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Old 12-08-2010, 12:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Ford07 (View Post)
They played that episode for us before the taping last night! Loved it just as much as I did the first time.

Here's the stuff from last night. Again, it's called “The Bus Pants Utilization.”

Please don't copy and paste to post elsewhere, just link to this thread instead.

Scene 1 - Cafeteria

Sheldon, Howard, and Raj are at a table. Howard’s talking on his phone to his mother, trying to help her use her new laptop (“Yes, I know it says use the mouse, but on a laptop the touch pad is the mouse… Put your finger on it, it doesn’t matter which finger… Yes, that’s a good choice… Yes, the arrow moves, it’s like magic… Click on the email symbol, it looks like an envelope… What do you mean what does it look like, it looks like an envelope! …”)

Howard finally hangs up, after telling her yes, they can exchange the laptop for a salad mixer. Raj says that that’s probably one Hanukah present he regrets. Sheldon says that he doesn’t think that all senior citizens who fail to keep up with technology should be killed, but maybe if they make an example out of just a few of them it will encourage the others to work harder at it.

Leonard comes up to the table, saying he just got a great idea, and asking, you know how we’re always stopping to work on differential equations, like with (some equation I can’t remember) and Schrodinger’s equation?

On the first take, Johnny messed up trying to say “differential,” and stood back up and said “I’m gonna go say that again.” Then on the second take, there was a group that cheered really loudly after he mentioned the two equations, and he looked up surprised and asked, “Really?” (We found out later the cheering was from some Caltech physics students who had just taken a final on those same equations.)

Sheldon says that Howard doesn’t know, he’s just an engineer. Howard says that they were having such a good time bonding over killing his mother, why did Sheldon have to go and ruin it?

Leonard says that his idea was they should make an app for solving the differential equations, that would recognize handwriting, so you could take a picture of the equation with your smart phone, and it would solve it for you.

Raj says, you know what’s a good app? The one that makes fart noises. The guys just stare at him, unimpressed. Sheldon then turns to Leonard and says that’s actually an impressive idea, good job. Leonard asks if Sheldon could say that without sounding like he’s congratulating a cat for using the toilet. Sheldon says no, he can’t, because the two accomplishments are equal in his eyes; if pressed, he would give the cat the edge. But to save Leonard the pain and anticipation of waiting, Sheldon says yes, he will join his team.

Leonard says, very unenthusiastically, oh, yay. Then he turns to Howard and Raj and asks what about them, he can’t promise anything, but there are some people who make money off of apps. Howard says it would be nice to have some extra cash, he could live on his own. Someone asks where would he move, and he says he’s always wanted his own place above the garage.

Raj says he could take time off of work, and give pretty girls a submarine ride. Howard asks what is that, some sort of sex thing? Raj says no, you take them underwater on your private submarine, and show them the fish, and asks Howard why everything always has to be dirty.

Leonard says he was thinking that they could work on it at night, and in a couple of weeks maybe they could have it ready. Raj and Howard end up agreeing, and Raj says that they should take a picture to remember this moment. Howard, Leonard, and Sheldon lean in, Raj gets out his phone, but instead of taking a picture uses the fart app. The other guys are annoyed, but Raj smiles and asks, “Is that the best 99 cents I’ve spent or what?”

Scene 2 - Guy’s apartment

All four guys and Penny are eating dinner. Leonard says he can’t believe it, he’s checked the app store and no one else has made an app for differential equations that reads your handwriting - and Sheldon cuts him off, saying “hush!” Leonard asks why, and Sheldon tells him he has so few good ideas, does he really want to risk losing this one by talking about it in front of an outsider?

Sheldon looks at Penny, who’s got her mouth full, and after a moment realizes they’re looking at her, and asks, who, me? Leonard starts to tell her what they’re doing, but Sheldon interrupts again, singing loudly “Deep in the Heart of Texas.” Then Howard tries to explain, but is again cut off by Sheldon’s singing. Penny cuts off Sheldon, telling him she doesn’t really care about their boring project. (On the second take, Kaley forgot to come in, resulting in lots of laughter among the cast; Kaley was saying something to Jim like, “You knew I’d forget! That’s why you were staring at me!”)

Leonard says it’s not boring, what they’re actually doing is - but then Penny interrupts, saying, “Boooring!” Leonard asks Sheldon if that’s good enough for him, but he says hardly. Sheldon proposes the unlikely yet highly probably scenario of a young woman alone in the city, who has realized her plan of becoming a famous actress is going nowhere… Penny starts to argue, but Howard says wait, let’s see where he’s going with this.

