[Deb D]

Credit to Eatyourgreens (Chris)

Hey there, you've reached the Anti-PJ Thread #33: The place where we put the fun into dysFUNctional.
If you don't like Pacey and Joey at all, if you were bored every time they started to fight and made amends at 8:55 pm, here's the place for you my friend!
But if you love them and think they were meant to be, you're more than welcome in PJ thread. I'm sure they will treat you right.
Since this is a place to kinda bash Pacey and Joey (with some sweetness!); don't post things like "I luv PJ, Dawson s*cks!" – It’s pointless, kinda old and does nothing to improve our mood!! Remember too:
- no character bashing outside the context of PJ, the couple
- no actor bashing
- no fics

Do you hate PJ? Check any of the following:
#1- When you see a turkey sub you laugh to yourself...even though everyone around you thinks you're nuts.
#2 - You watch Promicide over and over again, laughing the whole time.
#3 - The sight of boats makes you think of turkey sandwiches, and you comment that to your parents, and they have no idea what you're talking about, because they've never seen Dawson's Creek ever.
#4 - When somebody says 'I have a headache' you feel inclined to comment 'So... does that headache make you feel *alive*?'
#5 - Every time you see PJ on screen you start throwing things at the TV and screaming, unless it is Promicide or Love Bites.
#6 - When you watch the finale you mute the parts with PJ and turn it off after the wonderful "you and me always" scene with DJ.
#7 - In 2000, every Wednesday night at 8h55 pm, you got used to turn off your TV
#8 - You never thought you could hate a boat, yeah, a damn boat!!
#9 - When the words "I feel like I'm nothing" sounds like music to your ears...
#10 - When you waste your precious time making anti-PJ icons, parodies and conversations on the couch, just for the sick pleasure of making fun of them
#11 - When you want to yell at your gym teacher when she said pace yourself, Pace yourself b/c it makes you of when Joey used to call Pacey that all the time.
#12 - You get a little nervous anytime a guy offers to carry your bags for you
#13 - You insist on getting your own napkins at the movies
#14 - You don't read Hans Christian Anderson. Ever.
#15 - You never call pyjamas PJs
#16 - You play your own shots at mini-golf
#17 - When someone says 'I remember everything' or 'you make me feel alive' you have a strange and sudden desire to stab them in the eye
#18 - Smoochies and nookie are in no way cute or sweet terminologies.
#19 - You liked Aunt Gwen
#20 - You politely decline whenever anyone offers you a pop-tart or chocolate heart
#21 - You will never rent the movie Little Mermaid again.
#22 - Titanic is one of your fave movies b/c of the sinking boat and PJ boat sank Ha!
#23 - ‘Little Mermaid’ has no longer a special place in your heart
#24 - You’re so glad to avoid, at all costs, annoying baby voices with your boyfriend or girlfriend, because let’s face it: it sucks and it’s ridiculous! Get a decent voice!
#25 - When you thought that, at first, you wouldn’t feel it, like Joey, you realize that you feel something. Actually, it was a huge, monumental desire... of puking. That’s the reaction!
#26 - When you realize you prefer to tape the episodes of s4, just to fast forward, which by the way, was your savior for great part of s4 and some of s6. About s3? ‘Stop’ button was my best friend! XD
#27 - When you see that in all exaggerated cute scenes between Joey and Pacey, their voices suddenly became Charlie Brown’s teacher’s. Remember her? Blablablabla...well, sometimes Woodstock came too!
#28 - Lame, pathetic, stupid, fake and all its versions in another languages were current words used by you in seasons 3 and 4.
#29 - When a person gives you a chocolate heart after making love, say "I give you my virginity and all I get is a chocolate heart!"
#30 - You have never eaten spaghetti since 2003 and if you have caved in and eaten some you made sure you never threw at piece at anyone.
#31 - You believe that words and phrases such as 'banter', 'butterflies', and ‘true love' have been sullied and you use them with discretion.
#32 - You wish that Gail and Bessie had tag-teamed and taken out PJ in the kitchen.
#33 - Despite the reduction in the overall quality and premise of the show you found yourself enjoying season 5.
#34 - You find yourself losing patience much more quickly with someone's ongoing pity party.
#35 - When a guy offers you a pop-tart and you want to scream in despair.
#36 - When you see a couple fighting and automatically link them to PJ.
#37 - When you know that a Pacey-Joey kind of relationship is definitely what you would never want for yourself. Well, I have a spine and want to keep it, thank you very much.
#38 - When you know you would never have sex if a guy brought you napkins.
#39 - When you know that the first time can be awkward, but crying after that? It's a perfect sign it wasn't good at all!
#40 - You only watch PJ scenes when you need a good laugh, if you even watch them at all...
#41 - When you swear to yourself that you will never step foot inside a K-mart for the rest of your life unless you absolutely have to, like if your out of Napkins and pop tarts.

