[secretk]

[secretk]

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[secretk]

Guys as usual feel free to propose better title as I suck at this .

[secretk]

Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post) I have a coworker who is an ENFP married to an INFJ. They have a great marriage. There’s a lot of different factors involved, certainly.

That's interesting. Hm let me think about it.

INFJ functions - Ni, Fe, Ti, Se
ENFP - Ne, Fi, Te, Si

Basically it's a complete set of functions. It's great that it works for them, but I think that it would depend on the ENFP's moral system and INFJ's idea of peace. Fi and Fe could clash in general.

It's awesome that it works for them!

[jediwands]

Thanks for the new one!!!! Title is great!

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) That's interesting. Hm let me think about it. INFJ functions - Ni, Fe, Ti, Se ENFP - Ne, Fi, Te, Si Basically it's a complete set of functions. It's great that it works for them, but I think that it would depend on the ENFP's moral system and INFJ's idea of peace. Fi and Fe could clash in general. It's awesome that it works for them!

Interesting, makes sense.

I rather just end up with an Introvert. I don’t care if balance would be better overall. Haha

[jediwands]

Officially leaving for home now!

[everwoodfan52]

Thanks for the new thread, Koni!

Betty how was the gym?

Satisfying. I only did the bike...4 miles and burns enough calories to take care of my breakfast.

[jediwands]

Nice! I'm impressed with your bike journey, Betty!

[secretk]

Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post) Interesting, makes sense. I rather just end up with an Introvert. I don’t care if balance would be better overall. Haha

I would be good with Intuitives only and yeah either Introverts or Extroverts with good developed Ni because Extroverts with Introverted Intuition are more Introverts than others so the difference won't be huge.

What kind of Introverts do you think that you will like? INFP for example? Do you think that you will get along with them? In other words you want INTx or INFx?

So the reason why I can't say for sure that M is ENTJ is the way he acts around me and this guy he is close to. The way he treats the boss and the jerk is typical ENTJ response. The way he acts with most people in the team (excluding the guy he gets along with) is ENTJ. The way he treats me and this guy is not ENTJ.

In most cases they say that in ENTJ/INTJ interaction at work is in a way where the ENTJ leads and the INTJ provides insight. In our case it's in between. For people it seems that he is leading as he is the guy that talks to them, but behind the scenes I am the one that says what's going on because I am aware of the big picture more and he asks for my input on it.

I get it for the others, but he also does it for him. Instead of him assigning tasks on his own for him which would be typical ENTJ taking the lead and control he comes to me and asks me what he should do next. That's not typical ENTJ behavior. The other not typical ENTJ behavior is that he lets me sometimes make decisions for him. It's nothing big or revolutionary, but I read that ENTJs have issues not being in control in every aspect in their life. He however lets me make decisions like when we will leave the office and whether we will wait for someone. For example today he asked me what he should do after he finishes his task and I told him that I have assigned him another task and I plan for us to leave at 5 pm so this would be enough for him for the next 90 minutes. I basically announced when he will leave the office without consulting with him at all and from what I read ENTJ hate this.

Then once it was 5 pm he first told me that he wants to finish his task. I asked him how long he needs and whether he needs my help and he was like "Let's go". Or yesterday I realized that I had made mistake in the beginning of the week. Basically we have versioning for our code and I had merged code in the wrong branch. So I did something to fix it but someone had to approve and merge the code. O, M and this other guy were talking and M's computer was on and unlocked. I went there, talked to them a bit and then I said "Ah I need to merge something". I turned around, opened a new tab on his browser, entered the place I had to and basically approved and merged my stuff. O and the other guy were like "She could do bad stuff and use your account for it" and he did not react at all. He just let me do it.

Granted sometimes I act as ENTJ at work. As I have to interact with people a lot I use Extroverted Thinking more than what's normal for second function and people see me as ENTJ.

Maybe it's about age. I read that depending on the age ENTJ could be mentors for INTJ and the other way around. So maybe it's more about this than anything else.

Or he just seems this way until he snaps at me big time . This former co-worker I met was like "Oh he is so nice" and I was like "Trust me he can be anything but nice" . She was surprised that he has a side of him that is not nice. So maybe there is that and the jerk and the boss just rub him the wrong way hence his behavior because indeed almost everyone in the team likes him.

[secretk]

Originally Posted by everwoodfan52 (View Post) Thanks for the new thread, Koni!

You are welcome!

