Best Quotes Survivor

Funny:

1) OUT!

2) Abby: So how was it... last night with the surgeon?
Elizabeth: It was... splendid.
Abby: Splendid? Is that British for hot and sweaty?

3) OUT!

4) Morris: Ever been at a crossroads?

Abby: (silence) Who do you think you’re talking to?

5) Patient: Are you married?

Susan: No, I’m a doctor.

6) Robert: You are one Grade-A b***h! You know that, Kerry?
Kerry: No Robert, I'm you boss. And as long as I am, you're my b***h, now get your ass back to work.

7) Elizabeth: (about Romano) He's a horrid little turd, isn't he?

8) Elizabeth: Did I miss the dedication?
Carter: More like Post-Mortem payback.

9) Carter: Umm. Earlier, with Lucy and I. I'm sure that you have your suspicions about what we were doing in there. But, actually, we were just..
Chuny: Knocking boots?
Carter: What?
Chuny: Doing the old nasty? Hey, the more the merrier, I say.
Carter: Actually we weren't doing anything.
Chuny: Mm-hmm.
Carter: I mean, she's a med student, you know? I'm a..resident.
Chuny: That stuff happens all the time.
Carter: Lucy's like- Lucy's like a little..sister, or something, to me.
Chuny: Ah. You do that with your little sister?

10) Lydia: [Doug] is unbelievable.
Carol: Yeah. Now I remember why I slept with him on the first date.
Lydia: Really? First date?
Carol: Yeah, he rang the doorbell, the next thing I knew we were rolling around on the kitchen floor.
Lydia: Kitchen floor?! I gotta start dating again!

11) Carol: All those times my mother tried to teach me Russian.
Doug: All those times your mother yelled at me in Russian.
Carol: Yeah, well you deserved it.

12) Corday: No! NO! NO!! This can't be happening. I haven't had so much as a nap in the past 24 hours. Rounds are about to start. I need to take a shower, I smell bad, and you're giving me a patient that's as sick as a dog? What does that say?!?! (points to clock) What does that say?!?! 6:38 I'm not on call.
Doyle: Hey, we've all been there.
Corday: Oh, Shut up!

13) Robert: Uh, Lizzie, how much would you pay for my sperm? ... I mean, who knows what the mother's side is gonna bring to the party, but as for my side of the genetic divide, I can guarantee a significant advantage over the other spermic competition.

14) OUT!

15) Kerry: Carter, take our little friend here. I'm afraid I might stick an IV pole up his ass.

16) Carter: Hey, you guys just missed a good one. I sent a guy straight up to the OR. Perphed his intestine with a carrot.
Carol: A whole carrot?
Lucy: How do you swallow a whole carrot?
[Carter and Carol look at her]
Carter: Didn't swallow.

17) OUT!

18) OUT!

19) Dr. Melvoin: [To a fresh group of interns] You are wedges. The wedge is the most primitive tool known to man. That is you. You think you know what you're doing, believe me, you don't. Breakfast with your Senior Surgical Resident Dr. Benton will begin in 15 minutes. Dr. Benton is an intern's worst nightmare. He's smarter than you, he never eats, he never sleeps and he reads every medical journal no matter how obscure. He is the Antichrist. Beelzebub. Lucifer. A devourer of wedges. You will go to sleep at night wishing plague and pestilence on his unborn children and you will wake up every morning praying for his approval. You won't get it. Welcome to hell, ladies and gentlemen.

20) Kerry: Did you even take the Hippocratic Oath?
Romano: I had my fingers crossed.

21) Kerry: [showing medical students around] Most interns send their samples without knowing what happens once they're there. Let's pretend we're a urine sample and find out.

22) Carter: I just think TV is a vast wasteland
Abby: Oh I'm *sorry* I meant to watch 'La Bohieme' on PBS last night but I had to go to the symphony.

23) Mrs. Raskin: I have this hangnail, and it's very painful.
Mark: I have a brain tumor, and it's inoperable.
Mrs. Raskin: What?
Mark: I win.

24) Malucci: Does she have a pulse? Whoa, she's dead...
Luka: I know.
Malucci: Like, blue-dead.
Malik: Pulse ox is 65.
Malucci: That's because she's dead.

25) Romano: [regaining consciousness after his arm is amputated by a helicopter blade] Oh no. I'm at County. [passes out again]

26) Luka: Why do you have to make such a big problem about everything? Like you have an insect in your anus.
Abby: Okay, it's "bug up my ass", Luka. Bug up my ass. If you're going to insult me you could at least get the words right.

27) Mark: Bad news?
Doug: No. Just got denied a loan by a bank whose motto is "We loan money to anyone."

28) Carol: [entering the lounge, all the doctors stare at her] Is something wrong?
Benton: Oh, you bet there is. We're out of coffee again because the nurses have been taking it, that's what's wrong.
Carol: So make some more.
Benton: Make some more? We work 36 hours on, 18 off, which is 90 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. For that, we are paid $23,739 before taxes, and we also have to *make* the coffee?
Carol: My heart is breaking.

