LilMouse

Nah, the very first time I saw it and the twist of cop = Vincent's brother was revealed, I wanted to rewatch it knowing the twist, just never got around to it. And I keep telling myself I will re-watch it I just never get to it.

I sometimes think in general that it's a miracle humans are here today considering the very stupid things doctors thought in the past. Bloodletting really works as a treatment, you know

And if you know beforehand that you'll see this person, it gives you time to think up something.

oooh that reminds me of a Lucy Worsley documentary I saw on Hampton Court and how they had these spikes in corners (that still exist today) that were supposed to discourage men from peeing.

I feel like outside of the palace ended up being safer/cleaner than inside a palace.


I was largely thinking of a situation where men like Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler (old rockstars or old and unattractive billionaires) somehow get twenty-something year old girlfriends. Everyone knows they get these young women because of money and I just couldn't do it. If I lived in some universe where any of these rich, old, and not cute men wanted to hook up with me, I'd turn them down no matter what.

I can understand dating an age appropriate man who isn't maybe that great looking if he has a great sense of humor and treats his significant other with a lot of respect.

sunnykerr

If you think about how so many things should have prevented any of us from being born, it's insane that any of us are here.

And don't let me start on bloodletting. You're okay with cutting open a person who needs all their energies to recover from an illness because you think there are tiny parts of their blood none of us can see that need to be "balanced" but it doesn't occur to you that people catch diseases from micro-organisms you can't see?

Plua, they believed bad smell was the cause of disease. How could you even tell what was a bad smell from the usual rot?


I think I'd rather be surprised. I have a tendency to talk myself out of things. Or, you know, chicken right out.


God, I love Lucy Worsley. Her documentaries are awesomesauce. So I started buying her books and she's also awesome at that You can really hear her voice in her writing.

I will never forget how the bedroom where Jane Seymour died is the place where they have their staff meetings.

And I totally agree with her when she says the only reason Jane stayed Henry's favourite wife till his death is because she died before he could fall out of love with her.


See, in situations such as that, you see a gold-digger, and lord knows I'm not saying you're wrong, but I see a predator as well. They get away with it because they're rich, but it's also a fame and power thing.

And any relationship predicated on one person having all the power... I will forever find creepy and disturbing.


I hope even a good-looking guy would have to have a good sense of humour and to treat his SO with respect. I mean, I know what you were saying. It just occured to me that the sentence was funny.

LilMouse

I think it's like when people say your own sh** doesn't stink, so when it's rot you're not used to then you smell it

I wanted to get her audiobooks, particularly:
If Walls Could Talk and The Art of the English Murder but I keep holding off. Have you read them and should I just bite the bullet and get them?

It's a shame that what I imagine to be a once ornate room is now a dull room with white walls.

And she gave him the son, so he never would've divorced her because of that.

yea, they are predators. It's really gross when your oldest child can say they're older than a step parent.
And I don't like a woman being a lot older than a male, either. Like Aaron Taylor-Johnson and his wife Samantha. She groomed him and should be called out on it.



Somehow good-looking men don't feel like they need to try as hard, sadly.

sunnykerr

I may be misunderstanding you here. I was raised by a nurse, so I often mistake where people are going when talking about bodily functions. But it is true that we mind our own smells less than we do that of others.

It's kinda why people can start to stink as they get older. Our olfactory senses dull a bit and we're used to the way we smell, so... we literally can't smell how bad we stink.


I'm so the wrong person to ask. If The Art of the English Murder (the book, I mean) wasn't so darn expensive, I'd have bought it ages ago. I love If These Wall Could Talk. And, well, she made a documentary series of them that seems to be presently on a certain website where people share videos more or less legally...

Honestly, though, the woman could interest me in the history of... I don't know... something I'm really not interested in. I'm just trying to say that I'm the wrong person to ask. As far as I'm concerned, you should always say yes to Lucy Worsley.


