[Lemurian]

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. -- James A. Baldwin





***Message From Mods***

Please post all issues related to romantic relationships on this thread. All other threads started on this board that should be here instead will be merged into this thread or closed. Thank you.

*****************

[Jaymez_NY]

thanks for the new thread

love wasn't something I wanted to talk bout much 2 weeks ago. I was having seconds thoughts.

[~Unfaithful~]

Who hasn't at some point or another though. It's those thoughts that make you a normal human being.

[Jaymez_NY]

true that. but my 2nd thought came to a point where it was ALMOST over for good. niether of us wants that, though...just that she can be very I mean VERY difficult at times. drives me nuts

[genetrix]

cool

[~Unfaithful~]

Originally Posted by Jaymez_NY (View Post) true that. but my 2nd thought came to a point where it was ALMOST over for good. niether of us wants that, though...just that she can be very I mean VERY difficult at times. drives me nuts

I've been married to my husband for 5 years and we've been together for 11. we have done some really awful things to each other in this time. Like soap opera awful. I am surprised I am still married sometimes, I have the greatest husband because he puts up with me I hope your difficult girlfriend realizes how hard she is to deal with, and loves you even more for it.
She may not, it took me until recently to realize how good I had it.

[Yellow Mustang Girl]

Originally Posted by ~Unfaithful~ (View Post) I've been married to my husband for 5 years and we've been together for 11. we have done some really awful things to each other in this time. Like soap opera awful. I am surprised I am still married sometimes, I have the greatest husband because he puts up with me I hope your difficult girlfriend realizes how hard she is to deal with, and loves you even more for it. She may not, it took me until recently to realize how good I had it.

It sounds like you have some life wisdom to give good advice

[Lemurian]

Originally Posted by Yellow Mustang Girl (View Post) It sounds like you have some life wisdom to give good advice

That's what I was thinking as well.



............Someone IRL asked me an interesting romance question today.

I was saying that I intended never to get into another relationship because my last one went about as bad as it possibly could go when my ex became supersonically evil.

And the person I was talking to said, "Why is that any reason not to give the other guys in the world a chance to know you?"

I never thought of it like that before.

[mad lil' duck]

I had the same thing for three years, not giving other guys a chance because I bumped into one "bad" guy...I realized this very late, and know that I am letting guys into my life again, I sort of keep bumping into the bad ones...It's like I attrack them or something it bugs me...

I do know I'm not the easiest girl in the world either, very difficult sometimes and I'm totally picky and probably very very hard to get too...

The guy I was normally going to date last Sunday cancelled on me last minute, and I totally went all "well then I don't want to anymore either" on him...It's just so blah...I dislike blind dates, but when I finally want to have one, you'd better not cancel on me takes one back like ten steps again

Is anyone else like that? If the guy really tries to get the date and you just wait and see...But eventually grant him the benifit of the doubt and do want to date and if he then cancels on you, you just don't care anymore? I gave him a chance now didn't I?

[MsPerfectionist]

1 month with Eric today i made him lunch & went to his work place with my lovely tart.

[AutumnColorsღ]

That cartoon is too cute. I use to do that when I was younger with my first love. I wrote in my diary the first time dates for everything we did.

Sarah- I agree with Carol, you do have some life wisdom. I can also be a difficult woman and Im just thankful I have a guy who can understand me, and forgive me for when I have my bitchy moments, and mood swings.

[RedRooster]

Originally Posted by Tyra from *NOL (View Post) 1 month with Eric today i made him lunch & went to his work place with my lovely tart.

Time sure flies by

[~Unfaithful~]

Thanks everyone. I don't have a lot of experience per se, since my husband was only my 3rd boyfriend since 4th grade but we've been through a lot. And I wouldn't have married me, or at least the me I was in high school/ until I had my first child.

It's true what they say about how having children changes you. We used to fight so bad that we would get the cops called on us. I tried to control everything he did all the time, and I would do stupid things when I couldn't. I blew up the engine in my car by revving the motor when we were fighting one time. I threw a fit because he wanted to go to Georgia to visit his dying uncle for a weekend and there could be girls down there. I was essentially the bad girlfriend.

But now, I am a great wife. He has allowed me to stay home and take care of our 2 kids. I baby-sit while they are in school to make a little bit of money. He works 3rd shift and is looking for a day job as well because he knows that I have people anxiety at work and it makes me miserable. He is great. All of my friends said if they could find someone like my husband they would marry him. So I am lucky.

With that I've learned not to take advantage of what I have. I treasure every kiss. every hug, every I love you because you never know what could happen tonight, tomorrow, next year. And I came from divorced parents who should NEVER have married, who dragged me into the middle of their crappy life, and I vowed I would never do that to my kids. I would give them "normal" parents who love each other.

My friends say they hope when they get married they are still lovey-dovey 5 years in and still kiss and stuff.

[J@NeY]

I am not one for asking for relationship advice at all but i've come to a point where i don't know what to do anymore. After reading what Unfaithful said about how her relationship used to be, reminded me a lot of mine.

My boyfriend and I have been on/off for like three years now. He asked me to marry him three weeks after we got together when we were in Vegas, but we didn't due to my brother stopping us. Then we planned to get married last year, but i fell pregnant with our daughter and i didn't wanna get hitched looking like a whale. He took it as i didn't want to marry him. Since then we argue all the time. He is so jealous and overprotective it drives me insane - We get the cops called for our fighting, i've smashed up his car, he's threw my jimmy choos out the window ( ) and so on. I never get jealous, but with him i have been and that drives me nuts i hate feeling that. Two nights ago he asked me to marry him again and I said i need to think about it because all we do is fight.
I do love him, when it's good it is soooo good. He loves his daughter so much and treats my son as his own. But this fighting can't be good right? He'd never lay a hand on me, but we get in each others faces a lot. Never when the kids are around, but i sense my son picks up on the bad vibes between my boyfriend and I. I don't know what to do, how can we get married if we fight like this - But i can't think of anyone else i'd want to be with for the rest of my life. I am at a loss. It's like ehhh, how do we stop the fighting?? I have tried.

[mad lil' duck]

Maybe the fighting is based on issues that really aren't that important after all :s Of course I don't know why you're fighting in the first place. But mainly fights start because you misinterpret or misunderstand eachother...I think both of you just need to try talking things through, what bugs you, what bugs him and find a silver lining, because the way things will evolve now...doesn't look good...

Jealousy is a hard thing to get under control, but you'll always have to consider that at the end of the day you are at home with him, taking care of him and your children...You're probably telling him you love him...Maybe you should focus more on the good than on the bad...And ask him for the reason you make him jealous...It could be something really stupid like "you laughed at that guy too friendly" or something, things you can work on might come out in the open when you talk...

I'm not an expert, far from it, but talking might just be what you guys need, maybe even get someone involved, being the referree or something. Someone to stop you guys before you start shouting...

And do tell him that he's te one for you, that you feel like you don't want to lose him, but that getting married now may not be the sollution. Things have to go good, before things can get better. And I think you'll both enjoy a wedding more if you're both in it for 100%