Couples - Couples You Dislike #258: We hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

Air · 05-08-2012, 09:56 AM

► No bashing real life people or other shippers
► No baiting and no defending
► NEW RULE: No individual character bashing

Clarification of Rule #3:

If you're listing a couple you dislike such as character/character - and then you write about them and why you don't like them, it's okay to include your dislike for a specific character....but not ONLY that character. Your post should not consist solely of character hate. If you're covering up specific character hate unrelated to what that character does within his or her ship, you'll be asked to edit your post.

"Character/Life", "Character/Existence" and variations thereupon are simply not allowed.

Natasha Romanoff · 05-08-2012, 10:03 AM

Dan/Serena
Dan/Serena
Dan/Serena
Dan/Serena

I hate EVERYTHING they choose to be

Psychically Linked ღ · 05-08-2012, 10:15 AM

Since its Tuesday:

Kurt/Blaine once again I'm probably the only one who hates the relationship because of what KURT brings to it and not what Blaine brings to it. Blaine transferred schools to be closer to Kurt and now Kurt's whining about the fact that Blaine doesnt show him he loves him enough? Okay then show. Not to mention everything seems to be about Kurt and never Blaine. The whole relationship just seems really really one sided to me.

Finn/Rachel A backup plan if I've ever seen one. Rachel falls back to Finn when her dreams arent going the way she planned, and Finn falls back to Rachel when his life isnt going the way he planned it too. Both are using each other and both believe that they're actually in love but really they're just convinent.

Air · 05-08-2012, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yuzzz66 (View Post)

Dan/Serena
Dan/Serena
Dan/Serena
Dan/Serena

I hate EVERYTHING they choose to be

Dan and Serena are vile.

They're progression went from cute (through 1x10), to frustrating, to completely boring, judgmental and whiny, repetitive, out of the blue, and then by the time 4x11ish or whatever rolled around it was just dead in the water.

The fact that Serena's re-emergence of feelings for Dan have made her so completely pathetic should be a sign. She loves the idea of him and is literally acting like a middle schooler with an insane crush on a guy who barely notices her. It's so obvious he has ZERO feelings for her and he doesn't try and sugarcoat that at all and yet she's grasping at straws that they're ~meant to be because she faked being Blair and that Italian dude said they were cute together.

omg, girl, you make me sad. For what you've become AND for how weak, pathetic and depressing you are. How can the way Serena is acting EVER be construed as romantic or healthy or anything good for the Dan and Serena pairing?

Almost all season has been about Serena's desperate attempt at role playing and pretending to be Dan's girlfriend.

And if she truly manipulates him next week it shows how truly desperate and selfish she is. That is not a representation of true love whatsoever, and I'm just glad that nothing about DS this season can be construed as positive what. so. ever.

In the past I've hated DS because Dan was a judgmental dick and Serena was whiny or completely disregarded him and took advantage of him. They were never good for each other and never brought out anything good in each other by being together.

Now it's just the definition of suck on an entirely new level.

blue_skiess · 05-08-2012, 10:26 AM

i agree, air. the worst part is that i actually like DS, but this will completely ruin them. the writers have slowly been desecrating them all season, and it sucked but it was almost an oddly fitting way for it to play out -- serena losing her chance with dan (after taking advantage of him), and dan moving on completely from serena (after getting a cold bucket of water to the face regarding his unfairly high expectations of S). so to have them hook up like this in the finale, with drinking and manipulation and vulnerability and bitterness at play? it's gross, and it ruins everything that made them once good (i.e., earnestness, affection, care, understanding, protectiveness, respect). also the fact that they are paralleling a sacred NS moment just infuriates me. if there's one thing that needs to come out of this finale, it's the definitive end to both DS and CB. both relationships had their seasons of greatness, but CB has already been wayyyy destroyed and DS is on their way to that same place. so enough is enough. put these ships to bed before they're even ruined for their most loyal fans.

blue winter roses · 05-08-2012, 10:28 AM

^all of that! I've always hated Dan/Serena but now my hate has reached new levels!! And to be giving them parallel scenes to NS is not only insulting but shows DS have a real lack of anything substantial left between them. Why can't they just let this ship die once and for all?!