Sheldon continues that she is wondering how she will get along, seeing as she has no marketable skills. And then she meets a group of scientists and their friend Howard (Howard tries to argue, and now Penny tells him wait, let’s see where he’s going), and befriends them to wait for the day when they have a great idea that she can steal and sell.

Leonard says that’s ridiculous, and Sheldon challenges Leonard to give him another reason why Penny spends so much time with them. Leonard’s stumped, and all four guys turn to Penny for an answer. She says she’s already mooched her dinner off of them, she doesn’t need to stick around for this, and gets up to leave.

Sheldon (?) says there’s their answer, free food. And he hands out packets to the guys saying that he’s outlined their orders of operation. Raj asks why he’s in charge of phone communications, and asks isn’t that racist? Sheldon says that when people call and speak to someone with an Indian accent, it’ll give the impression that they’re a much larger company with international call centers. Raj says oh, okay, but that’s still racist.

Howard asks why he’s Sheldon’s executive assistant. Sheldon says it’s because the term “secretary” has fallen out of favor. And he says that his mother’s birthday is coming up, and asks Howard to get her something.

Leonard says that this was his idea, and he’s in charge, not Sheldon. Sheldon points out that Leonard’s clearly noted as the founder. Leonard says yes, but Sheldon’s the executive… and lists off a few different key positions. Sheldon says that Leonard forgot… and lists a few more, including head of Secret Santa.

Somewhere in here Sheldon also says something about their break that’s scheduled for midnight, and he turns back to Howard and tells him they’re going to need snacks.

Leonard again says that he’s going to be the one running things, and Sheldon ends up giving in, and says he’ll cooperate. Leonard says he thought they could start by discussing the user interface, and Sheldon drops the pretense of cooperation, and says something like they’re doomed.

Scene 3 - Slightly later that night

They’ve not got whiteboards with equations and drawings all over the place. Leonard’s standing in front of one drawing, pointing at it and saying that this one button will take the picture, and this other one will replace the variables. Sheldon cheerfully says “Good one, boss!”

Leonard’s confused, and Sheldon says that Leonard was clearly opening with a joke before showing them the real plans, and it sure raised his (Sheldon’s) spirits. Leonard says no, this is the real plan. Sheldon stands and says in that case, he has 27 small modifications to suggest to make it better.

Leonard says no, it’s fine like it is. Sheldon says ok, he understands, Leonard doesn’t really want open communication with his workers, he just wants yes men who will back up whatever he says.

And then there was just a little bit more to this scene, but I can’t remember how it ended.

Scene 4 - Still a little later

Howard’s sitting at Leonard’s desk, working on his laptop, while the other three are crowded behind him, looking at the screen. Howard starts to explain what he’s working on, when Sheldon suddenly interrupts and says that he’s come up with an idea for what to call their app - the Surprisingly Helpful… can’t remember the rest, but it’s long. Raj points out that the acronym for that name spells out Sheldon. Sheldon asks, does it? What a happy coincidence.

Leonard says they’re not deciding on the name right now. Howard starts to explain again, before Sheldon again cuts in, saying maybe they should have a codename. The atomic bomb was the Manhattan Project, Windows 95 was Chicago, and he thinks they should refer to their app as Nodlehs. Leonard says that’s just Sheldon backwards. Sheldon says that’s another happy coincidence.

Leonard again says they’re not talking about the name right now. Sheldon asks if that decision’s up for discussion, and Leonard says no. Sheldon asks if the decision to not discuss it is up for discussion, and Leonard angrily says no.

Sheldon says fine, he’s placing a vote of no confidence in Leonard, and they need a new leader. Leonard protests, and Sheldon starts to say something about a time must come in history where competent scientists must break the bonds… And Sheldon asks all in favor of a new leader, and raises his hand, but neither Raj nor Howard are with him.

Leonard tells Sheldon that’s it, you’re fired. And Sheldon is surprised, and asks why. Leonard says it’s because Sheldon just tried to overthrow him. And again, there’s a little bit more to the scene, but I’m blanking on how it exactly it ended.

Scene 5 - Still in the apartment, next morning

Sheldon’s got his own whiteboards set up that he’s working on (one says “Project ‘Nodlehs’”), when Leonard walks in from the hallway and asks what he’s doing. Sheldon says good morning shoemaker, look what the elves were up to while you slept. Leonard reminds Sheldon that he’s fired, and Sheldon says he knows, he’s now an independent contractor.

