Gilmore Girls - NESHBE #88: Because we CAN make Chris the bad guy here!

**- just stand still -** · 06-04-2022, 07:16 PM

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Welcome to the 88th Neshbe Thread
This is a thread about why we dislike Christopher and Lorelai together.
Our name Neshbe comes from NEver SHould BE because it wasn't their destiny...

Our Motto:
The Chris hate will never die. Even when he's gone, we will still live on!

"Gone"
by Kelly Clarkson
What you see is not what you get
With you there's just no measurement
no way to tell what's real from what isn't there
Your eyes they sparkle
That's all changed into lies that dropped like acid rain
you washed away the best of me
you don't care
You know you did it
I'm gone
to find someone to live for in this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
just a bridge that I gotta burn
You were wrong
If you think you could walk right through my door
That is just so
you coming back when I finally moved on
I'm already gone
Sometimes shattered
never opened
nothing matters
when you're broken
That was me whenever I was with you
Always ending, always over
back and forth, up and down like a roller coaster
I am breaking that habit today
You know you did it
I'm gone
to find someone to live for in this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
just a bridge that I gotta burn
You were wrong
If you think you could walk right through my door
That is just so you coming back when I finally moved on
I'm already gone
There is nothing you can say
Sorry doesn't cut it babe
Take the hit and walk away cause i'm gone
Doesn't matter what you do
It's what you did that's hurting you
All I needed was the truth
Now I'm gone
What you see is not what you get
What you see is not what you get
You know you did it
I'm gone
to find someone to live for in this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
just a bridge that I gotta burn
You were wrong
If you think you could walk right through my door
That is just so you coming back when I finally moved on
I'm already gone
I'm already gone
I'm already gone

"Since U Been Gone"
by Kelly Clarkson
Here's the thing
We started out friends
It was cool, but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
You're dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long 'til I called you mine
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I picture me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone
How can I put it, you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
Guess you never felt that way
But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want
Since you been gone
You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you been gone (since you been gone)
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know) that I get
I get what I want
Since you been gone
Since you been gone
Since you been gone

Neshbe Avatars:

By Gilmoregirl999

By Paula San
One of the best GG moments:

By Paula San

Neshbe Poems:
dopey oh dopey you sure suck
with a million and a smashed face you stuck
living in a marriage as second choice
a lot dumb gazes and a whiny voice
you really are a pathetic man
be happy to have at least one fan
lorelai soon will get her brain cells back
cuz she has some sense left where you have a lack
you'll get shipped away and we'll wave goodbye
joining us will rory, luke and lorelai
your jumping a broken woman will get you in the end
and there will be nothing! nothing to defend!
by little_earthquake

CHRISTOPHER
C is for a the Crummy things you do.
h is for how Heinous you is.
r is for Rory... you know YOUR DAUGHTER!
i is for the Insanity you bring
s is for the ******* that escaped your lips.
t is for the Torture you inflict
o is for OPP... don't get down with OPP dopey
p is for... well... not Penis.... that's obvious
h is for how Hellish our lives are with you in them
e is for Evil, you know you are.
r.... is for Rat... so take your cheese and your whine and get on up out of the house that Luke built.
by Ace5203

one little dopey felt that one brain cell was too few
thats why he cloned himself to finally get a clue
he tested his IQ with six of them
still felt stupid and added 3 more for his planned 10
ten little dopeys walked around in town
while joining the swim marathon one did sadly drown
nine little dopeys stumbled into ms. kims store
one of them got to know what a cricket bat is for
eight little dopeys had two minute sex
one of them ran blindly in one of the women ex
seven little dopeys waved around with cash
one met with the mafia, his death looked like a carcrash
six little dopeys without all intelligenz
wanted to cuddle the dog that barked behind the fence
five little dopeys wanted to finally marry
one accidently proposed to a guy called 'larry'
four little dopeys wiped away a fuzz
one got unfortunately hit by kirks new purple bus
three little dopeys wanted to visit their kid
one hit his head too hard when he stepped in doggysh**
two little dopeys walked in the morning mist
one made lightly contact with luke's welcoming fist
one little dopey now again alone
called a night with lorelai amazing on the phone
so the gossip people spread the message around
his dead weasel wearing body was actually never found
by little_earthquake

Neshbe Quotes:
Rory: I can't believe it. And he definitely said definitely?
Lorelai: Definitely.
Rory: So there's a 50/50 chance.
Lorelai: I don't know. He sounded pretty sure, I'd say 60/40.