Also:
Chuck/Blair
Dan&Blair/being on Gossip Girl
Nate&Serena/being on Gossip Girl

DB and NS deserve so much better!

Natasha Romanoff · 05-08-2012, 10:33 AM

I feel like the writers now keep beating on the dead horse

Dan/Serena is over and ruined and nothing could relive them imo

In early seasons, DS make me hate Dan and now DS are making me stop loving Serena.

I think she probably listed every reason why I can never ship DS.

it's long but it's worth reading

Quote:

Once upon a time, I shipped Dan/Serena. Not as hard as I shipped CB, but I did. It was the first couple I loved in GG, between episodes 1x07 (first episode I’ve watched) and 1x14, with some continuinity ‘til 1x18. God, they were cute. They were adorable. Dan was the sweetest guy ever - I was still bitter over The O.C. and his Seth Coheness was in its best - and Serena was a bright piece of sunshine around him. So spontaneous and alive, the girl we all loved for no reason at all. Well.

It’s really hard for me to rationalize why I hate Dan/Serena because it’s hard to rationalize hate. I just hate them. I hate them with passion and if they end up together, I will honestly feel betrayed. Every minute I’ve spent watching this show will be worthless. But well. Let’s try. A lot of my hate has to do with my Nate and Serena undying devotion, but most of it comes out of DS themselves.

DS had, appearently, a very healthy relationship and a beautiful bond. However, it’s not so simple as it looks like. Their ‘drama-free’ adorable relationship is nothing but fake. Dan is literally the worst person that he could ever be to Serena. He damages Serena’s character in an absurd depth and Serena also brings out the worst on him.

1. The fact that it wasn’t real.

How could I ship something - or more, accept something - that didn’t exist? I’m sure you’re all looking at me very strangely right now, but it’s true. Dan and Serena were nothing but a constant cycle of lies and disguises. Let’s take a look.

When Dan “fell in love” with Serena… (had he really loved Serena or was it just a crush?) he was 15 years old. He had no friends, no pets, and even though he felt he was surrounded by idiots, all he wanted was what every 15 year old boy wants: to fit in.

He held some sort of fascination on the world that surrounded him, the world he didn’t belong to. He was creatively fascinated by it, having an urge to discover what was beneath those little rich kids who knew nothing but partying and spending.

Dan was mistakenly invited to a party and this girl - this girl he had seen on that website, this girl who was prettier and nosier than most girls, who was the protagonist of this world that fascinated him so much - was the only person that was receptive and nice to him. She smiled and spoke two words with him, but she wasnice. She could be his entrance. For a “lonely boy” like him, these words was everything he needed to transfer his fascination and concentrate it on her.

Serena became Dan’s “portal” for that world. And then she misteriously disappeared and his creative and innocupied mind spent the whole year trying to figure out what could have happened. He wrote stories about her, he dreamed about her. He felt she was the muse he was waiting for, later named Sabrina, all blond with the legs. He loved that girl in his mind.

From the beggining, the problem with Dan/Serena was this. He loved the girl in his mind in the body of the girl in his arms. He never took time to know her or understand her better. She was just perfect and his great expectations of her made him never question her perfection. Everyone else around her was terrible - Blair, Chuck, Nate, her grandmother, her mom, everyone - but she wasn’t touched by this (or if she was, it was because she was naive and he needed to help her open her eyes). He put her on a pedestal (she said herself).

Serena, on the other hand, knew she was on a pedestal and, knowing that Dan would never accept her “old” side, she did everything she could to never taint his image of her. She lied to him and to herself for the longest time. She made effort to see through his eyes and she made even more effort to change for him. Serena loved Dan - but Dan didn’t love Serena. He loved his muse, his dream girl, not the one who was looking at him, saying that she knew they were forever.

