Chris Bauer/Fred Yokas Appreciation Thread #8 ~ Life Is a Highway
 

:shrug: I can't separation my emotions and a situation on the fly either.

That's why I try to remember to take the time to think about it.

I try to take the time to think about how I'm going to react.

99% of the time, it doesn't happen.

So I guess when I say I'm trying to get better at it, what I mean is that I'm working on remembering to take that time when it happens.

Do you take the time before you know a situation is coming?

Or during the situation?

I do it before, and am usually wrong about the way it goes. :lol:

I never know when a situation is coming. :lol:

Never, ever.

I keep getting surprised by them.

And, as you say, even when I try to anticipate things, I never getting right because you can't predict what other people will do.

So I have to try to take a breath during the situation.

Like I said, I don't usually even remember to try to do that, so it doesn't happen very often.

But, when I do manage to do it, it's during the situation.

Ah, I tend to feel something coming, before it does, though never specifics.

I know what you mean, about not knowing when they're coming though.

I was like that for a while.

That's exactly it-there is no way of predicting how others will act react.

That's a fabulous time to stop and take a breath, if you ask me.

I wish I could.

You're certainly ahead of me if you can see tense situation coming.

Because the tension always surprises me.

So all the ability to take a moment in the middle to breathe in the world doesn't really help me.

I'm just trying to figure things out.

That does explain some of my anxiety though.

I physically and mentally feel tension, whether directed at me or not, coming from a long way away.

And that makes me anxious-anticipating.

My instinct is to either fight or flight it, especially when I know it's coming.

So I still think you're ahead of me in trying to take a second to figure things out.

I would imagine you're much more aware of what causes you anxiety than I could be.

I can't imagine not feeling anxious when there's a room full of tension, but that's me. :shrug:

I never have a reflex to fight it, though.

I'm all about running away.

But I am trying to change.

Yeah, it does cause me a lot of anxiety.

Whether it's good for me or not. :lol:

I would have such a hard time changing.

I tend to avoid change more than I try to get away from a situation.

I'm seriously impressed you're working on it.

Yeah, it causes you and everyone else anxiety to be in a room full of tension.

It's the normal response, I think, to that situation.

Don't be impressed that I'm trying to change.

For one thing, I'm no good at it.

For another, the only reason I'm doing it is because I don't have a choice.

Change happens whether we like it or not.

So my options are to always be miserable about it or to trying and work on my reactions.

:shrug:

Since I don't like being miserable, I'm trying to find an alternative.

Believe me, I'm looking for the alternatives that will require the least amount of change on my part.

Okay, well, trying is a good option.

For me, I don't feel change happening.

I get that-about being miserable or changing.

I either change without noticing, or avoid it. Not sure which.

I hope it gets easier for you.

That is starts to come more naturally for you.

I can't tell if we're talking about the same thing, so I may be repeating myself here and forgive me if I am.

But I don't mean that I'm changing all the time so I'm trying to get used to that so that I'll be less miserable.

I'm saying the world around me changes all the time and I have such a hard time with change that it makes me miserable.

So I'm trying to be less miserable by working on my reactions to change.

To change and to tense situation.

To basically anything that puts me in a place where I'm reacting to a situation or person instead of taking charge of my life.

Change does not come naturally to me, at all.

But I don't have a choice, because that's life.

Okay, now I get where you're coming from.

You're working on changing your reaction to change.

That makes sense-that you're wanting to be in charge of your life, rather than just reacting to change.

Okay, now I feel like I've managed to explain it in a way that was clear.

Finally. :lol:

It only took, like, six exchanges. :lol:

But, yeah, I don't like change any more than the next person.

:lmao: sometimes I'm really confused easily.

And once confused, I have a hard time seeing what's going on.