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Clarke and Lexa are both capable of love, and they both already know how. They simply shut that part of themselves off because they both felt that was needed to win the war, but they both already knew what love was and how to give it before Lexa became Commander and Clarke became the leader of her people.
They did not teach each other how to love. That was something they already knew. They taught each other that it didn't make them bad leaders or bad people to feel it. They taught each other it was okay to be vulnerable with each other, that it was okay to be happy and in love with someone, and to express that love. While it may seem like a tiny distinction, it's a very important one.
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