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NITL(anti-Rj) 34: Jess is a Mess. How could he be the best?
Not In This Lifetime :: Where the hate never dies :: "Only say NO if you really DON'T want to be with me" "NO!" ASP intended Rory and Jess to end up together, they gleefully claim. Call us skeptics. + Who We Are + We are a group of Gilmore Girls fans that absolutely dislike Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano and their 'relationship', if it can even be called that. We truly think the show would have been better off without it! Despite our sometimes long and rather intense rants and discussions, we really are friendly and love to meet new people. Haters and lurkers alike, please don't be shy! Come in and vent to your heart's content! Any defense of these two is purely satirical. ~Character NITLs~ Lorelai Gilmore Luke Danes Emily Gilmore Dean Forester Logan Huntzburger Lane Kim Christopher Haden Taylor Doose TJ (Gary) Jimmy Babette Miss Patty Mrs Kim ~ Reasons ~ 1. Because he's selfish 2. Because he ran away without saying goodbye 3. Because he said ILY and ran away 4. Because NO was what she said when he wanted to leave with her to NY 5. Because they never talked 6. Because he screams at her and leaves her devastated 7. Because he ended up not taking her to her prom and not coming to her graduation 8. Because she moved on 9. Because storming in and out isn't our idea of a relationship 10. Because he was rude to her mom 11. Because both Lorelai and Emily think that Jess isn't good for Rory!! 12. Because he is hated by the Swan! 13. Because he causes fights between L/L 13. Because he is not Rory's Luke 14. Because he thinks only about himself 15. Because Miss Patty never flirted with him 16. Because he has really bad hair 17. Because she is stronger without him 18. Because he enjoys getting into physical fights 19. Because "chip on your shoulder" is not attractive 20. Because he broke his promise to Luke 21. Because of him, the town ganged up on Luke 22. Because he had to be bribed to go to FND 23. Because all they ever had in common was books...and you need more than that for a relationship 24. Because he lied to Rory 25. Because he yelled at her for not being ready to have sex 26. Because he trashed Kyle's house 27. Because he blew Rory off....for WALMART 28. Because he makes Brian Hutchins look pretty good 29. Because he didn't have the first idea as to how Rory should be treated 30. Because he disobeyed the Beach boys, and left his best girl home on a Saturday night 31. Because he didn't call, and Rory had to spend Friday night cleaning her keyboard 32. Because he stole Pierpont 33. Because Rory wasn't impressed by his little magic trick (2.05) 34. Because he's "way more screwed up than you think he is" 35. Because Lorelai wanted to smash an enormous cream pie in his face 36. Because his own mother kicked him out of the house 37. Because their kisses were like a couple chickens pecking at each other 38. Because he wanted her to run away from Yale and Stars Hollow 39. Because he didn't have the guts to tell Rory he wasn't going to graduate 40. Because he turned Rory into that girl "who lets her boyfriend treat her like dirt and then lies to her mom about it" 41. Because she's soon-to-be his cousin 42. Because even after reading the self-help book, he was still clueless 43. Because Lorelai asked Rory for permission to spit in his face 44. Because had expectations out of line with what he deserved 45. Because Jess can't afford to bargain with Rory when he can't take care of himself. 46. Because "Dodger" is not a romantic nickname 47. Because Rory said it best. He doesnt know her. 48. Because less than 24 hours after his return to Stars Hollow, and Lorelai already wanted to kill him 49. Because Luke warned him to stay away from her 50. Because he and Rory are "ancient history" 51. Because he called himself a loser 52. Because Dean was right, Jess treated Rory like dirt 53. Because in the case of a fire we would save our shoes instead of Jess 54. Because he thought he could make Rory's feelings for Dean go away by stealing her bracelet 55. Because writing a book is not enough to make you a good person. Even Paris Hilton wrote a book. 56. Because he was going to climb out her window, even though Sookie prepared a special dinner for him. 57. Because "the verbal thing comes and goes." Yeah, that's right, when something he doesn't want to deal with comes up, it's gone. 58. Because if Richard had been at FND when Jess came, there would have been a funeral on the show. 59. Because relationships are built on honesty- like the honesty Jess showed by not telling Rory that he stole her bracelet, and the honesty Rory showed by not telling Jess that she was friends with Dean. 60. Because he's an "abonimable thug" 61. Because "he belongs in jail" 62. Because we just want to slap that monosyllabic mouth of his, too. 63. Because "Lord Jim has decided that cell phones are beneath him." 64. Because he's an animal abuser- 'cause, c'mon, swans don't just attack people. They have to be provoked. 