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Old 03-02-2011, 05:27 PM
Master Fan

ennaxor's Avatar
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 21,907
Here it is! I feel like there may be a few small things I'm forgetting, but I'll add them in later if I remember. As always, please don't copy and paste to post elsewhere.

The Zarnecki Incursion.

Scene 1 - Guy’s apartment

Leonard’s walking up the stairs when he hears Sheldon from inside, “Why have you forsaken me, diety whose existence I doubt?” He hurries in to find Sheldon with police man, Officer Shin (played by Lanny Joon), who’s handing Sheldon a brown paper bag to breathe in. Leonard asks what’s going on, and Sheldon says that “they took everything!” Shin asks if Leonard’s the roommate, and he says yes, and asked what happened.

Shin tells Leonard that Sheldon called to report a robbery. Leonard looks around worried and asks what they took. Sheldon asks what didn’t they take - they took his armor, his wand, all his gold! Sheldon starts to freak out again, and breaths into the bag again. Leonard, not impressed, asks “You called 911 to report that someone hacked into your World of Warcraft account?” Sheldon says of course he did, what choice did he have? Plus the FBI hung up on him.

Sheldon describes his character, Sheldor, level 87, blood elf, ruler of the east… and they also took his war ostrich, and Leonard (more genuinely) says, “Oh no, not Glen!” Sheldon says yes, the only bird he ever loved. Shin tells them good luck, and starts to leave, but Sheldon stops him, and asks isn’t he going to do anything. Shin starts, “Look, Mr. Cooper,” but Sheldon interrupts and corrects “Dr. Cooper.” Shin asks Leonard, seriously? And Leonard says yes… but not the kind with access to drugs.

Shin tells Sheldon that he’s sorry for his loss, but the Pasadena police doesn’t have jurisdiction in Pandora. Sheldon says that’s in Avatar, and World of Warcraft takes place in Azeroth, then he asks how Shin is allowed to carry a gun.

They went back and got quite a few takes of Shin’s line here, with him giving different inflections on the line. Sheldon just stares at him for a bit before speaking to correct him, and on most of the pickups Jim didn’t end up saying his line. But the audience was still laughing at Sheldon’s expression, and on one take Jim turned to look at the audience. Then on another he ended up smiling himself. On one take near the end, Jim put his hands on his hips and turned to the audience with a smile and said enthusiastically, “That’s in Avatar!” On the last couple takes Jim did get his line in, and when they finished Jim did this little jump/kick to celebrate being done.

But anyway, after asking how he can carry a gun, Leonard tells Shin that he didn’t catch Sheldon on one of his better days… but even then, he’s not that great. Sheldon asks if Shin can at least recommend a rogue cop Sheldon can contact. Shin doesn’t understand, and Sheldon says an ex-cop who was forced out because he refused to play by the rules, and now he hires himself out. Shin just says no, and leaves.

Sheldon says that they need to retaliate swiftly and cruely, it is time to cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war. Leonard says he’s on it and dials a number on his phone; Mrs. Wolowtiz answers, and he asks if Howard’s there. Then he hangs up the phone, tells Sheldon that dog of war will have to wait until he finishes his bath, and says he’ll try Raj. Then the ending was changed slightly, so instead of Leonard saying he’ll try Raj, Sheldon says, “See if Raj is done with his Pilates class,” and Leonard agrees and starts to call him.

Scene 2 - Guys’ apartment

Howard and Raj are now there too, them and Leonard are all on laptops, while Sheldon’s pacing around. Sheldon says 3,000 hours of clicking and collecting gold, it’s as if it was all a big waste of time. Leonard tells him they’ll get his stuff back. Howard says that whoever did this knew what they were doing - they got in and out of his account in 15 minutes, and didn’t leave an electronic fingerprint.

Sheldon says something like there’s not enough chamomile tea in the world to sooth the rage in his chest. On the first take the audience was laughing enough after “chamomile tea in the world” that Jim stopped and didn’t finish the line. They started the scene over, and Jim said, “I don’t know what the answer to that is, but we’ll try it again.”

Raj says he might have something, he’s talking to a troll under a bridge that says he’ll help them if they pay him. Sheldon asks if he’s trustworthy. Raj says he thinks so, he looks like he’s Nigerian royalty.