From 1x02 to 1x18, it was almost always based on lies, denial, or judgement. 1x02: lies/judgement (“this world is crazy” / “and you’re part of it”). 1x03: denial. 1x04: denial/judgement. 1x05: judgement (even though he was already dating Serena, he judged his sister for wanting to be part of that world, like if Serena was already being excluded from that… Except she wasn’t.). 1x06: lies/denial. 1x10: judgement (towards her family/her world)/regret. 1x12: lies/judgement. 1x15: lies/judgement. 1x16: lies/judgement. 1x17: more lies/more judgement. 1x18: regret (from Serena’s side)/judgement.

Even if I focus on their good episodes, I can find something a little weird for a “healthy” relationship. On 1x11, when he judged her because of the firstgiftshe bought him for Christimas. This annoys me a lot. His cute little speech of why he loved her including two shallow compliments on her looks (sexy as hell, really?) and one judgement about her best friend. But anyway. I’m not saying that DS never had good moments - I’m just saying they were so permeated with lies and judgement that their relationship was nothing but fake.

1x18 gives me shivers ‘til today. Serena had lied to Dan so much that when she finally decided to come clean, to get down of her pedestal and tell him that she had made some terrible mistakes (one can’t blame her. More on the next item.), exactly what she was afraid of happens: he can’t forgive her for not being his perfect little muse. It pains me to watch that. It makes me hate Dan so much. If he loved her, wouldn’t he stand by her even though she lied to keep him from the truth? Wouldn’t he love her anyway, seeing her darkest and lightest sides? Wouldn’t he understand how scared she was of what had happened and mostly, of losing him? He doesn’t even give her a second chance. It’s so sad to see that when his dream is over, nothing is left.

2. The butchering of Serena van der Woodsen.

This is probably the main reason why I hate DS so much. Serena’s character is slayed to ground whenever she is around Dan.

Serena was left by her father when she was four years old and she could never understand why he would leave her. She blamed herself for not being enough for him and she hated herself for it. She didn’t know what would take for having the true love of a man, for having a man who would never leave. I’ll use Ria’s words for that: did she have to give them sex? Did she have to take their drugs? Did she have to pretend to be something she wasn’t?

It culminates when she sleeps with Nate and, soon after, the Pete boy dies. She has lost control and she has gone too far looking for her answer - she cheated on her best friend so she could feel something, the other boy died, it was all her fault, and she needs to stop and she needs to run. She runs and when she cames back for her little brother who had just tried to commit suicide (she wasn’t enough, not even for her little brother), she knows she needs to change, otherwise no one will stay. She still hates who she is and what she’s done. She sees in Dan a clean slate, someone who could help her change, because he wanted someone else, and she thought that if she became who he wanted her to be, someone would finally love her.

It’s so sad, as a Serena fan, to see how much she had to change in herself so she could make Dan love her. I blame Dan for judging her so much, but it’s also Serena’s fault, not showing him what was real. But how could she? He turned his back on her when he learned about Nate. What would he do when he learned about Pete? He was constantly judging her world and people from her world, he didn’t want Jenny near them, he didn’t want herself near them, what would he do if found out that she had done such terrible things that she couldn’t accept herself? If what it took to be loved by someone - someone good, someone she admired - and to make them stay was to lie to them, she would do that. Maybe that was the answer.

Serena says she’s changing for herself but I know she is changing for Dan. He inspires that change on her and she thinks he sees it, he sees how inspiring he is for her. She loves the way he looks at her. He makes him want to believe in herself - that she is not that girl who “killed” Pete, not that girl that cheated on Blair, not that girl that her father left. Thing is: she is that girl.

It’s sad for me that Serena had to hide that girl from Dan so he could love her. It’s even sadder that she had to lie to him, again and again, so she could live up to his expectations. She wants to be somebody else to earn his love - and he wants her to be worthy of his love. When he has a glimpse of the girl she was, the girl he only knew from afar, it’s exactly how she feared: he leaves her. He can’t forgive her not being who he wanted her to be.

Serena runs. Is who she is. She ran from her problems instead of telling them and being honest because is how she reacts. Dan should’ve known that - and if he didn’t, he shouldn’t have GIVEN UP the moment he learned that she did such thing.