65. Because he was responsible for the case of the missing baseballs. 66. Because even Milo knows that Jess is wrong for Rory. 67. He didnt think she could be an overseas correspondent. 68. He had the nerve to call both Dean and Logan jerks, when he was the one who was the jerk. 69. Because he snores. 70. Because Luke kept giving him chance after chance after chance, and he still lied to him. 71. Because everything's fixed does not mean come and get it 72. Because Rory pulled away after they kissed 73. Because his book is so easy to skim (That was a quote by April) 74. Because he admitted that doesn't even know what love is. (Love, huh?) 75. Because even birds can get stuck in his gel filled hair. 76. Because even Rory called him a punk. 77. Because nothing says love like ignoring your Great-uncle's funeral. 78. Because Slacker does not mean true love. 79. Because even Luke admits Jess is not right for Rory...she needs a prince...(like Logan) 80. Because she never said that she loved him. 81. Because he called Lorelai ma'am 82. Because he made her question her dreams 83. Because Rory is good natured, and Jess is just...NASTY! Not a good combo! 84. Because he doesnt fit into the merger 85. Because he wouldn't accept the life she wants to lead. 86. Because he doesn't support her dreams, and barely has any of his own. 87. Because a successful business woman living a new york slob life doesn't make sense 89. Because he's a schmuck 90. Because he only brings more sad faced Lorelai 91. Because no means no 92. Because he was just the default guy for Tristan 93. Because he was brought as just another conflict for L/L 94. Because he’s Holden Caulfield on Crack "I’m sorry, but when my daughter comes home BROKEN I get to HATE the guy who broke her!" ~Members~ Pamie from Television Without Pity (Recaps Here) Tv Guide MrsGiggles tathynha rory_n_logan fox24 MizzLurk28 princess isabel Raja PiCkLeS4dAwSoN XSonata LobstersForLife blueyed_18 JuliaSofie esimonse Xtacy Angelcakes_UK Shinystar go_clo rexsgirl29 daritah Cblotnicky SmashinglySweet Giuly labrador barbeegurl00 Meg85 senoritalena catkirk7 Sibyl TeamLorelai sheerdancer84 AlwaysHoldingOn genki Hellojojo Biohazard ROCKSTAR ALuv Miss Jewelry Anna-wa Cheldax46 NateScottLover AllieCat60 scott family Miss Sullivan jensinger allybubba ACE732 Brianna<3 Icey_/ ellen-cheerleaderx RoryandLoganforever China Tequila musicalredhead TL22 La flauta newmanium Venetia Captivating[ Talula78 "That kid is WAY more SCREWED UP than you think he is." ~Our NITL Alphabet~ A - Arrogant, annoying, abnoxious, air head B - Bully, brat C - Condescending, callous, closet stuffer D - Drop out, deadbeat, disrespectful E - Exculpatory F - Flunkie, Fatuous G - Gel, gel overloader, gel boy, groper H - Haircut, hangover inducing I - Irritating, irrational, irate, ignoble, inimical, immature J - Judgemental, jerk, jejune K - Klepto, killjoy, knave L - Loser, liar, lame M - Moron, monosyllabic, mean N - Nasty O - Obnoxious, ornery P - Pig, pugnacious, prank caller, puerile R - Rude, runner S - Stalker, self-centered, selfish T - Tacky, terrible, tongue shover U - Useless V - Vile W - Whiny, wasteful S6 storyline Y - Yuckey X - 'Cause that's all he is to Rory Z - Zero "How can you let your daughter be with that ABOMINABLE THUG?" ~Memorable NITL Quotes~ Jess: What are you sleeping with him or something? Lorelai: Excuse me? Jess: I don't know. The whole starry eyed 'you're so much better off, just give it a chance' speech. You're either really naïve, or you're getting some. Lorelai: Ugh. There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous cream pies you can just smash in someone's face, but this is definitely one of them. ------ Luke: Where's Jess? Lorelai: Outside working on his "Breakfast Club" audition. He's getting good. Luke: What? Lorelai: Luke, I'm sorry. That kid is way more screwed up than you think he is. ----- Luke: You stay away from her while you're here. Jess: Stay away from who? Luke: You know who I mean. Jess: Gee, you're so cryptic. Luke: You've done all the damage there you're gonna, okay? ----- Emily: How can you let your daughter be with that abominable thug? Lorelai: Mom – Emily: First he arrives late, how disrespectful is that? Then he’s rude to Rory, rude to me. Lorelai: Mom – Emily: Oh, and that attitude – I wanted to slap that monosyllabic mouth of his. And God forbid they’re in another accident together or his heap of a car breaks down and Lord Jim has decided cell phones are beneath him and they’re stranded in the middle of nowhere. How can you let this happen? He had a black eye. He belongs in jail! ----- Lorelai: I know you think