night, clearest sky in almost Everwood history, Rose laid down in her bed, her husband, Harold, pulled the covers up and kissed his wife goodnight. He rolled over to check on her and Rose had passed away peacefully next her husband.

She reached the bottom of the steps, Ephram not being able to take his eyes off of her. Amy felt pretty good about herself just then, almost feeling like the woman Ephram was seeing through his eyes.

Ephram was ready to place a winter coat over Amy’s shoulders, she denied it. “Please, Ephram, it’s like a million degrees in here. When I get outside, I might actually feel comfortable.”
“It’s twenty-seven degrees outside.”
She stomped back over. “If you insist, I just don’t want to walk into the dance sweating.”
“Trust me, you won’t.”

Bright pulled Ephram aside as Amy walked out the door.

“What’s with my sister?”
“What do you mean?”

“Doesn’t she seem…different to you?”

“No, same ole Amy.”
Bright sighed and followed his friend and sister out to the limo, holding his date, Melody’s hand.

~*~

Ephram found Amy outside on the sidewalk, alone.

“Amy, they’re going to announce homecoming soon.”
“Oh, yeah, I was just getting some air. It’s stuffy in there.”
Ephram felt Amy’s shoulders, they were like ice. “Here, you’re freezing.” He was taking off his jacket to place on her shoulders.
“I feel fine…I guess I finally kicked that internal warm front.”
“You’re usually cold and wearing a sweater thing in class.”

“I guess my body is changing…maybe I’m going the change!” Amy laughed at her own joke, but frowned when Ephram wasn’t laughing. “You’re not laughing.”
Ephram pulled her side to the restrooms for privacy. “What’s going on?”
“What, I’m back in here to get my crown…the one you told me about. You forget already…that mind Ephram, when it goes…it goes.”
“Bright was right…there is something going on with you.”
“So I had some champagne when I walked in…it’s homecoming. Time to have some fun.”
“Then let’s go dance…”
Amy looked over at the empty bathroom and back at Ephram smiling. “Come on…”

“Umm…no.” Ephram spoke sternly when seeing what Amy was looking at.
“Come on, Ephram, it’ll take like five minutes.”

“No…let’s go.”

“Ephram, you said your all-time fantasy was having a quickie in the bathroom…this is our chance. No one will know we were gone!”
“I never said that and we need to go. Your only reason for attending homecoming was to get the crown.”

“Wait, I'm not homecoming queen. Debbie Matisse is, everyone knows it.”
“I thought you said you were homecoming queen and it’s the only reason you would attend the dance.”
“Oh, please, who would nominate me queen?”

Just then the entire room was quiet, the sophomore class president was on stage in a simple gown holding a glittery envelope. “Hey everyone!”

She let the entire room get quiet before continuing.

“I’m Rachel Pruitt, sophomore class president and I’m here to present the homecoming king and queen. Ben Calvert was supposed to do it..but he got food poisoning, so it’s just me! Anyway…since you know all the nominees from the posters around school, I’ll just announce the winner.” A crowd member shouted just get on with it and Rachel’s face turned read. “Well, without further ado…your homecoming king is Calvin Winchester!”

Everyone cheered as Calvin practically danced up onto the stage.

“This is really awesome. I wish I had this great speech prepared given that it’s my senior year and I’ve been up on this podium since my freshman year accepting this dubious honor…I don’t. This school is awesome and I hope that some lucky schmuck has as much fun as I do their next four years at County High. Whew!”

Rachel came back to the microphone. “Yeah, I know, not the girl you want to see. But I am here to announce the homecoming queen this evening. And that person is…Amy Abbott!”

The lights opened up on the stage and Amy came rushing towards the stage. Getting up there, she was exasperated like she had just run a marathon to get to where she was.

“Wow, homecoming queen…I really thought Debbie was going to win this year…at least that’s what Rhonda, Marlene, Ashley, Madison…hah, Ashley Madison.” Amy laughed at her own joke when most of the people in the crowd didn’t. “Homecoming queen during my senior year. How ****ing awesome!” Amy looked around and saw the administration not smiling and the crowd looking gobsmacked at her attempt at humor. “The champagne, really ****ing awesome! Come on, we’re fricken seniors, we’re out of this place. I for one, will not miss most of really anything. I mean, the day my best friend was killed in a car accident…oops, am I not supposed to talk about that…is it okay Mr. Policeman…every time I even mention the name Hannah ****ing Rogers, someone points a stick at me and says I cannot talk about her until after the trial. Well, enough about that.” Amy looked to her right to see Calvin, who was standing uncomfortably in his cape and crown. “Calvin Winchester, we’re seniors man! I for one am so happy we have gotten this far. You’re looking really sexy in that dollar store cape and crown…I mean who else can rock that outfit…oh, my boyfriend Ephram would so rock that cape and crown. Where is he? Ephram!?” She called out, trying to shield her eyes from the bright lights, trying to find him, but he didn’t seem to be anywhere. “He’s probably just a little shy, he was never one for the spotlight. I couldn’t even get him in the bathroom for five minutes of sex! That is his fantasy, right Ephram!?” She called out, loudly, hopefully to find him but didn’t and felt really sad and all of a sudden tired. Glancing to her right, standing beside Calvin…Ephram, not looking mad or sad…just looking at her. “Hey baby, there you are. Sorry, I called you out on the sex thing…” He was walking towards her, never changing his look. “What are you doing?”