It is a shame, but we don't know (at least, I don't know) that there's anything that could have been done. It's easy to think that this was a recent development, but William and Mary lived in that castle and put their stamp on it as well. Maybe they're the ones who destroyed the Tudor decor in that room. Maybe there was a fire or carptenter ants. We just don't know.


Hard to know, really. Most historians agree that Henry wasn't himself after she died. Whether he had mental illness, concussion syndrome, malaria... whatever the reason, he switched from being your run-of-the-mill "I am a king, everything I say is right" to a tyrant.

I'm sure Jane could have done better with that Henry than, say, Anne Boleyn who was no wallflower. But he really wasn't in his right mind at all. Who knows how he might have treated her, even then.

I don't think it's right when the woman's that much older either. For me, there's the difference in age, but also the age the youngest person was when they first met.

You can have a certain gap in the ages, but if you were both adults when you first met... I mean, it's not automatically right either. Because, again, who has the power in the relationship? But if you met as consenting, lucid adults... I'd be more willing to accept a bigger gap in age.

It's people who met when one of them was a child, have an ongoing relationship of a sort where one is a child and the other is an adult... and then there's a romance. I'm thinking of Celine Dion and her husband or Woody Allen and his former stepdaughter-now-wife. How do you switch from seeing that person as a child to seeing them as a sexual object? I'm comparing two different situations here. By all accounts, Celine was passionately in love with her husband and Woody is a pedophile. But... it does creep me out.

And I don't have a ready example of an older woman doing the same. I vaguely know who Aaron Taylor-Johnson is and I don't know his wife at all. I assume you've got it right, but I don't know them enough to talk about my impression of their relationship.


And, of course, the same holds true for good-looking women... I would imagine.

This is the part where I sometimes feel like I'm an alien. I can see that some people are, objectively speaking, better looking than others. But that has no meaning to me. And I don,t mean to say that I'm "above" any normal human reaction to that human beauty. Just that...

OK, an example. I grew up at a time when Brad Pitt became the big hot thing. Johnny Depp was another one. And, like, objectively, I could see that they were good-looking. But it didn't make me appreciate their movies any better or make me want to see them more. I never had fantasies about what I would do if I ever met them... Or whatever normal teenagers do. They were just good-looking actors in the world who did movies that, for the most part, didn't particularly interest me.

I did see Legends of the Fall. I thought the younger and older brother were more interesting. And better looking.

LilMouse

No misunderstanding

My uncle, his wife, and one of his daughters are heavy smokers. So whenever I go to their house, the smell of smoke is so strong and gross, and I ask myself how can they possibly live in such a smokey house? Do they not notice it?

Or I remember years ago a friend of mine was moving house. And the people who lived in it before her REALLY stunk it up. It had to be aired out for days. Again I wondered, did the former owners not smell their own stink? How could they not?

YouTube?

I do have 11 credits to use before end of Dec. Maybe I will use them on. Lucy W stuff

True, good points. It makes me want to go back in time and yell at people who are contemplating knocking things down to not do it. I'd scream at them that they're destroying history.

But if he had divorced Jane, wouldn't that have made Edward illegitimate (the way Mary and Elizabeth became illegitimate)? He couldn't have risked his son and heir being viewed that way.

It is kinda funny to me how (where I'm from) 18 is the magic age where you can be a consenting adult. What kind of magic takes place between 17 and 18 that all of a sudden a person is mature enough to handle an adult relationship?

Woody should be thrown in jail. And in Woody's case, I don't really know if he wants to separate his stepdaughter/wife being a child + being sexual.

It could be that you didn't know these actors personally that made you not care about them. Maybe it's intelligence or sense of humor that interests you more than a nice smile and symmetrical face?

sunnykerr

Sometimes even other people don't spot how pungent cigarette smell can be. My dad and his wife are invited each year to her brother's house a couple of days after Christmas. I went with them once. It hit me like a wall as soon as they opened the door.

