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Old 04-06-2012, 09:18 AM
  #106
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,433
Harry/Ginny

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present to you, the epic story of Harry and Ginny, true soulmates:

Ginny: *sees Harry* OMG LOOK SOMEONE FAMOUS IT’S THE BOY WHO LIVED MUM CAN I GET HIS AUTOGRAPH LOOK LOOK LOOK AT HIM.

Harry: I am very uncomfortable with this newfound fame.

---

Ginny: Harry, I made you a valentines card. It’s all about how famous you are and how I love how famous you are.

Harry: I really hate being famous for something I can’t remember. I’d much rather be known as just Ha-

Ginny: I LOVE YOU BOY WHO LIVED.

Harry: Never mind.

---

Harry and Ginny in Prisoner of Azkaban: ...

---

Harry and Ginny in Goblet of Fire: ...

---

Ginny: Hey Harry, I exist again now! Remember me?

Harry: No, not really.

Ron: Ginny got over her crush on you, didn’t you notice how different she was.

Harry: I’d answer you, but I got distracted by a sandwich and I’ve already forgotten who Ginny is.

---

Harry: *angst*

Ginny: Hey Harry, what’s wrong? Tell me.

Harry: Well, I told Ron and Hermione, and there are comfortably five or six other people I’d want to talk about it with, and later on I’m going to share something I couldn’t even talk about with those people with a girl I only met this book, so I wonder if I’ll be able to share this with my future soulmate? ...The answer is no, I’m just going to vaguely avoid telling you anything.

Ginny: OK! Here’s some useless and generic advice!

Harry: This conversation was very deep and meaningful!

---

Harry: I think I might be getting possessed by Voldemort.

Ginny: No you’re not, and I’d know.

Harry: ...

Ginny: Because of that time I got possessed by Voldemort?

Harry: ...

Ginny: You saved me? In the Chamber of Secrets?

Harry: ...

Ginny: It was the most traumatic experience of my life? I almost died?

Harry: ...

Ginny: You won the house cup because of it.

Harry: Oh yeah I remember now!

Ginny: ...

---

Ginny: Hey guys! I’m going to insult my future sister-in-law for no real reason!

Harry: LOL.

Meaningful scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Meaningful scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Any scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Ginny: *kisses Dean*

Harry: This makes me angry! Clearly the deep and meaningful friendship we obviously had you just didn’t see it OK it happened off-screen just roll with it has turned into something more!

Penis metaphor: Hi guys!

---

Harry: *does more important stuff for most of the book, occasionally stopping every few chapter for an obligatory mention of him staring at Ginny*

---

Meaningful scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Ginny: Hey, I won the Quidditch Cup!

Harry: *smooch!*

Ginny: Wow, that was kinda rude, I mean I got over you and had a load of character development... except wait, I never got over you really and was just faking it.

Harry: That makes perfect sense! And does not at all reek of inconsistency!

---

Harry and Ginny: So now we get to share some actual scenes, right? Some dialogue maybe? Something to show us together, to show how much we mean to each other?

JKR: Nah I’ll just throw in half a paragraph vaguely alluding to some ill-defined stuff that you did together, come on guys I’ve got a plot to write here.

---

Harry: We should break up!

Ginny: Wait, what?

Harry: Yeah, if we stay together Voldemort will use you to get to me.

Ginny: Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. I’m the sister of the guy you’re travelling with, my family are known Dumbledore supporters, if Voldemort has any spies on you then he already knows we’ve been seeing each other...

Harry: Just trust me, I saw Spiderman, OK?

Ginny: OK. And for someone reason I’m going to be totally OK with this. Even though recently I’ve been defined by my wish to be treated as an equal and not have people make decisions for me, to the extent that I broke up with a guy for helping me through a door. Inconsistent characterisation equals true love, right?

Harry: Probably!

Ginny: Great! Now go off and kill Voldemort. Did you know that the main reason I like you is because you’re this great hero? You’ll never be happy unless you fight Voldemort!

Harry: Wow, what a profound misunderstanding of my character.

Ginny: So are you going to tell me what you’re doing?

Harry: Well you’re my soulmate and future wife so... HAHAHA no I don’t trust you enough to tell you a single thing.

---

Gabrielle: Hi Harry! I am a twelve-year-old who has a crush on you!

