ChakotaysLover

I'm glad! Keep up your hard work on your story hon! I just see the scene so clearly in my head and I have to get it down before I lose the image all together. I try and see if the characters would react the way I am writing and most people love my writing. They can actually picture what I write as having happened in the show.

laurelgirl120

Thanks for the encouragement.

That style of writing works for me as well. I don't so much *see* the characters as *hear* them. I want the words on paper to sound like themselves. I try to write in such a way that mirrors the way they sound when I watch them.

What makes the story I'm working on now so difficult is that not only is it an O/K story, but it has a plot and a mystery and a whole bunch of other stuff going on as well, and I've never tried anything this ambitious before. There are a lot of balls in the air, and I have to keep going back over the story to make sure I don't drop any. If I manage to pull it off, I think it will be a fun read, but slogging through it at the moment is damned difficult!

I've actually got a couple of ideas swimming around in my head for short fics, and like you, if I don't get them down they evaporate into the ether, but I also tend to be a one-track, linear thinker, and so I don't want to leave my long story. I only hope the ideas are still there when I either finish this monstrosity, or hit the wall and have to leave it to percolate on its own for awhile.

I love writing fanfic, but there are times when it's a grueling process.

ChakotaysLover

I try to hear the words too. But mainly I see the scene in my head and then the words flow. LOL!! it's as if I am watching a little snipit of something from the show... hehe!

laurelgirl120

Quite a few of my stories are what I think of as 'fill in the blanks' stories, where I'll flesh out the Odo and Kira bits of an episode. Come to think of it, *most* of my stories are like that LOL. I guess that's why we're fanfic writers and not original novelists.

ChakotaysLover

I am actually working on my very own novel full of original ideas and everything... lol!!

But i love writing fanfic too!

crazy_diamond

for the good fanfic writers out there..I have enough trouble making art

laurelgirl120

Isn't that what makes fandom so great though? We've each found a niche to express our love for our ships. I do it through writing fanfic, you do it with your wonderful fanart, and people like Donna make those dreamy videos. And hopefully we're good enough that we can inspire each other. I know I'm inspired by the works of other O/K shippers.

Mary - off to write another chapter!

ChakotaysLover

The MV's that Donna makes awe beautiful!!

I hope she post's some more soon.

Wes&FredFan

More MVs by request -- my latest ones!

Odo & Kira - How Can I Not Love You

Description: "What You Leave Behind" O/K angst. Kira's POV.

Odo & Kira - Friends & Lovers

Description: Odo & Kira learn that their close friendship only enhances their romantic relationship -- they didn't lose it, but made it stronger.

Odo & Kira - Everything I Do (I Do It For You)

Description: Odo is devoted to Kira -- before AND after they become lovers.

Glad you enjoy the videos. Will add them to the OP tomorrow.

ChakotaysLover

you're MV's are the best!!

laurelgirl120

Title: Left Behind
Author: M. V. Shaver
Email: mvs120@earthlink.net
Summary: Kira angst as Odo prepares to return to the Great Link
Disclaimer: Paramount Pictures owns the rights to Star Trek, DS9, these characters and situations, except for the ones I made up.

Website: Home - Odo & Kira Forever
Date: 6/30/10

This story and its companion piece ‘Leaving Behind’ were inspired by Donna’s wonderful music video “How Can I Not Love You.”

Thanks Donna for firing my muse!

{~}



So little time. In a few minutes, Odo will come through the door – for the last time. We will have one night to share our love – for one last time.

Looking back, I should have seen it. I did, actually. Only I didn’t know what it meant. I hadn’t seen Odo face to face since I thought we had said our last goodbyes in the Infirmary. Since Bashir had cured him, our only contact had been via subspace and those conversations had been necessarily brief and stilted. It wasn’t until he beamed into Dominion Headquarters that I noticed he was *different* somehow. Not in appearance, but in some indefinable way he’d changed. There was a resolution and resolve in his manner, along with a calm serenity that I’d never seen before. After he linked with his sister Changeling he told me he was rejoining the Great Link. His words, so gentle and yet so firm, had stunned me into silence.

It all coalesced for me. Odo had found a new purpose to his life, had answered that higher calling. It was then I realized he’d been preparing for this moment long before he beamed down.

Later, when I’d tentatively suggested that he could come back after curing his people, he gave me a look of such infinite patience and love and I knew I’d lost him forever.

There’s a part of me that, even now, simply refuses to accept the fact that Odo is really leaving. A part of me that insists this is all some terrible nightmare and I’ll wake to find Odo next to me, ready to comfort and calm me as he’s done countless times before.

And yet I’ve always known he would eventually leave me. From the first time we met his people I’ve had the persistent, nagging suspicion that he would someday succumb to the inexorable tug of the Great Link. At least he is returning on his own terms and not because he was brainwashed, manipulated or tricked into rejoining his people. The thought gives me cold comfort at the moment.

He says he will love me forever. I believe him. His counterpart on Gaia loved a dead woman for 200 years - a woman who died in ignorance of his love for her.

