| Fearlessღ |
12-13-2007 09:47 PM |
Can i? :flowers:
Quote:
My sweetheart,
I once heard someone, somewhere, say that a person’s life should not be weighted in years but in moments of true happiness. I believe that to be true now…
I believe, because every time I am asked how old I am, I think not of birthdays and dates; but of my moments with you and our children.
I can hardly remember a happy day when you weren’t there, and I can never imagine happiness at all without Alexander and Sophia. The very sound of their names puts a smile on my face. Who would’ve thought at the beginning that we would have such beautiful and precious little gifts to love and care for?
I think I knew from the very first date that I wanted to spend the rest of my time on this earth with you by my side, loving you, treasuring you, calling you my own; I could see us building a home together, rising a family. How was I to know that reality would be a million times better than my dreams could ever be?
I remember when we first found out we were having a baby, our initial doubt, maybe hesitation. Were we ready? We wondered, still so very young. Now I know we were. Do you recall the day we heard his heartbeat? How moved I was. How amazing to know that we had created life together, that our love would become whole with this child, with our child.
The very first thing I bought for him, when the doctor told us we were having a boy… I can still see your face like it was yesterday. The look in your eyes was so tender, and we still have that blue beanie with the booties. Tucked away in that chest with the pictures and the letters, and the dried rose petals of the years gone by.
Alexander Gregory David Efron. How proud I felt when we named him, such a strong name for our strong little boy.
And then that day… that beautiful spring day when he came into this world. Our miracle, our baby, so gentle and soft. Our son.
He was tiny and delicate, he was a part of you and the best part of me.
How can I describe what I felt, how can anyone put words to such a feeling? It’s just not possible. He looked so fragile, little fists clammed tight, big brown eyes that sparkled like the stars. I never knew love could be so powerful, I never knew you could feel so at peace when listening to your child’s newborn cries. I was so nervous to hold him, yet so excited. And when they finally placed him in my arms my own tears could no longer be contained.
Then the first night at home, a sleepless night, a wonderful night. He rested quietly in his crib, and neither of us could sleep wanting to make sure he was alright. We would check if he was breathing, if he was cold, if he was comfortable. We would just stand there looking at him… making sure this was all real; he was here, he was ours and it was a little scary.
But we made it through, didn’t we my darling? It had its ups and downs, but we did it, together, strong and in love. It felt like I had fallen in love with you all over again, so much deeper, better, stronger than before.
We looked over him and learned right along side him. Savoring every moment, every memory undeletable in our minds. We saved his first curl, took pictures of everything, recorded his first steps and ran to write down his very first word. “Dada”.
How sweet his voice was. And there it is in the baby book, scribbled down in my best handwriting.
And then, a couple of years later, we were blessed once again. Can you believe how nervous we were to tell Alex? And he was only four years old.
He just smiled with those high cheekbones and told us he wanted to have a baby brother to play ball with. We wanted him to be happy, but we also wanted a little girl.
In all truthfulness, I didn’t like the idea to keep the baby’s sex a secret at first. But I wanted to please you my love; and on that warm summer day I realized just how wonderful an idea it had been all along. I swear I heard the angels sing when she was born.
The doctor held her up for us to see her, and we were greeted with the most gorgeous baby girl in the world. He put her in your arms and I could see your hands shake, the smile on your face, the tears that pooled in your beautiful eyes. It was just like the first time all over again. I kissed you and you kissed me, and together we kissed her soft rosy face. I never wanted to let go.
Her name… it had to be the right name for a princess, for a doll, for a flower in bloom. It took us days until we found it, everybody wanted to know, and there’s never been a sweeter name in this earth ever since.
We called her Sophia Annabelle Charlotte Efron.
Our little Sophie, our little ballerina in her pink satin dress. Frolicking around in a garden of lilies and roses. Her mommy’s favorite colors, and hers too in time; pink and red. And lilac… remember that purple feather boa she would take everywhere? I think it was a gift from Ashley.
She was so different from her brother in every aspect, light and night, to this day. Sharing our genes and each of us was all they had in common. His hair wavy and blonde, hers curly and brown. Alex’s eyes a deep shade of auburn, Sophie’s a piercing blue. She has your nose and he has my smile. She danced, and he played the guitar. He was all sports and cars; she surrounded herself with dolls and china tea sets.
Two perfect sides of the coin.
Two perfect images of ourselves that have brought me so much joy and laughter, so much love and tenderness. That have made my life whole and, with you, have put all the pieces of the puzzle in their place.
We are a family and we are one. I want nothing more than to be able to hold you all forever and be there when you need me. Share your smiles and wipe away your tears. For all of that, and so much more… if you ask me how old I really am; I will only say that I am too many happy memories to count.
Always yours, me.
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