stlavin95

MistyMountainHop

Red's Diary Entry: #13

The Swimsuit Issue

Someone stole my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Yesterday I hid it in the garage for safe-keeping. I keep it there ever since Kitty confiscated my copy a few years ago. She says its smut. That’s crazy. There’s no difference between a football player in shoulder pads and a swimmer in a swimsuit. These women are athletes. There’s not an ounce of fat on them! Kitty eventually gave the magazine back, but only after she scissored out all the pictures. Anyway, since then I keep it hidden behind the handsaw in the garage. And today, it was gone.

I headed down to the basement to look for the culprit when I was intercepted by Kelso. When I told him what happened, he volunteered to use his police training to help find who did it.

I suggested Fez but Kelso explained to me the first rule of a police investigation: never go with the obvious choice. And, besides, swimsuit models were too tame for Fez. "Two-piece bathing suits are two pieces too many," he’d say.

We crossed off Eric because Donna would think the magazine is sexist and Eric’s afraid of Donna. He needs permission just to watch I Dream of Jeanie.

Next I suggested Kelso, who got so offended that I would accuse an officer-of-the-law-in-training that he threw his arms up and out from under his shirt fell my magazine. He tried explaining to me the second rule of a police investigation: never ignore what’s right in front of you. I told him not to ignore what’s behind him which is my foot going in his ass.

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That ‘70s Show diary entries copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC.

MistyMountainHop

Double-posting because I like to keep the T7S diary entries a separate post, but I want to comment on the latest one for Red.

It's so OOC. It's totally season-7 Red (who is, again, OCC). Red was not into looking at other women. It's not his way. Season 7 added that aspect to his character (with the car show and the muffler shop calendar), but no.

I almost didn't post that diary entry because of how out of character Red is written. It would've worked better as one for Bob.

Grazzhopper

MistyMountainHop

That's how real!Red would've reacted, at first, to Fez expressing any bit of his horny, objectification of women to Red. Then Red would've threatened to kick his ass and tell him a) to wash his brain out with soap and quit thinking of women as just their bodies and b) never to talk to him about this subject again.

Despite Red's old-school chauvinism (e.g., men do the barbecuing, believing Laurie would be fine due to her looks and getting marries), he's not a cliched porn-obsessed husband who wants to have sex with anyone but his wife. He's the opposite. He doesn't like porn (we learn this in the episode where Donna finds Eric's stack of nudie mags), and he has no sexual interest or attraction to other women besides Kitty (before season six retconned this part of him ).

Grazzhopper

stlavin95

I did like that part of Red

MistyMountainHop

It was (and still is) refreshing to see a long-time married couple have the hots for each other, have an active sex life, and be attracted only to each other. It's sad to say that depicting this kind of relationship on a TV sitcom was an anomaly at the time T7S originally aired and not a norm, but it is one of T7S's highlights.

Grazzhopper

A sad fact, but their marriage as all the more enjoyable for it.

MistyMountainHop

Kitty and Red chasing each other up the stairs for intimate fun time is one of the more adorable (and plain awesome) consistent parts of their relationship for the first four seasons.

Grazzhopper

MistyMountainHop

Also Red's consistency about Kitty being the person he most (and, really, only) wants to spend time with.

stlavin95

Always loved those moments

MistyMountainHop

Red and Kitty's relationship during seasons 1-4 give the show an optimistic undertone, imo. They're the foundation of safety and guidance for the kids.

stlavin95

They sure were