29) Kerry: Dr. Malucci, if I don’t see you standing over a patient looking compassionate and engaged in the next 30 seconds, you’re gonna spend the rest of the week doing nothing but disenpaction and yeast infections!

30) Frank: That’s what you get for bringing Weaver in on Halloween. You know it’s the biggest holiday of the year for her kind
Pratt: Lesbians?
Frank: No, Wiccans. She’s probably riding that crutch around like a broom.

31) OUT!

32) Neela: Dr. Lockhart, would you like to give a second opinion?
Abby: Sure. Your ankle may be broken and you're a total bitch.


Serious/Emotional/Inspirational/Moving:

1) Mark: See, there's two kinds of doctors. The kind that gets rid of their feelings. And the kind that keeps them. If you're going to keep your feelings, you're going to get sick from time to time. That's just how it works.

2) Romano: I know most people don't like me; I don't care, I don't like most people. But I'm good at what I do. I save people's lives. Every day. If I can't do that...

3) Susan: I always knew you loved your children, but I never realized how much you fell in love with them. Little Susie was like a story book, every smile a new page to be poured over, touched, remembered... I loved my storybook. For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel so alone.

4) Mark: Dear ER Gang,
So here I am, out on the beach at 5:30 in the evening. Elizabeth is drinking juice, but I'm all about the mai tais. The sun is going down, Rachel is dipping Ella's toes in the ocean as they head off on their quest for the perfect seashell. Weirdly enough, I find myself thinking, you know what would make this moment complete? Some jogger dropping to the sand, short of breath, so I can sweep in with a piece of bamboo to perform a nice, clean intubation, fix the guy up, and send him off with a good, simple dispo. Which I guess is my way of saying I miss you all and that dingy place. Lots of times I thought I should have chosen a different career or gone into private practice, something easier, less grinding, more lucrative, but since I've been gone, I realize that outside of doing what I'm doing right now, sitting on this beach with my family, staying at County all those years, doing what we do on a daily basis, was the best choice I ever made. I know what you're thinking, but trust me, it's not hard to appreciate once it's over. As much as a part of me would like to believe that the ER can't go on with out me, the smarter part realizes that you are an incredible group of doctors and nurses who approach every day with such skill, compassion, and thoroughness, that when it comes to patient care, I know my absence will hardly be felt. As for friendship and camaraderie, that's another matter. In order to leave, I had to go the way I did, but I wouldn't want any of you to think that I didn't value each of you and the years we worked together, or that I didn't have things of a more personal nature to say. Most of you, I think, have an idea of what those things might be without me writing them down, but still...
Ella is laughing and waving for me. Rachel found her shell.

5) Elizabeth: It may not seem like it but... I know what you're feeling, I... understand what you're feeling.
Patient's Father: I'm sorry Doctor, but you don't know what I'm feeling. You don't have any idea. I don't even know.
Elizabeth: (long pause as her emotions well) My husband... his name was Mark and he died. My God, I was about to say last year, it was only 6 months ago... I tried to pretend once Mark was gone that I could pull myself up, continue like normal. But it doesn't work like that. You see you can't run away from it. It's like this big, relentless wave that you *have* to ride... but in riding it somehow you hold onto what you've lost... and you find a way to go on without shutting off. It's not easy but you do it. I know, someday soon, when you look into your child's eyes all you will see are the beautiful things that live on in him.

6) Carol: I've spent years, years of my life, changing to fit your needs, working around your schedule, your insecurities, your inability to commit. Well, you know what, Doug? It's not all about you! I know that may come as a shock, but a relationship is give and take; two people as equals, and right now I need something! So you can grow up and accept it, or you can go on being the same selfish, self-centered bastard you've always been, and refuse to give me the one thing, the one thing I've ever asked you for!

7) Carol: I have to go find out.
Luka: Find out what?
Carol: If he's still in love with me... because... I'm still in love with him. I am. I've been in love with him since I was 23 years old. He's everything to me. He's my life. I feel complete when I'm with him and I feel empty when we're apart. He's the father of my children... and he's my soulmate.

8) Carter: When you've done all you can sometimes more, you have to walk away knowing you fought the good fight...you fought the good fight today, Lucy.

9) Abby: Forget Superman, I'll take Mark Greene"

10) Doug: Long night huh?
Carol: Yeah.
Doug: You're not coming with me are you?
Carol: Are you really leaving?
Doug: There's nothing for me here.
Carol: I'm here.
Doug: I mean work. I can't stay here.
Carol: Not even for me?
Doug: Come with me.
Carol: I want you to stay here.
Doug: I can't.
Carol: I don't understand that.
Doug: I have to go, Carol. I can't stay here. (He starts to leave)
Carol: (tearful) Doug - (He turns to face her) I don't want to wake up alone tomorrow!

