MistyMountainHop

With three votes, the winner of the "Eric's Hot Cousin" (4x14) Quotation Survivor is ...

RED: Surprise! This ought to keep you company during the week.
KITTY: Roy's Pet Store? Red, you got me a cat!
RED: Well, it's like a cat.
KITTY: A fish? Red, it's a fish.
RED: See? It's like a cat. They're both pets.
KITTY: No, they're not. Pets are called pets because you pet them. How do I pet this thing?
RED: Well, you just reach in and corner it and give it a rub. That's the thing about fish: they just love the feel of the human hand.




Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

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1.
KELSO: Hey, guys. It is literally a million degrees out. I'm wearing shorts in January! Have you ever seen prettier legs on a fella?
JACKIE: Michael, we'll admire your legs later.

2.
JACKIE: Snow Prom is tomorrow. We need to keep up our campaign for Snow Queen and Snow King.
KELSO: Jackie, I did campaign. I wrote our names all over the place.
ERIC: Kelso, you peed in the snow.
KELSO: In cursive! It was awesome.

3.
JACKIE: You may not take this seriously, but I do. I used to be a rich, popular girl. But now that my dad has cut me off, I'm not rich, so I have to be twice as popular.
DONNA: Maybe you should spend less time worrying about being popular and more time being thoughtful, friendly, considerate.
JACKIE: Okay, can I get a translation because that was gibberish.

4.
ERIC: Whoa, whoa. Hyde, you're going to a school dance? You're going to stink-bomb the teachers' lounge, aren't you? I want in!
HYDE: No, man. Kid stuff. See, during the dance, I'm going to throw a party in Coach Ferguson's office. I'm bringing my best stuff.
FEZ: A party with your best stuff? Are you saying what I think you're saying?
HYDE: You know it.
FEZ: Oh boy, you have a piñata?

5.
ERIC: It's weird. I feel like I'm forgetting something. I've got my watch, my wallet, my who-am-I-kidding condom.
HYDE: Yeah, sounds like you got everything except for a tall redhead.
ERIC; Yeah. What man doesn't love a tall red … oh, my God, Donna! I forgot Donna.

6.
VICE PRINCIPAL COLE: I have a serious announcement: a tornado warning has been issued. I'm told it's code red. I don't know the codes, but red sounds serious.

7.
JACKIE: Michael, this is my worst nightmare.
KELSO: A tornado is your worst nightmare? Mine's monsters.

8.
JACKIE: How could I be runner-up [for Snow Queen]? If I'm not a rich, popular girl, I'm nothing. I'm like Donna.

9.
KELSO: No, Jackie, you are the girlfriend to the Snow King. Now, as Snow King, I must lead my people to safety. All right, everyone! Everyone, follow me! [He opens a closet, and all kinds of gym balls pour out.] Remain calm, people! These are just sports balls! Everyone grab a ball!

10.
KITTY: Red, if Eric gets caught in a tornado, he'll get blown to Canada. He's very light.

11.
RED: Kitty, the gym is the town's bomb shelter. He'll be fine. I just hope he's not crying. Everybody knows he's my kid.

12.
KITTY: Okay, you're right. Eric's fine. Let's just talk about something else.
BOB: Ooh! You know, Joanne taught me a lot about lady orgasms. They've been around longer than I thought.
KITTY: Okay, so talking's bad.

13.
KITTY: I know, charades!
RED: No, thanks.
JOANNE: What are you, chicken?
RED: Did you just call me chicken? That's it. Move the couch, Kitty. She's going down.

14.
KELSO: People of the make-out stairwell, this is your Snow King speaking.
FEZ: Boo! Hit the lights, fool!
KELSO: No, there's a tornado. Everyone go to the gym. The Snow King has spoken! [People toss things at him.] All right, that's gross. Who threw the retainer?

15.
RHONDA: Oh, my God, Fez! A tornado? This changes everything. This could be our last night here on earth.
FEZ: Oh, no. I'm going to die a virgin.
RHONDA: Not if I have anything to say about it.
FEZ: You can talk all you want, but there's a tornado coming.