Christopher Drinking Game:
To cope with seeing Chris on our TVs this season, we will be playing a drinking game. Everytime Chris says any of these words or phrases, we will take a shot (coffee, pop, etc for the underage posters).
- Lor
- Kiddo
- the one
- rat me out
- meant to be
- Ror
- for real this time
- there for ... (insert: you, Rory, etc.)
- family (man, guy, real family, etc.)
- 'get it together'
- 'i've got money/job now'
- '....different this time'
- ‘make changes’
- marry me/married/marriage
- 'another chance'
- TPTDI (totally psyched to do it)

Neshbe Videos:
The Ballad of Chris and Lor by Barb
She Hates Me by Barb
Gone by Barb
You're Not What I'm Looking For by Barb
Time by Barb
The One by Barb
Love To Hate You[/URL] by Kris
Breaking the Habit by Kris

Neshbe Fic:
She Always Takes Me Back

Previous Threads:
#1 Cuz he had his chance and he blew it
#2 Cause her name is Lorelai not Lor!!
#3 Because family is about teamwork, not ME-work
#4 Because now, Chris, it's time to get your coffee
#5 Because Chris is weak and Lorelai knows it
#6 Because salads are sexier than porkchops
#7 Cause if Luke was just tolerating Lorelai, she would know
#8 Luke is just settling?!...uhm...that would be Chris!
#9 'Cause Chris chose Sherry over Lorelai
#10 'Cause we want to see Luke's Ass, But Chris is just an Ass
#11 Cause if Chris is her soulmate, we don't want to find ours. Ever.
#12 'Cause 10 Million Doesn't Fix 21 Years
#13 'Cause there's first love and then there's Luke love
#14 'Cause Chris and Lorelai? Been there. Done that. Bored now.
#15 'Cause sleeping with him is Chernobyl and the Hindenburg combined'
#16 'Cause Chris is wrong for Lorelai from A to Z
#17 'Cause "Christopher who?" pretty much sums it up
#18 'Cause even Lorelai wanted to key his car
#19 'Cause their scenes are just a waste of screen time
#20 'Cause Luke is better
#21 'Cause she never loved Christopher
#22 'Cause Lorelai's face says it all
#23 'Cause You Can't Fix Stupid a.k.a Chris
#24 Nice Robe, Put It Back On
#25 'Cause He Brings Out the Worst in Her
#26 'Cause every time he comes back, he ends up messing up her life
#27 'Cause she turned down his marriage proposal...twice!
#28 'Cause he hasn't changed
#29 'Cause lots of money doesn’t mean Redemption
#30 'Cause GiGi will need some good shrinks
#31 'Cause he is still living in the past
#32 'Cause they AREN'T written in the stars
#33 'Cause it wasn't their destiny. Lorelai said it, we just agree.
#34 'Cause they have an unhealthy relationship
#35 'Cause she can't live caffeine free (a.k.a without Luke)
#36 'Cause sex with him is a waste of two minutes
#37 'Cause he's nothing more than the sperm donor
#38 'Cause his nicknames are just stupid
#39 'Cause you don't go to the small one when you have a big one!
#40 'Cause he comes and goes as he pleases, but Luke was always there
#41 'Cause the guy can't commit to anything, not even a full word
#42 'Cause he had fun sleeping with a miserable woman
#43 'Cause he's just the rebound guy
#44 'Cause she doesn't trust him
#45 'Cause Chris will never be Luke
#46 'Cause we know what we want and it's not C/L
#47 'Cause their names don't start with the same letter
#48 'Cause Chris will soon join Nicole in the Ex-club
#49 'Cause all he needed was 2 minutes to ruin the show
#50 'Cause after 50 threads, we can’t be wrong
#51 'Cause he hurts our eyeballs
#52 'Cause we would pay $7,800 to see him gone
#53 'Cause She Doesn't Want His Baby!
#54 'Cause let it snow, let is snow, make him GO!
#55 'Cause New Year, New Beginning, C/L End
#56 'Cause he's not in the graphic, credits or Lorelai's heart
#57 'Cause their relationship is a cosmological joke
#58-72...No titles
#73 Because after 20 years he still wasn't able to take off her dress
#74 Because marriage is a bad pain reliever
#75 Because even the worst nightmare comes to an end eventually
#76 Because according to Lorelai he is never not stupid
#77 Because we neither heard a 'Yes' nor an 'I do' from her
#78 Because she didn't want to celebrate their "marriage"
#79 Never Should Be - No doubt about it
#80 Because settling for your second choice never ends happy
#81 Because not even their tongues were in it!
#82 Because he is the deadbeat of the century
#83 Because it is obvious - He's not the one, never was!
#84 Because how many times could they really try and FAIL before they got the hint

