FoxPhile

That is very nice. But even in a family, the members understand that we sometimes have obligations outside of the family - or obligations to other families. They should look on this situation as this might be your "birth" family, but you "married into" the family of your other job and you have an obligation to participate equally in that family.

Of course, real married people struggle with that issue all the time - and get into fights and hurt feelings over it. So while the analogy works, it doesn't mean people are automatically good at dealing with it.

WeBuiltThePyramids

Yeah. I'm hoping they're understanding whenever this comes up, it's not like I'll respond to it with "um ex-ca-use me I have a life" or anything, I'd just remind them that I do have another job and I am already committed to that other job for that day.

FoxPhile

Went to the office for the first time in about a month today - the bosses wanted to take me out to lunch.

I also got my hard drive put into a nice new laptop with a brand new keyboard - so no more issues with the dang S key! It was funny watching the tech shop guys shaking their heads at the condition of my old keyboard. I definitely put these poor things through a workout!

WeBuiltThePyramids

Ok so I think I mentioned that my sister went to dinner with her fiance and his parents and grandparents and the grandma hated her for wearing makeup and not being Baptist? Joe turned 25 the other day they went to Joe's birthday dinner and she was there (her, his grandpa, his parents, my sister and Joe) and straight up in front of them all said "Joe, I've written you a letter I am going to mail on why you shouldn't have gotten involved with this girl." Then she proceeded to discuss what's wrong with Kristin for the ENTIRE meal, during which no one stood up for my sister. On some level I'm mad at Joe but I also get being in a family where you're "not allowed" to speak up against your elders (the reason I don't see most of my family any more is because I stood up for myself to my uncle once and they treated me like crap for "not just sitting there and taking it and instead starting drama") and I'm FURIOUS at his parents for just going along with it. They didn't even ask if she was okay. She's furious and devastated and says she and Joe need to talk about this and I doubt he will get mad at her, I'm sure he feels bad and all, but he needs to grow a damn backbone because she cannot and will not be in a relationship where she’s subjected to this crap and if she doesn't have him to stand up for her it's not going to work. ALSO her future mother in law informed her that they have over 100 people they are “required to invite” and that includes their entire extended family PLUS their entire church.

And this whole thing is because my sister was raised Catholic, and she isn't even Catholic anymore.

FoxPhile

I hope they can work that out and that your sister's fiance does a better job of backing her up. I can understand that it's difficult to stand up to family, but it's something you really have to do if you're going to bring someone you love into your family.

WeBuiltThePyramids

Yeah. He's been talking with his parents, but they offered to talk to the grandmother, and they haven't yet. So.

FoxPhile

At least he's doing something, and not trying to ignore it or act like she should just accept it.

WeBuiltThePyramids

He is doing something, but if he thinks the rest of their lives is gonna be her having to sit there and take the abuse from his family and then he apologizes and talks to them later, he's got another thing coming.

FoxPhile

Hopefully he cares enough for her that he'll find a way to speak up when it happens. That may spark conflict - but it's more likely to effect change than waiting until afterwards does.

WeBuiltThePyramids

Yeah. In general both of them hating confrontation helps their relationship because they always talk things out and never go off into a shouting match. But she has way more spine than he does when it comes to standing up for people. She has gone round and round with some relatives who have given me crap for things.

FoxPhile

I went to a breakfast meeting for work today. It's been a year since I've been able to go to one of these quarterly meetings. I remember the breakfast being better.

WeBuiltThePyramids

I'm just not a fan of breakfast in general.

FoxPhile

I love breakfast. I eat breakfast for lunch and dinner.

WeBuiltThePyramids

Woke up at 8am on Friday, couldn't nap, worked 11pm-7am, was at a county swim meet from 10am-12:30pm, worked at the farm 1-4, slept 4:30-9, now it's 3:20am and I'm back at work, halfway through my 11-7 shift.

FoxPhile

Stayed up late last night watching Dr. Zhivago - but didn't finish. Went to sleep about 11. Woke up at 6am and felt like I was getting a cold. Made chicken soup for breakfast and sucked on a zinc lozenge - seems to have kicked it out, or else it was just allergies. Got caught up in two different work emergencies from 8:30 until just after noon. I should be doing laundry, but planning a nap now.