"Twu Wuv" Rules (courtesy of the guys at Project Soulmates and here at the anti-PJ thread)
#1. Always keep napkins handy.
#2. "I don't feel it" is a declaration of "Twu Wuv".
#3. Pacey banging any other chick but Joey is Pacey's attempt to get over Joey.
#4. D/J. Are. So. OVER! No, really. They are. Even though what they have goes beyond friendship, and is FOREVER, it's over. Like, for sure. Right?
#5. "Twu Wuv" can only be obtained by sneaking around peoples' (ie. best friend's) backs.
#6. You must insult each other on a daily basis and make up promptly at 8:50 p.m.
#7. You must argue for hours before you consummate "Twu Wuv".
#8. After you consummate "Twu Wuv", you must promptly lie about said consummation ever happening.
#9. Dawson is EVIL! He does not want "Twu Wuv" to thrive. He must be destroyed at all costs!
#10. You only run to your "Twu Wuv" after someone else who really loves you sends you to them.
#11. Even when closure has been seen by all, it is still hard for some delusional people to grasp it as being over. (ie. "Love Bites")
#12. In honor of "Twu Wuv", you must wait at least 3 weeks after breaking up before you kiss a soulmate.
#13. "Twu Wuv" makes you feel like nothing.
#14. You must stay with your "Twu Wuv" for a year, even when it's obvious they are making you miserable.
#15. In order to achieve "Twu Wuv" one half must belittle what one's soulmate means to them while the other suffers from selective amnesia.
#16. After consummating "Twu Wuv", your "Twu Wuv" must refer to themselves as the Neil Armstrong of the bunch.
#17. Remember that "Twu Wuvvers" bang each others' roommates/best friends while they're there (in spite of having not gotten over each other).
#18. When said roommate is not there, like, when she's, say, DEALING WITH A SEVERE EMOTIONAL PROBLEM IN REHAB, that's when you go back to sneaking with your "Twu Wuvver" behind her back.
#19. After hanging up the phone with "Twu Wuvver", when her soulmate swings by cuz he trusts you as a good friend, feel free not to say a word about your sneaking around, and instead take his money and invest it stupidly.
#20. After consummating "Twu Wuv" it is customary to feel like peeling off one's skin!!
#21. After running off with ones "Twu Wuv" for the summer, the first thing you think of when you return is when you will see your soulmate again!!
#22. Even when everything is perfect, being with your "Twu Wuv" doesn't feel right!
#23. It is customary to break up with one's "Twu Wuv" at fancy high school dance-type things.
#24. It is customary to kiss one's "Twu Wuv" when she either has feelings for someone else or she is on the rebound.
#25. A true sign of "Twu Wuv" is acting as though you never ever actually dated your "Twu Wuv".
#26. Before consummating your "Twu Wuv", you must talk to someone else to help make the decision for you.
#27. You must not consummate "Twu Wuv" because you truly want to; but because you feel threatened that if you don't, your "Twu Wuv" will sleep with someone else (ie. a girl in a hot tub).
#28. Your "Twu Wuv" must pressure you into consummating "Twu Wuv", because it's nine months and counting.
#29. When you're in "Twu Wuv", chocolate hearts is a great exchange for one's virginity.
#30. One must refer to their first time with their "Twu Wuv" as "nice". Yeah, you read correctly. Just "nice".
#31. When there is a serious problem that should be discussed with your "Twu Wuv"(ie. a pregnancy scare, or if you have been arrested), it is imperative that you never tell your "Twu Wuv" about said problem.
#32. Kissing someone to get out of a sexual relationship with someone else is an obvious sign of "Twu Wuv".
#33. To sustain "Twu Wuv", you must always bring up the name of your "Twu Wuv's" ex-lover whenever your relationship hits a wall.
#34. One will never achieve the big "O" with their "Twu Wuv".
#35. After consummating "Twu Wuv" one must proceed to chomp loudly on chips while asking their "Twu Wuvver" how they did in the sack.
#36. To hide one's feelings for ones "Twu Wuv" it is normal to enter into a sex pact with your "Twu Wuv's" soulmate's ex-girlfriend!!
#37. When your "Twu Wuv's" soulmate comes to rescue you from your boat, aptly titled "Twu Wuv", it is a good idea to refuse his help when he's there to save your life and just consider going down with the freakin' boat.
#38. When an ex-lover saves the life of your "Twu Wuv", don't even bother to thank them or even offer to help work off the debt of damages accumulated in saving said "Twu Wuv's" life.
#39. "Twu Wuv" is calling the one you "wuv" a dumbass.
#40. "Twu Wuv" is buying a wall. Flowers and candy are overrated.
#41. "Twu Wuv" is going after someone's soulmate even though you told them you wouldn't.
#42. "Twu Wuv" is being mauled along the side of the road.
#43. Running to the airport with your "Twu Wuv" to profess your love for others is a sign of "Twu Wuv".
#44. "Twu Wuv" is leaving behind your soulmate on the dock beside his house weeping after his parents' wedding to go on a three month boat trip with said "Twu Wuv", whom you THINK you may love, but you are not completely sure.
#45. A sure sign of "Twu Wuv" is remembering everything one minute and nothing the next.
#46. Dating your "Twu Wuv's" roommate is a sign of "Twu Wuv".
#47. When you are clearly in "wuv" with your "Twu Wuv", you make a move to kiss your soulmate.
#48. Having an affair with a married woman is a sign of "Twu Wuv".
#49. If your "Twu Wuv" attack-kisses you on a dance floor, to get out of an affair with a married woman, it is a sign of "Twu Wuv".
#50. When you're in "Twu Wuv", it is perfectly fine to have a spaghetti fight with your "Twu Wuv" when a close friend is dying. Screw the fact that it's completely insensitive!
#51. You must completely rewrite history so that a reunion with your "Twu Wuv" is possible.
#52. Kissing on a couch for two seconds means that you will be with your "Twu Wuv" forever, even though NOTHING is actually said (i.e. any sign of commitment) to back that up.
#53. Telling your "Twu Wuv" over and over that they're nothing more than friends to you really means that you "wuv" them romantically.
#54. Having only romantic flashbacks of the soulmates in the 100th episode was only to show that one half of the soulmates was really running from their "Twu Wuv" all the time.
#55. Sending your "Twu Wuv" to your roommate and not giving a rat's ass about it really means that you still want to be with your "Twu Wuv".
#56. Giving your best friend advice not to be with their soulmate while hitting on best friend's soulmate is a sign of "Twu Wuv".
#57. Making love to your soulmate 3 times in a row and being happy about it is a clear sign of missing being miserable with your "Twu Wuv".
#58. Hardly noticing that your "Twu Wuv" exists in season 1 and 2 really means you were running from your "Twu Wuv".
#59. "Twu Wuv" means getting locked up all night inside K-mart because one's "Twu Wuv" needed to buy condoms--to hook up with the chick sitting next to him at a party.
#60. It is "Twu Wuv" heaven to find oneself locked in a K-mart with ones "Twu Wuv", a place where we can find endless chips to chomp and napkins are a plenty. Ah, romance in a K-mart, who needs roses, cafe lattes or daisies?
#61. Carrying on an affair with your married employee while waiting for your "Twu Wuv" to dump her fiancé-to-be is a sure sign of "Twu Wuv".
#62. Telling your "Twu Wuv" you will meet him at his house late at night, then standing him up the minute another guy shows up to play "hide the salami" is unmistakeably "Twu Wuv".
#63. "Twu Wuv" means mauling your nearly engaged ex-girlfriend on the dance floor in order to get back at your married and soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend/ employee.
#64. "Twu Wuv" means going from one relationship to the next, over and over again.
#65. "Twu Wuv" means replacing one person on your couch for another in a matter of days.
#66. "Twu Wuv" is when after years of not seeing your "Twu Wuv", instead of spending some time alone with him to catch up, you go to sleep over at your soulmate's.
#67. "Twu Wuv" is when your "Twu Wuvver's" mother doesn't even know your name.
#68. "Twu Wuv" is when you call your "Twu Wuv" an idiot.
#69. "Twu Wuv" is when you're happy when your "Twu Wuv's" dreams don't come true.
#70. It is indeed "Twu Wuv" when you leave your "Twu Wuv" to be with someone else
#71. It's "Twu Wuv" when you tell your "Twu Wuv" that you love him while in the same sentence tell him that you still and always will love your soulmate.
#72. You can only be happy with your "Twu Wuv" when your friends, family, and your "Twu Wuv's" soulmate are not around.
#73. "Twu Wuv" is when you hide from your "Twu Wuvver" anything to do with your soulmate i.e. Presents, sex talks, peer recs, school projects....
#74. "Twu Wuv" is when everyone seems to be better off without the two of you around.
#75. Sex with your "wuvver" is guaranteed so long as you carry her napkins and bags for nine months first and oh it helps if you're also good at mini-golf.
#76. "Twu Wuv" is when you rent a wall for your "twu wuvver" to paint and then before they do, you deface it with a visual eyesore that is an ultimatum to your "twu wuvver".
#77. "Twu Wuv" is when you can't decide whether your "wuvver" is an asinine, immature child, or an arrogant infantile boyfriend.
#78. To be in "wuv" you must have such poor self-esteem that you constantly pick random fights with your "wuvver" to feel better about yourself.
#79. If #78 doesn't work constantly compare yourself and compete with your "wuvver's" soulmate.
#80. It's "Twu Wuv" when your "wuvver" comes up as the last person to contact in case of an emergency.
#81. "Twu Wuv" was just a damn boat - and it sank!
#82. If you're in "wuv" you will have two big problems: no money and lots of boredom. Yes, boredom despite all the smoochies.
#83. In "Twu Wuv" "kidding around" is code for having a fight.
#84. You must tell your "wuvver" about the 'nothings' but you keep secret the 'somethings.'
#85. Your "wuvver" knows the tone of your voice when you're about to start one of your frequent nasty conversations.
#86. After doing it call your "wuvver" 'woman' offer her a pop-tart, and interrogate her over your performance in the sack till she breaks down and cries.
#87. You do not touch your "Twu Wuv" after sex.
#88. Next time you have sex with your "wuvver" bring your thesaurus for the post-game wrap up. It's the best way to avoid a fight.
#89. In addition to #88 ask for a car after sex. Because did you know? Prizes are involved.
#90. “Twu Wuv” can also be defined as a shallow, insipid, cloying, sickly sweet, puddle of smoochies continually plagued by insecurity, comparisons, jealousy, selfishness and endless ramblings filled with self-pity; all occasionally interrupted by spaghetti throwing, napkin holding, window wiping, chip munching, milk guzzling and bedtime reading.
#91. It's "Twu Wuv" when you refer to your "twu wuv" and her soulmate as Romeo and Juliet and say that they deserve their chance.
#92. "Twu wuv" is when you practically beat up your "twu wuvver" on the side of the road after he mauls you with his chip stuffing hole.
#93. When hugging your "Twu Wuv" feelings of nausea often are immediately triggered. This is because 'feeling alive' can also be loosely translated as 'feeling sick' (the morning-after sex face also confirms this). When this occurs avert your head away from the shoulder of your "wuvver" so that you don't cover him in puke. You cannot always be sure that he's carrying napkins. Remember, napkins are generally reserved for greasy movie hands.
#94. To achieve "Twu Wuv”, CRY ME A FREAKIN RIVER.
#95. You should never take romantic advice from a guy who has spent his evening trying to get three snails to sleep with each other. If it's "Twu Wuv" you'll date him.
#96. It's "Twu Wuv" when you can't give a reason for your "wuvver" to stay but you can ask your soulmate to stay.
#97. When you're in "wuv" you are scared of that part of your "wuvver" that will always belong to her soulmate. That part of her heart that will always want her first time to be with him.
#98. Decribe sex with your "wuvver" as 'nice'. Describe a kiss with your soulmate as 'one of those moments where you check your status as a mere mortal and achieve, however briefly, true greatness'.
#99. Remember that when your "wuvver" uses the phrase 'the whole world', she is actually always referring to Dawson, her soulmate.
#100. Tell your "Twu Wuv" that her soulmate is her past, present, and future.
#101. When you're in "wuv" always remember to wear your "happy mask."
#102. When your "wuvver" touches you, flinch and keep eating.
#103. Dawson is "Twu Wuv's" personal kryptonite.
#104. Being in "wuv" makes you feel like you are really simply your "wuvver's" little charity project.
#105. It's “Twu Wuv” when you tell your “wuvver” every part of you loves him and then the next day tell your soulmate he will always have a piece of your heart.
#106. “Twu Wuv “is not applicable to just a couple. More accurately it is a term for a threesome. Dawson is always part of “Twu Wuv” because “wuvvers” can't function without him. He is central to their world. He is a constant benchmark for comparisons (for both parties). The “Twu Wuv” story begins and ends with him. Always.
#107. “Twu Wuv” is when you accuse your “wuvver” of wanting to sleep with her soulmate and not you.
#108. “Twu Wuv” is when you tell your “wuvver” you want to try life on your own for awhile and then hook up with another girl all summer.
#109. Don’t offer your “Twu Wuv” your hotel room so that she doesn’t have to sleep outside. Rather leave her there and go and have sex with her roommate.
#110. When you’re in “Twu Wuv” act like you couldn’t care less about your “wuvver’s” recent mugging. Instead keep flirting with your “wuv’s” roommate.
#111. Drag your “wuvver” along to a party and pass her off as your sister so you can crack onto the girl next to you. That's "Twu Wuv" people.
#112. It’s “Twu Wuv” when you set your friend up with your “wuvver” because you only love him in the simplest way.
#113. You’re “wuvver” isn’t choosy about the location for your first time. He just wants to do you.
#114. From the beginning to the end of “Twu Wuv”, you must get punched for making moves on other women - women who aren’t your “Twu Wuvver.”
#115. It is customary to tell your “Twu Wuv” after having 'the time of your life' that your “Twu Wuvver” is starting to get on your nerves.
#116. “Twu Wuv” is when you tell your “wuvver” you’re going to break their face if they break your roommate’s heart (who cares about yours right?).
#117. Threatening your "twu wuv" numerous times over the years, including 'slit throats', 'deer ticks', and a 'screwdriver to the temple', is a clear sign of "twu wuv".
#118. Twu Wuv is when you let go of you twu wuv's hand right when you see your soulmate.
#119. Twu Wuv is when you won't remember your twu wuv from the new year but only her roommate who you were sleeping with.
#120. Never get involved with a monster from beneath the sea, no matter how charming. "Twu Wuv" is... just not gonna work.

Songs
The Ballad Of Pacey and Joey
Joeeeey, for so long I wanted to be your soulmate
But you’ve alreeeeady had one, it’s hiiiim, Daaawson Leeery (damn Dawson Leery)
You told me:
(Joey's cute annoying voice) Don’t worry sweetie, he’s a part of my past
But it’s a damn lieeee
Chorus:
I was the one who prevented your greasy hands, (greaaaasy hands) <=- backvocals
I was the one who gave you chocolate hearts (chocolate chocolate) ^^
I ripped your dress, I gave you dead flowers, but you didn’t care and I wanted you to care...(I would add a remix here, with him yelling I wanted you to care)
I was your little Neil Armstrong but you don't love me and don't want me!!
Don't know what to do!! So I do the simplest thing...it's all the fault of Dawson!!!! ohh yeahh!
Insecurity! (insecurity) Jealousy! (jealousy) and Self-Pity (pity, pity)
All these emotions make me feel aliiiiiivvvvvveeeeeeee yeah heah
Chorus
I was the one who prevented your greasy hands, (greaaaasy hands) <=- backvocals
I was the one who gave you chocolate hearts (chocolate chocolate) ^^
I ripped your dress, I gave you dead flowers, but you didn’t care and I wanted you to care...(I would add a remix here, with him yelling I wanted you to care)
I bought you a wall, yeeaah a wall
A little mound of bricks for you to paint on (paint on)
Then I destroyed the wall, yeah that wall
With my big red ultimatum (ultimatum)
Bridge
Ooops, I did it again, stuffed up time and time again.
Now I’ve gone and done it
You can’t paint there anymore
Must simply run and stuff my face with chips and drink milk from the carton
(Yeah, straight from the carton)
Chorus
I was the one who prevented your greasy hands, (greaaaasy hands) <=- backvocals
I was the one who gave you chocolate hearts (chocolate chocolate) ^^
I ripped your dress, I gave you dead flowers, but you didn’t care and I wanted you to care...Yeah I wanted you to care {Joey: You can go to hell} But I wanted you to care {Joey: I said you can go to hell} Hey I wanted you to care... (fade)

Capeside Pain
I'm coming, I'm coming home to you
With a bag full of chips
Can't wait to get home to you
and drink a carton of milk

I really never thought about my dreams
Counted only on you to feel free
Actually I had a boat years ago
And yeah, it sank indeed

Sick me, sick me... siiiick me oh yeah
Nothing sickens me like you do
Nothing sickens me like you do

