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Gay and obsessing about Zayn
OK, I don't care if haters will throw insults my way because I'm gay. I'm just here to vent.
For the last couple of days, Zayn has been on my mind almost all the time, and I don't even know why. I'm in love with someone else already: a straight friend who'll probably never love me back the same way I love him. I've loved my friend in an obsessive kind of way for more than 3 years now. He's away and I feel lonely and neglected. To be honest, that's how I feel even when he's around, except when he's nice.
So I've been browsing through some of Zayn's videos and... I'm not sure how to describe my feelings here. They're probably some sort of crush/temporary obsession.
He's soooo cute, and when he cries, that just gets my emotions flowing. And the time when he refuses to dance because he's afraid... weaknesses get to me. I love helping. I can go on and on about his beautiful physical features,(eyes, lips, cheeks, hair... etc) but that's not why I crushed!
I really don't get why he has the least followers on Twitter. He's the best looking!
Yeah, I don't really know anything about Zayn, nor does the vast majority of his fans, even if they know facts and numbers, it's not the same as knowing the person. So, I've got nothing that explains my "crush", but a crush is something you can't control, right?
I know I'll never have the slightest chance with Zayn, so I'm not hoping for anything. It's just that it would be nice to know his reaction to having gay fans. And I want to get him out of my mind, but I have to admit that thinking of him gives me a break of life's stress and pressure.
Zayn, I don't want to dream of you tonight, or any other night. I want to dream of the one I love. I just hope to have a positive influence on both your lives.
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