that Jess is your friend, but he’s not. He is a completely out of control, really angry kid who has no respect for Luke, who has no respect for me. . . ----- ~Jess' Rules To A Successful Relationship~ Rule 1: Use words..not sentences. Rule 2: Its sex--not making love Rule 3: Tell her off if she chooses not to comply with your sexual needs. Rule 4: Throw her out like trash Rule 5: Romance is sex in the backseat of a car. Rule 6: Why spend time with your girlfriend when you can work at Walmart? Rule 7: Mocking family portraits is the way to go. Rule 8: There is no such thing as too little hair gel. Rule 9: Being rude to her family members is A-OK. Rule 10: Mock the rich lifestyle because working at WalMart will never get you there Rule 11: Play the victim--its works everytime Rule 12: Treat her like dirt--she'll keep coming back for more. Rule 13: Don't take her where she wants to go--do what you want Rule 14: Keep her waiting for your call on a Friday night Rule 15: Pick on animals, swans are a good choice. Rule 16: Tell her to run off with you and live in a sack Rule 17: Tell her current boyfriend he is a jerk when you were one Rule 18: Always yell at her when something doesn't please you Rule 19: Always run away when things get ugly. Rule 20: Tell her you love her, but drive away right after that. Rule 21: Make a move towards her even if she has a boyfriend. Rule 22: Make a move towards her if she shows up where you are alone. Rule 23: Always tell her a lie, doesn't matter what the lie is about. Rule 24: Leave without saying goodbye. Rule 25: After you leave, prank call her all the time. Rule 26: If she does something you don't like, she's wrong. You're right. Rule 27: Meet her family for the first time with a black eye Rule 28: Only go to events with her when you see her ex boyfriend Rule 29: Don't listen to the advice of a self help book Rule 30: Make sure she is home on a Saturday night waiting for your call. Rule 31: Even if you are wrong, you are the only one with the right to be mad. Rule 32: Have fights with her current/ex boyfriends Rule 33: Remember that you are perfect--everything else must be fixed. le 34: Steal the bracelet that her boyfriend gave her Rule 35: Only go to family dinners when your being bribed Rule 36: Mock those who love you and want to help. Rule 37: Stick your nose in where it doesn't belong--cause problems. Rule 38: Take credit when problems YOU caused have been fixed by others. Rule 39: Blame other people for problems you caused Rule 40: Leave without telling her where/when/why/ Rule 41: When she goes to a certain event alone, that automatically makes her single and available no matter what her dating status was when you left her. Rule 42: Use your wal mart money to buy yourself out of an argument. Rule 43: Stalk her until she gives in. Rule 44: Disappear into a bedroom and she will come and find you. Rule 45: If nothing else is available, a tree is a good make out place. Rule 46: No matter the situation, no mean yes. Rule 47: Taking something from someone you care about without asking, is always BORROWING not stealing! Rule 48: Take whatever you want, whenever you want. If people look annoyed, dont worry. Its because they secretly wish they were you Rule 49: You can miss as much school as you want for wal mart--you are smarter than anyone and everyone Rule 50: Bras in the backseat are a sign of your manliness. Collect as many as possible Rule 51: You are automatically the smartest person in your class if you read and defy other peoples property by writing in the margins of there books Rule 52: Say you don't deserve rejection even though you do Rule 53: Refuse people's help--my rules are all you need. Rule 54: I am God...remember that Rule 55: Don’t aspire for much---that’s not my style. Rule 56: Put your uncle and Girlfriends mother in the position they to tell her you left town Rule 57: Never apologize for your actions Rule 58: Never Learn from your mistakes Rule 59: No matter what people say, you fixed her by yelling at her and repeating the same thing 500 times Rule 60: When something happens that you dislike--use the magic line "what's going ooooooonnnnnn" and repeat it as many times as necessary! Rule 61: Mock two people who actually have a real friendship Rule 62: Always have a scowl on your face Rule 63: Always answer in a monosybolic answer Rule 64: Don't make any effort to make any body feel welcome(Logan might not have been on his best behavior, but Jess didn't exactly go out of his way to make him feel okay) Rule 65: Yell at a girl that you haven't seen for two years Rule 66: Run away after you wrecked someone's car Rule 67: Mock two people who actually have a healthy relationship Rule 68: Simply because people are connected to you or the ones you supposedly love in some way, shape or form, does not automatically mean that you have to be nice