I was uncomfortable the whole time I was there and had to use my asthma pump just to get through it. And still my dad would argue with me "they don't smoke inside the house." Have you tried telling their house that?

Because I didn't see anyone smoke inside, but it felt like walking into an ashtray.


Right in one.


According to my dad, my grandmother "swapped" valuable older furniture sets for more fashionable stuff (and, thus, rapidly useless) following some persuasion by a salesman. I mean, I never saw the older stuff (obviously) so it's hard to tell if it was genuinely valuable or just old.

My point is that destroying valuable historical character happens all the time, to everyone, under all kinds of circumstances.


I'm not 100% sure, but I think that, as long as he was king, Henry could keep whichever ones of his children he wanted legitimate regardless of divorcing their mothers. I mean, Henry's father only had a claim to the throne because his mother (Magaret Beaufort), an illegitmate daughter, was made legitimate after the fact.


Here, the laws on statutory rape allow for a small "window" of leniency, if you will. I'm not quite sure what the actual law says, but it's not statutory rape if there's less than 4 or 5 years difference between the partners and, of course, if the partners are consenting.

So it would be statutory rape for a 40-year-old to have sex with a 17-year-old, but not for a 21-year-old to have sex with a 17-year-old. So the passage from 17 to 18 is less legally important than the gap between the partners. And that lines up with my own beliefs.

Maturity in adult relationships is such an intangible thing, though. I totally understand what you're saying. And I agree. I honestly agree. I just don't know how you go about calculating that. Some 22-year-olds have more maturity than some 50-year-olds. Doesn't mean I'd want to see a 22-year-old and a 50-year-old in a relationship.


I never knew much about the personal lives of Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or many actors growing up. But the second part of what you're saying there is certainly true. I will be 500% more attracted to a person/actor because of their personality (or what they give off anyway) than by their looks.

I've often said of the actors I find good-looking "you have to see them in motion." Because, for some reason, I find people more attractive when they're talking. Again, probably because of the humour/intelligence/kindness they give off.

But they are actors. It is a performance. Even when they're in an interview and being more or less themselves... none of us is 100% ourselves when talking to our doctors or to a prospective employer, are we? It is a performance. We all want to put our best foot forward. And actors are more talented in that department.

I'll bring up Will Smith again. I've been charmed by him for decades now. I don't know if the slap was indicative of a recent development in his private life or maybe he's been "hiding" this violence the whole time. My point is that it's been decades where I never would have thought he could do something like that. And that makes you think twice about forming opinions of people you have never met and wouldn't really know even if you did.

LilMouse

Ugh, I feel your pain. Whenever I'm around a smoker I can't breathe and my eyes water. And I don't even have asthma, so I can only imagine how many times worse it is for you.

And even if they didn't smoke inside, smoke has a way of seeping through cracks and getting in.

My sister (after having a bedroom set for 30+ years) exchanged broken pieces for our grandmother's even older stuff that is still beautiful and in one piece. I can't imagine cheap stuff from today lasting 70+ years.

And there used to be a girl who posted on who would change out her furniture every 5 years. I saw that as a huge waste of money. All she was doing was replacing cheaply made stuff with other cheaply made stuff.
Her mind was boggled when I said the youngest furniture I had in my home was 30 years old.

In a parallel universe, the answer is known for sure

Same. Also because of the fact that what can people of these ages possibly have in common or have to converse about?

It kind of fits in the "don't meet your idols" category. Because if you get to spend a whole 24 hours with them, or maybe 72 hours with them, what behavior are you going to witness that you really don't like?

sunnykerr

I have so many comments. First of all, I don't buy that a couple living alone would not smoke in their own house. They may crack a window when they do, but why would they stop themselves? It's their house. They live alone. Their children are grown. (And are all smokers anyhow...)