Ways to Kill Off Christopher:
1. BUS
2. LUKE'S TRUCK
3. Poison
4. Persuasion over a cliff (cause he's so dumb he'd fall for it)
5. Kirk's Pedi-Cab runs Dopey over
6. Paul Anka Attacks!!!!!
7. Babbette hits him with a shovel cause she thinks he's a robber (thanks to 'She Always Takes me Back')
8. Patty suffocates him with her boobs
9. Luke hits him with a frying pan
10. Rory kills him with her enormous stack of books
11. Cletus kick him in the head
12. The first town hanging in over 200 years…..
13. Due to his night terrors, Kirk ends up attacking and killing Dopey one night because Kirk thought he was after him.
14. Hedgeclippers. Dull ones.
15. Crazy Carrie suffocating him with her boobs
16. GiGi attacks him, Lizzie Borden style
17. His Nanny finally turns on him (he didn't pay her enough)
18. Sherry's Yoga Guy attacks him during a nasty yoga lesson!
19. He gets beaked to death by the swan that attacked Jess.
20. Taylor looses his grip on the gavel at a town meeting and it hits Chris right in the face. How he dies from it is left up to the imagination
21. Logan with all his money, pays for the killer to do the job
22. Emily hires men to attack him with tire irons
23. Aunt Totsy totsies him to death
24. He breaks several things in Mrs. Kim's antique shop and refuses to pay for them. His body is never found.
25. His ego becomes too much for the world to handle and his body combusts
26. Jackson and giant scissors (use your imagination what he cuts first of)
27. Lorelai says good bye, bye, bye to NNS (Never Not Stupid), that's too much for his heart.
28. Richard has his insurance guys take care of it.
29. Gypsy uses a wrench from her shop.
30. Paris kills him with her hot glue gun.
31. His Volvo backs over him
32. After a night of drinking all the tequila he can find, he gets alcohol poisoning
33. He makes a musical request of The Doo-Wop group, and they show him where their real talent lies.
34. He gets in the way of when Paris and Doyle practice their Krav Maga, and he is the only one that doesn't go home alive.
35. He teases Gil about his long hair, and Gil brains him (okay hits him in the head) with his guitar.
36. He goes off to the Gilmore's bathroom thinking that Lorelai is going to meet him there. When she doesn't arrive he doesn't know what to do since there is no one to give him direction, and he starves to death. Nice find for the new maid.
37. That ******en flat screen tv he tries to set up above Lorelai's fireplace (IN HER HOUSE) drops on him. He topples to the ground, from the impact of the huge (but thin) TV screen. And to add some fireworks to the mix: This entire scenario happens while the fire in the fireplace is BURNING BRIGHT
38. He sticks his hand in the plug and electrocutes himself
39. He gets gangrene from the bamboo shots I've stuffed up under his nails (he DESERVES it!!!)
40. He falls down the stairs and breaks his neck
41. He gets the worlds greatest pizza almost dumped all over him
42. The garage gets so full of Rory's (heavy) stuff that the next time Chris goes to take something in there (of Rory's) it all comes toppling down on him
43. That snail that he ate gives him food poisoning
44. He tries to skate with Lorelai and takes a nasty tumble!
45. He chokes on the wine and dies.
46. He chokes on the snails
47. After eating the snails, he later finds out they were actually slugs and are still alive and they are sucking the all the blood from him. Never let Lorelai cook, man.
48. He tries to skydive off the Eiffel Tower and forgets to bring a parachute.
49. He gets pinned underneath a piece of Rory's furniture and dies cause no one looked for him.
50. While reaching in the garbage disposal to clear it out, it turns on and cuts his fingers off and he ends up bleeding to death.
51. He goes into the garage to get champagne......and never comes out.
52. He meets all the angry people from the Neshbe thread
53. The deep fryer from DFKT pours burning hot oil on him
54. He thinks he can wrestle an alligator and well, the alligator wins
55. He gets struck by lightning
56. He gets bit by a rabid raccoon
57. He slips on the bridge at the lake, hits his head, and then falls into the water and drowns
58. TJ clobbers him with a metal pipe
59. We smother him to death with his own money.