And when somebody touches you
Well, there’s no better time to flinch than that
And when somebody tries to smooch you
Well, a turkey sub is better than that

Sick me, sick me... siiiick me oh yeah
Nothing sickens me like you do
Nothing sickens me like you do

And when at the prom, you yelled at me
I thought "No, not again"
And then I just lost my spine
Nothing more than the Capeside Pain

Nothing more than the Capeside Pain
Nothing sickens me like you do
Feels like nothing or don't feel it at all
Nothing sickens me like you do
Our love just sank like that boat
Nothing sickens me like you do
Throwing pasta isn't a sign of love
Nothing sickens me like you do

Feels Like Hell
Something in your eyes make me wanna puke to your face
Makes me wanna puke to your face in the boat
There's something in your voice makes my brain blow out
Hope this torture ends, the rest of my life

If you knew how disaster my life has been
And how long I've been so miserable
And if you knew how I wanted someone unlike you
And don’t ruin my life the way you've done

It feels like hell to me, it feels like hell to me
It feels like you’re dragging me in a world where I don’t wanna go
It feels like hell to me, it feels like hell to me
It feels like you’re dragging me in a world where I don’t belong

A volcano eruptions, a storm comes up,
And an earthquake shock
But I'll survive, 'cause I don’t have you anymore
And I can see, there is still hope for me

Well, if you knew how much you drive me crazy
And how long I've waited to come to an end
And if you knew how unhappy you are making me
I never thought that I'd hate anyone so much

It feels like hell to me, it feels like hell to me
It feels like you’re dragging me in a world where I don’t wanna come
It feels like hell to me, it feels like hell to me
It feels like you’re dragging me in a world where I don’t belong

Limerick by Deb
There once was a couple named PJ
Who never had anything real to say
They lied and they fought
Ate more than talked
And never had a real lay.

Conversations on the Couch
(or Everyday with P and J)
(or Moments when you feel like nothing or you feel nothing at all)
Joey: Pacey what do you want for dinner.
Pacey: A bag of chips would be fine.
Joey: Pacey would you like something to drink?
Pacey: Just hand me the milk carton.
Joey: Were going to a fancy social event tonight.
Pacey: Just hand me my khaki pants.

Joey: I just got off the phone with Dawson and we were talking about this one time...
Pacey: Is this how it's always going to be? Always talking about you and Dawson. God Joey you make me feel like nothing. When do I get to be your soulmate?

Pacey: Do you want to make love tonight? Joey: I'm sorry but you didn't bring me napkins when we were eating dinner.

Joey: I'm home, Pace can you help me bring in my bags?
Pacey: I'm watching my soaps, and I gotta see how J.T. talks his way out of this one 'cause Colleen was about to kill him.

Pacey: Jo, I've been wanting to ask you this for months...Will you marry me?
Joey: I'm sorry Pace, I just don't feel it anymore.

Pacey: Damn it, I burned the risotto. Do you know who's responsible for this?
Joey: Pacey, I won't start this nasty conversation again... it's the third time this week you say it's Dawson's fault. First you fell from the couch, second you cut your finger and now the risotto???
Pacey: But it is his fault! He's here... telling me I'm not good enough... you know Joey, I'm a man who hates himself so much that... I... Joey? Joey? Are you sleeping?

Joey: Ugh, that was the worst day at the work, Pacey, I mean, my boss said to me: 'your project is really wonderful, but we need some changes'. What am I going to do??
Pacey: Oh... THAT's your problem? You know Potter, I have several bills to pay to keep the restaurant and who gives a damn for me, the black sheep, the clown of Capeside, because you know, I'm a man who hates himself so much, that...
(Pacey's voice now transforms into Charlie Brown's teacher...remember her? "blablabla... blabla...")
Joey (thinking): oh dear Lord, not again...

Joey: Pacey I just got a letter from Dawson. He just met a new girl. He says they connect in a way that he only thought I could connect with him.
Pacey: [Stands up from the couch]
Joey; Where are you going?
Pacey: Well, I never thought this would happen, but I gotta go. They could break up soon! Maybe he'd ask me to look after her, and then...I could steal her.

Joey: (re: The Creek) That was perfect.
Pacey: (moodily) You think it's more perfect than me!
Joey (thinking) Oh god, he's going into another one of his self-loathing speeches.
Pacey: I know even though I own my own restaurant and have a girl who looks strangely like Katie Holmes, my life sucks so much.
Joey (thinking) God, I wish I'd picked Dawson.

Pacey: You just don't want to admit the obvious! You LOVE him!!
Joey: I do not. Why are you saying this again? I don't wanna see you now, time to go.
Pacey: No, no... look at your watch, it's almost 8:55pm. Remember what we do at that particular time?
Joey: Well, since in my clock it's still 8:54pm, you can go to the hell

Pacey: So how was I last night?
Joey: You were nice, but I've had better.
Pacey: You mean Dawson?
Joey: Well since you did bring it up...
Pacey: I'm so tired of having to compete with Dawson, I'm never going to win am I?
Joey: Gosh Pacey I'm not a damn trophy.

Pacey: Hey Jo, I thought that maybe we could drop life here for awhile and go on vacation together....ya know that big boat I bought last summer.
Joey: Let me call Dawson first.
Pacey: For what?
Joey: Duh Pace. I have to get permission.

Joey: Hey Pace what are you watching on TV?
Pacey: There's this really HOT 40year old woman.
Joey: (whispers) I should've known.
Pacey: What's that suppose to mean?
Joey: It means Pace, you're still Pacey Witter Friend to Older Women.

Pacey: You're not jealous? It's weird to meet everyone again and...
Joey: What are you talking about? Why would I be jealous of that blonde with Dawson? I mean, it's not my fault that I dropped all wine in her dress and if she was offended that I called her swallow...
Pacey: Actually I was talking about Audrey and I...
Joey: oh ...you were there too, right?

Joey: Look Pace, I know you're hurt because of my behavior towards Dawson's new girlfriend, but she's a bi... well, you have to believe me, Dawson and I, we...we're in the past, he makes me feel like I'm 15 and...
Pacey: Joey?
Joey: What sweetie?
Pacey: What do you think about new excuses? Because these ones you used years ago and I ended up yelling at you in our Prom, so...
Joey: okay, fair enough, the point is... the point is... I chose you because you brought me napk...wait, I already used that too... *thinking* *thinking* *thinking* can I try later?

Joey: Look Pacey, now that we're together, could you please stop writing in my blank canvas? I really want to paint on them... are you listening to me? Get your face out of this bag of chips!

Pacey: Are you mad at me?
Joey: Yeah, I am... you have to stop with those comparisons, you're not going anywhere with these.
Pacey: Ok, but now that you mentioned, right now, are you more angry with me than you were with Dawson?
Joey: Pacey...shut up!

Pacey and Joey are on the couch, after a twu wuv moment. Dawson's show is on TV.
Joey: Wow, that was perfect!
Pacey: Oh yeah, I know... a mind-blowing, transcendent moment
Joey: Dawson really knows how to tell our story
Pacey: Whaat? I thought you were talking about our ...you know... private moment
Joey: Oh, that? Well, it was nice... Pacey? You're a little purple...Paceyyy? Are you okay? Are you having an attack?

Pacey: So Jo, how do I look?
Joey: (long gaze at him with that tilted head and half-closed eye look she used to give Pacey) Ah, nice. You look nice Pace.
Pacey: Nice?
Joey: Yes.
Pacey: Just nice, huh?
Joey: What's wrong with nice?
Pacey: Nothing wrong with nice. Nothing wrong with great, either. Hell, there's nothing particularly offensive about mind blowing or transcendent.
Joey: Sorry, Pace, I left my thesaurus at home. I didn't know I was going to get yelled at for my vocabulary.
Pacey: Oh, I'm not too worried about your vocabulary.
Joey: What are you worried about?
Pacey: Jo I just really want to know what you think of me. I mean have I still got it?
Joey: Got what?
Pacey: You know. The roguish good looks...
Joey: Well...Pace. You could cut back on all those chips and turkey subs.
Pacey: What?!
Joey: And that milk you keep guzzling from the carton? Here's a tip, try low-fat.
Pacey: Huh? but I'm hot and girls love me....
Joey: And those chocolate hearts that appear after sex....try sharing them once in awhile instead of stuffing your own face with them.
Pacey: I don't understand...
Joey: And you know, I've said I think your "wuv" handles are cute, but really nah, not so much.
Pacey: What are you saying?
Joey: I know you keep wearing all those oversized jackets like in you did when we were dating in high-school to hide the weight but it's really not working. And you know, for someone with such a low sense of self-worth, you are starting to get a big head. Pacey: A big head? Nooooooooo! Dawson's the one with a big head. I mean, look at his forehead. Jo, gimme a break.
Joey: Hah! Forget forehead. Have you looked in the mirror and seen how full your WHOLE face is? Sorry Pace, you have to accept that Dawson really is a Leo. You on the other hand...well that's just say that that sea creature mask might be an improvement for awhile.
(long pause)
Pacey: Jo?
Joey: Yeah Pace?
Pacey: Ya know, now that I think about it your first answer was fine. Nice was good. I mean there's nothing wrong with nice now is there?
Joey: See when it comes to you and me Pacey, nice really is the safest response whenever you consider the alternatives.

Pacey: (chuckles to himself)
Joey: What are you laughing at?
Pacey: Oh, I was just remembering how we used to call Dawson Oompa Loompa when we were kids.
Joey: I don't remember calling him that.
Pacey: No, well, you didn't.
Joey: The Oompa Loompas are from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory right?
Pacey: Yeah
Joey: (laughs)
Pacey: Yeah, was a good one wasn't it.
Joey: No, I'm not laughing at that.
Pacey: What then?
Joey: It's nothing really.
Pacey: Come on Jo.
Joey: Well you remember Augustus that little kid in the movie who kept eating everything?
Pacey: Yeah (slowly)
Joey: Well, umm he used to remind me of you Pace. (pause) Still kinda does actually.
Pacey: Are you kidding?!
Joey: Look what you're eating right now. Let's see:
turkey sub, check
chips, check
pizza, check
chocolate hearts, check
pop-tart, check
milk, check
Pacey: But, Jo, that's kinda harsh!!
Joey: Shhh sweetie. Don't talk with your mouth full. You're making a mess.
Pacey: You got a napkin?
Joey: For you, always.

Pacey: Okay, that was reeeally good, wasn't it?
Joey looks a little bit uncomfortable, and then a smile comes to her face. She catches a book under the couch, opens and starts to look quickly. She takes a deep breath, turns to Pacey with her melty-wax smile.
Joey: It was incredible, unbelievable, unimaginable, unthinkable; extraordinary, phenomenal, rare, sensational, spectacular; singular, uncommon, unique, unusual, unwonted; conspicuous, notable, noticeable, outstanding, remarkable; impressive, striking; animating, energizing, enlightening, enlivening, exciting, galvanizing and....entertaining!
Pacey: What? Entertaining???
Joey: Pacey, I said all these...
Pacey: Entertaining????
Joey: For the love of God, Pacey, I just read the entire thesaurus and you still aren't satisfied?

