Grazzhopper

With four votes (including mine), we must to...

PENNY: I saw Uncle Red leaving, and I wanted to talk to you alone. See, I kind of have a crush on you.
ERIC: Okay, Penny, okay. Look, I don't know what the laws are down in … Florida. But up here, the cousin-lovin' is really frowned upon.

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Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

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1.
KELSO: Hey, guys? I'm thinking about getting a perm. Hyde, can I get the number of your guy?
HYDE: I don't have a guy, dumbass. This righteous moss is a gift from God.

2.
Eliminated in Round 1

3.
HYDE: Oh, Forman, my favorite was when you trapped her in the revolving door at the library and kept spinning her.
KELSO: Yeah. She ralphed, and then she had to keep walking through the puddle 'cause it's a revolving door. It spins in circles. That's its nature.

4.
Eliminated in Round 2

5.
PENNY: [T]his Wisconsin air is so dry. I really should go inside and moisturize before I lose my tan.
FEZ: I have lotion.
HYDE: I think the best plan is for all of us to go to the movies … except for me and Penny, who will stay here and moisturize each other.
KELSO: What? Screw that. I'm gonna moisturize, too.
JACKIE: Michael!
KELSO: I'll just do, like, a leg or something.

6.
KITTY: Have you seen that little stray cat that's been hanging around our house?
RED: Oh, yeah. I met him this morning. Then he met the hose. Kitty, we don't need more things hanging around our house. We already have Steven and Kelso ... and foreign kid.

7.
RED: Here's my problem with cats. Best-case scenario: you get the smartest cat in the world. He still craps in your house.
KITTY: Well, it's just -- it would be nice to have something to take care of.
RED: I'll tell you what, Kitty. Instead of getting a cat, why don't we all just stop flushing? It's the same thing!

8.
ERIC: Guys, I'm getting some weirdness from Cousin Penny. Earlier, she gave me a hug, but this wasn't a cousin-hug. Our middles touched. And not just for a second. She pressed.
KELSO: I've heard of kissing cousins. But have you ever heard of doin'-it cousins? 'Cause that's what I think Forman should be shooting for here.
ERIC: Kelso, I appreciate the advice, but your solution to every problem is do it with her.
KELSO: Well, it worked with my old science teacher. C-minus!

9.
ERIC: Well, unfortunately, Penny is my cousin. [Having sex with her would] be like looking at my mom and thinking, “Hey, baby, how …” I'm just gonna stop right there.
FEZ: I've thought that about your mom, but I didn't stop right there.

10.
RED: Surprise! This ought to keep you company during the week.
KITTY: Roy's Pet Store? Red, you got me a cat!
RED: Well, it's like a cat.
KITTY: A fish? Red, it's a fish.
RED: See? It's like a cat. They're both pets.
KITTY: No, they're not. Pets are called pets because you pet them. How do I pet this thing?
RED: Well, you just reach in and corner it and give it a rub. That's the thing about fish: they just love the feel of the human hand.

11.
PENNY: Are you sure it's okay for me to do my yoga in here? Do Aunt Kitty and Uncle Red allow girls in your room?
ERIC: Well, you're my cousin, so you don't even really count as a girl. You're like a rock. A moving, talking, extremely limber rock.

12.
KITTY: Honey, I'm running a little late. I was, um … redecorating Fluffy's bowl.
RED: Kitty, it's a stupid fish.
KITTY: What?

13.
Eliminated in Round 4

14.
Eliminated in Round 3

15.
DONNA [completely sunburned]: Hey, what's up?
HYDE: Forman wants to nail his cousin.
ERIC: No. No, no, no, she's not my cousin. She was adopted. And what the hell happened to your face?
DONNA: What the hell happened to yours?
JACKIE: Burn!

16.
ERIC: Yeah, I gotta admit, Donna, that was a nice burn. And I don't mean what you said just there. I mean your face. Nice burn.
DONNA: Hey, you know if you ever need a date for Prom, you can just flip through the family album.

17.
ERIC: Oh, God. You're just jealous because Penny is incredibly hot ... and you're a throbbing red pile.
DONNA: Eric, my sunburn will fade, but your shame will last forever.
ERIC: Yeah, well, at least my shame won't ... peel.

18.
PENNY: You know what I'd really love to do? Stay up late and watch movies like we did when we were kids. Remember? All alone in the dark?
ERIC: That's a good plan.
PENNY: And let's wear our jammies!
ERIC: Excellent addition to the plan.
PENNY: Oh, but I usually just sleep in a T-shirt and panties. Is that okay?
ERIC: Well, so do I! I mean, you know, man-panties … underwear. You know what I meant.

19.
RED: Kitty? What happened?
KITTY: Fluffy died.
RED: Well, if it's any consolation, fish are never even really alive. They're just less dead.

20.
KITTY: You know, [Fluffy] wasn't good company, but at least he was company. Red, I'm unhappy.
RED: Oh! I gotta go to the store.
KITTY: I am a nurturer. I am not gonna be satisfied nurturing something you'd win at a carnival.

21.
RED: Kitty, what do you want? I'll get you anything you want. Not a cat.
KITTY: I want to go back to the hospital to work.
RED: Oh. As long as it's not a cat, I'm good.
KITTY: Okay, I think what you mean is, “I'm glad you're doing what makes you happy.”

22.
RED: And I'm sorry that your fish died.
KITTY: Don't be. I flushed it.

23.
[In the basement, Penny is in a robe. Eric is in a T-shirt and underwear. Red and Kitty arrive.]

PENNY: Don't, Eric! Don't!
ERIC: No, I was--
RED: Eric, step away from your cousin.
ERIC: No, she's not my cousin. She was adopted.
PENNY: I'm not adopted.
ERIC: Wh-what? What? She's lying!
KITTY: Eric, I saw her mother give birth to her. Now what is going on?
ERIC: I'm … sleepwalking?
RED: And I'm about to be sleep-kicking your ass.

24.
PENNY: Eric, what kind of person would lie about something as serious as being adopted?
ERIC: A liar who specializes in adoption lies: you! A mean, vindictive person.
PENNY: Like someone who would trap someone in a revolving door?
ERIC: Yes! Oh …

25.
ERIC: Mom, Dad, can Penny and I be alone for a minute?
RED: No! I'm not raising any Flipper-grandkids.

26.
DONNA: Cousin Penny went back home, huh? Oh, wait, did I say cousin? Yeah, I meant cousin. Looks like that's two hot girls you can't have.
ERIC: Well, thank you for such a conservative estimate.