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Old 03-24-2005, 03:36 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 12,528
he he one of my friends won a double pass to see the movie and is giving it to me - so I can take my nephew for free *g*

Here comes the Aussie *bad* reviews

Director: Adam Shankman (Bringing Down the House)
Starring: Vin Diesel, Lauren Graham, Brad Garrett, Carol Kane
Rating: *
Diesel fuelling no one

ON WHAT he goes through in The Pacifier, one can only assume Vin Diesel did something absolutely heinous in a previous life. And boy, is he paying for it now with this sub-Kindergarten Cop crapfest.
Fair play to Vinny D for stepping so far outside his comfort zone, and copping a 10-million-bucks-plus-change payday for doing so. But to keep his end of the bargain, the arrow-headed action man faces a barrage of pointless humiliations Arnie would never have let happen.
In the course of The Pacifier, Diesel's character, a Navy SEAL protecting some misbehaving moppets from terrorist assassins, is bitten three times. First by a duck, then by a Romanian housekeeper (Carol Kane) and finally, aw shucks, by the lurve bug (Lauren Graham of TV's The Gilmore Girls).
Vin must also make a face while changing a nappy, beat up a high school wrestling coach (Brad Garrett), train girl scouts in the martial arts, direct an amateur production of The Sound of Music and perform a spooky routine known as ``The Panda Dance''.
To be fair, all of this could be construed as funny if Diesel could somehow make comedy his friend.
But the two are not even on speaking terms and a shocking script ruins any chance of reconciliation.
Witness the scene where a curious child quite rightly inquires of Diesel, ``Why are your boobs so big?'' Now that line gets an OK laugh on its own, but what will be the chesty guy's response? Surely a punchline is at the ready and an even bigger chuckle as a result?
Not in this movie.
Some dead air is emitted from the Diesel exhaust and then The Pacifier keeps chugging along on its less-than-merry way.
If only a little time had been lavished on developing Diesel's joyless doofus of a character. A better move might have been to have the star simply reprise one of his earlier roles.
Placing The Pacifier's kids in the care of the speed freak from The Fast and the Furious, or the dude with the day-glo eyeballs from The Chronicles of Riddick, would have revved up this sputtering vehicle no end.
Note for parents: with a multitude of fight scenes and the unwelcome sight of guns being pulled on children, The Pacifier could well be the most violent film ever to be given a PG rating by Australian censors. There are far more appropriate options available for youngsters over the Easter holiday break.


On a positive note the film's brought it over $US75 million in US - not so good news the previews here in Australia only brought in $AU115,647 (screen average of $AU820) - plus with the split release it probably won't go well here - we can hope a miracle occurs though and it surprises us all - won't know the full story until the week after April 7 when it opens in all markets in Australia.

Still looking on the bright side it has a genuine shot to hit $US100 million in US.
"It's better to over-analyse, than not analyse at all". NM. 2000.

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