Pacey: Joey, remember the other day, when you're trying to say the reasons you chose me?
Joey (uncomfortable, melty wax-face coming): Yeeahh...
Pacey: And?
Joey: You know Pace... I was thinking... what about some "Little Mermaid" reading or some "throw me spaghetti" game, huh? They would make me feel sooo aliiive...

Pacey: You know Jo, sometimes when I’m with you, I get thirsty for milk.
Joey: Really? I feel the same way!
Pacey: Really?
Joey: Yea! Except I put rum and some tequila in my milk, especially after our "mind-blowing" morning afters. *nods*
Pacey: Hey! You used the thesaurus I got you for your birthday.

Pacey: Hey Joey! Why are you laughing at? Who was on the phone?
Joey: Ha, ha, ah…it was Dawson. I called him to talk about a scene from last episode and then we had this amazing mind-blowing conversation. Three hours! Wow!
Pacey: So are you saying that your conversation was mind-blowing? Words with him are mind-blowing???
(He’s a little bit purple)
Joey (noticing she messed up): But sweetieee, c'mere. Look, Dawson and I, we're just childhood friends and...
Pacey: not working!
Joey: He never inspired me...
Pacey (angrier): NOT. WORKING!
Joey (runs to the kitchen): I'll bring some spaghetti...!

Joey: come on Pacey Dawson's show's going to be on soon. Last week's episode was epitomised every paragon there is. Really perfect.
Pacey: (coming in) what did you just say?
Joey: Last week's episode was perfect?
Pacey: no, no you used big words! They were in the thesaurus I gave you weren't they?
Joey: I, uh...
Pacey: How many times do I need to tell you that you can't use words like that about anything associated with Dawson? Especially from the thesaurus I gave you! It makes me feel bad!
Joey: (running out of the room) napkins, pop tarts, spaghetti...

Joey: (reading an e-mail) Aww
Pacey: what? (He walks over to her)
Joey: I just got this E-mail from Dawson. I was complaining about something and he knew just what to say to make me feel better. He knows me better then anyon-
Pacey: hey! He had his turrrrn. Joeeeeeeeeeey It's my turn to know you better remember? My turn started 2 weeeeeeeeks ago!

Joey: Pacey, I think we should spend some time in Capeside, you know?
Pacey: Really? To do what?
Joey: Well, to do what we used to do when we lived there... remember the old times?
Pacey: Joey, we can do this here. What do you want to do first? Talk about Dawson or fight and make up at 8:55pm?

Joey: Pacey, could you shove over? Actually just stand up for a minute.
Pacey: (standing) what’s wrong?
Joey: It's just not comfortable. The sofa cushions are sitting all funny...hang on. No wonder. Look at the stuff that's fallen back here.
Pacey: Oh yeah, pop-tart (grabs it and starts to eat)
Joey: Ooh, that's so gross.
Pacey: Hang on there's an old packet of chips here as well.
Joey: Yuck, a melted chocolate heart...a crushed milk carton...some golf balls...and one of your condoms of hope.
Pacey: wonder if it stills works...
Joey: Oh and here's what has been the real problem...I wondered where these had gotten to.
Pacey: What? What's down there?
Joey: It's your sense of self-worth...oh, and my spine.
Pacey: Well, now that we've recovered those two items...
Joey: Yeah, umm see ya. I guess twu wuv has sunk well and truly this time.

Pacey: Joey, you’re the first one to make me feel like that, you know?
Joey: Oh really? What about Tamara?
Pacey: Yeah, but what I’m saying is that Tamara didn’t challenge me the way you do. You were the first to...
Joey: Umm...Andie seemed to challenge you, right?
Pacey: Yeah, er...well...
Joey: It seems I wasn’t the first in anything. Why did I do first, Pacey?
Pacey (thinking to himself): Should I say she was the first one who made me feel like nothing?

Pacey: Jo, all these years I’ve been loving you. Ten years…
Joey: Ten years? You hated me back then, Pacey
Pacey: Yeah, oh, no… I didn’t hate you Joey, I’ve had these feelings…
Joey: You said you didn’t have interest in my life Pacey! Plus: you were infatuated by Tamara!
Pacey: Ok, so I think I’ve been loving you for nine years?
Joey: You’ve dated Andie for a year!
Pacey: All right, all right… eight…
Joey: If you consider the time I made you feel like nothing…
Pacey: All right, all right… six…
Joey: When you dated Audrey and all those women…
Pacey: Well, in my defence, I have to tell that I’ve never brought napkins for them or let them win in mini-golf!
Joey: You’re not getting anything tonight, Pacey… give up!
Pacey (thinking): What? Man, this used to work…

Joey: Hi Sweetie. I'm home; I'm glad that this day is over!! It was so hard; I have to tell you something. Today my boss...
Pacey (angry): Wait, Wait! You can't do this again!
Joey: Can't do what??
Pacey: My soulmate and I we're having this special moment. Don’t ruin it! (Looks down at his turkey sandwich) Babe I’m going to eat you now but please never forget that I love you I always have!! You and me always!! (Starts to cry) Joeeeeyyyy!!!!
Joey (thinking): Oh no not again (runs out for some napkins)

Pacey: Joey I can't believe you did this....
Joey: Pace...I....
Pacey: It was bad enough my real true love cheated on me and I didn't forgive her and then when my twu wuv dumped me at a school dance I decided to forgive her for unexplainable reasons, but this Jo, this is unforgivable.
Joey: Pace...let me...wait a minute, it isn't 8:55 I don't have to apologize for something I didn't do, what the hell are you talking about?
Pacey: You ATE my turkey sub!

The Original Final Moments of True Love (Liz and Nic)
Joey: I think I'm in love with you and your sub.
Pacey: You think or you know...?
Joey: I know. I've known it since the moment you gave me a bite out of your sub and maybe even before that, when you first talked about turkey subs. And as delicious as it is, I don't want to deny it anymore Pacey. I don't want to run from it and I don't want to let it run from me.
Pacey: So what are we going to do here Jo?
Joey: I want to come with you and your sub.
Pacey: What? Are you crazy? No one shares my sub!
Joey: Well Stupid said I have to stop standing still, I have to move forward and that means sharing your sub.
*Paul Stupid squees in the background*
Pacey: What about Bessie and the B & B? They need you.
Joey: Not as much as I need your sub Pacey. And oh yeah I need you too.
*He smiles at her, she smiles back, looks at the sub with hungry eyes, she begins to climb aboard when Pacey stops her*
Pacey: Uh uh!
Joey: Permission to share your sub and come aboard?
Pacey: Permission granted.
*The boat sails off, Stupid squeeling in the background and we fade out to a sillouette of a turkey sub.*

PS making "True Love" into Joey's boat (a.k.a. contrived pile of crap)
PS: *drooling over a picture of a sailboat*
Other writers: Paul what is wrong with you?
PS: I had this great idea...wheeeeee...
Other writers look at him strangely, afraid to ask: What idea?
PS: Looook. *he shows them the picture*
Other writers: Uh yeah.
PS: True Love!
Other writers look at each other in confusion: Okay....
PS: I was once in love with my boat...oooooooooooooooooooooo....we should name Pacey's boat that.
Other writers: We already did that....
PS: Oh yeah...the boat for Joey....
Other writers: No Andie....
PS waves hand in dismissal: It's for Joey now. *spins around in chair* wheeeeee!

Pacey's Proposal (Deb)
Pacey: (mumbling cause his mouth is full of chips) So, umm Jo. It's been 9 months and counting since we hooked up on Jen's deathbed.
Joey: (slowly) yeah...
Pacey: Well, I was wondering if we should get hitched. What do you think of my idea?
Joey: Umm, it's ahhh nice I guess.
Pacey: Nice huh? Just nice?
Joey: Well Pacey, I didn't know I was going to get attacked on my word choice. I thought the thesaurus was just for sex, not marriage proposals.
Pacey: Just think about it ok...
Joey: You know I will need to call Dawson first.
Pacey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: It’s just that I feel that I need him to release me in these kind of issues.
* some hours later after a long and emotional talk to Dawson who wasn't the heck sure why Joey was ringing so at the end said good-bye not good-night (well, it was a morning call) which Joey now interprets as permission to go ahead with Pacey*
Pacey: So Jo, now you've got Dawson's permission, will you um, marry me? (Holds out a brown paper bag.)
Joey: Oh, Pace. You've bought the ring already!?
Pacey: Erm, well you know what I think of diamonds on you Joey. They're too tasteful, elegant and sophisticated. You're a simple kind of gal so…(Opens bag with a flourish) pop-tart?
Joey: Wow, how umm, nice?!
*howl of rage and tears from Pacey who turns away and starts eating a turkey-sub*
*scene fades*

Reasons why Joey will only ever be Pacey’s Twu Wuv because a turkey sub is Pacey’s true love and soulmate: (animation thanks to Cris)
- A turkey has a spine
- A sandwich KEEPS you alive (much more real than any 'feeling alive')
- Joey used to simply say 'Bite Me'. With a turkey sub you can!!!
- Every part of the turkey sub is yours. Dawson doesn't even get the mayo
- It doesn't take nine months to decide you're ready for a turkey sub
- A turkey sub will always provide you with a reason to stay.
- A turkey sub is delectable, delicious, divine, heavenly, luscious, scrumptious... never 'nice'.
- All the meats fit together nicely
- They have more sparks together than Pacey and Joey
- They are delicious and yummy, Pacey and Joey, NOT!
- A turkey sub is always completed unlike the wall Pacey brought for Joey
- The Sandwich has no Soulmate it's completely yours!!
- With the Sandwich there's no Love Triangle (or yes it could be with the Milk)
- Then you have your own little charity project! (You can help the sandwich when you eat it)
- A turkey has no soulmate and smallish feet
- He wouldn't have to worry about any back talking with the sandwich!
- A sandwich doesn't need to ask anybodies permission to be his.
- A turkey sub is happy to stay in Capeside for the rest of its shelf life
- A turkey sandwich doesn't care if your tear a hole in its dress(ing)
- A turkey sub never has to be jealous over another sub (say a roast beef).
- A turkey sub brings its own napkin
- You don't need to impress a turkey sub at mini-golf
- A turkey sub has the decency to leave you once and for all if it makes you feel sick
- You don't need pop tarts or chocolate hearts after you've had a turkey sub

Comparisons between DJ and PJ
Pacey:Could you ever love me like that?
Joey:Like what?
Pacey:Like a soulmate.
Joey: Pacey, please don't make me do this.

Joey: I love Dawson.He's my soulmate.
-----------------------------------------------------
Pacey:Ask me to stay
Joey:I can't do it, Pacey. I can't give you a reason to stay.

Joey: Dawson....I want you to stay.
-----------------------------------------------------
Dawson:It's because from that day forward, I realized that you hadn't been my friend for... maybe quite some time, 'cause the second you made us competitors—
Pacey:That I made us competitors? No. No. Now--now you're rewriting history, Dawson.