16.
ERIC: Donna, look, I'm sorry I'm late. I really did want to pick you up before the dance. So it's no big deal, really.
DONNA: No big deal? It's a huge deal. I was in back filing records, and suddenly everyone was gone, and I was stuck here alone. And you risked the tornado for me.
ERIC: Tornado? What tornado … could stop me from helping you?

17.
ERIC: So, uh, tell me, um … is the tornado, like, um … like, out there?
DONNA: Yeah. They say it's a biggie.
ERIC: Oh.
DONNA: Eric, are you okay?
ERIC: Sure. Uh, it's just that now that I know you're okay, I can finally start worrying about me. And, see, the thing about me is … I don't want to die!

18.
ERIC: So, what to do? Let's see … there's you, there's me, candlelight. You know, back in the old days we would have--
DONNA: We're not doing that.
ERIC: Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. So quick to dismiss the thing you once ached for.
DONNA: You mean cheese sticks?
ERIC: If you want to call it that, sure.

19.
[Kitty is acting out dancing for charades.]

RED: Gyrating. Twisting. Uh … hips! You make me feel like hips!
BOB: Time! We win.
KITTY: I was dancing! “You make me feel like hips'”?
RED: It could have been a song.
JOANNE: Is it hard to lose, Red? ‘Cause you make it look so easy.

20.
COACH FERGUSON: You're in big trouble, bud.
HYDE: You should suspend me. I need a vacation.

21.
[During a circle.]

COACH FERGUSON: Hey, Hyde, when this is all over, you think we'll still be friends?
HYDE: Well, my head says no, but my heart … says no.

22.
[Jackie’s The Wizard of Oz dream.]

KELSO: Jackie, why'd you make me the Scarecrow? He needs a brain.
JACKIE: No. No, I made you the Scarecrow because you love chasing birds.
KELSO: I do love chasing birds.

23.
[Jackie’s The Wizard of Oz dream.]

FEZ: Look, guys! I'm a bear.
JACKIE: Fez, you're the Cowardly Lion.
FEZ: But I want to be a bear.
KELSO: At least you got a brain.

24.
[Jackie’s The Wizard of Oz dream.]

JACKIE: Miss Wizard, I'm confused. I lost Snow Queen. And now I'm wondering if titles and popularity aren't as important as being a good person.
GLINDA: Well, how do you know when you're a good person? When everyone likes you, right? When you're popular. And how do you know when you're popular?
JACKIE: Oh, my God! When you win titles like Snow Queen! Winning titles and being a good person are the same thing.
GLINDA: So you go after that title, child.
JACKIE: Oh, I will, Miss Wizard. I will.
GLINDA: And remember: if someone calls you shallow, they're just jealous.

25.
VICE PRINCIPAL COLE: Tornado passed through, is heading to Illinois. Kiss my ass, Chicago!
RHONDA: Oh, my God, we're safe! Sex just doesn't seem important anymore.
FEZ: I disagree, and here's why—
RHONDA: Let's go celebrate with everyone! [She leaves.
FEZ: Oh, you can make a tornado, but you can't let me do it? No, you are not a just God!

26.
[Red, Kitty, Joanne, and Bob are playing Monopoly.]

RED [about to roll the dice]: Okay, no six. No six. And … six!
JOANNE: Look, Park Place.
BOB: Ah, Park Place. Pay up.
KITTY: I told you we shouldn't spend all our money on Marvin Gardens.
RED: Oh, and Baltic Avenue was such a help.
KITTY: I bought that with my beauty-contest winnings.

27.
[Red, Kitty, Joanne, and Bob are playing Monopoly.]

JOANNE: Mm, poor Red. Losing again while we have this large housing development that I like to call Joanne Land. Where's Red Land? I can't see it.
RED: I'll tell you where it is. It's right up your--
KITTY: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Shh.
MAN ON TV: This just in: the National Weather Service has canceled the tornado warning. And updating our top story, a local teen is in critical condition...

Red picks up the Monopoly board.]

KITTY: Oh, game over. Call it a tie.
BOB: A tie? We had all the money.
RED: So? We had the get-out-of-jail-free card. And you can't put a price on freedom.

28.
KELSO: Look, Jackie, I know you're upset, and I don't know why you're not Snow Queen. But I do know this: I am Snow King, so that's pretty cool.