Reasons Why We Hate Chris:
1. Because he skipped his daughter's graduation ceremony
2. Because he ignored Rory's request to stay away from Lorelai
3. Because he tries to buy their love
4. Because the more he explains himself, the more he needs to explain himself
5. Because he cares more about money than his grandfather dying
6. Because even though he wanted to do the right thing with Gigi, he still didn't know her
7. Because he showed up at FND and upset all three Gilmore Girls
8. Because he said the best day of his life was his first kiss with Lorelai
9. Because he didn't give Rory his number when he moved to Boston
10. Because he couldn't even buy her a dictionary on his first visit to Stars Hollow
11. Because he was a complete ass at the vow renewal
12. Because he didn't defend Rory to his parents
13. Because he calls Lorelai "Lor"
14. Because he yelled at Lorelai in Luke's
15. Because he is immature
16. Because he didn't know how Rory takes her coffee
17. Because he didn't know that Rory got arrested and dropped out of Yale
18. Because he only went after Lorelai because Emily told him to
19. Because he cheated on Sherry with Lorelai
20. Because he didn't come to Stars Hollow until Rory was 16
21. Because the door was always open but he never used it
22. Because he is manic
23. Because he is a slippery slope
24. Because he hurts Lorelai time and time again
25. Because Rory suggested having Taylor or the cable guy escort her instead of Chris
26. Because he let Lorelai break the news to Rory about Sherry being pregnant
27. Because he wasn't there when Rory had the chicken pox
28. Because he moved to California instead of staying close to his daughter
29. Because he missed her 16th and 21st birthday parties
30. Because he didn't help Rory move into Yale
31. Because he only cares about himself
32. Because even Emily never thought much of him. And still doesn't. (her words in CH)
33. Because he didn't defend Gigi when Emily referred to her as "this"
34. Because Lorelai acts like she is 16 when he is around
35. Because he waited to tell Lorelai he had a girlfriend
36. Because he is whiny
37. Because he helped break up Luke and Lorelai
38. Because his first line was "Nice Shirt. Take it Off" Smooth
39. Because he's "never not stupid"
40. Because he never grew up
41. Because he's a "two-minute" man
42. Because unlike Luke, he wasn't "there" (from Rory's little speech in NMIP)
43. Because Emily always thought he was weak. And he still is.
44. Because he didn't know how to raise his own baby
45. Because he hardly ever calls Rory or Lorelai, but the minute he's in trouble... (his own words from NMIP)
46. Because nothing is ever "different" with him. (Referring to how Rory kept trying to say that something's different in "Christopher Returns.")
47. Because if it was up to him, they would have married at age 16 and lived the Emily and Richard lifestyle
48. Because he uses Rory to get to Lorelai
49. Because "it's Christopher." (Lorelai says this to describe what would happen if he wasn't being sincere about wanting to be involved with Rory, in Christopher Returns - when she's talking to Sookie)
50. Because he didn't know that Al doesn't serve pancakes
51. Because he asked Rory to lie for him... and then got mad when he thought she "rat him out"
52. Because he never apologizes
53. Because we love Luke
54. Because he is clueless
55. Because his parents blamed Lorelai for everything, and he said nothing
56. Because the Offspring sucks and Metallica rules
57. Because even Rory didn't want to talk to him when he left Lorelai for Sherry
58. Because he let Rory on his motorcycle even though Lorelai said no
59. Because he made Lorelai forget about her painting date with Luke
60. Because he wanted to get married and then get to know each other as adults...romantic
61. Because he's still living in the past
62. Because he had his chance, but blew it
63. Because he doesn’t know the definition of a "real" family
64. Because Chris is the definition of an ass
65. Because screw genetics... Luke is Rory's real father... not Chris!
66. Because all he is good for is heartbreak
67. Because he's a non-fishing, non-barbie-buying type of dad