Serena has so much to offer. She has so much to show us, to make us understand why she acts that way, why things come easy, why other things don’t come. But whenever she’s next to Dan or trying to gain his love and his respect (she should never have to work for it! He should’ve just loved whatever was beneath the skin!) her characterization is diminuted and becomes about him. And I hate it. He doesn’t lead her to be free, he doesn’t even try not to judge her, he doesn’t try to see beneath the skin.

There are two scenes in S2 (I was a full NS shipper already, but they did broke my heart) that just show how Serena tries so hard and how Dan just doesn’t even try to understand what’s behind all that: their elevator scene in 3x02 when he is genuinelypissedthat she is who she is (like she could change that! or like she had any fault) and another one in 2x04, that it’s heartbreaking for any Serena fan:

“You know, you used to tell me that you were afraid that people couldn’t see the real you. Well, maybe you’re the one who can’t see yourself. From where I’m standing, this is who you are!”

This killed all DS possibility for me. It’s so ****ing sad, because Dan doesn’t know **** about who Serena is, or how she’s grown up, and what have happened to her. After one year dating his dream girl (also her fault, but honestly), he didn’t try to learn what was beneath the skin. And what if she is that person he says he’s seeing? What if she’s flawed to the bone? He was supposed to love these sides of her, not throw them in her face and hurt her. In the end, it’s just like her father: she is not enough to make him stay.

3. Literally, the worst for each other. Especially Dan.

Why should I ship them? They could be good friends (or should I say sibilings?). They could give good advice to each other. But whenever they are romantically linked, it always ends up bad.

S2: on the first half, it’s all about Dan and Serena trying to be together (2nd time) but failing, because the issues from S1 are still not solved. He hurts Serena again and again and they break up. She keeps justifying herself for dating another guy even though Dan doesn’t want anything to do with her. When she’s unavaiable, he pines a little bit. Not nearly as much as he should’ve had. Well. She comes back to him (3rd time) because she wants to try again - she is not one who gives up that easily - and it’s cool until they find out they share a brother. Serena’s still wanting to try, but Dan is just drifting away and feeling attraction for their teacher. So they break up. Dan has sex with the teacher. Serena “falls back to her old ways” (or should I say… stops pretending to be something she’s not?)

S3: but whatever. They have a pretty good relationship as friends/sibilings. He’s there for her and she’s there for him like they should have been when they were together. Dan sinks into problems with Vanessa and Serena feels betrayed by Nate. For some contrieved reason, they kiss. Dan’s suddenly seeing signs about how much he loves her and wants her back again (4th time) and Serena really loves Nate and wants to work on herself, but for some other contrieved reason, it seems she’ll have to choose (?) between them next season.

S4:I can’t even get started with S4, the first half. It’s legitimately the worst. Serena has to make a choice that didn’t even existed in S3 finale. Dan has a baby and it’s back with Vanessa. Serena tries, but Nate is taken. So she rushes to Dan’s side because, appearently, she needs a man (= working on herself). They flirt and decide that they should try again (5th time). But Nate’s on the picture. So Dan, WHO IS COMMITTED, tells Serena that some people she shouldn’t have to choose. And goes back to Vanessa and loves her. Serena will always love both Dan and Nate, so she chooses to be with Colin. Dan and Vanessa break up and Dan decides it’s time to try again with Serena (6th time). But Serena kisses Colin and Dan is hurt. She decides it’s time to try again with Dan (7th time), but she is confused because Nate (the guy she really, really loved less than 6 months ago and who has never given her a chance since she came back), tells her he wants another chance. So Dan is pissed, because HOW DARE Serena be confused?

The level of hypocrisy of this whole arc is terrifying. People acted like Dan never hurted Serena. Like he did nothing but pine for her and wait for her. It baffles me on how small people’s memory (and the show’s memory) is. Nate was her boyfriend and her best friend for the last year… And people were asking: how dare Serena be confused between Dan and Nate? That bitch! All she’s ever done is hurt Dan!

Ahnn… No? Are we watching the same show? Serena didn’t hurt Dan one ****ing time. She was always trying to change and to earn his love and respect, and he was always judging and being an ******* to her. To me, honestly, S4 was when Dan finally got what he deserved in terms of DS. When he believed on her in 4x10, I thought: finally. Finally he took time to see through her - even though their argument for Nate not believing her was really plausible. She did that to get people back into her life before. It wouldn’t be the first time.