Ephram took the microphone out of Amy’s hand, handed it to Calvin. “We’re going home.”
“But I’m the damn homecoming queen, I have to give my speech!”
“Oh, you’ve said enough.” Ephram looked at her again, focusing on her eyes. “Dammit Amy, you’re high.”
“Just a little buzzed.”
Ephram took her and almost lost his balance when Amy took her hand forcefully back. “I’m not ready to leave yet.”
“What else could you possibly have to say?”
“I haven't had a goodnight kiss.” Just then, Amy pushed Ephram aside and planted her lips onto Calvin’s. She made sure to deepen the kiss to really enjoy every moment of it. She went in for a second kiss when she heard the crowd cheering, she always wanted an audience when feeling a buzz.

The curtain was finally down when Amy broke her kiss with Calvin.

“You should take pointers Ephram, that was a damn good kiss!”
“Come on, we’re going home.”
“Home? Home is depressing. All those pictures of Hannah, me with Hannah, Bright with Hannah. That life doesn’t exist anymore.”

Amy started to stumble and fell in Ephram’s arms. After calling her name a few times…Ephram was relieved when Amy passed out.

~*~

Amy woke up but hadn’t opened yer eyes yet. She felt herself under the covers of her bed, still in her homecoming dress. Odd, Amy didn’t remember putting on her homecoming dress. She opened her eyes to a semi dark room and Ephram sitting in the chair adjacent to her bed.

“Hey.”
Ephram looked over. Amy could tell something bad had happened when he couldn’t look at her. He just simply got up and sat beside her on the bed. “Hey.”
“I have a raging headache.”
“Good.”
“What, good…why do you say that?”
“Amy, how long have you been using?”
“I don’t use drugs, Ephram!”
“Don’t lie to me Amy. I saw your eyes tonight, you couldn’t see straight even if you had a ruler.”
“I didn’t use drugs.”

“What were you on tonight.”
“Okay, fine, it was just a little of cocaine…that’s it. Just to get me through tonight.”

“You’ve been different for months. How long have you been using.”
Amy sat up, realizing lying was getting her anywhere. “I got some after Hannah’s accident, the pills for the pain were working so I got some cocaine.”

“From who?”
“Tommy’s friend…Damon.”
“You’ve been lying to me…everyone…for six months.”
“You see me as this perfect person and I’m not…I was driving the car that killed Hannah…it’s hard to even wake up in the morning, much less be Mary ****ing Sunshine to everyone. I just need a little buzz to get through the day.”

Ephram was angry. “How much is a little?”
“Not sure, whatever is in the little baggie.”

Ephram sighed heavily, looking at Amy, looking so beautiful in the half light that was hitting her face. It killed him to say the next two words.

“We’re done.”

~*~

Ephram for his twittering cell phone and pressed to ignore.

“You’ve ignored Amy’s phone calls sixteen times.”

“What’s what the rehab doctor said. No matter how many times she attempts to call, don't talk to her. She needs to overcome this by herself.”
“You have a lot more will power than I do.”
“You’ve talked to her?”
“Once. My dad caught me talking to her and immediately took the phone away and said it was her battle to fight. She needs to know what it feels like to really lose everything.”
“I just can’t believe I didn’t see it.”
“The closest ones usually don’t.”
“I wished I would’ve believed you that night.”
“Oh, the night Amy trashed whatever good reputation you had on stage.”
“Yeah…that will live with me every step I date in Everwood.”
“Now you really want to move to New York, don’t you?”
“I can’t leave her now…she’ll need me when she comes back home. Whenever that is.”
“You two broke up.”
“The version that Amy has become, I broke up. I’m in love with her and I can’t just walk away…not entirely.”
“You really do love my sister.”
“I really do.”

~*~

After dinner, Ephram finally checked the hundreds of messages Amy left on his phone. Most of them started out as hangups then she started talking, asking how he was doing. The more he checked, the more emotional Amy became, talking about how lonely it is in rehab, not being able to talk to anyone she knows. Always needing something to keep going. The last voicemail was chilling..