68. Because there's not enough string to tie up all his loose ends
69. Because he didn't admit to his parents that he never would have gone to Princeton
70. Because he was perfectly willing to let their parents decide their future
71. Because he didn't even make the first move
72. Because he would never look sexy in flannel
73. Because where was his financial support when his daughter was living in a potting shed?
74. Because he repeatedly disappointed Rory
75. Because Taylor didn't like him from the moment he first saw him
76. Because he is "Dopey"
77. Because he said he just went to celebrate the vow renewal. Yeah... ok.
78. Because Rory cares more about what Luke thinks
79. Because he wasn't around to drive Lorelai to the hospital (F&S)
80. Because the black hat fits
81. Because he's as unpredictable as a pregnant woman
82. Because he lied about how his business was doing
83. Because unlike Luke, he didn't build Lorelai a chuppah
84. Because she rejected his marriage proposal twice, and he still can't take the hint
85. Because he's a deadbeat dad
86. Because his appearances are repetitive and redundant. And repetitive. And redundant.
87. Because his side of the story doesn’t exist
88. Because he's the reason Lorelai had to lie to Rory (ESH)
89. Because he's the reason Rory lied to Luke
90. Because he's the reason Lorelai lied to Luke
91. Because she only called him because she was drunk, and Abe Vigoda was unavailable
92. Because he yelled at Rory for being concerned about Lorelai
93. Because he tried to force Rory to play hooky at Yale
94. Because even he hates his relationship with Rory (WoQM)
95. Because he's the one that put the wall between him and Rory
96. Because the 10 minutes included getting dressed and freshening her lipstick
97. Because he didn't know she had a Dean for almost 3 months
98. Because a Volvo's only great for driving to bingo
99. Because even Amy is a JJ
100. Because even Sherry didn't want to be with him
101. Because he was desperate
102. Because he ignored Luke's "no cell phone" rule
103. Because he has an annoying sidekick obsession
104. Because she never loved another man before Luke, not even Christopher
105. Because marrying Christopher would've only been a solution to a problem, not anything romantic
106. Because after he boinks his severely distraught friend, all he musters is a smug, self-satisfying smile
107. Because he loves his motorcycle like he loves his Tonka truck
108. Because he doesn't have the greatest track record
109. Because she didn't go back to bed
110. Because she "doesn't think it should happen again"
111. Because she said no to breakfast
112. Because "it's not pretty, it's not Disney"
113. Because he's "not eighteen and it isn't 1987"
114. Because she didn't want to "make more out of it than it was"
115. Because she said no to dinner with him
116. Because he hurt here before, why won't he do it again?
117. Because he left her on a WEDDING DAY
118. Because he referred to her as a **** (IGASOOY)
119. Because he comes and goes as he pleases, but Luke was always there.
120. Because Luke was the father he could never be
121. Because Emily realized what Lorelai wanted and it wasn't Christopher
122. Because Rory hasn't come and stayed with him yet.
123. Because when Luke broke up with Lorelai he came running to see if she was okay, but Chris never turned back
124. Because he only came to Stars Hollow because his folks were back in town and "on the way I thought I'd stop by and surprise the Gilmore Girls"
125. Because Lorelai wouldn't bet a lot of money on him staying long
126. Because he thought Rory played softball
127. Because if it's not true, it's Christopher
128. Because he made her feel....16
129. Because "You are out of your mind. You are completely insane. You have flipped your lid. Charlie Manson is freaked out by you right now"
130. Because them having sex meant that Jose Cuervo still has magical powers
131. Because he told Sookie she was “the greatest chef after Alan Ducass”
132. Because it wasn’t their destiny
133. Because he criticized their movie choice
134. Because he wasn't in the delivery room when Rory was born
