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Old 10-06-2010, 02:23 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 22,150
Finally finished:

This week’s is called The Irish Pub Formulation. It includes a guest star, Aarti Mann, who plays Raj’s sister, Priya.

Scene 1 - Caltech cafeteria

Sheldon, Howard, and Leonard are sitting at a table. Howard’s eating a pie, and groaning after each bite. He says that his cobbler pie tastes like there was a real ground-up shoe maker up in it. Sheldon says nice, a pun on the multiple meanings of cobbler, and does his laugh. Leonard asks Howard if it’s so bad, why is he still eating it? Howard says that it’s the way of his people, they never know when they’ll be stuck to wander in a desert again without cobbler.

Raj comes up with his sister and asks, guess who I found in LAX airport? Then he says it’s his baby sister, Priya! Sheldon objects, saying that Raj offered a guessing game, but then gave Sheldon no time to guess. And for the record, he says, he was going to guess Raj’s sister Priya, because one, Raj was speaking in front of her, two, Raj told them he was going to pick her up at the airport, and three, he’s met her before. (Jim messed up on this line on the first take.)

Priya says that Sheldon hasn’t changed a bit, and Sheldon’s confused and asks why would he change? Leonard says that they hoped he might eventually bend to public opinion. (Right after Jim got his line right, Johnny messed this up, and laughed as he said he f-ed it up.)

Raj says that Priya’s only there for one day for a layover on her way to Toronto, because she’s doing some legal stuff for a big car company there, and says “Can you believe it?” (And then Kunal messed up this line too, and a lot of them started laughing.)

Sheldon says that considering when they first met Priya she had just graduated from law school, and was about to start an internship at some car company, yes, her current success is very plausible. Leonard says to Sheldon wow, and your poll numbers just keep dropping.

Priya says she’d love to catch up with the guys, but she needs to use the loo first. Leonard gets up and says he was going to go anyway, he’ll show her where it is, and they leave.

Raj turns to the guys and says he shouldn’t need to say this, but he’ll say it anyway, hands off of his sister. On the first take Sheldon asked, what if she falls in a river? Can we touch her to save her? On the second take, instead Sheldon said, “Why would I touch her? She has airplane germs.”

Raj says he’s not talking to him, he’s talking to Howard. Howard says he’s got a girlfriend now. Raj argues that his sister is hotter than Bernadette. Howard says, can’t we just agree that they’re both hot? And then Raj is offended and says hey, that’s my sister!

Howard says he doesn’t need to worry anyway, when Priya first visited 5 years ago, he and Leonard made a pact that neither of them would hit on her, out of respect for Raj. Raj asks if they made a pinky promise. Howard pauses, then says yes, they did, which satisfies Raj. Somewhere in here I think Simon started laughing because of something to do with the cobbler, and Kunal made a comment about it tasting good.

On the first take, Sheldon said that if it was his sister, he would have required a blood oath instead of a pinky promise, but infections are probably less likely with the pinky promise. After that, his line was changed to something like, “I’m still thinking of the cobbler joke,” and laughing again.

Cut to Leonard and Priya in the hallway (pre-taped), and Leonard points out the bathroom, then Priya grabs him and kisses him. Leonard sort of pushes her away at first, and checks the hallways, but then when he sees it’s clear he goes back to kiss her.

Scene 2 - Cafeteria, few minutes later

Howard’s still eating the cobbler, and moaning. On one of the takes Jim started laughing at Simon at the very beginning, and I think Simon and Kunal was surprised that he cracked, because they seemed really amused. Howard asks Raj if he has plans of what to do with Priya. Raj says not really, just hang out.

Sheldon says that whenever someone has just one day in LA, he suggests a train day. Start with brunch at Carneys in Studio City, where you eat inside a train car that has been renovated into a restaurant. Then some outdoor train museum, and then to Hollywood for dinner at a second Carneys, where they have renovated a different train car. Raj just stares at him, then says they’re not doing that. Sheldon says well then they hate fun.