Pacey:How can a guy compete when the two of you have your own karaoke?
(So,who's rewriting history?)
------------------------------------------------------
Pacey: You make me feel like nothing.

Dawson: She’s my…everything.



Credit to Nagi

Reasons Why a Boat is such a great symbol of PJ's Wuv
1. Dawson and Joey had the boat thing WAY before, rowing to each others houses for years.
2. Andersen took Joey out on a yacht way before Pacey.
3. On PJ's first boat trip, Pacey forgot to tie up the boat which meant they both ended up wet and freezing.
4. Pacey named the boat for his love for Andie.
5. Pacey and Andie had sex on the True Love
6. The Potter B&B sponsored Dawson's boat in the regatta. Not Pacey's.
7. Pacey wasn't going to stay even if Joey asked him to by the end of season 3. He just wanted to get away in that same boat.
8. Joey ended up going on the boat because Dawson told her to go.
9. They never had 'nookie' on the boat
10. They only had separate hammocks on the boat. Not the shared double bed of DJ.
11. Their 'exciting' activities on the boat consisted of Pacey reading childhood stories to Joey.
12. These same stories put Joey to sleep very quickly.
13. The boat isolated them from reality and their family and friends.
14. When they returned to Capeside, there was no room for Pacey so he had to skulk back to the boat for awhile.
15. Joey wouldn't even sail with Pacey on the boat for it's last trip. Rather she stayed and worked on a project...with Dawson.
16. Dawson had to convince Pacey to leave the boat because there were people who loved him.
17. The boat sank.
18. Pacey was devastated when the boat sank. Joey...meh, not so much.
19. Pacey publicly humiliated Joey and dumped her on another boat.
20. When Pacey asked Joey if he were to ask the woman he loved to go sailing with him, Joey smiled and said 'you wouldn't have to ask.' You wouldn't have to ask because the answer is 'No, you freakin idiot. Look where you and boats have got me before.'
21. Not only did PJ not have sex on the boat, Pacey had sex with Andie beforehand and Melanie (the girl he quickly hooked up with after telling Joey he needed to be on his own for awhile) afterwards.

Fights Of Season Four (thanks Cris!)
* 401 Coming Home: Pacey doesn't like the fact that Dawson still has an impact on Joey's life, then he tried to order her around, she gets mad, they fight...she calls him asinine, immature... ha!

* 402 Falling Down: Dawson tells Joey that Pacey was failing in school. She confronts him, he talks about Dawson, she gets mad, and they fight again...

* 403 Two gentlemen of Capeside: Joey has to do a paper with Dawson, Pacey feels uncomfortable. They almost fight, but didn't have the proper time and since Pacey almost died, it wouldn't be very cool to fight... oh, forgot to mention that they haven't interacted that much, so probably that's the real reason why they haven't fought!

* 404 Future Tense: Joey is the 4th of her class, she's worried about her college future, Pacey laughs about that, she gets mad, and they fight one more freaking time!

* 405 A Family Way: Pacey decided to be ironic and says they have to stop smooching, because Joey would have stopped anyway. Joey gets mad, they fight again. She says that if he tries to manipulate her again she would do something bad... can't remember why, actually!

* 406 Great X-pectations: Joey and Pacey are bothered by Dawson and Gretchen... they almost fight, but Andie had a collapse, which finally was something more important then their little annoying fights
6)

* 407 Joey needs a peer recommendation from the person who knows her best. We all know who she thought about, right? She asks Dawson, who hasn't accepted it first. Then Pacey knows the true, starts to complain, Joey gets mad, they fight and you know the rest!

* 408 The Unusual Suspects: Miracle!! Miracle!! They hadn't fought!! Yay!! Well... you know, I think if they have two scenes in that episode!

* 409 Kiss-kiss Bang-bang: Pacey does better than Joey in her college meeting. She gets mad and jealous, try to humiliate him. They fight AGAIN! She cries and then they had those obnoxious smoochies... everything was perfect until Dawson and Gretchen kiss!

* 410 Self-Reliance: Joey was so damn jealous of Dawson, treats Pacey like trash, put him out of her house. Pacey's a smart guy, he figures out, confronts Joey, but suddenly he becomes dumb again and accept her lame excuses. Time for smoochies: 8h55 pm

* 411 The Tao of Dawson: Again, no fights! Yay! And yeah, they only had a scene in this episode!

* 412 The Te of Pacey: Pacey's birthday. Joey tries to be nice and throws a party. His mother keeps calling her Joanne, Pacey gets mad, Joey gets mad when she catches Dawson and Gretchen making out! Time for smoochies: 8h57 pm

* 413 Can't remember!

* 414 A Winter's Tale: Oh, the sex! haha After an amazing foreplay, filled with fights, crying, yelling and, why not?, a little bit of Dawson, Pacey and Joey finally had sex, after a whole declaration of love composed by napkins, grease hands, mini-golfs and these kind of stuff!

* 415 Four Stories: Oh, the morning after! With a not so pleasant face, Joey wakes up and remembers that, eew, she really had sex with Pacey Witter, who was expecting a gold medal for his performance. Instead of this, he received a "very nice", which in his mind sounded like a "F minus". He gets mad, she cries and you know the rest

* 416 Mind Games: Joey did have sex, but she didn't want the whole world (meaning Dawson) knows about this. So she lies, which makes Gretchen mad. She tells Pacey, who gets upset, but choose to not bring the subject.

* 418 and 419: no fights! No interaction either!

* 420 Promicide: The best fight ever! Pacey prefers the turkey sub. Bad sign for Joey. Everything was terrible, the ripped dress, the dead corsage, the trash limo... Pacey was tired of cutesy Joey. After seeing Joey laughing and smiling with Dawson, he couldn't take it anymore and humiliated her in front of everybody... "I feel like I'm nothing!"
After that, he realized what he did and went to talk to Joey. She was expecting an apology, but instead, he started to talk about how he hated himself and
She asks him to leave her alone... no smoochies this time!

Thread Title Ideas
Anti-P/J #_ Welcome to 'Condoms of Hope' P/J's very own Charity Organization.
Anti-P/J #_ She thought he was so unkissworthy
Anti-P/J #_ because we miss good old Pacey Witter
Anti-PJ #_ because twu wuv always comes back to napkins and window wipes
Anti-PJ #_ because twu wuv is smoochies after 8:55
Anti PJ- 'I hope a deer tick crawls in your ear and lays eggs' means you secretly love someone. Doy!
Anti PJ- Because even when everything's perfect... it just doesn't feel right. To us or to Joey. (Love Bites)
Anti PJ- B/c After one has poured one's heart out, you *have* to tell them to 'stop' (Love Bites)
Anti PJ- Twu luv is blaming your 'other half', to make yourself feel better (Failing Down)
Anti-PJ: Pregnancies? Dawsons? Insecurities? Whatever. Pacey brought her napkins!
Anti-PJ #_ DJ = Adorable banter. PJ = Threatening 'I’m gonna kill you' banter.
Anti-PJ # _ because breaking up at school dances is what twu wuv is about
Anti PJ - She chooses Pacey. Pacey kisses Joey. Joey calls Dawson.

Previous Thread Titles
Anti-PJ Thread #32: Nothing says 'twu wuv' like "I flinch when you come to touch me."
Anti-PJ #31 – Even Dr Phil can’t help them.
Anti-PJ #30 – Because Pacey didn’t know he was with Joey. Neither did we.
Anti-PJ #29 – Because EVEN Mother Nature hated them.
Anti-PJ #18-28 – Brilliant titles which we cannot remember. I do remember one was: “Cuz we enjoyed their 5 min of happiness each week. My ass.”
Anti-PJ #17-Because even without a hole in the sheet there was no big 'O.'
Anti-PJ #16-Because even when everything's perfect...it just doesn't feel right.
Anti-PJ #15- As Joey said, their whole theme was picking at scabs
Anti-PJ Thread #14 ~ "Ladders take you higher...boats, well they sink to the bottom"
Anti-PJ #13 ~ Dead snails, sinking boats...how are they for metaphors?
Anti-PJ #12-Pacey could watch his love sleep all night. Joey could too (with Dawson).
Anti-PJ #11 ~ Because Pacey would rather touch a turkey sandwich than touch Joey
Anti-P/Jthread#10: Pacey didn't need one more person to make him feel like nothing
Anti-P/J Thread #9 - Cuz with DJ: words lose meaning, with PJ: bring your thesaurus
Anti-P/J Thread#8- Cuz Dawson got forever and Pacey got a couch (ok and spaghetti too)
Anti-P/J Thread#7-As Joey said: Dawson's a Leo, Pacey's a sea creature from the deep
Anti-Pacey/Joey Thread #6 - "Like Joey Potter, we just don't feel it!"
Anti-Pacey/Joey #5 - Welcome to Joey Potter's Little Charity Project!
Anti-Pacey/Joey Thread 4: Because true love doesn't make you feel like nothing
Anti-Pacey&Joey thread #3: because true love was a damn boat...and it sank!
Anti Pacey&Joey thread#2: Nothing says 'true love' like "I don't feel it"
Anti Pacey&Joey Thread-Because Dawson is Joey's true love

Anti-PJ fanart courtesy of tigre86:
http://tigre86.tripod.com/antipj_fanart/

Take it away people!


Anti-PJ Icons by our Cris

[Deb D]

And just to repost the latest lecture:

Depending on your time zone, good-morning, good-evening or happy twilight! After an extended hiatus I am pleased that we have all re-grouped to continue our vague meanderings through the episodes of Dawson’s Creek that showcase the absolute absurdity of the notion that the Pacey Witter and Joey Potter story is an example of true love. Today we cast the spotlight on Show Me Love, the episode that followed The Longest Day and preceded The Anti-Prom. It aired on the 10th of May 2000 which means we are basically ‘celebrating’ its sixth anniversary. Those of you who used to regularly check in with the official site may remember the excitement of Liz and Holly, the writers of the fans’ Q&A column, at being allowed to write a one-off episode. There was some hype about great it was going to be. Mmmm. Okay.