135. Because he called Gigi 'perfect' and Rory 'pretty' when they were born
136. Because "If you're heartbroken you rent An Affair to Remember, you have a good cry and you drown you're sorrows in a pint of ice cream, you get a hideously, unflattering break-up haircut, you don't sleep with Dad"
137. Because they "need to work on their communication skills"
138. Because Luke punched him!
139. Because she said it was a one night thing
140. Because Rory can't believe she slept with him
141. Because it was nothing
142. Because what she did was worse than dyeing your hair
143. Because "it's over now and it was a mistake"
144. Because she ruined Rory/Chris's relationship and her friendship with Chris
145. Because Sookie knows he's the rebound guy
146. Because Lorelai doesn't trust him or them
147. Because Rory doesn't want Lorelai to get hurt again
148. Because they ruin movies together
149. Because he gets rid of Gigi to spend the night with Lorelai
150. Because Rory saw the guy 2 days ago and she's sick of him.
151. Because she's not comfortable talking to Chris
152. Because in her head she was talking to Luke
153. Because Chris isn't Luke
154. Because in order to make a C/L relationship possible, they have to ruin Luke and L/L
155. Because he wanted to send his 4 year old to Paris for two months to see a mother she hadn't seen in two years with her 25 year old nanny
156. Because she can't get Luke out of her head
157. Because she's replaying conversations with Luke in her head, when she's with him
158. Because she was wrong, Chris did get angry
159. Because Chris has gotten to used to being forgiven
160. Because this will be the last time Chris will ever be considered
161. Because even after 80 years, Chris will never be in our hearts, or hers
162. Because everyone who loves her, is warning her for a reason
163. Because when Chris says he loves her, he always runs away
164. Because Chris isn't even be Rory's Father of the Moment, Luke is Rory's Father of the Century
165. Because it will never be, we know that
166. Because when Emily and Richard are happy, we are sure it won't last long
167. Because it's too late, Rory's grown-up, he missed it
168. Because he can't tell whether Lorelai's kidding or not
169. Because Lorelai never went to these things before she and Chris got together
170. Because the parents all thought Chris was married to Emily
171. Because Rory should have been at the wedding
172. Because he’s trying to erase Rory from the CS
173. Because their relationship revolves around the past
174. Because Rory was mad about the wedding
175. Because that wasn’t the face of a happy newlywed
176. Because she only got married as a solution to a problem
177. Because actions speak louder than words
178. Because he assumed that the CS was his house now too, without talking to Lorelai
179. Because he stole her shirt and lied to her about it, for 22 years
180. Because Lorelai won’t speak up about Rory or her relationship with Rory to Chris
181. Because in only half a season, he has gottan the girls fighting twice
182. Because it was weird to have dopey in the house, so she told Sookie ( in the "take your shirt of" epi., to have Max in the house was weird too, she told Rory but she never told anybody that it was weird to have Luke in the house).
183. Because no dirty thought comes in mind when she is with dopey ( with Luke on the other hand ..............)
184. Because he wouldn't let her buy Peauntbutter Captain Crunch
185. Because even Emily thinks he's immature
186. Because he can't even throw a good punch
187. Because the minute she said "not yet" to a baby, he turned away, sulking (very mature).
188. Because he put back her poptarts
189. Because he yelled at Lorelai in front of Emily
190. Because he wants to change Lorelai and Rory's traditions
191. Because he doesn't understand Sookie
192. Because even Chris knows he's only a rebound
193. Because he wasn't there for Lorelai and/or Rory when they needed him the most
194. Because he had no right to tell Luke to leave (7.13)
195. Because Lorelai wasn't even surprised when he wasn't there for her
196. Because even HE knew he was taking advantage
197. Because Rory knew it was never right