Howard says someone just put a jeweled ostrich saddle up for auction, but Sheldon says no, Glen’s was leather, “He was a simple ostrich. No, is, is, I’m not giving up hope yet.”

Penny knocks and enters, carrying a cheesecake box. Leonard tells her they’re kind of in the middle of a crisis, and she says she knows, Bernadette told her, that’s why she came over. She brought a day-old cheesecake for Sheldon, and says she’s sorry about his game.

Sheldon says it’s not a game, Angry Birds is a game, World of Warcraft is a massive multi-player online role-playing… well, technically it is a game, but it’s more than that. And a stale pastry is little comfort of a man who’s had his bird stolen. And somewhere in the middle of the Sheldon/Penny interaction Raj spoke up and said that the troll may not be so trustworthy.

Penny leaves and runs into Priya in the hallway. Penny tells her that she was just dropping off a cheesecake for Sheldon, cause he had a bunch of fake things stolen that are only valuable in an imaginary land. Priya says she doesn’t understand any of that. Penny says unfortunately, she does.

I think it was somewhere in the middle of this scene that there were a couple exchanges between the cast members that I couldn’t catch, but the audience members that did hear them were laughing a lot. Then later on, Kunal messed up a line, and Johnny said, “10 years, really?” (I think in reference to whatever was said earlier, cause I remember hearing 10 years), and Kunal said “don’t rub it in.”

Scene 3 - Penny’s apartment

Penny’s scooping ice cream at the counter for Bernadette and Amy, who are sitting on the stools across from her. Penny says, “Did you know that Priya took Leonard roller skating at the beach last week? Can you believe that?” Bernadette says, “I feel like I’m suppose to say, ‘that bitch!’ but I don’t have enough information.”

Penny says she spent two years trying to get Leonard to the beach, and then he was so phobic about stepping on medical waste that she had to carry him to the water. First Bernadette said that was romantic. Then the line was changed to her saying she once took Howard to the beach, and he almost burst into flames like a vampire. Penny continues that she spent all that time making Leonard quality boyfriend material, and what’s the thanks she gets? She has to tip-toe around his new girlfriend. Amy tells Bernadette she thinks that’s her cue, and Bernadette says, “That bitch!”

Penny asks Amy if she wants any liquor on her ice cream (forgot which type, and I think they changed it after the first take). Amy says here’s the peer pressure for drugs and alcohol her mother always warned her about, she never thought this day would come - yes please!

As Penny pours a little on, she says that when she first met Leonard he couldn’t even make eye contact, he’d either look at the ceiling or his shoes. Amy takes one bite of her ice cream, and declares that she’s drunk. Penny says that for the first three months, whenever she took her bra off around him, he’d giggle and say “oh boy,” and Priya should be thanking her each time he keeps a straight face around her nipples. Then the line was changed to Leonard would say “oh boy, my breast friends.”

Bernadette says that if it helps, she’ll never speak to Priya again. Penny tells her no, there’s no reason for her to be mean to Priya. Amy says this may be the alcohol talking, but there is a reason, and asks if Penny’s heard of the research by some people at some university. Penny says no, but she can name all the Kardashians. Amy tells her that research shows that primates, such as themselves, instinctually want to kick out members of the troupe who don’t go with the flow or something. For some reason poor Mayim had the hardest time getting out that line, which was funny because her previous line (with the researchers and university) was a much bigger mouthful.

She continues that Bernadette’s urges to shun, scowl, and fling her waste at Priya are hardwired into her DNA. Bernadette says she doesn’t want to fling her waste. Amy says yes, they all do, “Give me some more booze and I’ll show you.”

Scene 4 - Guy’s apartment

Leonard, Raj, and Howard still on their laptops, Sheldon’s leaning over the couch to watch them, Priya sitting bored off to the side. Howard says they’re in, they’re at the bar where all the black market trading goes on. Raj says he’s not sure his character should be here, the others are all undressing her with their eyes. Howard says that then Raj should stop dropping his sword and bending over to pick it up.

Leonard asks who they’re looking for, and Howard says a red-headed troll (?), answers to (name), word is if you’re looking for stolen goods and it’s after school hours, he’s your guy. Priya asks Leonard if they’re almost done, and says she thought they were going to spend some time together. Leonard says not too much longer, and in the meantime she could make a character and join them. Priya asks if he’s serious. Leonard says partially. Then Leonard’s line was changed to saying you have to put in a credit card number, but it’s fun!

