jediwands

Do you think your boss isn't happy about the relationship you have with the CTO?

I can only imagine.

jediwands

Makes sense. Are you maintaining a healthy weight or losing some which you don't need to? LOL

Okay. Basically this is what happened... well, I've mentioned in the past suffering from sweating at night. Also, out of the blue I developed joint pain all over my body. Suddenly, joint pain but especially around my knees. You know my knees are bad to begin with due to sports but this was different, I couldn't walk very much on either of them and suddenly. Along with this I still have a slight redness of my skin on my upper chest and lower arms. This happened when I went out in the extreme heat to the soccer game. I still kind of have it. I reported back to the dermatologist that I still had the rash. He proceeds to tell me he wants to check me for lupus and other autoimmune diseases. On top of it all... my right knee developed a lump/a mass of swelling on the top knee below the kneecap. I went to an orthopedic who called it a "mass" and did x-rays. He said they had to rule out sarcoma which is basically a deadly cancer. Nice, huh? So I had the x-rays which showed my usual, extensive arthritis. He said he doesn't know how I'm walking with the arthritis. I have it in the other knee too. Not to mention my back and neck. He actually asked me if I've ever considered disability insurance given all the issues I have with my knees, neck and back. I told him not yet, lol.

Anyway, he ordered an MRI of the knee to figure out what the mass was... turns out it was an ARTERY that swelled up as a result of the flare up. He said it's not serious and will go down but obviously it got inflamed due to my knee issues. I have an appointment with him to go over MRI, discuss treatment on both knees and work up the neck and back next week.

Okay so for the autoimmune testing... all those tests came back normal... ANA, negative, Sjogren's tests, negative, Sed Rate which measures inflammation and can even elevate with cancer, was normal... 0-22 normal, mine was 17. Complete blood count was normal.

So between the knee mass thing and the autoimmune testing I've had an insane two weeks. Basically the dermatologist will call me Monday about the rash. The thing is the rash isn't bad, you can actually hardly tell. I guess it's just like a mild dermatitis, sensitive skin or hormones. Knees, will get treated, neck and back, worked up and treated with the orthopedic.

I was slightly scared about the sed rate test because deep down I wondered about the night sweats. I knew if that test was elevated maybe I had a hidden cancer like lymphoma causing it. Sed rate was normal (as was everything thing) so sweats have to be either sleep apnea or no estrogen.

Me too!

You need it.

He should have told you you could have taught the class!

jediwands

It has been snowing the past several hours. Very steady flow because the grass is already entirely white. Streets are white. I had no idea it was going to snow let alone snow this much today/tonight.

Sara has a traveling soccer tournament in St. Louis this weekend. My sister and brother-in-law are with her. Anna is having some friends stay over tonight and tomorrow night. Well, for sure tomorrow night, not sure about tonight. We are keeping track of her even if she is to be trusted, lol. We asked her to join us for dinner tonight. She's with two friends shopping right now and isn't sure what she's doing tonight. We're going to try to get her over here, even with friends, for dinner. We'll see.

Jerry D

Man, Michelle, I hope that you feel better soon! My ankle has been hurting me the last few weeks. It's the same leg that I injured so I'm not sure if it's connected to the injury. I'm going to try and make an appointment with my regular doctor next week.

I think the title of the next thread should be We are still sick, it's already snowed, so we don't care about a title!

secretk

My boss is not happy with the relationship I have with a lot of people at work . Quite often he would say you are friends with this or that person. And he says it in a way where you know that he is envy of it.