Banner By ErinlovestheOC

ABC's of Chris:
A - Absent, Annoying, Ass, Asshat
B - Brother, Boring
C - Conniving
D - Deadbeat, *********, Dopey, Dud
E - Egotistical
F - Fruitcake, Frivolous
G - Goddammit (what we say whenever he is on the screen)
H - Helpless
I - Irritating, Irresponsible
J - Jackass, Jealous, Jerk
K - Knucklehead, Kid, Know-it-all
L - Loser, Liar, 'Larry'
M - Minute man..oops two-minute man
N - Never around his daughter without Lorelai involved
O - Often weak
P - Pisstopher, Pain to many...especially Lorelai
Q - Quirks that are not quirky in a cute kind of way
R - Really really immature
S - Spawn of Satan
T - Terrible at realizing best moments in his life was his daughters' births!
U - Unable to say no....
W - Weak...that comes up alot
X - The missing link of evolution? nah...too much credit
Y - Yells alot
Z - Zippy...just wish he would leave town as fast as his lips flapped

Christopher's pretty Nicknames:
St. Dopey - The Saint of all Dopes
The 2-minute-man
Daddy of the year aka SuperDad aka Once a year-daddy
Larry
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for more Dopey hate .. visit the Old Thread

onebreath · 06-05-2022, 12:35 AM

Tftnt!

onebreath · 06-05-2022, 12:38 AM

Here's Chris being an ass (but what else is new) to start the new thread.

stellar_dust · 06-05-2022, 07:36 AM

He is the biggest ass in that episode. I hated him before that, but complete hatred of the biggest loathing set in right then. He could never be redeemed after that.

onebreath · 06-05-2022, 01:42 PM

Yep, agreed. There was no coming back from that for redeeming him and he never did anyway. There was a small window where he could have (when he pays for Yale), but then when he takes advantage of Lorelai's emotial state by sleeping with her, that was it. He's the completely irredeemable ass yet again.

stellar_dust · 06-05-2022, 04:50 PM

It's not even that redeemable since he only offered that because he was fortunate to inherit money. He'd never offer Rory anything if he hadn't.

**Lindsay** · 06-05-2022, 10:10 PM

TFTNT!

Ugh is all.

onebreath · 06-06-2022, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stellar_dust (View Post)

It's not even that redeemable since he only offered that because he was fortunate to inherit money. He'd never offer Rory anything if he hadn't.

So very true. He'd probably continue on not being in contact with them. Honestly, I'd prefer that.

Like you would know, you deadbeat.

Also, I never find Chris attractive, and when he has that short hair it's even worse, it's the complete apposite of finding someome attractive. He's just extra slimy looking.

stellar_dust · 06-06-2022, 07:44 AM

He was so gross to Lorelai in that scene. He doesn't like being hit with reality and then he ends up yelling at Lorelai, when she's just trying to help. It's never his fault with Chris. But then I also hate when he calls Lorelai later to apologize but his apology becomes about himself when he moans about him being a bad dad and Lorelai has to make him feel better.

onebreath · 06-06-2022, 11:39 AM

As I always say, she coddles him WAAAAAY too much.

stellar_dust · 06-06-2022, 01:37 PM

She does and I don't understand why.

onebreath · 06-07-2022, 12:42 AM

I don't get it either. It's pathetic tbh because she should have been calling him out, not making him feel comforted when he feels sorry for himself and acknowledges he was an absent father.

stellar_dust · 06-07-2022, 03:31 AM

It's a character flaw with Lorelai. Chris needed to be called out far more often than he was. Actually, how often was he ever called out? Luke did and Rory did, but was that it?

**Talula78** · 06-07-2022, 05:35 AM

Tftnt!

Haha, Lindsay, that’s what I say in regards to CL-Ugh is all.

onebreath · 06-07-2022, 11:35 AM

I'm pretty sure they were they only two. But it should have been Lorelai who did it.

I fkn loved when Luke did it though. GO LUKE! Tell that ass what needs to be said!

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Fan Forum > TV Shows - Past > Gilmore Girls > NESHBE #88: Because we CAN make Chris the bad guy here!