And because of this one gesture + losing one job interview, all his sins regarding to Serena were forgiven and she was the villain of their terrible relationship. Well, I disagree. Dan loves Blair for who she is. He’s seen everything, he loves everything, he doesn’t judge her, he takes his time to understand what’s beneath the surface. He loves her completely and this has redeemed his character, for me, but never to Serena. Nothing Serena has done to Dan can erase what he has done to her and how he has judged her again and again.

Since they are the worst to each other, it would be just ridiculous if Serena was perfect for Dan. She’s not. She tries very hard, but she’s not. What she’s done to Dan in the second half of S4 was really bad: having breakfast with Ben on the loft, not giving a **** about Dan whatsoever. Coming clear about how she never chose between him and Nate. Well. But then again, Dan just pissed on their memories when he didn’t care about Charlie wearing her golden dress from the Cotillion. And etc. Etc. Etc.

S5: then comes S5. Oh, S5. So perfect on one side. Not this side. While Dan is being redeemed of all his judgement and mistakes being the perfect man for Blair, nothing about his relationship with Serena is improving. She realizes she loves him (8th time?) right after she’s also not the star of his book. He writes her as a shallow, superficial, flighty, shallow character. It’s not pure fiction. He didn’t even realize that in high school he made her want to change. Serena embarasses herself for him. She gets fired because of him. He doesn’t appreciate it for the slightest second. Again, she changes everything because of him, to try to hold him, to try to hold the girl he makes her want to be. She’s lost, she’s confused, there’s so much lying in her life, first her best friend, then her family, her grandma dies, Charlie is not Charlie, Lola is her sister, her father loves her better. No one is there for her. Dan is not even the slightest worried about her. He kisses Blair in front of her, twice. He rushes to make sure Blair will be okay. He doesn’t even ask how Serena feels about this - he doesn’t care. Serena told him she loved him and he ran for Blair because she needed him.

Literally. The. Worst. For. Each. Other.

I could list more fifty reasons about how terrible they are - how he slays her characterization to the ground - how she brings out the judgemental dick that he is from the beggining - how it’s all based on lies and how extremely unhealthy disguised as cute they are. But I think I’ve made my point, and I’m starting to be every time more passionated about it. I cannot stand Dan and Serena together. They do nothing good to each other.

I love the Dan that Blair has brought out. I love the Dan that has learned how to live, how to be in the world and of the world. I love the Dan who sees past his prejudices and who tries to reveal what’s underneath it all - and especially, I love the Dan that doesn’t run away from what it’s revealed. The Dan that thinks vulnerability is beautiful and the Dan that knew before loving (on opposite to love before knowing). This Dan happens in Dair. It never happened in DS and will never happen in DS.

I love Serena. I love Serena in all shapes and forms, in her bitchiest moments, I’m always trying to justify her. I love who she is. I don’t accept anyone that makes her feel like she is not enough. That she needs to change in order to be loved. I don’t want her around another William van der Woodsen, leaving her for no reason and making her feel like she needs to be something else. I love Serena because she is shallow, superficial, flighty, selfish, but who is also loyal, fiercy, strong and, most important: beautiful, amazing and alive. This Serena won’t happen near Dan.

full of the love that you deserve

Air · 05-08-2012, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katie_Jeanne (View Post)

i agree, air. the worst part is that i actually like DS, but this will completely ruin them. the writers have slowly been desecrating them all season, and it sucked but it was almost an oddly fitting way for it to play out -- serena losing her chance with dan (after taking advantage of him), and dan moving on completely from serena (after getting a cold bucket of water to the face regarding his unfairly high expectations of S). so to have them hook up like this in the finale, with drinking and manipulation and vulnerability and bitterness at play? it's gross, and it ruins everything that made them once good (i.e., earnestness, affection, care, understanding, protectiveness, respect). also the fact that they are paralleling a sacred NS moment just infuriates me. if there's one thing that needs to come out of this finale, it's the definitive end to both DS and CB. both relationships had their seasons of greatness, but CB has already been wayyyy destroyed and DS is on their way to that same place. so enough is enough. put these ships to bed before they're even ruined for their most loyal fans.

exactly!