Leonard comes back and sits down, looks around a bit, and asks (sort of awkwardly), is Priya not back yet? And rambles a bit about how that’s not surprising, with the difference between men and women, standing vs. sitting…

Somehow they get back on the topic of train day, and Sheldon says that Raj turned it down. Leonard acts surprised, and asks Sheldon if he specified that there are two different train cars turned into restaurants? Sheldon assures him that he did. Leonard says Raj just must hate fun. Sheldon’s surprised, and says, that’s what I said!

Then Priya comes back, and sits down and says okay, what’s new with you guys? Howard quickly tells her that he’s got a girlfriend, and he just wanted to let her know in case he accidentally squirts some pheromones in her direction. Then he turns to Raj and asks if he’s happy, and Raj smiles and nods.

Leonard asks Priya if she has any plans for while she’s there, and she says not really. Sheldon asks, do you like trains? She says not particularly. He’s all ready to excitedly tell her about train day, before realizing she’s not interested, and then says that she might as well wait spend the day in the airport waiting for her flight.

Scene 3 - Guys’ apartment

Sheldon’s at his laptop. He reads off the screen that he’s in a forest, and types in (as he says aloud) a direction to go. He ends up facing a gate. He types “open gate,” but it says the gate is locked. On the first takes, he said something along the lines of that option being out. Then the line was changed to him being surprised at that unexpected twist.

Leonard comes in and says something about it getting late, isn’t Sheldon heading to bed? Sheldon says that he found an emulator that lets him play the text based games from the 1980s (I forgot what they’re called). Leonard says, genuinely, that that’s cool. Sheldon adds that it uses the most advanced graphic card - the imagination. On the first take, Leonard said something like, okay, now it’s lame. Then his line was changed to telling Sheldon he needs to get out more.

Sheldon continues his game. He meets a troll. He types “kill troll,” but the game asks “with what?” He tries “kill troll with sword,” but he doesn’t have a sword. Sheldon’s excited, and says it’s like it’s actually happening to him.

There’s a knock at the door, and Leonard goes to answer. Raj’s sister is on the other side, and says that Raj finally went to sleep, as Leonard joins her in the hallway and closes the door behind him. They kiss again, and Leonard tells her that Sheldon’s still up. She says she thought he said he’d be asleep, but he tells her that Sheldon’s playing the game. Then you hear Sheldon yelling, “hit troll with ax! Hit troll with ax!”

Priya asks Leonard if there’s anyway he can get rid of Sheldon, and at first Leonard says no. Then I think Sheldon yells that he’s drowning in quicksand, and the ax is dragging him down. Leonard tells him to let go of the ax, and Sheldon says good idea!

Leonard tells Priya to give him a minute, and he goes back inside to talk to Sheldon, who’s now trying to figure out how to get a bucket of mud around a dragon. Leonard tells Sheldon that he has to be up early in the morning for work, so go to bed misted! Sheldon asks for five more minutes. Leonard tells Sheldon he doesn’t want to be tired during the seminar tomorrow, because he knows what happens when he yawns in public. And Sheldon realizes they’ll see his misshaped uvula, and gets up to go to bed.

On the first take, as he walked to the hallway, Sheldon says that it’s a shame he’s so self-conscious about his soft pallet. On the second take, I think he said something about it’s a shame people judge uvulas? Can’t fully remember the line.

Then Sheldon asks who was at the door, and Leonard tells him it was the building manager who needed to replace a pipe, so they wouldn’t have water the next afternoon from 12 - 2. Sheldon says that’s unacceptable, and they’re supposed to have written notice, and starts to walk towards the door. Leonard tries to stop him and tell him it’s fine, but Sheldon asks what if he (Sheldon) gets tomato soup on his shirt tomorrow? He won’t be able to come home and wash it. Then Leonard said something I could catch either time (but my guess is “uvula”), and Sheldon says he can just have chicken soup instead, and turns to go to bed.

Leonard lets in Priya once Sheldon’s gone, and tells her that they have to be very quiet. Sheldon then exclaims that he’s figured out how to get around the dragon, and Priya ends up jumping over the couch to hide behind it, while Leonard quickly sits down on it before Sheldon enters the living room.