It opens like many an episode, with a pan up from the Leery’s dock to the ladder and Dawson’s window, the curtains fluttering in the evening breeze, and into Dawson’s bedroom where said gentleman is sitting in the darkness. At first I merely assume he’s trying to hide from the wealth of crap writing and character assassination he’s going to have to wade (get it? Dawson WADE Leery. Lame? Okay.) through in this episode till we see that he’s staring at the childhood DJ painting by Aunt Wild Thing. At this point may I ask what exactly are Dawson and Joey meant to be wearing in this portrait? After closer examination, the best guess that I have is that they are wearing matching life jackets with embroidered love hearts. If this is the case (please dig out your old tapes and verify for me) the painting is another symbol showing that DJ have the means to survive ‘drowning’ but PJ, on the other hand, went down with the ship. Twice.
Fade to Joey scowling/staring (call it what you will) at the pile of rented rubble that Pacey has interpreted as ‘canvas’. Seriously, who’d have the hide to rent this thing out?! Obviously it is very affordable for Pacey. This hideous monstrosity of a wall has had more of a storyline than Jack at this point and speaking of Jack, I’m jack of seeing Joey staring at it through the last four episodes of season 3. It’s interesting (well, not really) that while Jo’s original mural was all about ‘possibility’, it’s clear that she’s all out of possibility when faced with this new challenge. Jo, why don’t you paint Dawson’s face again? (Hands up those of you who would have loved to see Pacey’s face when confronted with Dawson’s image on the wall? Mmmm. 100% of you. How surprising). It strikes me now that Joey’s artwork on the show included a bowl of fruit, Dawson, naked Jack, naked Devon (together their initials are DJ. I’m telling you EVERYTHING points to DJ.), Chinese symbols and images of the Leery family. Ummmm, Pacey? Where are you? Not only does she never draw you, she can’t even paint on a surface you provided. Yeah, twu wuv alright. Even more significant when you consider that typically a person’s creative outlets reflect their passions: Dawson and his many film versions of the DJ story; Joey and her art/writing featuring Dawson; and Pacey, well Pacey always ends up in the kitchen, so theory proven.

Do I even have to continue watching this episode? Can we all go home now? I will press on only because Dawson will later be angry and he’s scandalously attractive in such a state.
The episode’s opening montage of strangely upbeat angst continues on to Pacey hosing down the True Love with a sigh and a scowl. Don’t bother Pace. The whole thing is going to sink in a few months. Jen emerges from Casa Ryan looking grim when confronted by dopey Henry who has lost the power of speech and is holding a sign ‘Jen Lindley would you please forgive me?’ Translated: ‘I was sick of the boring triangle your friends are involved in and so tried to get you and me a storyline by feeling you up while Grams was out.’
Henry shows some signs of life on the appearance of Jen and feebly adjusts the sign a little higher. She turns and heads back straight inside (don’t do that! He’s still just outside – go far, far away) leaving Grams who has, along with Andie, Dawson, Joey, Pacey, gone through major character ‘developments’ in season 3, to grin at Henry conspiratorially and give him hope.

Back to Dawson, who makes me melt for a moment, he’s so broodingly good-looking when walking down the halls of CHS. He sees Pacey, tenses his jaw and keeps walking, leaving Pacey to disbelievingly shake his head reinforcing the pile of propaganda that the TPTB are shovelling down our throats: that Pacey is the wronged one and Dawson is simply ‘unbelievable’ in his ‘selfishness.’
For a moment I want to climb into my TV and slap Pacey’s smugly scowling head and send him, Hawaiian shirt and all, straight back to season 2. I then realise that the furniture polish in the house is getting to me.

The montage continues with Joey who is in an odd three layered top, grabbing her lunch tray and trying to find some place to eat. She firsts looks to Dawson (of-freaking-course) who meets her eyes and then turns away. Feeling the sting of rejection she looks to her second option, Pacey, who is mid-wiping his mouth, turkey sub clearly visible on his plate (If only we could watch these episodes together.) Joey then realises that if she sits with him, he’s going to eat her lunch too so ignores his wistful glance and keeps walking. Jack gives her a welcoming head nod which is negated by Andie’s death stare. Dawson, who can’t help himself, looks back at the love of his life, but Joey, overwhelmed with the difficulty of having everyone in love with her, turns and sits with two other people whose identities remain a mystery. We see no evidence of them apart from two other meals on her table. I like to think that it is Nellie Olsen and Warren Gerry. They’d be a good match.

Fade to Joey now crouched on the weed/broken-glass filled lot at the base of ‘her’ wall. (Is this the longest montage in the history of TV?) She is joined by Dawson, whose shirt and long pants are billowing out in the wind. I seriously think that if they had used them as sails in the boat race, the final result wouldn’t have even been close. Dialogue begins at last with a defensive Ms Potter:
You know what, if you came here to discuss me and Pacey, you're wasting your breath because…
My mind instantly fills the missing line with ‘…there is no me and Pacey.’
Dawson adds the other thing I’m thinking:
Pacey is the last person I want to talk about, trust me.
He continues: I came here to talk about us. I drift off into a daydream of a DJ centric episode and how great it would be to have 42 min devoted to DJ talking about, well, DJ. I then remember we have episode 712.
Dawson tells her he wants to rebuild, that he needs their relationship more than any other and suggests a walk, a picnic, a movie (Well seeing as how you’re asking: yes, yes and yes)…Joey is not sure that after everything that’s happened (which so far seems to be just the last 15 min of the previous episode) she can climb the ladder and watch a movie. She just wants to paint her wall.
Umm Jo, you DO watch that movie. You NEVER paint that wall. Why? You’re a DJer.
Dawson says Well, it's a free-standing invitation which cracks me up for some odd English reason because he’s squatting, she’s sitting and no one’s standing. He adds You know where I live. He walks off leaving Joey to stare and frown at her wall for the next 17 minutes. I’m not sure whether she’s confused about what to paint or trying to remember where Dawson lives. Home Jo, he’s your home!

Gail Leery gets the Leery Fresh Fish sign flag ready for Pacey’s boat. Turns out she promised him a month ago that they’d sponsor him in the Capeside Regatta. Mitch is uncertain of how Dawson will handle this information and when said son arrives on the scene Gail explains:
We needed the publicity, he wanted a sponsor. We thought the two of you would be doing it together, but with what's happened, we don't expect you'd want to do that.
Oh, so it was simply assumed that Dawson would co-sail a yacht? Let’s remember that fact shall we.

Dawson insists that he’s fine with it and will even take the banner to Pacey himself. He promptly heads to the marina and hands the banner to Pacey with a simple This is for you.
Pacey: Thanks. You know I could have come over and got this from your parents.
Dawson: It's no problem.
Pacey: Look, Dawson, if you want me to drop out of this race, you're gonna have to ask me yourself.
Okay, so see Pacey is the first to be antagonistic.
Dawson: Do whatever you want, Pace.
Pacey: I'm only doing this to help your mother.
Are we seriously meant to buy that Pacey of the seven seas is only going to sail his beloved boat to help out a restaurant?
Dawson: The way you helped Joey?
Okay, so it’s Dawson’s turn to be a snarky.
Pacey: Okay, you want to stay angry, stay angry, it doesn't really matter to me anymore. I'm just glad it's finally directed at the right person.
Umm excuse me?! Dawson came to you very politely all things considered. You were the first to stir the pot in this conversation, so don’t you dare say he’s choosing to ‘stay angry’ when you goaded him first Mr Witter. And what to you mean ‘finally’? He was understandably shocked and angry at Joey on that evening of TLD but he’s clearly moving beyond that. Mr Leery then says one of my favourite lines of the episode before walking away:
Dawson: Save it, Pacey. You know everyone else might buy this chivalrous, self deprecating crap. I don't. NEITHER DO I.
*Deb pauses DVD to give a standing ovation to Dawson.*

Bessie and Joey arrive at the pier where Joey’s having a sulk and refusing to serve pancakes at the race registration table. She says it’s too humiliating. (Bet it’s not as humiliating as being yelled at for 5 minutes in front of your classmates at your senior prom and then getting publicly dumped). Bessie counters that it’s good PR and good for business. Bessie you can try, but your sister seems to enjoy shirking her responsibilities in the family business when Pacey is a possible romantic interest. She views his cavalier approach to life and love of running away from reality as ‘challenging’ and ‘moving forward’ and ‘growing up’. Compare with the ‘oh-so-childish’ and ‘stuck-in-Dawson’s-bedroom’ Joey of earlier seasons who would go the extra mile to clean under the fridge and work shifts after school.
Bessie threatens scrubbing toilet duty when both sisters are distracted by the sight of the Leery Fresh Fish banner flying on Pacey’s boat. Joey is hopeful that it means that the DP friendship has been mended. Bessie continues the conversation down the triangle theme and asks Joey if she’s come to her senses yet (I think she’s still asking that when the credits roll in the finale).
Joey: Dawson came by the other day and wanted to know if I wanted to spend time with him.
Interesting answer to give to a question about coming to your senses. Obviously when you come to your senses you choose Dawson.
Bessie: To which you said? (I love how she tries to pry info about Dawson in a totally sly, sisterly, DJish kind of way).
Joey doesn’t feel right about rebuilding a friendship with Dawson if he and Pacey are still grumpy. It’s Dawson Jo, you’ll get over any concern.

Gram’s house is filled with flowers and Jen and the McPhees are working on wreaths for the regatta. Well, Jen kind of isn’t. Instead she is plucking at a flower with the whole ‘he loves me, he loves me not.’ All I know is that the flower is a daisy and Jen is holding it – hello Ms Lindley, Daisy-Waving Psycho.
The moment is ruined with the appearance of crazy Henry, still holding the sign. Turns out he’s been appearing every day for a week, even in the rain. Oh my.
Jack: Exactly what unspeakable crime is he asking forgiveness for?
Jen: I defended Henry to Grams, saying that he wasn't a typical teenage boy with a one-track mind.
Andie: And?
Jen: Typical teenage boy. One-track mind.
Grams: I don't know what you expect. All healthy, normal boys want the same thing.
This coming from the lady who couldn’t even say penis.

Dawson later tracks down the McPhees and asks if he can borrow their dad’s boat. They have forgotten that their dad owns a boat but Dawson, the apparently inept, know-nothing-about-boats, has stored this fact away. Jack doesn’t think that racing against Pacey is the best idea but Andie thinks Dawson should seize the day (surprise, surprise the boat is named Carpe Diem).
Andie: Look, what is the problem with Dawson seizing the day, okay? I mean, Pacey most certainly did.
Dawson: It's not about Pacey, it's about Joey. Alright, look. I spent the last two months laying on my bed staring at empty walls. It's no wonder Joey got away from me. This is my chance to actually show her how much I care.
Hence the title ‘SHOW Me Love’ I guess.

Back at the regatta, Dawson looks lovingly at Joey cooking pancakes before walking over. He resists eating any pancakes till Joey offers him one.
Dawson lets Joey know that he’s now in the race too and not only that, the B&B is sponsoring him and he’s taking care of the fee. He adds that Bessie is ‘pretty psyched about the idea.’ (You know I love you Bessie).
Dawson: Joey, a victory, however slim my chance might be, would guarantee the Potter B&B covered the tourist brochure. You guys would be booked the whole season.
Joey: Look Dawson, I really don't think this is a good idea.
Dawson: It's not what you think, alright? All I want to do is help. If I needed help, you'd be there for me, right?
Okay, so Pacey has already said that the ONLY reason he entered the regatta was to help out Gail Leery. Dawson is now entering to help the B&B. So why does everyone bitch about Dawson in this scenario? I mean if Pacey truly was racing just to help someone wouldn’t he sail for the B&B? The struggling sisters look like they need it more. Mmm. I have issues.

