secretk

No. My parents realize that I am an young person and it's better for me to spend the holiday with people my age. They encourage me so no they are not disappointed.

This is good!

Yeah most probably someone from elementary school, but I do not remember those people. I have blocked most of my memories from this time as I did not enjoy it. It was boring and I did not get along with those people.

jediwands

You have way more intelligence, experience, and drive than your boss by a mile. I can see why it frustrates you having to deal with O and P too. Could they lack the intelligence to go there or do you think it's pure determination and they're just fine sort of floating and get things done but not timely or passionately?

Right, exactly! Seriously, how do they not see this? I am not remotely sure how the extroverted mind works (as far as experience naturally) but could it be that extroverts generally get along better with people because they don't analyze and aren't as specifically focused individually since they mainly care about just being out and about in a group setting with people? I don't really know. You would think it'd be a no brainer that what we're saying makes the most sense about forcing interpersonal communication out of the office and how there's way more risks than not.

jediwands

French like to complain needlessly so maybe this is why they want to analyze specifically, lol. Weird. Why do you think they care so much about this?

jediwands

I know! Seriously, health issues can immediately happen if you're out in that dangerously cold weather.

jediwands

That's good. I would have preferred staying home with my parents. But I know what you mean. What will you do tomorrow night?

Got it.

jediwands

Just realized we are almost ready for a new thread!

Title ideas?

Maybe cold? New Years? Illness? I suck at this, lol.

secretk

In my personal O lacks the intelligence needed for this. He knows it and this is why he is indecisive. He has adequate idea about himself and he knows that he can't be relied on stuff like that. Problem is my boss wants him to deal with this and basically he puts O forward and I do not think that O is ready for this. I also do not think that O will be ready for that ever. He also does not express wish to deal with this or to have leading role. He does not want the responsibility.

P is detail oriented guy so much that he gets lost in figuring out the details. He can't start working on at ask if he does not have the full picture 100 %. He is math PhD and is smart, but he is too much by the book, too much specific, too much about having everything neat, explained, organized and clear. This slows him down a lot. He also for me lack the expertise to lead. He does not have the expertise to size people quick, to decide who is good and who not, to find their strengths and weaknesses. He also can't multi task to save his life. And lastly P does not want to take the responsibility to lead.

M is the best out of the three, but he lacks few important skills as well. He is not good in English and at some point I will need this. For now I can compensate for this, but he needs to get better. He needs to explain things better to people. Sometimes he just skips steps and people get confused. And he needs to learn to be more patient with people. Not all have his intelligence. And yes it sucks, but he is exceptionally smart guy. He should accept that not everyone is smart like him. Luckily when I explain this to him he seems to understand it or at least I calm him enough to move on. He is OK to be the leader as long as he does not spend his time in meetings and he is not blocked by decisions made by our boss that he does not understand or support.

True that Extroverts are more about breadth than depth. In most cases they most probably do not think or analyze as 25 % as what we do. I know that my boss has issues with me about this. He is like "You think too much". I am like well I like it this way .

However IMO the problem they have is not because they are Extroverts. The issue they have is that for them leading equals manipulation. They need to spend time with those people to figure out how to manipulate them. Me refusing to participate in those events screw up their plans.

Remember the former female co-worker that left the company earlier this year because of the jerk. During her evaluation the jerk had told her that he expected from her to influence me to go to lunch with them. That pretty much tells you how they evaluate people and what kind of agenda they have.

Unfortunately for them M screwed up their plans big time. They used to have a big lunch group - like most of the people in the team would go with my boss and the jerk. The jerk pissed off M and M stopped going to lunch with them and basically 5-6 people decided to go with M and not the boss and the jerk. So the big group remained to the boss, the jerk, O and the other guy we travel with. In the next months the jerk had huge fallout with the other guy we travel with so he stopped going to lunch with them too.

M and I influenced O (O gets along the most with me and M) and he stopped going to lunch with them. Now O is either with me or M. So M and I screwed up big with their manipulation strategy and this is another reason why they wanted M to leave.

secretk

It's true that French like to complain. It's their default setting . They are used to talk and talk and talk a lot. For them team spirit and work equals talking 50 % of the day together the whole team. I find it completely unproductive.

Let's just say that I clash with their culture a lot .

secretk

True . How long do they think that it will be like that?

secretk

To be honest I spent 10 days with them and I started feeling drained. I am used to live alone. I am not used to people pop in and out unannounced. I am also not used to have to give explanations about my plans to people.

My mother and I have different ideas of planning for example. She is the type of person to tell me 10 minutes step by step some plan skipping the most important thing - the deadline. I on the other hand do not care about the step or the sequence as I tend to do things my way and I want to have the freedom and independence to decide on my own how I will do them. I care about the deadline. If she tells me be ready by 5 pm I will plan my time accordingly and will be ready by 5 pm.

What she does is saying to me I want to leave in 30 minutes. I say I need more than 30 minutes. She is like Why. I am like it's my business why. I need more time. Then she is like but then it would be late so I am like well if you have told me earlier on when you want to leave I would have known. Then she gets pissed and frustrated and I get frustrated at the fact that she gets pissed for no reason at all .

Or she wants to go groceries shopping. She decides to tell me what she wants to buy the previous night while I am doing something on the computer (translation I am dealing with something else and can't remember her 20 items list). I tell her to just write down a list of everything she tells me that she wants to buy. Then we go to the groceries shop and she buys everything on the list. Once home she complains that she did not buy something that was not on the list. I am like I do not read minds. How come I could know that you wanted to buy something you did not tell me about and you did not write down?

So yeah we had like 4 times issues like that for 10 days. My father is the same way. And things like that drain me a lot.

I will go to a bar with two other women - one friend from college and the other is her ex co-worker. Ironically this would be my first and last going out to a bar this year .

secretk

Hm title ideas. I would say use the cold. How about something like this: "It's -41 F outside so we definitely do not care about title"?

jediwands

Interesting. You have all of them completely analyzed. What strikes me is M... if he's so intelligent wouldn't it bother him that he sucks at English? LOL You'd think if he was so intelligent he'd be motivated to learn the language but I guess that's too simple a way of analyzing it. He might think he's too good for it, lol.

Wow, boss and jerk sound so manipulative. I cannot believe the games that they play. Good that you and M are smart enough not to put up with their sht.

jediwands

You and me, both, my friend.

jediwands

For a couple days it's going to be this horribly cold throughout most of the state of Minnesota.

jediwands

It's good that you left your parents then and went home. I could feel you felt much more at peace when you said that you were home.

LOL Well, I hope you have fun with your two friends at the bar tomorrow.