Also, I got my asthma from my dad. So I don't understand what's going on with him, but his refusal to acknowledge the stench is some powerful form of denial.


I'm in no position to point fingers. My entire house is furnished with IKEA furniture. And that's not to knock it. It's solid and it's lasted me a good decade now. But if I could afford it, I would love to have "real" furniture. Again, I love history.

At the same time, I have owned three pieces of "historical" furniture. One was an uncomfortable wooden rocking chair my mother had used when we were kids. My SIL "comandeered" it when they had their second baby. I wasn't sad to let it go.

The second is my coffee table, which is super ordinary, but dates from back when my parents were still together, so it's literally older than I am. And it's solid, and I love it.

The third was my bed. When I first had a "bed," it was really just two mattresses on top of each other on the floor. When I was four, we (my brother and I) got real beds. They were the beds my mother and her siblings slept on as kids. It was sort of a twin, but not standard because it was so old. Old but cheap. Long story short, my mother grew up poor. Her father was supposed to be a priest and then, before he ever truly became one, he met my grandmother and the rest his history. So they were poor because he had no professional training and, well, French Canadians back then were mostly poor.

Anyway, when they had kids, someone donated beds they had in their summer cottages. Only, back then, summer cottages were really just shacks in the wood somewhere.

By the time I got rid of that bed, we realized that the entire frame was warped. You couldn't really see it when it was dressed, but all the supports had warped with age and, well, no wonder I'd had back pain for years.

I now have a queen-sized bed from IKEA and I love it. No more back pain.


Honestly, creepiness issues aside, this is my biggest "problem" with couples that have a large age difference. (Again, none of those couples need my approval, but that doesn't stop me from having a general opinion.)

If you have two people who are more or less equally mature, want the same things, met as consenting adults, etc. that's all well and good. But if one of them is starting out their life as an adult and the other is nearing retirement... how does that work?

How it works is none of my business. I just struggle to understand it.


And because I can be quite the cynical person, I will add, if "all" you're spending with a person is 24-72 hours, how much can you trust the behaviour you see? Anyone can probably sustain a decent attitude for a couple of days. Conversely, if you're spending that amount of time with them while something really dramatic is going on in their lives that you don't know about (recent diagnosis, loved one has just died, break-up, etc.), you could be given the impression that they're a "worse" person than they normally are.

Mind you, now that I think about it, there are things that I find quite universal. For instance, I judge people who treat people who have less power than them badly. I don't care how awful a day you're having, it costs you nothing to *not* be snotty to a cashier.

LilMouse

My next door neighbor (the husband) was a smoker. He'd go outside to smoke but that could be because his wife (a non-smoker) made him go outside.

Denial or addiction? Maybe the addiction is so strong that the smell doesn't even matter?

This is another family history you have that could make a great book. I could see the masses eating this up as a love story

I really like this HGTV show - Houses with History. They restore old, dilapidated houses and try to keep the historical elements within the house too.
IDK if you have a similar show to it in Canada? But I hope it comes back for another season



I'm in my 30s and I struggle to relate to someone in their 20s. That's not even a huge gap.

Makes me wonder, what is the amount of time it takes for a person to show their true self? I think it would take a month of constant contact before true self creeps in.
And you still kinda don't really know a person until a stressful situation shows what they're like.


And talk about a short fuse if anything a cashier does/doesn't do is enough to set someone off.

sunnykerr

Every smoker I have known did that. Makes sense when you live with non-smokers. But, in the case of my dad's BIL and SIL, they're both smokers and so are their adult children who no longer live at home anyway. So, I don't know, but aside from cracking a window open, I don't see why they would bother.


But my dad stopped smoking before I was even born. Otherwise, I'd agree with you, for sure. I guess the mystery remains.


My mother's parents really had a true love story, for sure. Locally, poor French Canadiens getting a raw feal from life wouldn't be interesting, I don't think. For that generation, that was pretty much... par for the course.