Satisfying. I only did the bike...4 miles and burns enough calories to take care of my breakfast.

Nice! That's great Betty!

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) I would be good with Intuitives only and yeah either Introverts or Extroverts with good developed Ni because Extroverts with Introverted Intuition are more Introverts than others so the difference won't be huge. What kind of Introverts do you think that you will like? INFP for example? Do you think that you will get along with them? In other words you want INTx or INFx? So the reason why I can't say for sure that M is ENTJ is the way he acts around me and this guy he is close to. The way he treats the boss and the jerk is typical ENTJ response. The way he acts with most people in the team (excluding the guy he gets along with) is ENTJ. The way he treats me and this guy is not ENTJ. In most cases they say that in ENTJ/INTJ interaction at work is in a way where the ENTJ leads and the INTJ provides insight. In our case it's in between. For people it seems that he is leading as he is the guy that talks to them, but behind the scenes I am the one that says what's going on because I am aware of the big picture more and he asks for my input on it. I get it for the others, but he also does it for him. Instead of him assigning tasks on his own for him which would be typical ENTJ taking the lead and control he comes to me and asks me what he should do next. That's not typical ENTJ behavior. The other not typical ENTJ behavior is that he lets me sometimes make decisions for him. It's nothing big or revolutionary, but I read that ENTJs have issues not being in control in every aspect in their life. He however lets me make decisions like when we will leave the office and whether we will wait for someone. For example today he asked me what he should do after he finishes his task and I told him that I have assigned him another task and I plan for us to leave at 5 pm so this would be enough for him for the next 90 minutes. I basically announced when he will leave the office without consulting with him at all and from what I read ENTJ hate this. Then once it was 5 pm he first told me that he wants to finish his task. I asked him how long he needs and whether he needs my help and he was like "Let's go". Or yesterday I realized that I had made mistake in the beginning of the week. Basically we have versioning for our code and I had merged code in the wrong branch. So I did something to fix it but someone had to approve and merge the code. O, M and this other guy were talking and M's computer was on and unlocked. I went there, talked to them a bit and then I said "Ah I need to merge something". I turned around, opened a new tab on his browser, entered the place I had to and basically approved and merged my stuff. O and the other guy were like "She could do bad stuff and use your account for it" and he did not react at all. He just let me do it. Granted sometimes I act as ENTJ at work. As I have to interact with people a lot I use Extroverted Thinking more than what's normal for second function and people see me as ENTJ. Maybe it's about age. I read that depending on the age ENTJ could be mentors for INTJ and the other way around. So maybe it's more about this than anything else. Or he just seems this way until he snaps at me big time . This former co-worker I met was like "Oh he is so nice" and I was like "Trust me he can be anything but nice" . She was surprised that he has a side of him that is not nice. So maybe there is that and the jerk and the boss just rub him the wrong way hence his behavior because indeed almost everyone in the team likes him.

I guess it could be a few things going on:

1. He's a true ENTJ and you're seeing it with how he treats your boss/the jerk but he knows you helped him so he's okay with your interaction being different. Thus, he's less ENTJ around you as far as business stuff.

2. He's another type and that's what others are picking up on. However, he's acting like an ENTJ type with the boss and jerk but really isn't one.

3. He's fooling everyone and is an entirely different type than anyone believes since his work personality is different form his real personality. Like you mentioned, you act Extroverted at work sometimes. When you mentioned to me you do the Lego thing and listen to music where people can see you... that to me screamed very Extroverted behavior yet I know that's not the truth because you're going there for different reasons. To others who don't know, they might think you're an Extrovert.

Thus, work personalities can be harder to read because there's motivations constantly going on at work. Might not necessarily be the true self.

[jediwands]

As for as who I get along with... I don't have a clue, lol. I have both Introverted and Extroverted friends. Although I do know the Extroverted ones have feelings/empathy. I know that for sure. Maybe not to my extreme but put it this way... I do not have any ENTJ friends. Though I think in addition to you, I have some INTJ friends or 1-2.

[secretk]

Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post) I guess it could be a few things going on: 1. He's a true ENTJ and you're seeing it with how he treats your boss/the jerk but he knows you helped him so he's okay with your interaction being different. Thus, he's less ENTJ around you as far as business stuff.

That could be because his behavior changed once I had direct conversation with him and helped him.

2. He's another type and that's what others are picking up on. However, he's acting like an ENTJ type with the boss and jerk but really isn't one.

