Bethany Joy Lenz - Bethany's Advice Column

~Maz~ · 10-18-2004, 08:05 PM

So, word has it Bethany will be doing a weekly advice column at The WB which i think is pretty damn cool of her. So anyway I thought this deserved its own thread. We can discuss her advice every week. Do you think she gave good advice? Have you ever been in the position of the person asking the question? What advice would you give? Etc...

Ask Bethany:

http://thewb.com/Shows/WithFormat/0,...eehill10182004

Quote:

OTHBOYSRSEXY wrote:

Okay, so I'm a fairly outgoing girl except when I'm around guys that I like. I become extremely shy and nervous around them. What is your advice for overcoming shyness around guys and letting your true self shine?

Bethany:

There's just something about the male sex, isn't there? Maybe it's their stature, or their strength, or that deep voice and rough manner-- whatever it is, they are somehow capable of making women nervous and at ease all at once. And you know what? I think it's AWESOME that you are shy around guys! It says that you have a healthy respect of them. I truly believe that deep down every man wants to feel like a warrior and every woman wants to feel like a princess.

There are so many things out there in the world today that tell girls they have to be "tough" and "pursuant" if they want guys to like them. In fact, I just read something in a teen magazine yesterday that was telling girls how to "pretend they don't like a guy" and "play it cool, so he doesn't know." These things are not only manipulative, but they are damaging. Our feminine hearts were meant to be vulnerable and protected, not tough and "independents." Those things are a lie. The truth is: a REAL MAN will want a woman who is soft and vulnerable... after all, how can a guy be a warrior if the princess is defending herself? Men were made to defend.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying "roll over and let guys walk all over you." Stand up for yourself and be strong and be a pioneer and be brave, but don't lose your femininity in that. Don't lose your ability to be vulnerable, because vulnerability is BEAUTIFUL.
So, the guy you like is just sitting around waiting for YOU to make the first move? Well, chances are that if he's not willing to take the first risk and ask YOU out, he's not going to be willing to take risks to defend and protect you during your relationship. And that will NOT be fun. You'll end up feeling let down, and he'll end up feeling like a coward. And you are too precious for that! You deserve to be pursued (contrary to everything you may read or hear about the "modern woman").

REMEMBER: You are a rare gem, precious and deeply loved. You don't have to advertise yourself or convince guys that you are worth dating. If a guy needs convincing, he's not the one for you. The man who IS right for you will be able to see past any "shyness" (which he will think is wonderful, by the way), and he'll fall in love. Meanwhile, don't let your identity be defined by whether or not guys like you. KNOW the truth, BELIEVE it, even when you're not "feeling" it, and the right one will come along when you least expect it! After all, wouldn't you rather be surprised?

heart packed in ice · 10-18-2004, 08:11 PM

OMG! I totally loved this! So sweet!

Unfortunately, I will have to respond to this tomorrow since I really have to go to sleep. I have two tests tomorrow! Be back tomorrow

dare.you.to.move · 10-18-2004, 08:46 PM

I think it's very sweet of her to take the time every week(?) and write this column. She rocks! She'd be a great friend to have.

WildFire070 · 10-18-2004, 08:57 PM

Wow!!! I absolutely love her unique point of view. She's very encouraging and a great writer.

carriebear22 · 10-18-2004, 11:08 PM

Wow...I love that Joie is finally getting some recognition from the WB.com. I think her advice was perfect, she is so insightful and impowering to women. I

she's awesome.

SweetSymphony · 10-18-2004, 11:14 PM

I think Bethany absolutely rocks for doing this!..She's just the sweetest thing ever..I hope this is a permanent thing..I would love to hear what she has to say to questions that other people/children may have.

heart packed in ice · 10-19-2004, 12:49 PM

First off, I agree, it's so cool how she does something like this! I wanna send in a question too

Quote:

These things are not only manipulative, but they are damaging. Our feminine hearts were meant to be vulnerable and protected, not tough and "independents."

Aww...I like the way she said that. I think it's good that she is saying that girls/ women don't have to be a certain way, you should just be yourself.

Quote:

Men were made to defend.

I definitely agree with this.

It doesn't matter who it is, wheter brother, dad or boyfriend or justa friend, if they are male, they are there to protect you

I love everything about this column and I really think Joie made a bunch of good points with her response. Way to go!

Idlewild · 10-19-2004, 07:44 PM

I love Bethany's advice simply because it's so honest. She is the most considerate of her fans out of any celebrities I "know."

Just love her. And since she's a relatively private person, this is the only way we can get to know the real Joie.

sprinkle13181 · 10-20-2004, 04:43 PM

This column is so great, I'm glad she has a chance to reach out and share her advice. She's so passionate!

Joy · 10-22-2004, 01:54 AM

I love Joie so much. Her thougthful ways. She is so nice and charing in the way she responded to the question it was deep and meaninfull.
She is such a kind person. I do agree with her in her advice. I think she rocks and she just prove it to me one more time.

I hope it becomes a regular thing.

~Maz~ · 10-22-2004, 01:28 PM

I posted this thread, but I didnt geta chance to come back and say how much I loved Joie's advice. She just sounds so nice and caring and feminine in her views.

And she expressed them so beautifully. She really has a way with words.

sprinkle13181 · 11-01-2004, 09:26 AM

Yeah I agree! I love it because it doesn't sound fake or contrived. You can really tell she believes in what she says and sticks to it! Can't wait to read her next column!

dare.you.to.move · 11-01-2004, 05:11 PM

I thought this was supposed to be a weekly thing. There wasn't one last week.

Well, can't wait for more.

~Maz~ · 11-01-2004, 08:07 PM

Yeah, I heard it was going to be a regular thing, but i'm not sure. Hopefully there are gonna be more.

SweetSymphony · 11-01-2004, 09:06 PM

I hope there's more..I was really looking forward to reading Joies advices.

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