Howard says their guy just walks in, then asks how they’re going to play this. Leonard says he was thinking a little good troll, bad troll. Priya mutters “oh god.” Howard says that’s not subtle enough. Raj says okay, he sees where this is going… Fine, he’ll sleep with him. Howard says that’s not where this was going. Raj says good, he didn’t want to sleep with him anyway. Sheldon says to be ruthless, tell him that if he doesn’t do what they say they’ll report his IP address to his internet service provider. Raj says don’t do that - what if he gets his internet from his cable company? He might lose HBO, and all their delightful original programming.

Priya stands and says she can see that they’re busy, so she and Leonard can talk tomorrow. Leonard stands too and stops her, and asks if she’s mad at him. She says no, she thinks it’s sexy to date a boy in a man’s body. Leonard smiles and says good, and he’ll fill her in on how it goes. She leaves, and Sheldon says, “And people say I don’t understand sarcasm.”

Out in the hallway Priya meets Penny, Bernadette, and Amy, who are leaving Penny’s apartment. Amy says, “Well, well, well, look who it is.” Penny tells Amy to be nice, and tells Priya they were just heading out for some drinks. Amy says, “Because I do that now.” First Bernadette told Priya that she’s not invited. Then her line was changed to her telling Priya to count her blessings she wasn’t a monkey. Priya’s confused and asks why, and Penny tells her to ignore Bernadette, she’s had a lot of ice cream. Penny invites Priya to come with them, but Priya declines, saying she has a lot of work to do. They all head down the stairs, and Amy says, “Four women walk down the stairwell. How many make it to he lobby?”

Scene 5 - Cafeteria

Leonard, Raj, and Sheldon walk to a table and sit down. Leonard asks Raj if Priya said anything last night about him when he got home. Raj says he doesn’t want to be the go-between caught between them, but Leonard persists, so Raj says he doesn’t have anything to worry about, he’s sure lots of women in happy relationships spend their evening updating their profile.

On the second take it was changed, so after Leonard’s initial question, Raj has some sarcastic comment that I can’t remember about how much Priya loves him. Leonard is happy, missing the sarcasm again, and Raj says that he really doesn’t get sarcasm. On the third take, it was similar to the first, only instead of, Raj says she spend the night video chatting with her ex Sanjay.

Howard runs in with his laptop, saying that he found the hacker. No one can hide from him, not Waldo, Carmen San Diego, or topless Natalie Portman. Their guy is Todd Zarbnecki, lives on 2711 Oceanview, Carlsbad, California. Sheldon says even his name and address drip with evil. Raj asks what else Howard knows about him, and Leonard laughs and says he’s probably a loser that still lives with his parents. Howard says sometimes that makes sense economically (this first half of the line was cut later), but yes, he does.

He shows them a satellite image from google maps of his house, and Sheldon says good, it’s in a cul-de-sac, they’ll be able to block him in. Leonard asks if he’s really planning on driving to Carlsbad to go after this guy. Sheldon says yes, it’s only a couple hours away. He asks how much lunch money have they had taken from them throughout their lives? How many kites? How many Scooby Doo somethings? Raj says he totally had one of those. Sheldon says of course he did, it was a fun and practical way to organize your school supplies.

Sheldon says it’s time to stand up to the bullies and take back what’s theirs, their birthright, their pride, and their dignity, and asks who’s with him. After a pause Raj says he has hip hop Pilates class at 5, and asks if they can go after that. Sheldon says sure. Howard says it’s the Sabbath he and his mom always watch Whel of Fortune together… But they could leave at 8, and still be done by 10:30.

Leonard says he’s not sure if he should ditch Priya two nights in a row. Raj says come on, bros before… my sister. Leonard says screw it, he’s in! Leonard, Raj, and Howard all stack their right hands in the middle of the table, then look at Sheldon. Sheldon says obviously he’s in, but he doesn’t see the need for touching. Then it was changed so Sheldon covered their hands with a napkin before adding his own on top. (They held their hands there while waiting for the cut, and then Jim Parsons said “Olay!” and they all threw their hands up.) On the third take, after adding the napkin Sheldon says he wants to catch a bully, not the common cold.