Also possible though he has this argumentative side that ENTJs and ESTJs have and he is not a Sensor. He tries to find the meaning behind words and actions too much. He never cares about what was said and always thinks about the true intentions of people.

3. He's fooling everyone and is an entirely different type than anyone believes since his work personality is different form his real personality. Like you mentioned, you act Extroverted at work sometimes. When you mentioned to me you do the Lego thing and listen to music where people can see you... that to me screamed very Extroverted behavior yet I know that's not the truth because you're going there for different reasons. To others who don't know, they might think you're an Extrovert.

This is true. However we have talked with him about this and he knows that I get drained after social interaction. He does not get drained and he had told me so. This is why I think that he is Extroverted. He gets drained but in his words it's not because of his interaction with people. It's more about him needing the focus to solve a problem that he can't do with people around him. At least this is what he says. He also is the type to first act and then think and he admits so. He values action and that is Extroverted thinking 100 %. Or Extroverted Sensing but he needs to a lot of concentration to do sports (his words) and dominant Se type would not be like that. He also would decline offers for sport if he had mental simulation in the same day as he will be tired and that's not something that Se types do.

Thus, work personalities can be harder to read because there's motivations constantly going on at work. Might not necessarily be the true self.

I agree with this. My best friend is INFP and this type has Extroverted Thinking as a last function yet he works in a Software company and leads a team. In that sense we have sometimes similar responsibilities and we might even experience similar situations however we react differently. So just because he does not have Thinking function in the first two does not mean that he can't lead or he can't work in such analytical environment. However you would assume that his work personality is not your typical INFP persona either as he has to use functions that might not be his usual preference.

So yes work persona does not always means real life persona. You have to really know the person to differentiate between his real persona and what they show at work.

Interesting that you think that you have also INTJ friends. I am not surprised that you do not know ENTJ as they are not any less rare than INFJ and INTJs. However ENTJ as Extrovert are a bit different when it comes to communication. INTJs and INFJs spend a lot of times on boards and forums. ENTJ would more likely socialize with real people in real life than posting. Unless it's specific topic. For example M cares about climate and weather changes and stuff like that so he posts in a forum like that and basically can predict the weather. So if ENTJ posts in forums it would be more about specific topics they care about and not just for socializing while Introverts like us find such socializing safer than face to face.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) That could be because his behavior changed once I had direct conversation with him and helped him.

Precisely.

Also possible though he has this argumentative side that ENTJs and ESTJs have and he is not a Sensor. He tries to find the meaning behind words and actions too much. He never cares about what was said and always thinks about the true intentions of people. This is true. However we have talked with him about this and he knows that I get drained after social interaction. He does not get drained and he had told me so. This is why I think that he is Extroverted. He gets drained but in his words it's not because of his interaction with people. It's more about him needing the focus to solve a problem that he can't do with people around him. At least this is what he says. He also is the type to first act and then think and he admits so. He values action and that is Extroverted thinking 100 %. Or Extroverted Sensing but he needs to a lot of concentration to do sports (his words) and dominant Se type would not be like that. He also would decline offers for sport if he had mental simulation in the same day as he will be tired and that's not something that Se types do.

Yeah. I'm not sure. There's a couple possibilities.

I agree with this. My best friend is INFP and this type has Extroverted Thinking as a last function yet he works in a Software company and leads a team. In that sense we have sometimes similar responsibilities and we might even experience similar situations however we react differently. So just because he does not have Thinking function in the first two does not mean that he can't lead or he can't work in such analytical environment. However you would assume that his work personality is not your typical INFP persona either as he has to use functions that might not be his usual preference. So yes work persona does not always means real life persona. You have to really know the person to differentiate between his real persona and what they show at work. Interesting that you think that you have also INTJ friends. I am not surprised that you do not know ENTJ as they are not any less rare than INFJ and INTJs. However ENTJ as Extrovert are a bit different when it comes to communication. INTJs and INFJs spend a lot of times on boards and forums. ENTJ would more likely socialize with real people in real life than posting. Unless it's specific topic. For example M cares about climate and weather changes and stuff like that so he posts in a forum like that and basically can predict the weather. So if ENTJ posts in forums it would be more about specific topics they care about and not just for socializing while Introverts like us find such socializing safer than face to face.

I think I have 1-2 INTJ in person friends actually. One is a Cleveland friend and another is a cousin. I do think I have quite a few INFP friends.