eternalfate

Not much to add to that besides I completely agree.
They were good for what it was, and Riley although made some mistakes [Like Angel and Spike] he truly did love her and that's what I wanted from Buffy. I believe if their relationship would have continued after that Into the Woods relationship, it would have grew for the better because they finally vented out what was wrong in their relationship, it was just too late.

starryeyesxx

I agree,had Riley stayed I think they would have been able to work out their problems after the were finally in the open - it just wasn't meant to be

But I did enjoy it while it lasted





i'm meaner than my demons

Tech Noir

I think at first Riley was on cloud 9, thinking he had hit the jackpot with Buffy as his gf. And although neither of them was abusive towards the other, I believe that in time the relationship was becoming toxic, mainly because it must have been hell for Riley to be head-over-heels totally in love with Buffy and to feel that the love wasn’t being reciprocated to the same extent, creating a lopsided relationship. It put Buffy in a tough place too; having to constantly reaffirm her love, which I’m sure eventually would have been frustrating for anyone.

I’m still on S5, and I can’t remember Riley’s appearance in S6, so I’m looking forward to that.

Butterfly85

I diagree. I don't see anything toxic about Riley/Buffy (that all Spike/Buffy) and I didn't see it as one sided ever. I believe Buffy did love Riley, she had deep feelings for him. You could especially feel it in the episode Riley left in. Riley was a great boyfriend to her and her best relationship considering what hell she went through with Angel and Spike.

Tech Noir

^When I made my observations about Buffy/ Riley, I wasn’t comparing him to anybody who had come before or after him. And my comment wasn’t about the whole length of their romance either, only about what was happening towards the end.
Like you, I believe that Buffy did truly love Riley. My issue was that he didn’t believe it (he clearly stated that to Xander in S5) and that was causing problems for them. And from what I witnessed during my rewatch, Riley’s insecurities within that relationship, towards the end of it, were taking a toll on him, causing him at some points to behave erratically (trying to keep his super strength even though it was killing him and the vamps sucking his blood for money). So all in all, I viewed Riley’s decision to leave Sunnydale as an act of self care. At that moment in time, feeling how he felt, it may have just been the best thing for him to do for himself.
Of course, it’s quite possible Buffy and Riley could have worked through their relationship issues if Buffy had arrived on time in the episode “Into the Woods.” She seemed to have figured his importance in her life, and she did miss him terribly in the episodes that followed.
It seems like you may have been a fan of their ship, and I can respect that you have your own interpretations on what went down with them.

I’m on a rewatch, btw… I’m binging hard, and soon I’ll forget what happened to who in what episode. However, I am looking forward to seeing them interact again in S6.

starryeyesxx

I think toxic is a bit of a strong word, but it was becoming unhealthy. At the end of the day, when you're in a serious relationship with someone & you start having problems in that relationship, it does take a big toll on you & can make you really unhappy - but you still love the person, so it's hard to know what choice to make next. It's normal, it's what happens in a lot of relationships, because it's hard to tell when you should end a relationship for your own good, or when you just need to put more work into it

Also, Riley had lost his whole purpose when he realized that the initiative was pretty much all a lie. He didn't know who he was or where he belonged, so I think that played a big part in it too.

Tech Noir

I guess the perspective I was coming from when I was viewing those episodes in S5 was that if I had been in his shoes and I was in a relationship that was stirring up my insecurities to the extent that I was engaging in risky, life-threatening behavior, I would personally consider it toxic.
However, I must say that after viewing much of S6, I can honestly say that the issues Riley and Buffy were facing paled in comparison to whatever she had going on with Spike in S6.

I cringed so many times for Buffy in the episode “As You Were.” First cringe: When Riley shows up at her job and the embarrassment of working in such an establishment hits Buffy, “I have a cow on my head.” Second cringe: When Buffy and Riley are in each other’s space, gazing into each other’s eyes, then Riley’s wife shows up and says, “What are you doing with my husband?” And that’s how Buffy finds out Riley is married. Third cringe: When Riley finds Buffy sleeping with Spike, who symbolized everything she hated.

Also a year after their separation, she seemed to have become the insecure one.

Buffy: You smelled the smell?
Riley: Buffy, none of that means anything. It doesn't touch you. You are still the first woman I ever loved and the strongest woman I have ever known. And while I'm not advertising this to the Mrs. you are still quite the hottie.
Buffy: ...You know, it goes away after many bathings

Loved these parting words by Riley: The wheel never stops turning, Buffy. You're up, you're down... It doesn't change what you are. You are a hell of a woman.

Butterfly85

I always loved Riley's words to her, so sweet and helped her get back on her feet and remember who she really is.

starryeyesxx

I love their last scene so much!

I think a lot of people just reduced Riley to a guy who had a problem with how strong Buffy was (when it was a hell of a lot more complicated & nuanced then that), but that last talk really proves that he did genuinely love her & will always admire her no matter what she goes through because he's seen who she really is

starryeyesxx

I'm the thing monsters have nightmares about

Butterfly85

Been rewatching the series and I still love Riley and Buffy together. They were ride or die for each other and so cute together as well. I do believe Buffy loved Riley by her actions and what she said to him in S5 when she found him in the caves and tried to get him to go to the hospital. She also wanted him to stay in Sunnydale but didn't reach the helicopter in time. He came back married and she was still not over him. I'm glad his last words to her were a huge catalyst to her ending her sick, abusive relationship with Spike. I also loved their first love scene and that she was able to wake up to him after only having experiences with waking up alone after Angel and Parker. I also loved them in WTWTA when they couldn't keep their hands off each other. I'm glad Riley was able to give Buffy a normal relationship that made her so happy. I wish they could of ended up together but no happy couples in BTVS.

starryeyesxx

Great to see some Buffy/Riley love!

I kinda agree about Buffy loving Riley, I felt like she was falling for him in s4, but I think the writers changed things in s5. They still had their moments, but I think the writers knew how they were gonna end it & headed straight for it

I love their scenes when he came back in season 6 too, I do think there was regret on Buffy's side about how things ended, & she was definitely hurt to see him with someone else

Butterfly85

I also forgot to say that Buffy also told Riley no one knows her as much as he does, and that she gave him her heart, body, and soul. I feel she showed with her words and actions she did love him. I agree there was regret about how things ended with him when he came back. I still think it was OTT to have him come back married though, it was a year or less than a year after he left Sunnydale. I think just a girlfriend would of sufficed but I guess it being his wife would hit Buffy harder.

starryeyesxx

Yeah, it was just way too rushed - especially as Sam said it took Riley a long time to get over Buffy. Say it was 6 months....a few months later he was ready to get married to someone else?! I just can't buy that....

eternalfate