They spent a lot of time on this scene, getting different camera angles, and then setting up the fourth wall and getting shots from the other side. A lot of the time the director will repeat the line he wants them to start on right before he says action, so on one take he said, “Screw it, action!” (going from Johnny’s line). But that made Johnny laugh, and then Simon made some comment to Johnny like “that’s professional.”

Scene 6 - Wolowitzs’ living room

The four guys are all sitting around the TV watching Wheel of Fortune. Sheldon says he thought the point was Howard watched it with his mom, and someone asked where she was. He says she’s in the back bleaching her mustache, but watch this - and then he yells out to her that there’s a new puzzle, and gives her the clue, number of words, number of letters, and how many of what letters are given so far. She instantly yells back the correct answer.

The others are impressed, and Raj says she should be on the show. Howard says she tries out every year, but never makes it. Sheldon asks why not. Mrs. Wolowitz then yells to ask what Vanna White is wearing. Howard yells back a white strapless dress. Mrs. Wolowitz yells “She’s my age, she should put on a sweater!”

Leonard’s phone rings, and it’s Priya. Raj says something about Leonard having sitar music as his ringtone for her, and Leonard says it plays the same thing when Raj calls. Raj says that’s still racist. Leonard answers his phone and tells her that he has to work late, and yeah, he’ll call her when he gets home. Raj doesn’t like that Leonard lied to his sister. Then Raj’s phone rings, and it’s Priya; Leonard asks him to cover for him.

Raj answers, says hi Priya, what’s up… how should he know if Leonard’s working late? He says that if she wants their relationship to work, she’s going to need to believe whatever wild-eyed excuse the white devil gives her. When he hangs up, Raj tells Leonard “you owe me one.”

There’s a new puzzle, which Howard yells out to his mom, and she gets it right again. Sheldon says that’s uncanny. Howard says it’s her superpower, well, that plus shaking her arm fat.

On one take they cut right as Simon was about to yell to his mom the last time, so he was cut off mid-yell. Jim was amused by that, and then the guys started mimicking what Simon had sounded like.

Scene 7 - Leonard’s car (taped yesterday, reenacted for us)

Right before they started the scene, a couple of the guys were sort of bouncing in their seats, getting ready, and the audience was laughing before they said anything. Johnny (in the “driver’s seat”) turned back to look at the others and said “we’re doing good so far.”

They’re all in the car heading to Carlsbad. Leonard says he can’t believe they’re making the two hour drive to confront this guy, and Howard says yeah, they’re bad asses. Raj says he was thinking maybe they could spend the night in San Diego and then go to Legoland the next day. Sheldon says that Sea World is better, it has Shamu, who is literally a ton of fun. Raj says Legoland is more interactive.

Somewhere Sheldon made some comment to Leonard about his speeding - 71 miles per hour. Raj made a CD mix of questing music or something that he hands up for them to play; Sheldon looks at it and it’s labeled Bootylicious Beyonce. Raj says it’s a rewritable CD. Howard asks, Beyonce? Raj says she’s curvy and he likes it.

Leonard puts on the CD, and Ride of the Valkyries plays. They all get into it, bobbing their heads a little, and Sheldon says something about how Zarnecki has no idea that they’re coming after him.

Then it changes to the guys still in the car, some time later, not stuck in traffic, Ride of the Valkyries still blaring. Leonard asks if anyone would object to him stopping the music, and no one does. Sheldon says that Zarnecki is lucky they’re stuck in traffic for now. Raj and Howard are on their phones in the back seat, and Raj asks why his phone has two bars when Howard’s has three, and they’re the same phone. Raj takes Howard’s phone, but then says now they’re both at one bar, and maybe it’s him.

Scene 8 - Zarnecki’s house

The guys walk up to Zarnecki’s house, and there was a big blue screen behind them, but we were told they’ll be adding in a neighborhood street digitally. Sheldon’s carrying large weapon, and when Leonard asks why he brought it, Sheldon says no weapon strikes more fear into a man than the Klingon bat’leth. Leonard says they’re just going to ask for his stuff back, no one is going to get bat’lethed. Sheldon asks “so my blade won’t taste blood tonight?” Leonard says no, and Sheldon says now he just feels silly holding it.