Hi Ephram. This is last voicemail I’m going to leave, although I have promised this before, so not really sure if this its he last you’ll hear from me. I got out…I signed myself out. Not sure if they’ll coming looking for me since i’m still so messed up. I know I’m messed Ephram and I’m so…so sorry for what I did to you at the dance. This is me not on drugs or anything, it’s me and for once in a really long time, I’m sober, but I don’t know how long I can be this way. It’s so easy to just be when I’m on a buzz, I don’t have to think about anything. I don’t have to think about the look Hannah’s parents give me whenever they see m in town or feeling I get when I try to talk to Bright. I know I didn’t kill Hannah, but damnit, Ephram, I was driving the car…I was dri..the car.” He could hear Amy stumbling against things, breaking his heart. How much could he take being away from her. “I don’t expect you to call me back or ever want to see me again. I wanted to let you know that I made it home safe. I love you…bye.

Nina asked where Ephram was going on in a hurry.

“It’s Amy.”
“You two broke up.”
"
She needs me.”

~*~

The front door was almost left completely open when Ephram approached the porch. He was preparing himself to see Amy in any form. Using…asleep…or his biggest fear…dead. He ran up the steps and knocked softly.

He knocked again. “Amy, it’s Ephram.”

“It’s Open.” Amy sounded in a muffled voice.
“What’s going on?”

Amy looked up, making Ephram’s heart beat faster. Her eyes were bloodshot and she had dark circles around her eyes like she hadn’t slept in days and maybe she hadn’t.

“I didn’t expect you to come.”
“Sorry it took me so long…I didn’t think you’d be back in Everwood so soon.” Ephram made sure to choose his words carefully.
“I couldn’t stay there. Everyone always asking me how I was feeling and making me write my thoughts out in journals. I just wanted to crawl into my own bed and sleep. They said I couldn’t. But Ephram, I’m so tired. I’m tired of lying to you, I’m so tired of being angry at myself and everyone hating me for what happened.”
“I don’t hate you.”
Her face shot up. “You don’t?”
“I love you, I could never hate you.”
“But we broke up, you don’t break up with someone you’re in love with.”
“Amy, if we didn’t break up and you weren’t taken to rehab, would you have stopped using.”
“I don’t know.”

She got up and tripped over her bag, spilling out numerous little baggies of white dust

“You’re still using.”
“Oh, damn, those were still in there…I’ll get rid of them later.”
“Or we could do it now…flush it down the toilet. Never have to worry about seeing them ever again.”

Ephram had a handful of them in his hands, Amy had an angry look on her face when grabbing the handful.

“I’ll get rid of them later..” She almost sternly, almost with authority.
“I’ll do it for you.”

Before Ephram could pull his hand back, Amy smacked them onto the floor. She immediately went to pick them up, almost like a child would pick up little legos.

“Amy, I'll get rid of them, just let them go.”
“No, I need them. It’ll just take me a minute and everything will be okay.”
“Amy, please stop…drop the bags.”
“Ephram, I’m fine. I almost got them.”

Ephram held Amy’s hand harshly, making her fingers go and all but a few baggies drop onto the floor.

“Let ‘em go.”
“Ephram, I need them, please, they’re going to break and…”
“And, what, cocaine is all over the room? Cocaine is already all over the room, Amy. It’s in you, you spread it with everything you touch.”
“You’re just being mean. I want you to leave.”

“Not until the cocaine is down the toilet.”

“But it’s mine!”

Ephram grabbed her hands with force, turning them red, looking into Amy’s bloodshot eyes.

“Let it go.”
“What if I don’t?”
“Amy, please, I want to help you.”

“By breaking up with me, leaving me alone in rehab? That’s your idea of helping? No wonder we broke up….let go of my hands.”
“Let go of the cocaine.”
“It’s mine.”
“Let it go.”
“I can’t!”

Amy slapped Ephram so hard across the face, her hand print left an impression. She expected him to walk away and she would be okay, she just knew it. But he wasn’t moving, he just kept looking into her eyes.

“Let it go!”
“No!”

Ephram kept reaching for the bags and eventually when Amy pulled back, the bags broke and cocaine landed on the floor, white dust filled the tan carpet.

“See, Ephram, see what happened. Now no one can use it.”
“Good.”
“Just go, get the hell out of room! Get the hell out of my life!”
“No.”
“You broke up with me! You give mixed signals, you know that?!”
“You need help.”
“I need to be able to be okay…my buzz makes me okay.”
“Cocaine is not the answer!” Ephram shouted.
“It’s my answer. You weren’t there! You weren’t there when the car hit Hannah on the side, you weren’t there…” Amy was so tired she was leaning towards the bed for support to stand. “You weren’t there…I needed you so much and you weren’t there.”
“I’m here now” Ephram reached around Amy and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I”m here now, let me be here.”
“I killed her Ephram. I was driving the car.”

“The car ran the stop sign, you didn’t kill her…the other driver did.”
“But everyone blames me.”
“Then they’re wrong.”
“I’m so sorry.” Amy finally let out the cry she had been holding in for so long. “I’m so…I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are.”
“Ephram…?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I need help.”

~*~