Episode 5.17 - Pulp Friction
Projected Air date: 19 Apr 2005
Info taken from Sides in the Shooting Script 2/6/05
The information summarized below is taken from the 5 Sides published on 2/7/05 for Hal, Driver, Buyer, Woman Buyer, and Whitney.
I will include context and stage descriptions where appropriate.
There is a lot of Dialog and Stage Direction blacked out in these Sides.
- Characters:
Hal - Photographer from Connecticut Magazine
Driver - Motor Home delivery Driver
Buyer - Potential Buyer of Michel's Motor Home
Woman Buyer - A Woman Buyer also interested in Michel's Motor Home
Whitney - A Girl - Logan's date to a Costume party
Editor Note: Scene 13 is picked up in progress. There is a great deal blacked out. It appears that Lorelai and Rory are shopping.
Interior - Location Unknown - Time Unknown - Scene 13 -
Rory comments to Lorelai that she is cool with this. Lorelai responds, "'Cause, it's just..."
Stage Direction: Rory starts off toward another store. Lorelai looks after her. The balance of the Direction is blacked out.
End of Scene 13
Interior Dragonfly Inn/Reception - Day (Day 3) - Scene 14 -
Stage Direction: Lorelai enters from the dining room with Hal, the thirty-ish male "Connecticut Magazine" photographer.
Lorelai asks Hal if the Living Room and Reception area might be a good place to start taking the pictures.
Hal comments that he would like to shoot the exteriors before he looses the light.
Lorelai comes back with, "Great idea. And Let me tell you, we are very proud of our exteriors." Lorelai tells him that she get Michel to show him the outside and help you.
Stage Direction: Lorelai heads over to the reception desk where Michel is on the phone and he seems pretty upset.
Michel is ranting that, "No! No! That is it not acceptable" and for the person on the other end of the phone to out the supervisor on, "Now! Now!, Right Now!."
Lorelai asks Michel if everything is Okay.
Michel covering the mouthpiece on the phone and tells Lorelai, "Oh, Yes. Everything is fine. Lots of Sunshine. I'll be right with you."
Stage Direction: Michel turns his back to Lorelai.
Michel in a furious whisper into the phone,"I insist you do something about this before I go out and find a stick and make it pointy and come and find your cubicle and poke you very hard."
Stage Direction: Lorelai turns back to the photographer and smiles pretty.
Lorelai tells Hal that she will take him outside herself. Hal says "Okay."
Stage Direction: She leads the photographer toward the front door. On her way out she glares back at Michel, who's huddled with the phone in the dining room.
End of Scene 14
Editor Note: Scene 15 starts at the bottom of the page and is blacked out. However, several things can be made out. The Scene occurs at the Yale Daily News Office between Rory and Logan.
Interior Yale Daily News Office - Day (Day 3) - Scene 15 -
Stage Direction: Rory is busy...and the balance of the 5 line description is blacked out and cannot be read.
Editor Note: What follows is essentially a full page of blacked out dialog between Rory and Logan.
End of Scene 15
Exterior Dragonfly Inn - Day (Day 3) - Scene 16 -
Stage Direction: The photographer is setting up for a wide shot of the Inn. he stands in front of his tripod, eye to the lens. A skinny young man, Hal's assistant is running around adjusting things. two gardeners are placing pots of flowers in the planters and in the lower boxes. Lorelai is directing the gardeners where to put the flowers.
Lorelai is finishing up giving directions to the gardeners and asks Hal how it is looking.
Hal tells her is it looking very, very good.
Lorelai asks if it looks Magical or Whimsical? She rambles on for a bit until Hal tells her it looks great with the flowers and that they need to start clearing everyone out of there.
Stage Direction: Sookie come out of the Inn holding a large, beautiful roast.
Sookie asks Lorelai how is it going. Lorelai tell her that they are getting ready to shoot.
Stage Direction: Sookie puts the roast on the railing of the porch.
Lorelai asks her what she is doing. Sookie explains, "Well, just in case he doesn't have time to get a shot of the kitchen, people will get to see the food."
Lorelai tells sookie she is insane and calls off to Hal that they are ready.
Stage Direction: Sookie and Lorelai come off the porch and stand next to Hal. Just as he;s about to take the picture the front door flies open and Michel come running out barking into his Nextel.
Michel is ranting into the phone, "Well, try something else! I don't care, just stop it!. Block it with your body!. Be a hero!"
Lorelai asks Michel what is wrong.