Walking up to the door, Sheldon asks if he can kick it down. Leonard says he can try, but it took him 15 minutes the other day to get into a FedEx box. Leonard just rings the doorbell. Zarnecki asks from inside who is it, and Sheldon answers “your doom!” Raj says don’t say that, no one answers the door for your doom. Sheldon says right, then says “Jehovah’s Witness!” Howard says no one answers the door for them either. Sheldon says in East Texas they do. Then it was changed, so instead of Jehovah’s Witness, Sheldon yelled “basket of puppies!”

Zarnecki answers the door, and he’s this tall, big guy. (Taller than Sheldon, but I think he might have been standing slightly higher than him.) He asks what they want, and Leonard motions for Sheldon to go. Sheldon says he’s Sheldor, and he wants his stuff back. Zarnecki says no, then asks to see Sheldon’s weapon. As he’s looking at it, Sheldon says to be careful, that’s a collectible. Zarnecki says he knows, he’s always wanted one, and then takes it inside with him and closes the door. Sheldon says that he’s more cunning than they anticipated.

Scene 9 - Leonard’s car

Defeated, the guys are driving back home. Raj says Legoland just seems like a dream now. Sheldon says the joke’s on Zarnecki - without the certificate of authenticity, the bat’leth is worthless. Howard says sure, he stepped right into our trap. Leonard says he’s not getting any gas, and Sheldon says he warned Leonard about using too much gas earlier with his speeding.

The car breaks down and stops. Leonard asks if anyone knows anything about combustion engines. They all say sure, of course. Leonard asks if anyone knows how to fix one. No one does. He says they’ll need to call someone to pick them up.

Cut to the group in Penny’s car, Leonard in passenger seat, the other guys in the back. Penny says it’s interesting that Leonard didn’t call his girlfriend to pick them up. Leonard says he told her he was working. Penny says, oh, so he lied to her, also interesting. Leonard says she doesn’t really understand the World of Warcraft thing. Penny says but that doesn’t matter as long as she’s pretty, right? Howard tells Leonard, this one’s funny, why couldn’t you hold on to her?

Penny asks if they at least got Sheldon’s fake stuff back, and they said no. Penny turns the car around, and says she’ll show them how they finish quests in Nebraska. Raj passes up the CD, and Penny says oooh, Beyonce! Then when Ride of the Valkyries starts, Penny asks, what the hell is this?

When they were rearranging when Kaley joins in the scene, before they started they were doing these short little yells… Johnny sometimes does this little yell right before a scene starts, so maybe that’s what set them off? But they were making all this noise, and then Kaley looked up at the soundmen above them, and apologized.

Scene 10 - Zarnecki’s again (pre-taped)

Zarnecki answers the door, and Penny says “give my friend his stuff back.” He says no, and she says this is his lucky day - a girl is finally going to touch his small private parts, and then she kicks him in the crotch. Zarnecki falls to the floor, and agrees to give him the stuff back. Sheldon says “We did it!” Penny looks at him, and Sheldon says, “I said WE.”

Scene 11 - Stairwell

Penny’s entering the lobby, and Priya’s behind her, asking Penny to hold the door for her. It’s awkward when they see each other, they say hi, ask how each other are, Penny asks Priya if she’s going to see Leonard, she is. They walk in silence up to the fourth floor, almost speaking at times but then deciding not to, Penny checks her phone at one point… Then on the fourth floor it’s all “good to see you again!” as they go their separate ways.

Penny pauses by her door, watching Priya disappear into Leonard’s apartment, and says, “Amy’s right, I do want to fling my waste at her.”

I was curious what the atmosphere would be on set, with all the new about Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre in the news, but everyone seemed fine. Chuck signed some autographs when we called him over after the taping, and he was as friendly as always.

Jim Parsons was having a lot of fun last night… It started during the second scene, between takes at one point the was dancing a little bit to the song that was playing, and Kaley briefly joined in. Then during the cafeteria scene he kept moving around and dancing between takes again, even sometimes when there wasn’t any music, haha.

When the DJ played the song Johnny likes, he was standing next to Kaley, so she started dancing a little as he rocked it out on air guitar. Then later on (before the last car scene), she came out from wherever she’d been, and Johnny went up to talk to her, and they hugged briefly.

Also at some point during the taping Kaley came up to point out her dad, who was sitting in the back of the audience,. She said that he’s never missed a taping for Big Bang Theory, and she wanted to point out how amazing that was. She said he missed a cold opening once last season, and she was so rattled that she kept messing up her lines.
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Last edited by ennaxor; 03-09-2011 at 01:03 PM
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