He also tries to badmouth people in front of me. The HR, my boss and the jerk make comments sometimes that are no coincidence at all. Some examples:

1. We had a meeting in August where one of the French guys was about to show a roadmap of the project and we knew that this roadmap is way off. Like way. They would have basically lied about the dates. We had a talk with the Bulgarian and German CTO and they decided for me to be the person to intervene and basically stir up the things. However the German CTO turned out sick that day and he sent email to me and the Bulgarian CTO that he won't be in the meeting, but he warned a person in Frankfurt about my role in the meeting. My boss said that the German CTO basically is betraying me and that he threw a knife in my back.
2. The jerk tried to tell me that my German boss (the product manager) will leave the company knowing that we are close and I could use my connection with him for stuff.
3. The HR tried to insinuate that the Bulgarian CTO uses other people to do his job. She basically tried to tell me that he is making me do stuff that are his responsibility.

In all 3 cases I reacted completely different from what they expected. In the first case I told my boss that even if that's the case he is not the first or the last person that betrayed me. I am used to it and I know how to deal with stuff like that. This happened around the time when they wanted me to replace the project manager of the project for a week. So I had to have a call with the person that the German CTO actually send to support me and she was definitely like "You did nothing wrong, we are behind you". Also actually because of this we had to to France, to re-estimate all of the work and present the real roadmap (with dates in say 2020). This helped our management to force French guys to admit that it's going slow and to force the changes we are currently discussing. So what I did then was something we needed in the end. None of the French side liked it and we caused a lot of issues for them.

In the second case I ignored the comment because I knew that this was not the case anyway. They just decided to delegate part of his responsibilities to other people because he like me does more than one thing in the same time. That works for small teams, but not for big ones. And even if that was the case I am close with the people in his team. They actually receive my daily activity reports and basically they treat me as part of their team as well. Every time they hire a person, they make sure that this person would receive my activity report. Every new person would turn to me as Koni from the start even though this is not written anyway in official company systems. They just know my nickname and do not use my full name. You could tell that he not just treat me well, but he makes sure that his team treats me well too.

In the third case I ignored the comment as well. You could always have two points of views. One is hers. The other is that he is actually trying to see who he can rely on for stuff like that. The Bulgarian CTO already insinuated that his French counterpart has two people that help him. You could always assume that he is looking for people to help him too. Also even if he uses me to do part of his job because he is busy, he also does stuff for me unlike my actual administrative boss.

But those comments are not coincidence. They obviously envy me and my relationship with those people. It's clear as a day. I could only be happy that I manage to annoy them that much .

Also they brought this on themselves. When I was in vacation last month they had a meeting. Apparently my boss called a meeting with the guys that we want to delegate stuff to and one former team member and of course him and the jerk. This former team member envisioned what was the meeting about and told the Bulgarian CTO and the CTO invited himself in the meeting. Apparently they wanted to tell this former co-worker how he left the team and left unfinished business etc. The CTO told them that he needs him for something (The CTO found a new team and this co-worker is part of it) but another person could help them. The jerk basically said that he doesn't know the expertise of this person and can't allow anyone to work on their code. The CTO got pissed and told them to find their own people then. And now he pressures them to work on this and it's just not coincidence at all. He offered them a person and they basically used this meeting to offend those people and his new found team.

I can't understand how those people can't realize how they screw themselves up. This is why I dissociate from them. I do not want people to think that this would be my behavior. People remember such behavior and it stays with them. And trust me that is known in Germany as well. The person that had my back in that meeting specifically told me that she does not want the jerk to be involved in any discussions with the French because he is too aggressive and negative and this is not what they need. She has some psychology background as it seems because she formed her opinion on him just by observing his body language in meetings. Just like I am sure that if you see him you will see his jerkiness .

Weekends and vacations are my heaven .

secretk

It's stable .

. I am glad that it was not sarcoma!!!!

Glad that it was not serious! When is your appointment?

Pfew. Glad that all tests were negative!

Can the rash be hormone related? Keep me posted on what the dermatologist said!

Or maybe both in combination? With you it's never easy. It's totally possible for you to have multiple conditions in the same time.

The discussions are really exhausting for me. Currently I am dealing with stuff that are not taught in school. It's really a game that you have to play carefully almost every day.