Michel rants on, "i will tell you what's wrong! Ned the bellman is wrong! he's useless! I gave him specific instructions and he ignored them!
Stage Direction: Just then they hear a loud rumbling.
Lorelai exclaims, "What the hell is that?"
Stage Direction: A twenty-five foot motor home comes barreling up the driveway, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake. A pathetic little bellman runs after it, Michel runs over to try and block its path.
Michel is going on, "No. no. No! Turn around. Do not drive that here! it was not supposed to arrive for two more days!
Lorelai asks what was not supposed to arrive for two days?
Michel tells her, "My over one hundred thousand dollars in cash and prizes."
Lorelai queries Michel, "That's what you won?"
Michel come back with, "That and many boxes of some sort of instant rice dish that I have yet to feel a need to break into."
Stage Direction: The Driver of the motor home gets out and walks over to Michel.
The Driver asks are you Michel Gerard?
Michel tells him no and to get the motor home out of here.
The Driver says he can't get it out of here until he find Michel Gerard.
Sookie pipes up, "He's Michel Gerard!"
Stage Direction: Sookie hits Michel in the arm.
Sookie tells Michel to tell the driver who he is.
Michel glares back at Sookie with, "What are you slapping at me for?"
The Driver starts in, "Well, Michel Gerard, I am pleased to present you with your motor home. Now if you'd just like to take a step inside..."
Michel is beside himself, "I don't want to know how it works! I don't want it here at all!"
Lorelai comments to Michel thats she doesn't understand.
Michel explains that after he won this monstrosity I told them I didn't want it. I told them I have no Spam and no fanny packs and no use for this. But they said they would only give me half of what it was worth.
Sookie chimes in with, yeah that''s how it works. Jackson's cousin won a washer/dryer on "The 25,000 Pyramid," but he decided to take half the cash value because he like to the laundromat to pick up women.
Michel jumps in with, Well, I am not Jackson's cousin! I have all my chromosomes and I don't want half the cash value. I want the entire hundred thousand dollars that was flashing under my face!
The Driver finally asks, "Excuse me, do you want to know how to use it or not?"
Michel tells him no, I do not want to know how to use it!
The Driver says okay
Stage Direction: The Driver puts the keys in Michel's hand.
The Driver tell him, "Enjoy your day."
Michel snarks back, "Drop dead and we'll discuss it."
Stage Direction: The Driver starts to walk off.
Michel continues, :"They told me I had a week before they were delivering it. I put an as on-line and I was going to sell it and then I get a call it is coming and it has not been a week.
Lorelai, "Michell...."
Michel, "I had two more days."
Stage Direction: Lorelai runs after the Driver.
Lorelai calls out, "Wait...Sir, can I pay you to take this away just for an hour. Drive it around, show it the sights..."
The driver tells Lorelai he's sorry that once he delivers the keys it is out his hands.
Stage Direction: The Driver walks off.
The Photographer Hal calls out, "Lorelai?"
Stage Direction: Lorelai comes back.
Lorelai tells Hal she is taking care of it.
Hal tells her that by the time the dust clears he is afraid they will have lost the light, anyway.
Lorelai panics a bit, "No, no, we are not losing the light. We'll keep the light and lose the dust. Sookie, get the dustbusters. Michel, move this ting."
Stage direction: Michel goes into the motor home.
Editor Note: There is a cute like for Sookie about her Roast that is blacked out and cannot be completely read.
Lorelai calls to Michel.
Stage Direction: Michel comes out of the motor home.
Michel tells Lorelai that he does not know how it works.
Lorelai tells him to figure it out.
Michel snidely returns, "You figure it out. It's like the space shuttle in here!"
Hal calls out to Lorelai that we're done here.
Lorelai - "What? No!"
Hal tells her that it is too late. he can take some interior shots just for the hell of it.
Lorelai says sure and asks Sookie - why don't you show him the kitchen.
Sookie is all over enthusiastic - "Really?, Great!, Follow me!"
Stage Direction: Sookie leads Hal and his assistant off.
Lorelai rants to Michel, "I can't believe it. I can't believe that you had your motor home delivered here, to the inn, today!"
Michel whines, "I was supposed to have a week!"
End of Sides for Driver and Hal
Editor Note: Scene 16 continues for some amount.
Editor Note: There is a fragment of Scene 18 between Lorelai and Sookie.
Interior Location Unknown - Day (Day 3) - Scene 18 -
Editor Note: Scene 18 in progress.
Lorelai comments to Sookie, "Yeah, I guess."
