[There You'll Be]

That is all so true.

And I tend to forget how complicated people are-especially given different situations and circumstances.

Yes! I so misinterpret what people are saying, often, so I totally relate to that.

And I really forget I'm allowed to mess up.

I'm also always really afraid others will misinterpret me, and what I say, and I go over and over and over it in my head.

[sunnykerr]

For my part, I also know that I tend to expect others to be mean to me, so I tend to interpret what they say that way, you know?

When, I'll bet you anything, most of the time, it's just a misunderstanding and they're not being mean at all.

What they're saying just comes out a certain way and then I understand it a certain way.

So I get all hurt and they're defensive, because that's not what they meant at all.

And it becomes a whole mess.

It's like that on my mother's side of the family, which is easily the most understanding side of my family.

So can you imagine how we're all walking on egg shells (and pissed about it) on my dad's side of the family?

Meanwhile, we all love each other, so it would be nice if we could all just relax, you know?

[There You'll Be]

I do know.

It would be awesome to all relax and be around each other in our families.

That's supposed to be the safe place, you know?

My homes were always that way, till Mom got divorced both times.

Always on eggshells and people getting defensive because of misunderstandings, and people feeling hurt.

It's a big mess. Of course, we didn't love our step dad, it was just complicated trying to live around him and relax.

I totally get why it's hard when ya'll get together.

You love them madly, but they drive you batty at times.

[sunnykerr]

I don't think family is unsafe because we can't read each other's mind.

I mean, we wouldn't be human if we all agreed all the time and never had differences of opinion.

I'm sure it would be nice to not anticipate difficulties, but then it wouldn't be reality.



I mean, I know that what you went through as a child/young woman in your mother's house was traumatizing.

I didn't particularly love being at my dad's house when I lived at home either.

I realize that's not the same as what you went through.

I'm just appreciating the fact that the situation has changed.

Even when I do visit my dad's house, it's not the same as it was back then.

If nothing else, I'm older now and even if we all forget that sometimes, I always remember that eventually.

[There You'll Be]

That's the hard part-remembering we're grown up, and different now.

[sunnykerr]

It's such a relief, though.

[There You'll Be]

I just have to remember now.

[sunnykerr]

It gets easier every time.

[There You'll Be]

That's good to know.

Cause it's hard to remember it will get easier.

[sunnykerr]

Fortunately, you don't have to remember that.

It does get better, whether you remember or not.

At least, it does for me.

[There You'll Be]

That makes good sense to me.

Things are definitely getting so much better here, since I'm not coming from a place of childhood anger.

[sunnykerr]

I think it's legitimate to be angry about thing that happened to you when you were a child.

I know I am, about stuff that happened to me as a child.

But if I keep reacting as though I was still that powerless child, that's when I feel like I'm the one harming myself, you know?

Because I'm not that powerless child anymore.

Anyway, that's how I feel about it.

[There You'll Be]

I do know what you mean.

If we are still reacting like that, we really are impacting/hurting ourselves at this point.

I think your feelings about it are right on.

[sunnykerr]

I realize it's not easy to move on.

So I'm not saying that lightly.

But I do think it's possible to be smart in our emotions.

Sometimes anyway.

[There You'll Be]

I think you're right.

There is some amount of goodness that comes from it, too. Learning.

Being smart in our emotions, when possible, and we're able, is a great path to take.