I am not that good, but let's say that I know enough. A co-worker in the other group saw that I was in the course and she was like "Witnessing how you talk to the French you don't need to be in this course" .

secretk

Good idea to check it Jerry! Could be from the weather, but you never know! It's better to be sure.

I like this title . We will use it for the next thread.

jediwands

Thanks, Jerry. What it rains it's pours. I was telling my dad last night for the past two weeks I've been dealing with the possibility of soft tissue sarcoma or lupus, not fun, lol. My dad's a very positive guy, he had faith it was going to be okay but even he said it was terrible luck. The weird thing is the lump on the knee caused by the irritated artery has already gone down. That said, the orthopedic was way more impressed with the fact that both knees are literally bone to bone without any space and I'm walking around and even working out okay, Let alone the neck and back. Sports was my everything growing up but now I'm paying the price for the injuries/wear and tear over the years.

Maybe your ankle has developed an arthritis due to the injury? You definitely need to get it checked out soon!

I love the title. We have a winner.

jediwands

Wow, really interesting. In all three instances you handled yourself perfectly. Your boss is kind of a tool even if he respects you overall. Does he do a good job though as a boss and with his duties? This is really office politics to the max... plus, it's not just your office in Bulgaria... you are having to deal with the French and German offices and that sets up culture clashing and differences to overcome too. It really is amazing everything functions as well as it seems to be honest. I love that you are well respected though and can see through the BS.

Ditto!

jediwands

Thanks! The appointment is on the 9th in the morning. I could have gotten in sooner at a different location but this location is a city over so not far at all from my house so it's worth it. Plus, the 9th is not far away.

Rash very well could be hormone related... we know now it's not lupus or any other autoimmune disease or a cancer, so that leaves hormones, dry skin/sensitive skin. I remember playing soccer outside in the heat and developing rashes. I would get this as a young girl. Could even tie to the immune deficiency. All I know is the extreme heat/sun set it off... it's possible a combination of things is bothering my skin.

I couldn't imagine.

jediwands

Next title.

secretk

I have to thank my mother for that. She really raised me well. I can't be manipulated and she never tried to change this about me. Oh it sucked for her to raise me, but she was OK with it because she realized that as a grownup I would need it anyway.

He respects me when we are alone. When he is with the jerk, he starts hiding things from me. Of course I don't forget such things. I don't always tell him things either .
So so. He has no idea what his employees are doing, what problems they have and how much work they have. I do not think that he has good idea what's going on. And it's true that we have a lot of meetings and he is not always there, but he is also not interested to ask.

For example yesterday we had a meeting with the team. He explained our idea and basically we mentioned that this project should end June 2018. So one guy is saying that this is completely unrealistic deadline and says that we should not leave French to do something on their own. My boss's answer that he assumes that they won't do good job and we will have to do their job as well, but we will see. In the same time my answer is that right now we need to focus on doing our job and what people expect from us and we will see what would happen in 2-3 months.

I personally prefer my answer. Yes, I don't like the French as well, but it's one thing what I think and different to say it in an official meeting with the whole team.

Yeah it could have been worse . Office politics indeed.

For that I thank the product manager for my project. He definitely helped me there because he had talked about me to the German CTO. The rest just carries away plus I am proving myself in those conversations with the French. It does help that the boss of the project managers team really likes me. He even wants me in his team . That does help too as he is close to the deputy German CTO.

So yeah like everything else in your life. You get a chance and you have to prove yourself. If you prove yourself and use your chance wisely you will be noticed and respected.

secretk

Keep me posted on how it goes.

True . Most probably is combination of dry/sensitive skin, hormones and immune deficiency. Lucky you (sarcasm) .

jediwands

I will.

Are you having any skin issues?

jediwands

Your mom sounds so awesome.

Do you think he knows the jerk is actually a jerk?

Wow yeah. Your answer is way preferred and I bet most if not everyone agrees with you too.



That's so true. You are succeeding very nicely. The bottom line is respect. You are being respected as you should be.