Sookie relates to Lorelai that you can even tease him (Ed: Michel). he never wore those red cowboy boots again.
Lorelai tells Sookie she remembers.
Sookie reassures Lorelai, "I'm sure he'll get over it. You know Michel."
Lorelai distractedly, :Yeah. Look cold you get Eddie to get the Martins a car?"
Sookie tells Lorelai, "You got it."
Stage Direction: Lorelai exits out the front door.
End of Scene 18
Exterior Dragonfly Inn - Continuous - Day (Day 3) - Scene 19 -
Stage Direction: Michel is standing in front of the motor home, which is still parked in the same position as when it was delivered. he is surrounded by a group of eight different RV lovin' Folk. Michel is giving a very halfhearted sale pitch as if all the steam has gone out of him. Lorelai appears on the porch,
A Buyer asks, "What's the gas milage like?"
Michel snarks back with what does he look like, a brochure? It's five thousand pounds of metal on wheels. I'm sure the gas milage is fabulous.
The Buyer asks is he will take thirty for it.
Michel glumly, "thirty? But it's brand new, and...oh whatever. Thirty. sure. You got a check?"
Stage Direction: Lorelai rushes in.
End of Casting Side for Buyer
Lorelai immediately jumps in telling all and sundry that what Michel meant to say was that he will happily entertain any off for this top of the line streamlined beautiful marvel of a motor home. I mean, look at it. I just may but it myself.
Michel asks Lorelai what she is talking about?
A Woman Buyer whispers to Buyer to offer Forty.
Lorelai asks has everyone seen the inside of this baby? Because, if you haven't, you really ned to. seriously.
Stage Direction: The group starts filing into the motor home.
Lorelai continues with her pitch that while they are in there, please take note of the plush, soil and stain resistant wall-to-wall...wallpaper that accents the beautiful maple-ish paneling.
Stage Direction: The group disappears inside. Lorelai turns to Michel.
Lorelai ask him - "thirty grand? You're just giving this thing away."
Michel says that that's what he was told to do. I didn't know about the maple-ish paneling.
End of Casting Sides for Woman Buyer
Editor Note: Scene 19 continues.
Editor Note: Scene 24 is picked up in progress.
Interior Location Unknown - Time Unknown - Scene 24 -
Stage Direction: Angle on Logan. Logan stands across the room dressed as Mr. Blonde with the girl Rory saw him with while out shopping, Whitney, dressed as the Bride, pregnant and bloody in a wedding dress. He glances over and see Rory with Robert. A look of suprise crosses his face. he watched Colin, dressed as Bill, goes over to talk to them.
Logan says to his date, "Let's get a drink."
Stage Direction: Logan takes her hand and they start toward Rory and Robert.
Stage Direction: Angle on Rory, Robert, and Colin.
Rory asks Colin where is his date?
Colin tells her that he went to pick her up and the door open and she was dressed like Mira Sorvino.
Robert asks how do you dress like Mira Sorvino?
Colin comes back with, "You have blonde hair and a name tag that says Mira Sorvino. I just turned around and left."
Rory asks Why?
Colin tells her, "Please. Even paul doesn't want to be seen with Mira Sorvino."
Stage Direction: Logan and his date walk up.
Logan remarks, "Well, well, the gang's all here. Robert, good to see you."
Robert - "Hello Logan"
Logan continues, "Rory, like the costume."
Rory tells Logan that she like his too.
Logan goes to introduce his date, "This is Whitney, Whitney, Robert, Rory, you know Colin."
Whitney says Hi to everyone.
Colin as Whitney of her friend Josie is here?
Whitney tells him, "yeah. She's over there with the guy dressed like harvey Weinstein."
colin remarks that is perfect and tells everyone that he will see them later.
Whitney tells Colin to leave her alone.
Colin as he is leaving tells her, "yes, yes, of course."
Stage Direction: Colin disappears. Logan turns to Robert.
Logan tries idle chit-chat, "So, good party, huh?"
Robert says that is seems like it.
Rory chimes in that the music's cool.
Editor Note: There are two speeches that are blacked out that based on the pace of the dialog are probably between Logan and Robert.
Logan tells the group, "Okay, we'll catch you guys later."
Rory says that sounds good.
Stage Direction: Logan and Whitney cross off. Robert starts to lead Rory off.
Rory says, "Hey Robert?"
End of Casting Sides for Whitney
Editor Note: Scene 24 continues.
End of Casting Sides for 5.17 - Pulp Friction.