11) Romano: You had better choose your battles very carefully, Kerry. You are the Chief of Emergency Medicine. Not the County's lesbian advocate.
Kerry: That's where you are wrong, Robert. I am the Chief of Emergency Medicine and I am a lesbian. And if you pursue this matter any further I'll take it to the County Board of Supervisors, the ACLU, the press and anyone else who cares to listen. So I suggest that you choose your battles very carefully.

12) Morgenstern/Mark/Carter: You set the tone.

13) Carol: What were you thinking? What could you possibly have thought would happen tonight? That you would show up on my doorstep at midnight, drunk and I would find that as some sort grand gesture of love? That I would invite you back into my life, into my bed? Is that what you imagined would happen tonight? You have no right to even think about doing this.
Doug: I'm sorry.
Carol: Do you think you love me? For how long Doug? How long till you start wondering if there isn't someone better in the next room or the next bar? How long until that little voice in your head reminds you of all the infinite 22-year-olds you could be screwing tomorrow, or the next day, or the next? I will not let you do this to me again.
[exits]

14) Carter: If there's anything you want me to tell everyone...?
Elizabeth: Tell them... it’s been lovely.

15) Abby: First of all...first of all I love you. I do. And you've helped me through a lot. And we got here together with a beautiful little boy. And I was thinking of a poem before, actually before when I was getting ready and I think it starts:
'I carry your heart in my heart. I am never without it. Anywhere I go, you go...'
I'm probably messing the whole thing up...but I think the end goes:
'And this is the wonder that keeps the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.'
So I guess what I'm saying is lets just try to love each other and...persevere.

16) Abby: I just want to say that you have probably seen me at my best and at my worst. And even though we didn’t always see eye to eye, you helped me go from a nurse, to a med student... to a doctor... to a mom.
Kerry: I’m the one who is supposed to be upset here.
Abby: I know! Sorry.
Kerry: You were always there as a nurse and as a doctor, but most importantly l you’ve always been here as my friend.

17) Kerry: I’ve trained residents, I’ve saved lives... I even ran this place. I loved it, and I’ve probably gotten more than I’ve given, but now it’s time to go.
Pratt: Dr. Weaver, what are you saying?
Abby: Kerry...
Kerry: It’s easy here, it’s comfortable, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to stay.
Morris: You’re gonna go to Florida?
Kerry: Yeah. I mean, after Sandy died, I... I thought I got over it, I thought I moved on but I felt stuck, like I’m treading water and it’s taken a few years but now... I’m finally ready to move forward. So, if you’re ever in Miami then turn on Channel 6 and that’s where you’ll find me... and if I’m not there, I’ll be on the beach with my son.

18) Abby: Hi! I’m sorry, but don’t you think this is kind of ass?
Board member: Excuse me, who are you?
Abby: Abby Lockhart. I used to be a nurse in the ER, I am now an attending physician, as of today.
Board member: You’ll have to be on the agenda.
Abby: Yeah alright, let me break it down for you. What we do is take care of the patients that nobody else wants to deal with, alright? The homeless alcoholics, drug addicts, psychotics - all of us, especially the nurses, put ourselves at risk every day - EVERY DAY! And when the wards don’t want to go over the nurse-to-patient ratio because they want to follow the rules, guess who sucks up the surplus?! The ER does! And never mind that that means having admitted patients parked on gurneys in the hallways for days AND that our nurses have to cover three times as many patients as anybody else, we’re the safety net! We do not have the luxury of abiding by the rules because... we don’t kick patients out on the streets. So, we get creative, and yes it’s against the rules to send a patient home with an IV because worse-case-scenario, he’ll do something stupid, but... Sam Taggart is not a worse case scenario kind of person! None of us are! Because to work down there, you have to have to have some sort of faith in people and in your ability to help them! She didn’t inject the drugs into the IV! The patient did - and what would you have her do? Deny a potentially life-saving treatment because the guy maybe, might do something stupid later? I-, she’s an excellent nurse!... And she did what almost anybody else would do, and she should not be punished because a patient made a bad choice. I mean, we have SO MANY things working against us! Don’t be another one of them. *clears throat* And they all deserve a raise...Don’t make me come back here.

19) Susan: You know what? That's it. I'm done. You're all out of here.
Co-ordinator: Excuse me?
Susan: Every observer, all the little girls: OUT NOW! This drill is over.
Co-ordinator: You can't do that.
Susan: I'm the Chief of Emergency Medicine and I damn well can. We don't need this drill! We had a helicopter crash in our ambulance bay for God's sake. So you can take your little clipboards and your little Ranger Scouts and hit some other sucker hospital, because my doctors and my nurses need to get back to treating real patients with real problems. You got it? (turns around and sees the whole staff is staring at her) Back to to work!

20) Mark: Don't cry for me.
Rachel: I won't.
Mark: Be generous... always.
Rachel: I will. Daddy... I remember the lullaby. I remember you used to sing it to me every night. I remember.

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