Leonard starts to help Priya sneak down the hallway while Sheldon’s occupied at his computer, but now Sheldon’s lost in the forest and decides he’s just going to go to bed, so Priya has to jump to hide behind the couch again. Leonard tells Sheldon to hold on, he’ll help him figure it out, and grabs a piece of paper next to him at the computer and starts to make notes about where Sheldon went while Priya sneaks down the hallway. As soon as she’s gone, Leonard says, “yeah, no, you’re lost,” and leaves to go to his room.

Scene 4 - Leonard’s room (all pre-taped)

It’s the next morning, and an alarm on Priya’s phone wakes her up. She looks at the time, and wakes up Leonard, who apologizes. She asks why he’s apologizing, and he says he just does a lot when he’s in bed with a woman. She tells him it’s 6, and she needs to get back to Raj’s before he wakes up.

Leonard says that he’s been looking at research positions in India, and Priya stops and asks him what he’s saying. He says that if he moved to India, they could date. She says that just because they have some fun when she comes to visit doesn’t mean that she wants a serious relationship, and they already had this conversation the last time she was there. Plus she could never bring a white boy home to her parents. Leonard says yeah, but they’re both older now, and he points out how he doesn’t have the superhero bed sheets anymore.

Sheldon knocks on Leonard’s door, and Leonard opens it just a little so he can’t see Priya. Sheldon says that he heard a woman’s laughter. Leonard tells him he was just seeing if he could laugh like a woman. Sheldon tells him he’s succeeded, but then asks if that’s lipstick on his neck. Leonard says no, it’s just a rash. Sheldon offers some medicine to help with it, and while he’s looking for it in the bathroom, Leonard and Priya sneak towards the front door. Sheldon catches them before she can leave, though, and can’t believe it, especially since he was about to give Leonard the last of some special medicine cream.

Scene 5 - in the car

They taped this yesterday, but reenacted it for us in the hallway (with black screens set up behind them).

Leonard and Sheldon are driving to work, and Leonard comments that they’re making good time. Sheldon asks really, that’s what you want to talk about? Leonard says no, and then asks him please not to tell anyone that he spent the night with Priya. Sheldon says something about it being a betrayal, and Leonard tells him he didn’t betray Raj, he and Priya are both adults, and they can do what they want. Sheldon says that he wasn’t thinking of Raj, he was thinking of Howard.

Leonard asks how was he betraying Howard? Sheldon reminds him of the pact that he made with Howard, including details about the date and where they were and what they were eating. Leonard argues that it was five years ago, but Sheldon says that the constitution is over 200 years old, but people still pay attention to that.

Leonard asks Sheldon to please just keep the secret, and Sheldon says that Leonard knows he’s incapable of keeping secrets. Leonard says that if he was Batman, and Sheldon was someone else (he gave a name, but I don’t know much about Batman, and can’t remember it), he wouldn’t tell anyone he was Batman. Sheldon asks why Leonard gets to be Batman, and Leonard says because it’s Batman’s secret. Sheldon says that this other person has his own secrets, too, like he knows that so-and-so (some other name I can’t remember) is Batgirl. And then Sheldon gets upset that he just told Batman who Batgirl is, and says he, he can’t keep any secrets.

Leonard tells Sheldon that if he can keep the secret, they can have train day on Sunday. Sheldon says that it’s typical someone who would betray his friends would resort to bribery, but ends up agreeing.

Scene 6 - Leonard’s lab

Leonard’s working on something, when Sheldon comes in and says “Ta-da!” Leonard’s confused, and asks, “Ta-da?” Sheldon says yes, ta-da, it’s the sound someone makes when they have something important to share; he’s surprised Leonard doesn’t know that, it’s very common. Then Sheldon’s response was changed to yes, ta-da, it’s short for “Ta-da-da-da!”

He’s holding a large envelope, and says that he’s come up with an alibi for Leonard in case someone should ask where he was last night. Leonard says no one’s going to ask. Sheldon says that if they ask, it’s impossible that Leonard was with Priya, because he was with someone else. On the first take Leonard says, “Fine, I’ll bite, who was I with?” His response was changed slightly on the second take, but he’s still reluctantly asking.