Ginny: I’m going to act jealous of this! Because that’s not dumb at all!

---

Ginny: Hey Harry, I just wanted to wish you goodbye and hope...

Harry: That I can complete my mission? That I don’t die? That me and my friends aren’t horribly tortured along the way?

Ginny: ...Actually, I was just going to hope you don’t meet any hot chicks on your journey. Because clearly that would be your priority this year!

---

Harry: *watches Ginny creepily in a totally romantic non-stalkerish way on the Marauders Map*

Harry: Wow, this map would sure have been useful in Ginny’s hands, seeing as I’m not even at Hogwarts and she could make much better use of it than I!

Harry: *continues to creep*

---

Harry: Hi guys I’m back! Somebody take me to Ravenclaw tower!

Cho: I’ll help.

Ginny: No! Clearly I cannot let you go anywhere with your former crush! You might abandon your super-important mission and start making out!

Everybody reading: GINNY THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR JEALOUSY THERE IS A WAR ON!

JKR: Jealousy=romance, right?

---

Ginny: Hey, I want to fight in this battle.

Harry: Well since I trust you as my equal I think... HAHAHA no just kidding, stay in here.

Ginny: OK, I’m going to sneak out anyway and be totally inconsequential in this battle! Our relationship is so equal and healthy!

Harry: Great! I’m going to go off and have my most significant moment in the climax of this series with another girl, whose unique outlook will give me the strength and hope to keep on fighting!

Ginny: Boy,I sure hope that doesn’t undermine our romance at all!

---

Harry: So Ginny’s brother has just died, perhaps I should go comfort her, and we could have a proper reunion after being separated for a whole year... Actually though, it’s not that important, I’m gonna go fix my wand and grab a sandwich instead.

---

19 years later.

Harry and Ginny: We’re married!

Harmony fandom: WHAT.

Lunarry fandom: THE.

Drarry fandom: FREAKING.

Everybody: HELL?

Harry: This was obviously going to happen! Didn’t you see all those significant scenes we shared It was so obvious how much we meant to each other!

Ginny: We have kids named after all the people that were significant in Harry’s life! Clearly we decided on them together as equals!

Harry: I’m not even going to talk directly to my wife at any point in this chapter!

Ginny: I have such little significance in this epilogue, I could literally be anyone and it wouldn’t make any difference whatsoever!

JKR: SOULMATES!

Me:

The End.
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Old 04-06-2012, 09:30 AM
  #107
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 31,088
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Void (View Post)
Harry/Ginny

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present to you, the epic story of Harry and Ginny, true soulmates:

Ginny: *sees Harry* OMG LOOK SOMEONE FAMOUS IT’S THE BOY WHO LIVED MUM CAN I GET HIS AUTOGRAPH LOOK LOOK LOOK AT HIM.

Harry: I am very uncomfortable with this newfound fame.

---

Ginny: Harry, I made you a valentines card. It’s all about how famous you are and how I love how famous you are.

Harry: I really hate being famous for something I can’t remember. I’d much rather be known as just Ha-

Ginny: I LOVE YOU BOY WHO LIVED.

Harry: Never mind.

---

Harry and Ginny in Prisoner of Azkaban: ...

---

Harry and Ginny in Goblet of Fire: ...

---

Ginny: Hey Harry, I exist again now! Remember me?

Harry: No, not really.

Ron: Ginny got over her crush on you, didn’t you notice how different she was.

Harry: I’d answer you, but I got distracted by a sandwich and I’ve already forgotten who Ginny is.

---

Harry: *angst*

Ginny: Hey Harry, what’s wrong? Tell me.

Harry: Well, I told Ron and Hermione, and there are comfortably five or six other people I’d want to talk about it with, and later on I’m going to share something I couldn’t even talk about with those people with a girl I only met this book, so I wonder if I’ll be able to share this with my future soulmate? ...The answer is no, I’m just going to vaguely avoid telling you anything.

Ginny: OK! Here’s some useless and generic advice!

Harry: This conversation was very deep and meaningful!

---

Harry: I think I might be getting possessed by Voldemort.

Ginny: No you’re not, and I’d know.

Harry: ...

Ginny: Because of that time I got possessed by Voldemort?

Harry: ...

Ginny: You saved me? In the Chamber of Secrets?

Harry: ...