In a fit of childish rage and temper, I pound my fists into the mattress. If ever two people were destined to be together is was Odo and I. Had we not overcome every obstacle thrown in our path? Had we not cleared every hurdle, swept aside every impediment? Had we not forged our way through the rough and rocky path to finally find love in each other arms?

I should be grateful for the time we had. Instead, I feel cheated. We *earned* our right for happiness, and to have that snatched away after so little time seems to me the height of injustice. Surely Odo, the man of justice, must see this. Yet he does not waver. He is determined to sacrifice himself and us for what he sees as his sacred duty to his people.

These things I understand – sacrifice and duty and honor. And so I will not wail and weep, I will not rail and accuse. I will not beg and plead. I will be what Odo needs me to be, for I love him with every fiber of my being. I will be the good little soldier one more time.

Despite all his denials, I can sense a deeper, more personal reason he is undertaking this journey. It think Odo feels somehow responsible for the war. He’s never told me in so many words, but I know Odo Oh, stupid, stupid man! And stupid me, loving him all the more for it. I fight back tears of anguish. I will not have him worry over my tormented state of mind.

At the sound of the outer door swooshing open, I take a deep breath and compose myself. An encouraging smile, a serene expression, eyes filled with loving support. I am a pillar of strength.

Hidden deep inside where no one, not even Odo, will find it, is my mortally lacerated heart.

Title: Leaving Behind
Author: M. V. Shaver
Email: mvs120@earthlink.net
Summary: Odo angst as he prepares to leave Kira and return to the Great Link
Disclaimer: Paramount Pictures owns the rights to Star Trek, DS9, these characters and situations, except for the ones I made up.

Website: Home - Odo & Kira Forever
Date: 6/30/10

This story and its companion piece ‘Left Behind’ were inspired by Donna’s wonderful music video “How Can I Not Love You.”

{~}


With each step that brings me closer to her quarters I can feel my resolve being chipped away.

It would be funny in a sick sort of way if it wasn’t so tragic. I’ve loved Nerys from the day I first set eyes on her – loved her to distraction for years. It was a desperate, hopeless love – a nightly dream that daily died in the face of reality, until one day by some miracle the dream became reality.

There’s an old earth colloquium I’ve heard used around the station about people who “can’t stand prosperity.” I suppose that description fits me, because I’m about to throw away the best thing that’s ever happened in my misbegotten life. And for what? For a people who began my life by hurling me out into the vagrancies of space and then condemned me for not crawling back. A people who systematically belittled, deceived and ultimately judged me to be unworthy of them. And still, Prophets help me, I care for them. Not in the way I care for Nerys. She will always hold the exalted position as the one and only love of my life.

The difference is my people need me, although they may not know it. Nerys does not. She loves me. Of this I have no doubt. My departure will devastate her for a time. It saddens me to think of my name being added to the long and ever growing list of loved ones Nerys has lost. I will haunt her memories, and she will grieve, but it is not in her nature to live in the past or to wallow in self-pity. She will move on with her life, and I pray the Prophets for once do right by her and bestow on her the happiness she so richly deserves.

I am such a fraud. My decision to return to the Great Link is seen by those around me as some sort of noble self-sacrifice. How can I tell anyone, even Nerys, that there are other forces driving me? I feel the need to atone. For what, I’m not sure. For being the wayward Changeling my people came looking for? For being the instrument that nearly caused their genocide? For being part of a race that would unrepentantly commit such acts of brutality? Perhaps all of these things, or perhaps none of them. One thing is for certain, however, the stain of the Founders’ guilt taints me as well. Nerys would scoff at such a notion and I could hardly blame her.

It is my own guilt then that has wiped out any chance I might have had for happiness.

I love Nerys. Prophets, how I love her. Long after she is buried and her pagh takes up residence with her gods in the Celestial temple, long after her body returns to nourish the Bajoran soil from which she sprang, my love for her will be as sharp and acute as it is today.

The door to her quarters looms ahead of me. I pause to take an unnecessary breath and through sheer effort of will, push down the fears and uncertainties and crumbling resolve. A false expression of quiet confidence sculpts my ridiculous face. I school my eyes to project only reassurance and love. I plaster a peaceful smile onto my near lipless mouth. Nerys and I once agreed that neither of us was any good at pretense. It strikes me as sad that our last night together will be spent in a mutual game of charades as we each put on a brave face for the other. I will not have her worry on my account however, just as I am sure she will not have me worry about her. Such is the nature of our love.

I have claimed often enough that I lack a heart. It is an assertion I can no longer make. My fingers involuntarily move to my chest, and from beneath the humanoid façade I wear, I can feel the pain of my heart breaking apart. It is a wound that will never heal and an ache I will carry into eternity.

Wes&FredFan

Great fics! Thanks for posting them!

Glad you enjoyed the MVs. That was the first time I ever included the actual audio from the show. I was worried how it would turn out.

ChakotaysLover

*claps*

Nice fics Mary. Those are really good

crazy_diamond

Thanks for the fics Mary

laurelgirl120

Glad you guys liked my stories. Thank Donna for the inspiration. I heard that MV and the ideas just leaped into my head.

Mary

Who needs Dinner . . .