I truly hope the writers are brave enough to not give a fck and let CB and DS finally die. There's plenty of drama they can muster up next season (especially if it's only 13 episodes) without them.

Then again, while CB has "never been over" - I've felt about 5 different times that DS definitely were and yet they keep resurrecting them from the dead. But at this point, I just can't see Dan EVER having real feelings for her again. I truly hope this bullsht next week is their death knell.

jtenen1991 · 05-08-2012, 10:59 AM

Dan and Blair Besides the fact that I am starting to hate Blair because of this relationship, they have no chemistry to me. I get bored watching their scenes and force myself to try to see the bright side in them. Blair treats Dan with no respect. She does what she wants then comes back with her doe eyes to make things right at the end of EVERY episode since theyve been together. She doesnt just do what she wants, she lies. That's not the trusting relationship everyone is talking about, and thats now two people helping eachother grow. Blair is growing and Dan is waiting. I can't stand the writers for doing this. SHe chose Chuck's problem over her boyfriends. TO me that says something and not just that she cares about Bart/Chuck, that she cared enough to be involved and lie to Dan about it. Im sick of these two... NEXT!

SaraSidleStokes · 05-08-2012, 11:34 AM

Regina and Emma
Regina and Graham
Emma and August
Emma and Gold
Emma and Jefferson

SkateGirl88 · 05-08-2012, 11:57 AM

DAN/SERENA
CHUCK/BLAIR

heartlines · 05-08-2012, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtenen1991 (View Post)

Dan and Blair Besides the fact that I am starting to hate Blair because of this relationship, they have no chemistry to me. I get bored watching their scenes and force myself to try to see the bright side in them. Blair treats Dan with no respect. She does what she wants then comes back with her doe eyes to make things right at the end of EVERY episode since theyve been together. She doesnt just do what she wants, she lies. That's not the trusting relationship everyone is talking about, and thats now two people helping eachother grow. Blair is growing and Dan is waiting. I can't stand the writers for doing this. SHe chose Chuck's problem over her boyfriends. TO me that says something and not just that she cares about Bart/Chuck, that she cared enough to be involved and lie to Dan about it. Im sick of these two... NEXT!

Amen.

And now it looks like once again Dan/Blair will have been for nothing because she's 'still in love with Chuck', according to the promo for the finale. Dating a man her best friend told her she was in love with (even if I hate Dan/Serena with a fiery passion, that was low) is apparently just a whim. This show is ridiculous

Air · 05-08-2012, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkateGirl88 (View Post)

DAN/SERENA
CHUCK/BLAIR

I truly don't hate as many couples as I thought I did, but these two are the WORST in addition to Bill and Sookie.

Absolutely terrible in every way, shape and form. I feel a large CB post on the horizon, but I'm getting a headache and can't deal with more aggravation today

So I'll leave today as my DS day

The_Void · 05-08-2012, 12:43 PM

Spike/Buffy
Buffy/Riley
Connor/Cordelia
Damon/Elena
Klaus/Caroline
Mini/Alo
Harry/Ginny

I will always hate everything these couples chose to be.

jtenen1991 · 05-08-2012, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heartlines (View Post)

Amen.

And now it looks like once again Dan/Blair will have been for nothing because she's 'still in love with Chuck', according to the promo for the finale. Dating a man her best friend told her she was in love with (even if I hate Dan/Serena with a fiery passion, that was low) is apparently just a whim. This show is ridiculous

The promo might be misleading, but no matter which way you spin it the writers are making it clear that Dan and Blair are not in isolation from Blairs feelings for Chuck. This is why I could never support them. Chuck was and always will be looming in the background. She started dating Dan an hour after she declared her unconditional love to Chuck, how could anyone expect her not to rehash her feelings for him AGAIN??

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Fan Forum > General Discussion > Couples > Couples You Dislike #258: We hate so much about the things that you choose to be.