But it's nice to know there's one couple in my ancestry that truly loved each other. I mean, my parents did, too. At one time.


If it ever aired on HGTV Canada, I missed it. I saw it on a different channel. And it was called something else. We have HGTV Canada and another channel (now called Magnolia Network but it was the DIY Channel before the Gaines launched their channel). And that second channel is, like, syndication for older HGTV shows. Anyway, I loved that show. I really loved it.

I've seen so many HGTV shows just kill the character in older homes, it did my heart good to see one show where they seemed more interested in the history of the house than in making it "magazine ready."


A person's 20s are just an odd period. You've still got a foot in both worlds, really. Like, a person in their 30s wouldn't have too much trouble understand a person in their 40s (barring the usual differences in personality, culture, likes/dislikes, etc.). And the difference between 18 and 24 is so much bigger than, say, 28 and 34 or, better yet, 38 and 44.

The further you get from 20, the more it seems like age differences don't matter so much.


We're getting psychological here. Some people will never show you who they truly are even if you know them for decades, either because they don't know themselves or because they're sociopaths.

Some people, what you see is what you get and the first ten minutes are pretty much all you need.

The problem is, it's not written on our foreheads which kind of person we are. So you just never know if the person in front of you is putting on a show or being themselves. That's the challenge.

I have no patience for people demanding slave-like service from a person working on minimum wage. I have no patience for people thinking a person working a minimum wage job is worth less than a $500-an-hour lawyer.

And, to get back to celebrities, you know how I said that finding out they're a smoker would be an instant turnoff? So would hearing that they, even just the one time, uttered the words "don't you know who I am?" Sorry, but no. That's the magic spell to make me lose all respect, attraction, interest in a person.

LilMouse

When I did commute for work, there was a woman who was a smoker and she'd try to hide the stench with perfume and anytime she came near me I wanted to die. I'd have to hold my breath. IDK how co-workers didn't tell her to stop using the perfume because that made the smoker smell even worse.

I think it could be made interesting. People love hidden history stories. I mean, even though French Canadians being poor isn't unknown, it's also not massively known, and if you can find a hook, people would enjoy it.
It's like how lots of people read that Orphan Train book. People read about history that isn't always pushed in their faces.

I wish I could buy the houses that those people fix up.

I know people love the open floor plan right now. I do wonder how long that trend will keep up and if in 5-10 years everyone will be going on these shows asking for walls to be put up.

The further I get from 20, the more I realize WOW 20-21 year olds really are still kids.

makes me think of the wife/daughter of the BTK filler and how they didn't know who they were living with.

oh yea, that is a bad saying. And it's like, yea, I do know who you are, and guess what, I don't care!
I am glad none of my crushes have been reported to say that (yet) And I hope they never do. I hope I didn't jinx them.

sunnykerr

And when you know that there are people for whom the smell of perfume by itself is offensive... putting it on top of cigarette doesn't feel like a great idea.


Well, yeah. Anyone's story can be made interesting when you find the hook.


I wish I could buy a house. Period. Not even to own a house, because that's a whole lot of work and it's expensive... but I'm looking ahead at when I might want to retire and it's starting to look impossible.


Oh, for sure. It's important to always keep in mind that a 20-21 year old is still a person with a mind that knows itself. But it's still so young.

I mean, being Canadian and having lived my whole life super close to the U.S. border, I have some issues about U.S. laws on drinking age versus the age you're allowed to drive or join the army. But then I remember that the human brain isn't done forming itself until we're about 25...


Well, that's it. I don't mean to imply that there are a whole bunch of sociopaths walking around... I mean, I don't know how many there are because surely they can't all be violent criminals... but a sociopath will change who they are to fit in.

So you could spend your whole life with them and you're never gonna know who they truly are. You could even say that it's not their fault either. It's how they're built.


I've heard of a few local to Quebec celebrities who've said it. Fortunately, none that I had a crush on. I just think... what woudl anyone hope to accomplish by saying something like that, except to show just how self-involved they are?