Leonard tells Sheldon that he no longer has any connection to the project, and he doesn’t want his input. Sheldon says in that case, he’s going to get his bus pants. Leonard asks, bus pants? Sheldon says they’re pants that you wear over your regular pants, when you’re going to ride the bus and sit where other people have sat before you, but perhaps Leonard’s now risen so high on the corporate ladder that he’s forgotten the struggles of the common man.

Leonard says that’s not necessary, he’ll still drive Sheldon to work. They’re still roommates, they’re still friends, that hasn’t changed. Sheldon says yes, but Leonard fired his friend, which was an act of desperation from a small man with such a big Napoleon complex. Leonard tells Sheldon he better get his bus pants after all.

Scene 6 - Caltech cafeteria

Howard and Raj are sitting at a table. Raj says that he had a dream that they made so much money that the two of them bought matching mansions next door to each other. But there was a secret tunnel that led from Howard’s front yard to Raj’s back yard, and Raj asks Howard if he thinks that means anything.

On the first take Simon couldn’t keep a straight face for very long, and ended up laughing. Then on the second he just stared at Kunal for a long time, while the audience is still cracking up, and then finally he laughed again.

On the third take he got his line out, which was no, dreams don’t have to mean anything. Then his line was changed to just a simple no. Then it was changed again to Howard saying, “It means when we play handball, I’m showering at home.”

Sheldon walks up and greets them, saying he notices they’re enjoying their beverages, and perhaps their drinks will taste better in their personalized mugs; he’s carrying a bag, and pulls out a mug for each of them. Raj reads his, which says “Worlds Greatest Astrophysicist;” Sheldon says don’t thank me, you earned it.

Howard’s just says “Howard Wolowitz.” He asks “Why not World’s Greatest Engineer?” Sheldon says that he typed it into the label maker, but he just couldn’t press print.

Sheldon asks what will it take for them to leave Leonard and join a rival company, and is it a mug? Later the line was changed slightly, to Sheldon saying if it’s a mug, then welcome to the company. Raj says that they’re not leaving Leonard, he’s doing quite nicely, and things are going smoothly without Sheldon. Sheldon reminds them that the captain of the Titanic was doing quite nicely for the first four days, too.

Seeing that they’re not convinced, Sheldon asks what about monogrammed key chains with built in laser pointers? And pulls one out for each of them. They just stare at him. Then he says, how about cup cozies with their school mascot, go beavers! They still just stare. Sheldon says fine, he’ll get back to them.

Scene 6 - Guy’s apartment

Leonard and Raj are sitting on the couch, while Howard’s standing in front of a white board with equations written on it. He says time to test the next equation, and takes a picture of it, then reads the answer that the phone gives. Leonard checks the answer on his papers, and excitedly says that’s right.

Howard says, “Eureka!” Raj is upset, and says they’d agreed that when it was time for eureka, they’d all say it together. Howard says fine, let’s all say it now, but Raj says no, the moment passed.

Sheldon walks in from the hallway, carrying a theremin and goes to his desk. Raj tells him they’re testing Project Lenwalopali. Sheldon says oh, a combination of their names, what a surprise. Then his line was changed to something about how Apple could have been Wozjobs. Then it was changed again to him asking if (some other silly combination of their names) was already taken.

Sheldon plugs in his theremin and starts to play it. Leonard asks what he’s doing, and Sheldon says, “Playing my theremin.” Leonard asks, “What are you doing with your theremin,” and Sheldon says “Playing it.” Sheldon says that he’s loved the theremin since he heard the original Star Trek theme song, and he hates that it’s just been sitting in his closet doing nothing, then he starts playing the Star Trek theme.

(They told us that Jim Parsons learned how to play the theremin just for this episode; he had never touched one before last Thursday.)

Leonard finally tells Sheldon, we’re trying to work here! Sheldon says it’s fine, he can barely hear them over his theremin. Leonard gets up and unplugs it and tells Sheldon he needs to stop. Sheldon asks if he’s saying that Leonard’s project is more important than his. Leonard says considering that Sheldon’s project is trying to sabotage his, yes.

Sheldon tells Leonard to not beat around the bush, if Leonard wants him to leave, just say so.

Cut to Sheldon in the hallway with his theremin, the door slamming behind him. Sheldon says that Leonard could have beat around the bush at least a little bit. (This last bit with Sheldon in the hall was pre-taped).

Scene 7 - Apartment entryway

Sheldon’s sitting at the bottom of the stairs, playing his theremin, singing, “Nobody knows the sorrow I’ve seen, nobody knows the sorrow.” Penny walks in, sees him there, and asks if something’s bothering him. Sheldon tells her that Leonard kicked him out of his own apartment, and off the app team. Plus he had to wear his bus pants today, and they’re still sticky.