to them. Rule 69: If someone offers you a coke, and you accept it even if you don't like the coke, that automatically makes you the friendliest and most chatty one in the group Rule 70: Relationships are all about compromise...that is..her compromising her life for you not vice versa. Final Rule: If all else fails, write a book. Holidays May 20th, May 11th and April 11th These dates were the airing of the 3 episodes that showed the best NITL scenes ever! Rory rejecting and cutting off Jess for good! Avatars Music Videos Now We are Free by labrador Megaupload Youtube Call Me When Your Sober by Undeniable Megaupload YouTube Goodbye Philadelphia by Angel883 Youtube Fanfiction It Happened One Night One Way Ticket to California Jess' Journey to Love Screwed The Book of Love Rory Gilmore's Sex Tape Begin Anew Ten Years Later World's Together In the Rough Jess's World Crumbles Therapist The Breakup Interview YouTube - Milo talks about Gilmore Girls and Heroes. __________________
HarveyღDonna / CastleღBeckett / LukeღLorelai / ChuckღSarah / MatthewღMary / AnthonyღKate / CharlesღLiza / MulderღScully ~Jen~ Icon: tellmewhyxx Last edited by Talula78; 11-30-2020 at 02:03 PM |
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Joined: Sep 2005
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Thanks
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You're welcome.
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HarveyღDonna / CastleღBeckett / LukeღLorelai / ChuckღSarah / MatthewღMary / AnthonyღKate / CharlesღLiza / MulderღScully ~Jen~ Icon: tellmewhyxx |
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Joined: May 2012
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You know, out of Rory's three boyfriends, Jess was the only one she did not have sex with? [Smart girl.]
He also did try to force himself upon her. |
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Joined: Sep 2005
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One of my main reasons I am not a lit. I dont care in what bad mood you are you do not yell at your g like that
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He’s not a character I’d wish for my heroine to be with romantically. He’s a RED FLAG guy if there ever was one.
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HarveyღDonna / CastleღBeckett / LukeღLorelai / ChuckღSarah / MatthewღMary / AnthonyღKate / CharlesღLiza / MulderღScully ~Jen~ Icon: tellmewhyxx |
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I am sure Emily was condemned for her actions when Rory invited Jess to dinner at her grandmother's house, by most RJer's.
Actually her observations were quite accurate. What usually gets me is all Jess had to do was tell the truth, but he was one of those individuals that would rather tell a lie, even though the truth would have served him better. What a cretin. |
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Which episode was that in? I want to revisit that scene to see what you’re talking about.
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HarveyღDonna / CastleღBeckett / LukeღLorelai / ChuckღSarah / MatthewღMary / AnthonyღKate / CharlesღLiza / MulderღScully ~Jen~ Icon: tellmewhyxx |
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Quote:
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Fan Forum Hero
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Quote:
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HarveyღDonna / CastleღBeckett / LukeღLorelai / ChuckღSarah / MatthewღMary / AnthonyღKate / CharlesღLiza / MulderღScully ~Jen~ Icon: tellmewhyxx |
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Emily was trying hard to be nice to him. She was nicer to him then luke and Dean.emily can be a classist but her criticism had nothing to do with his upbringing. We joked that if Richard had been there would have been a funeral lol.
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Joined: May 2012
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All Jess had to do was tell the truth. I know a novel concept for him.
You know even in the four episode run on Netflix Jess still didn't have sex with Rory. It seemed to me at the end Rory had sex with a lot of people in a small time frame, but alas, not Jess. You know with Jess's attitude and demeanor I doubt any girl would sleep with him. Hmmm, Jess a thirty something virgin. |
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 54,234
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Lol. I do think he did it with shane but that's funny
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Quote:
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HarveyღDonna / CastleღBeckett / LukeღLorelai / ChuckღSarah / MatthewღMary / AnthonyღKate / CharlesღLiza / MulderღScully ~Jen~ Icon: tellmewhyxx |
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