Sheldon says he was with a Maggie someone, who he met at an Irish pub. From the envelope he pulls out an envelope with a message written on it (“call me if you want to have coitus”), and then dials the number on his cell phone, where the voicemail is one of those text-to-speech computer voices with an Irish accent (and Sheldon even says something like, “it’s not even a real person!”). Then he pulls out a supposed lock of her red hair, which he really got from a chimpanzee. Leonard asks, a chimpanzee?? And Sheldon tells Leonard to relax, no one will be doing a DNA test on it, and says that Leonard’s always too caught up in the details.

Leonard tells Sheldon to just zip his lips, and everything will be fine. Sheldon makes an exaggerated motion to zip his lips, but then writes on a white board “I doubt it.”

Scene 7 - Caltech cafeteria

Raj and Howard are a table. Howard asks if Priya caught her flight okay, and Raj says she did. Howard asks if she talked about him at all, and Raj says actually she did, she asked why he kept doing this - and then he raises his eyebrows up and down.

They did at least four or five different responses from Howard to this. On one he said he was just respinding to her signs. On another he said that she was smiling at him, and imitated her smile. On another he said that when he’s with a pretty woman his natural charisma just comes out. On another he said something about stopping at the eyebrows out of respect for Raj.

Leonard and Sheldon join them at the table, and Raj asks Leonard to tell Howard that his sister is not interested in him. Leonard (awkwardly) says that how’s he supposed to know who Priya was interested in in the past, or at the present, or may be interested in in the future.

I think this happened in this scene… Johnny messed up a line that he says right after he sits down at the table. When they reset to do it again, someone (the director?) told Johnny to stand up and sit down, and Johnny said, “That I can do!”

They ask Leonard if he saw the new episode of some tv show the previous night, and he says no, and Howard asks him where he was if he didn’t see the show. Sheldon looks at Leonard pointedly (like, see, they asked!), and Leonard says he went out for a drink… to an Irish bar. Sheldon jumps in, and asks if he happened to meet a barmaid while he was there, but Leonard says no, sorry, he can’t do this, and tells Raj he was with Priya.

Raj gets upset, and Sheldon then says something about how they slept together, which makes Raj even more upset. Leonard says that they’re both adults and she can decide for herself, and to her he’s sweet white chocolate. Howard’s also upset that Leonard broke their pact. Raj gets up to leave, but Leonard stops him and asks if it makes it any better that he offered her his heart and she stomped on it. Raj considers and asks how hard did she stomp? And Leonard says really hard. Raj says okay, and sits back down.

Howard tells Raj that he would never betray him like Leonard did, but Leonard asks if he ever told Raj that he dropped his iPhone in the urinal. Raj is disgusted, and says, “I put that on my face!” (They did a pickup on this line, and right after cut we saw Kunal’s face break into a big smile before they turned off the tv screens, so cute!)

And the conversation basically turns into a hilarious discussion of all the ways they’ve betrayed each other. Howard had also told Raj that as a foreigner, he had to give his friends presents on Thanksgiving (Raj is upset that he already bought this year’s presents), and he had to wash their clothes on the 4th of July. Sheldon ground up moths and put them in Leonard’s food for a month (in the name of science, he defends) to determine at what point food starts to taste mothy. Raj used the plastic pointy part on Sheldon’s toothbrush to clean his teeth.

They all decide to agree that they’ve all done some bad stuff, and just forgive each other, but Sheldon tells Raj that him using his toothbrush is unforgivable, and gets up to leave. Raj tells him that he bought him a talking Thomas the Tank Engine for Thanksgiving, and Sheldon sits back down.

This was really an amazing and hilarious scene, my stomach was starting to hurt from laughing.

Scene 8 - Guys’ apartment

Sheldon’s in the kitchen using his Snoopy snow cone maker (which, in the previous scene, we learned that he got from Raj one year for Thanksgiving). Leonard comes in and says oh, you got Snoopy out, and asks if he can have one. Sheldon says sure, and hands him one.

Leonard tastes it, and says it’s pretty good, and asks what it is. Sheldon tells him to guess. Leonard guesses a couple of different melons, and Sheldon says no, but close. Leonard gives up, and Sheldon says it’s mango caterpillars. Leonard spits/sprays it out, glares at Sheldon, throws it away, and storms off to his room (or, on the second take, out of the apartment). Sheldon looks confused, and calls out “You said you liked it!”
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