Will visits Andie and she asks if Dawson is still downstairs with Jack reading "Sailing for Dummies". That is one time that I’m mildly irritated with Ms McPhee. Dummy indeed. Will basically tells Andie that if she is the woman he knows she is she should let go of her anger and be more supportive of PJ who developed feelings for each other and had the guts to do something about it.
Oh yes Will, it took so much guts to sneak around for a week before being sprung. Pity they didn’t have enough guts to talk about it with Dawson first.
I find it amusing and pathetic that the only PJer that can be rustled up is a character who appears for only a few episodes. And I also love how the other characters rally around Dawson in these times. I guess TPTB only do it to make Pacey come across as the poor underdog but for me it proves that the show is Dawson’s Creek not Pacey’s Pond, or Pacey’s Puddle or whatever other options have been bandied about (although I would accept Pacey’s Pissing Contest).

Cross to the Carpe Diem where an apparently clueless Dawson and Jack are doing boaty things. Jack gets accidentally whacked on the head in the process. Mitch Leery arrives on the scene and is of course amazing and knowledgeable and offers to help out. Now I’m just going to take a moment to review why the notion that Dawson is a sailing klutz is a ludicrous one:
1. We have already seen that it was a Leery family assumption that Dawson and Pacey would sail the True Love together. This would not be the case if he was a sailing novice.
2. Dawson had long ago taken note of the fact the Mr McPhee owned a vessel, one that meet the sailing criteria for a Capeside Regatta.
3. Dawson’s dad is Mitch. A strong, capable guy who clearly knows a lot about sailing and loves his son. Are you telling me that this two wouldn’t have gone out sailing before this?!
4. In prior seasons we have seen Dawson competently manage a rowboat and a motorised craft. Remember his trip to Maine with Pacey at the end of The Kiss.
5. In Two Gentlemen of Capeside it is established that Dawson and Pacey used to sail a lot when they were younger. In fact so good a sailor is Dawson, that he manages to locate Pacey on the open sea in a bad storm, with dodgy navigation equipment and on an unfamiliar boat.
6. He’s Dawson and he rules, he rocks, he’s a golden god.
Hence why I hate this scene this scene with him stumbling around and see it as another attempt to make him look the lesser of the two guys (Dawson and Pacey). The only thing good about it is that we get to see Dawson wind-swept, t-shirt clad, looking athletic in the sun. Well, I guess I can deal with that.

Joey must also find the scene attractive because she is watching him as he raises the Potter B&B flag on Carpe Diem. As she turns to walk away, she sees Pacey glaring at the boat.
Joey: Look Pacey, this wasn't my idea. I didn't ask him to do it, but I mean, you know Dawson, once he gets something in his mind... I'm sorry.
Pacey: If it wasn't your idea, why are you apologizing?
Joey: Because you're obviously upset.
Oh here we go. The familiar cycle of Joey trying to placate a Pacey with self-esteem issues and then having him feel more worthless by her attempts to make him feel better. Hello Joey Potter’s little charity project.
Pacey: I'm "upset" because we haven't spoken in two weeks, and now finally do, the first words out of your mouth, as per usual, are about Dawson.
Hah! News flash. Get used to it. In fact in your very last scene together, she’s still all about the Dawson.
Joey: Well this conversation is just about to get harder, Pacey.
Why is my gutter mind immediately relieved that she said ‘conversation’? Nic, you must be with me.
Pacey: You want me to drop out too? Wow, Dawson Leery couldn't have scripted this one any better, could he?
No, he didn’t script this. This is Joey’s doing. She’s asking YOU to step aside for Dawson. She always will.
Joey: What do you mean?
Pacey: Don't you get it? No matter what I do, he wins. If I drop out, he wins. If I stay in the race, I'm forced into direct competition with the guy. And if I actually win, I don't actually beat him, I beat you. So guess who really wins there?
Oh but I thought Dawson was clueless about sailing. You mean there’s actually a chance he’d beat you Pacey? Grrr. I hate inconsistency and lack of continuity.
Joey: Well… maybe you could talk to him, try to work it out.
Pacey: Yeah, we tried that. He doesn't really want to talk to me right now, and when he does, it's not entirely civil.
Excuse me?! When exactly did you try? You made no attempt in the school hall. You just glared at him and HE was the one to come to you with the banner and he was civil until YOU got snarky. Humph.

They part with Joey requesting that he try talking to Dawson again. Pacey wants to know if that’s all she wants. Yes, that’s all she wants. Man, she rejects him a lot before Dawson tells her to go be with him.
At Leery's Fresh Fish, Henry is now a permanent fixture with his sign, blocking the view and scaring the customers with his annoying and psychotic ways. Gail tells Jen to get rid of him and they resolve their issues with Henry leading her to a rooftop strewn with roses and candles and although on the surface it’s sweet, in light of Henry’s history I’m still a little nervous for Jen. He says he wants to show her how much he loves her. Ah, the title theme again. He adds that he wants to be the most original person in her life. Didn’t Cliff Elliot stalk Jen and drive her bonkers with scary notes in season 1 with the same goal? Poor Jen.
Speaking of stalking, Pacey is sitting on a fence in the dark and stands to his feet when Dawson walks part. Once again he shows how he is the noble and civil one with his non-confrontational opening line (sarcasm alert):
Pacey: What are you trying to prove?
They engage in a heated verbal sparring match that includes the following lines:
Pacey: I thought you of all people would understand someone falling for Joey Potter.
Dawson: Are you delusional enough to believe that you actually have something real with Joey?
Oh, Dawson you have some great lines. The PJ relationship never handled ‘real’, well real well.
Pacey: Well if I do, it's because of her own free will.
Hah! Every time Joey uses her free will she rejects you. She goes to you only AFTER Dawson tells her too. *sigh* Poor deluded Pacey.
Dawson: Do you really think a couple confused weeks means anything compared to the lifetime that we've had?
Pacey: And do you actually think that you could possibly hold on to that beautiful woman with some sort of selfish ultimatum?
Ugh. I also hate the way Pacey rabbits on about her beauty and incredibleness as a way to show his love for her is supposedly the greater. Dawson loves the real, vulnerable and flawed Joey.
Dawson: Answer my question, Pacey. Do you really think that you can compete with history?
Pacey: Some history. Fifteen years of watching PG movies in your bedroom followed by another year-and-a-half of pretending to be grown-up only to drop each other at the first sign of crisis. That's your history?? Come on, man. And you call this woman your soul mate?
Pacey, constantly calling Joey a woman doesn’t make the PJ relationship the mature one. She was never more childish than when she was with you. And 15 years of something, whatever that was, COMPLETELY outweighs two weeks. And of course they would be PG rated movies. (Although there was Dawson’s porn collection discovered in season 2). Are you saying that 15 years of sleeping together, doing shared activities and talking about everything is a lame history? You think your history with Joey will be any better? Lawdy. Let’s review.

Some history. One year of insecurity, sexual pressure, fighting, constant references to Dawson and pretending to be grown-up and then dumping her the minute you see her smiling in Dawson’s arms, followed by a year and half when you don’t really know the other’s existence apart from telling them to pursue a relationship with someone else and then a few months of drunken flirtation and being locked in a store over-night while trying to hit on other women only to be dropped at the first re-appearance of an ex and then five years later while in the middle of an affair with a married woman and with a friend on her death bed, you throw spaghetti at each other and decide that although she will always love Dawson and what they have goes beyond friendship and even lovers, she still ‘cleans your windows’. That’s your history?? Come on, man. And you call this woman your twu wuv?

Anyhoo, Dawson says that yes he does call Joey his soulmate and what’s more Pacey knew that and still went after her anyway. Pacey shoots back that he did after Dawson rejected her.
At this point I stand up and yell at Mr Witter:
“What the?! ‘Rejected’ my ass. Stung by her father’s betrayal of their family yet again, Joey lashed out at Dawson and said some extremely hurtful things. This after Dawson had struggled with how to approach the issue of Mike’s drug dealings. Pacey, your father and Dawson’s parents convinced Joey to turn her dad in. His heart broken by circumstances completely beyond his control he hides away for the summer only to return to Capeside and you immediately are dragging him out to strip clubs. Disconcerted by this ‘new’ Dawson (aka the Pacey version of Dawson), Joey who has since calmed down and realised that Dawson was not to blame and is still the love of her life, comes on very strong to the still wounded and hurting Dawson and tells him that she can be sexy. Being the gentleman that he is and knowing that Joey probably isn’t ready for sex and still raw from his now twice broken heart, he GENTLY says no to sex with her in that moment and then in the few minutes races to find you and says: I need to know she's okay. Could you talk to her? Maybe watch out for her for a couple of days? So Mr Witter, where exactly is this rejection that you speak of?! Even in the dark hour of his hurt and confusion Dawson has placed Joey’s needs before his own. I realise however, that you may never understand turning down the sexual advances of a woman, you being ‘Pacey Witter, Friend to Women and all.’ Argh!”

I now sit down but Dawson who has been angrily nodding throughout my entire tirade continues for me: Oh, so she was vulnerable. Perfect for you right? 'Cause you're only interested in girls you can save or screw, right Pace?
And I know that I’m meant to be shocked and appalled at this and we are meant to think Dawson is evil, but in hindsight there’s a lot of truth to that comment and sometimes us ‘good’ people need to lose it. *Ponders to self: ‘Am I still giving a lecture or have I become a tad too emotionally invested in fiction?*

Meanwhile Grams has another mini-personality change and now after telling Jen to pursue a relationship with a ‘normal healthy boy’ who has sex on the brain, is angry believing that Jen has had sex with said boy.

Gail is a bit upset that Mitch is helping Dawson in the regatta and thinks that they should teach their son to instead fight with words. Ummm Mrs Leery, Dawson is already doing a great job with that but what good are words against a guy who has issues with the word ‘nice’ and tells people to look up their thesaurus after sex?

It’s now the Capeside Regatta and there’s a lot of pulsing and intense angry music as True Love and Carpe Diem battle it out. And for a guy who apparently knows squat about sailing, Dawson is doing a great job in keeping neck and neck with Pacey. Mitch tells Dawson that he has to give True Love room or give way or some such thing but Dawson is determined to ‘Show Me Love’ not ‘Talk Me Love’ and ignores this advice. He crosses the finish line first because Will and Pacey have to turn around at the last minute to avoid a collision. For those of you playing at home True Love finish fifth. Poor True Love. Not.

Now apart from my issue with Dawson who is suddenly meant to be a sailing doofus in this episode (which I’ve already gone to in some detail) I have two other issues with the Capeside Regatta:
1. In this annual event which brings hundreds of tourists to Capeside, are two 17 year old boys the best in the whole competition? Wouldn’t it be more realistic that they’d finish further down the pack against people who are more experienced and who have competed in this event before?!
2. I cannot believe that Mitch would not have intervened and taken control of the boat when Dawson was going against all boating rules and endangering two yachts. He would have pushed his son aside and stepped in.