Penny says it’s okay, they can make their own app. Sheldon asks her if she has an idea. She says yeah, when you see cute shoes that you like, you take a picture of them, and then it goes online and tells you where you can buy them.

Sheldon says something like, that’s your idea? Penny asks, you don’t like it? Sheldon says, “I didn’t say that, but no, I don’t.” He says it’s simplemindedness is only surpassed by it’s mass consumerism and banality. Penny says sarcastically, and you wonder why they didn’t want to work with you.

She starts to go up the stairs, and Sheldon returns to playing his theremin, singing the same song. Penny stops and sighs and says she’s going to make some hot coco, and asks if he’d like some. He asks if she makes it with water or milk, she says milk. He asks if it’s real coco, she says the packet says it is. He asks if she has the mini marshmallows, she says no. He stands and says that that’s fitting, it will be a disappointing drink for a disappointing day.

Scene 8 - Guys apartment

The other three are still working on the app. Raj says that they’ve already got 20 people from the university who have signed up to be their beta testers. Leonard happily says see, their app is filling a real need, they’ve got a hit!

Raj asks how much they should sell it for. Howard says that considering Raj wants to buy a submarine, and their market is about 70 guys, a million dollars. Raj says maybe they should release a light version for half a million, to get the word out.

Penny comes in and tells them “You’ve got to take your Sheldon back.” Leonard asks why he’s at her apartment. She says that he was upset, and she invited him in for coco, and now she’s regretting it. Leonard starts to ask, “Why are you regretting… never mind.” Penny asks can’t Sheldon play with them until bedtime, and Leonard stands and says they’re not playing, they’re working.

On the first take Johnny stood too soon, after the “never mind” line. So they reset, and Kaley went back into the hallway; Johnny said, “Sorry Kaley,” she said, “You should be!” and he laughed.

Penny asks, what if Sheldon apologies and promises to play nice? Leonard says well, then we could let him back on the team, and you could take an aerial tour of LA on your flying pig. Penny smiles and leaves, I think saying she’ll be right back. Raj says, “Now there’s a girl that I’d take on my submarine. And that time, I meant for it to sound dirty.”

Scene 9 - Penny’s apartment

Penny’s assuring Sheldon that the guys want him back, and they’re lost without him. Sheldon says well, we all saw that coming. He says that he’s just going to stay at her apartment, and let them stew without him, then starts to play his theremin again. Penny says no, they’ve suffered enough, everyone’s suffered enough.

Penny says that Leonard’s a proud man - Sheldon asks what he has to be proud of, and Penny says not important - and Sheldon needs to give him an opportunity to save face, so Sheldon needs to apologize. Sheldon says something like “Mother didn’t raise no liars.” Penny asks, you know how you’ve been working on understanding sarcasm? Sheldon says no. Penny’s confused, but then Sheldon tells her that was sarcasm.

Penny says right, okay, so just tell Leonard that you’re sorry, but say it sarcastically. Sheldon says of course, Leonard will think he’s being sincere, but only Sheldon and Penny will know the truth behind his words. Penny says yes, exactly. Sheldon stands to go with her across the hall, and says oh, thanks for the delicious coco. Penny smiles and says you’re welcome. Sheldon says he’s really getting better at sarcasm.

Scene 10 - Guy’s apartment

All four guys and Penny are there, and Leonard’s welcoming Sheldon back to the team, and saying he’s going to catch him up on what they’ve done. Sheldon stops him, and says he’d just like to apologize one more time, and goes on a bit about how wrong he was, and then when the guys are smiling and looking at each other, Sheldon turns to Penny and winks.

Then Sheldon tells them it’s clear that they’ve put a lot of hard work into their app, and now they’ve taken the most important first step, knowing what not to do. He says now it’s time to start over from scratch, and he gets up and starts erasing one of their white boards.

Scene 11 - Penny’s apartment

Penny’s on her couch, surrounded by shoes, and is taking pictures of all of them as she says what brand they are. Sheldon’s sitting on a chair, his theremin in his lap. He says, “boooring.” Penny says he’s the one who say they needed to form a database before they could write the algorthingy. Sheldon starts to explain the algorithm, but Penny says “boooring.” Penny continues taking pictures of all the shoes, adding commentary to some (“There are Target but don’t they look like Chanel? You don’t want to know what I had to do to get these…”), and Sheldon starts playing his theremin again and singing “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen.”
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