LilMouse

Every day I become afraid of the future and how I can possibly survive. I want to move to the woods where it's no expensive, but I feel like I have to become a hunter first.

Whenever I go on a cruise with my family, my dad likes to say 10% of people onboard are crazy. And a cruise can usually hold 5000 people, so to say 500 of those people are crazy is

I've never had a bad experience with people on a cruise, though, so I'm not convinced my dad is right.


The one I keep thinking about is when Reese Witherspoon used it when she got pulled over for drunk driving. I get thinking status is going to get you out of the ticket/court date/etc, but how often does it work + that exact sentence doesn't need to be uttered to get out of something, something less serious than drunk driving, because all drunk drivers should be punished regardless of their social status.

sunnykerr

I grew up around hunters and that convinced me I could never do it. Not because they were cruel or weirdos or anything. I just never got to the part where I could be the reason an animal dies...

I'm well aware how hypocritical that makes me because I will eat poultry and fish/seafood. But I'm a massive wuss.


Going on a cruise is fast becoming an obsession of mine. It used to be that I only wanted to go because I'm terrified of water in general. I grew up in the country where camping, canoeing, etc. was something very common and the lake stuff was nightmare fuel for me.

Obviously, I'm well aware that cruising on a ship is worlds away from riding a canoe or kayak... But I do have a water phobia. Anyway, I now find myself obsessively watching cruising YouTubers to try and gather tips and clues should I ever be able to afford cruising as a singleton.

As to 10% of people being crazy... I'd say we're all zome kind of crazy. My mother had a French saying that could loosely be translated as "Being crazy doesn't make your a killer" that she'd pull out whenever someone did something eccentric. I'm inclined to agree with that. We all have our qiurks that other people find insane. I'm not too worried about it.


She's the one we all know said that at one point for absolute sure. But she can hardly be the only one. Or maybe the other ones simply didn't use the actual words but that's what it meant...

I can easily believe being famous has allowed celebrities to get rid of a speeding ticket, though. When I was a child, my mother was once stopped for speeding a teeny tiny bit over the limit on a highway. This was mortifying to her because she's the most overcautious driver I have ever known. I was in the car with her. I remember how ashamed she was and she cut off the police's lecture on the dangers of speeding by saying something like "You don't have to tell me. I'm an OR nurse. We get speeding accidents in all the time. I know what can happen."

As soon as ahe said that, the police was all "you should have told me sooner, now the ticket's been "rung up" (or whatever), I can't undo it." As in, he would have let her go with a warning had he known that from the get-go. And she's just a nurse. Imagine if he'd stopped, I don't know, Juliar Roberts. You don't need a life story to know who Julia Roberts is.

Anyway, my mohter's the type of person who was "happy" to have her ticket since she "deserved it." Make of that what you will. I'm just saying, she's always been big on the importance of taking responsibility for the consequences of one's actions.

LilMouse

I think it has to do with----not only are you the one who kills the animal, but you also have to be the one to skin it, clean it etc etc. When you just eat it there isn't that whole process. And I wouldn't know where to start with the process and then I'd freak out over not being fast enough so then bugs infest my food and I then it becomes useless to eat it.

If you ever have questions, lmk. I've been doing it since I was almost six. I've been so sad to not be able to cruise these past 2 years. We had to cancel 4 cruises because of Covid.

I like that saying and it's a good one to remember when walking past someone who is kinda weird in the city.


Oh yea, my dad took x-rays / CAT scans for a living and he would get out of tickets by saying he worked in a hospital. It's amazing that if you have the "correct" job, just tell them and you can get out of it.

I can see with some people, pulling over a Julia Roberts type, you know someone incredibly famous, would result in a punishment just because the Julia Roberts type is privileged and you want to knock them down a peg.

Your mom has morals, it sounds like.