The Anya thing, Spike got a soul pretty quickly after that and then Spike was made to live with him, so I think Xander really got a taste that Spike wasn't the same as the demon Xander had come to know over the year. But yeah, it is weird that he didn't have issues with Spike basically just holding him hostage. Perhaps Xander actually took responsibility for kissing Willow, because it wasn't just that time it happened. It had been happening on and off, so that aspect of it was sort of him. He just at that point really thought he was going to die, so he was going out on the best note he could. I could see where he would still though place some of that on Spike, because it's human nature to want to rationalize and take the blame off of yourself.
Buffy and Cordy could have been a real show. They never had particularly nice things to say about one another. I'm sure Cordelia would be throwing snippy remarks Spike's way too since her only memories of him are Spike torturing Angel and Spike wanting to kill all of them. Unless it's after Spike worked with Angel and then she remembers him biting her with a soul too.