The apparently still clueless Dawson thinks they’ve won and an angry Joey tells him If you knew a little bit more about sailing you would know that you got disqualified. Yes, well he does know a little more about sailing which is way this whole episode is a farce. Pacey stomps over angrily doing his own bizarre strip tease as he shrugs of his giant and very bright yellow sailing overalls.
Pacey: You nearly killed me!
Ah, Pace. You nearly do that yourself by sailing out into a storm, watching your boat sink and then having to endure the shame of Dawson saving your life.
Dawson: What, I got disqualified?
Pacey: Oh, I got a couple more words for what you are.
Hee! Bring out the thesauruses boys.
Dawson: Okay, let's not forget who started this, Pacey. You're the one who said you wanted…
Joey: Okay, stop. The both of you, stop this. I'm not some damned trophy.
No Miss Potter you are not. But the writers will spend the rest of the show trying to convince us that you are.
Pacey: No, Jo, let's not forget who started this, okay. Let's not forget who pushed me towards Joey Potter in the first place. (to Dawson) It was you! Yes! It was you who couldn't be bothered…
I immediately leap to my feet to again yell at Pacey.
“Are you freakin serious?! You said yourself in the last episode that YOU started all this and now you're saying that Dawson started it nearly a year ago? He PUSHED you to her by asking you to look out for her for TWO MEASLEY DAYS. Wow I see now you have ‘always’ loved Joey considering you found her so attractive and appealing a person that you had to be PUSHED to her. And as for the theory that Dawson couldn’t be bothered…oh I’m so angry with you right now I can’t even finish my sentence. Dawson however, is once again ready to back me up.”
Dawson: Because I didn't want to get hurt again, Pacey! I still had feelings for her, I still loved her! I still love her.
The way he says it the second time and looks at her….*sigh* *melt* *puddle*
Joey: I... I hate this. I hate all of this. (Me too sister) God, I hate you for kissing me and forcing me to figure out what it all means, Pacey. Amen. And it means nothing Jo, except that Pacey thought you were hot and he hadn’t had any in a while. And I hate you Dawson, for… for See, having trouble thinking of a reason to hate Dawson aren’t you. Well, that’s cause there is none but she picks forcing me to make a choice between our friendship and what I might have had with him..

Joey also hates herself and stomps off. Pacey spits out to Dawson Are you happy now? and then he storms off to the True Love to hose it or sulk to Will or something not-food-related I’m sure. Dawson on the other hand (let’s say it’s because he’s the one who really loves Joey and hates to see her upset) rushes after Joey and tells her that he’s glad Pacey kissed her.
Joey: Well that makes one of us.
So Joey wasn’t happy Pacey kissed her (she states that a number of times but when Dawson kissed her in Decisions she didn’t seem to mind. Compare the start of both relationships).
He’s glad Pacey kissed her because it forced him to deal with the notion of losing her and he never wants that to happen. He’s also trying to be more like Pacey (Heh. I find it amusing that at this time in the show when a lot of people really don’t like Dawson, that his behaviour can be explained because he’s been trying to be like Pacey. The irony.). He also been trying to show her how much he wants her instead of simply telling her. (There’s the episode title again).
Dawson:I don't want to lose you, Joey, I- I want you more than I ever have.
Joey: If you really felt that way about me Dawson, then you would realize that the last thing that I need right now is another person with romantic intentions for me.

So let me get this straight. If Pacey develops romantic feelings for Joey we are meant to applaud him for having the ‘guts to act on it.’ But if Dawson realises that he still has romantic feelings for Joey he’s meant to suck it up, hide them and simply be a friend. Riiigggghhht. I hate the double standards of this show. (Let’s not forget either that Dawson was aware of these feelings before he found out about PJ [see Stolen Kisses] so this whole triangle isn’t Dawson being selfish and only wanting Joey once Pacey’s on the scene. I have been paying attention writers.

Will is finally leaving for Raleigh College and his scholarship. Pacey farewells him at the station with the sound advice not to murder anyone or sleep with your teacher. Wow, Will is going to go a long way in life with that piece of advice. Will has his own little words of wisdom Don't give up on true love. It always wins in the end. Huh? In the next regatta, instead of coming fifth, Tue Love will be a resting place for barnacles. That’s some win. Oh, you think he’s being all metaphorical and speaking about True Love as the emotional concept. Well if that is the case, I have to agree. True Love with always win in the end which is why DJ are going find each other and be together, always. (For my extensive theory on why True Love refers to DJ see my lecture on the episode True Love).

Jen and Grams make up. Turns out that there has been no Jen and Henry sex. There never will be.

Gail does her own version of ‘Show Me Love’ and closes the restaurant to have a private dinner with Mitch. Because he’s more important than anything else You always were. You always will be. (Awwww, how DJ) Aren't you going to say something?
Mitch: I was just trying to find the words. Pacey ruins the moment by leaning across to hand Mitch a thesaurus.

It’s the inky darkness of evening but Joey is again at the festering pile of bricks that attempts to pass itself off as a wall. She’s wearing a bandana (which means it’s a big project. See similar outfit in the school mural episodes) and holding her bucket of paint, spends another looooonnnng moment just staring at the wall. Seriously, if she keeps mutely staring at this thing (and we know she still is two episodes later) the mental health authorities are going to gently take her away. Pacey still doing his regular night time stalking routine, strolls over.
Pacey: Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Pacey: You thought I was Dawson?
I cannot believe this guy. Is he THAT insecure that he immediately goes on the attack in every conversation and excuse me, didn’t he just accuse Joey of saying ‘Dawson’ the minute she opens her mouth? Umm, pot please meet kettle.
It transpires that the lease will soon run out on the wall and while Joey doesn’t want to lose the rights to scribble on her precious wall she just isn’t darn ready to paint. Before agreeing to keep paying the $1.25 a month that the wall is costing him, Pacey says: I gotta be honest with you, Jo. I really thought after the way he behaved today that you'd love him less, but you don't, do you? If anything, you just love him more. Joey’s face confirms this and she makes no attempt to deny the obvious. Pacey continues to be a glutton for punishment.
Pacey: Okay. Okay. I just gotta ask one more question and then I'm gonna stop making this hard on both of us, I swear. If it weren't for Dawson, could you ever love me like that?
Joey: Like what?
Pacey: Like a soul mate?
Her answer makes it clear that it’s doubtful she could ever love him like that.
Joey: Pacey, please don't make me choose this... don't make me choose.
But by not choosing, by default she’s picked Dawson. Pacey parts with the line: There are no ultimatums here and once again we are meant to think how great he is compared to Dawson and his earlier ultimatum. But Pacey, just cause you say that there isn’t an ultimatum doesn’t mean that there isn’t one. Wait till you paint the wall…..

Pacey rips the True Love sign off his boat and throws it into the water where it floats until Andie, guilted into action by Will, has to take over the role as the sole member of the PJ support team and tells Pacey that love is stronger than hate.

Because Joey has still clearly chosen Dawson, instead of painting that wretched monstrosity that Pacey keeps shoving down her throat she heads over to Dawson’s bedroom, ET in hand because that line in the movie “I’ll be right here” are some of the most comforting words in the world. And of course that person, the one who is ‘right here’ for her is Dawson. Always will be. His presence in her life, the absolute closeness of him compared to any other, will always take precedence over any romantic possibilities with someone else which is why she never picks Pacey at the end of season 3, why they broke up in season 4 and why they are doomed to failure in the finale. It's also why the DJ story is the heart of the show, the story that media commentators still remember as the years pass.

I shall leave the lecture there. It is a fitting place I think, but I want to add that this particular episode saddens me not so much because of what they did to Dawson but rather what they’ve done to Pacey.

[Cris]

Oh, I loved this title!

And thanks for posting this piece again, we need to appreciate and discuss your lecture, Deb. It's one of my favorites!

Dawson: Save it, Pacey. You know everyone else might buy this chivalrous, self deprecating crap. I don't.

That's why I love my Dawson!
Best line of this episode, best line of S3!

[Beatriz]

Love the title

[Ms X]

What a truly great lecture Deb! Could. not agree more. It is sad how TPTB damaged Pacey, everyone always slates off Dawson but did it ever occur to them that Pacey is more of a tosser in this episode then anyone else?

Angry Dawson

[Cris]

Pacey: Okay. Okay. I just gotta ask one more question and then I'm gonna stop making this hard on both of us, I swear. If it weren't for Dawson, could you ever love me like that? Joey: Like what? Pacey: Like a soul mate? Her answer makes it clear that it’s doubtful she could ever love him like that. Joey: Pacey, please don't make me choose this... don't make me choose.

It's funny that earlier he made fun of Dawson because he said Joey was his soulmate, but deep down, Pacey knew the truth, otherwise why would he ask such a question, right? Tell me about envy...

Oh and Pacey annoyed the hell out of me with his constant comments about Joey's beauty and magnificence. Tell me something shallow...

[~Unfaithful~]

Lol, Deb and your lectures, I love them!!! I also love the title!

[Jordan23]

Love, love the thread title. Thanks for the new thread. I needed something to smile about today.

Pacey: Okay. Okay. I just gotta ask one more question and then I'm gonna stop making this hard on both of us, I swear. If it weren't for Dawson, could you ever love me like that? Joey: Like what? Pacey: Like a soul mate? Her answer makes it clear that it’s doubtful she could ever love him like that. Joey: Pacey, please don't make me choose this... don't make me choose.

^ ^ ah one of my favorite moments there. Silence there was great. hee hee

[-Kelly-]

Deb - I fixed the icon image url.

[tathynha]

Thanks for the thread Deb!! This title is so funny!!

[Deb D]

Thanks Kel

Glad everyone likes the title. I sat here for a few hours yesterday but no one was around and then the other thread got closed and I panicked and opened a new one. And thanks so much for the feedback on the lectures. They seem to be getting longer! Thanks for ploughing through the 6578 words. Such a project would have exhausted me at uni but somehow hate can inspire you in just an afternoon
With these final season 3 episodes, I used to think that each title referred to the PJ story (eg. Stolen Kisses/True Love) but now that I am so much older and wiser (HAH!) I think in fact they are far more about the DJ story:
- Stolen Kisses ('are you going to steal her or borrow her from Dawson?')
- Show Me Love (Dawson's attempts at winning back Joey)
- True Love (well after I watched that episode recently, it was surprising how the theme was so DJ)

[Cris]

Hey Deb!

I appreciate the way you see those episodes... a whole new meaning!

[Hachiko]

Hi to everybody.
I'm new here, but i really hate Pacey and Joey...Yeah, I'm a DJer and Aper, but this relationship between Pacey and Joey... brrr, nightmare!
I have read your quotes... super funny and hilarious... xD
Ok, so can i add to list?

[Cris]

Welcome Hachiko!

So great to meet more Anti-PJers!

[Hachiko]

Originally Posted by CrisBR Welcome Hachiko! So great to meet more Anti-PJers!

I think the same!

thank you for welcome ^^