Ginny: It was the most traumatic experience of my life? I almost died?

Harry: ...

Ginny: You won the house cup because of it.

Harry: Oh yeah I remember now!

Ginny: ...

---

Ginny: Hey guys! I’m going to insult my future sister-in-law for no real reason!

Harry: LOL.

Meaningful scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Meaningful scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Any scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Ginny: *kisses Dean*

Harry: This makes me angry! Clearly the deep and meaningful friendship we obviously had you just didn’t see it OK it happened off-screen just roll with it has turned into something more!

Penis metaphor: Hi guys!

---

Harry: *does more important stuff for most of the book, occasionally stopping every few chapter for an obligatory mention of him staring at Ginny*

---

Meaningful scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Ginny: Hey, I won the Quidditch Cup!

Harry: *smooch!*

Ginny: Wow, that was kinda rude, I mean I got over you and had a load of character development... except wait, I never got over you really and was just faking it.

Harry: That makes perfect sense! And does not at all reek of inconsistency!

---

Harry and Ginny: So now we get to share some actual scenes, right? Some dialogue maybe? Something to show us together, to show how much we mean to each other?

JKR: Nah I’ll just throw in half a paragraph vaguely alluding to some ill-defined stuff that you did together, come on guys I’ve got a plot to write here.

---

Harry: We should break up!

Ginny: Wait, what?

Harry: Yeah, if we stay together Voldemort will use you to get to me.

Ginny: Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. I’m the sister of the guy you’re travelling with, my family are known Dumbledore supporters, if Voldemort has any spies on you then he already knows we’ve been seeing each other...

Harry: Just trust me, I saw Spiderman, OK?

Ginny: OK. And for someone reason I’m going to be totally OK with this. Even though recently I’ve been defined by my wish to be treated as an equal and not have people make decisions for me, to the extent that I broke up with a guy for helping me through a door. Inconsistent characterisation equals true love, right?

Harry: Probably!

Ginny: Great! Now go off and kill Voldemort. Did you know that the main reason I like you is because you’re this great hero? You’ll never be happy unless you fight Voldemort!

Harry: Wow, what a profound misunderstanding of my character.

Ginny: So are you going to tell me what you’re doing?

Harry: Well you’re my soulmate and future wife so... HAHAHA no I don’t trust you enough to tell you a single thing.

---

Gabrielle: Hi Harry! I am a twelve-year-old who has a crush on you!

Ginny: I’m going to act jealous of this! Because that’s not dumb at all!

---

Ginny: Hey Harry, I just wanted to wish you goodbye and hope...

Harry: That I can complete my mission? That I don’t die? That me and my friends aren’t horribly tortured along the way?

Ginny: ...Actually, I was just going to hope you don’t meet any hot chicks on your journey. Because clearly that would be your priority this year!

---

Harry: *watches Ginny creepily in a totally romantic non-stalkerish way on the Marauders Map*

Harry: Wow, this map would sure have been useful in Ginny’s hands, seeing as I’m not even at Hogwarts and she could make much better use of it than I!

Harry: *continues to creep*

---

Harry: Hi guys I’m back! Somebody take me to Ravenclaw tower!

Cho: I’ll help.

Ginny: No! Clearly I cannot let you go anywhere with your former crush! You might abandon your super-important mission and start making out!

Everybody reading: GINNY THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR JEALOUSY THERE IS A WAR ON!

JKR: Jealousy=romance, right?

---

Ginny: Hey, I want to fight in this battle.

Harry: Well since I trust you as my equal I think... HAHAHA no just kidding, stay in here.

Ginny: OK, I’m going to sneak out anyway and be totally inconsequential in this battle! Our relationship is so equal and healthy!

Harry: Great! I’m going to go off and have my most significant moment in the climax of this series with another girl, whose unique outlook will give me the strength and hope to keep on fighting!

Ginny: Boy,I sure hope that doesn’t undermine our romance at all!

---

Harry: So Ginny’s brother has just died, perhaps I should go comfort her, and we could have a proper reunion after being separated for a whole year... Actually though, it’s not that important, I’m gonna go fix my wand and grab a sandwich instead.

---

19 years later.

Harry and Ginny: We’re married!

Harmony fandom: WHAT.

Lunarry fandom: THE.

Drarry fandom: FREAKING.

Everybody: HELL?

Harry: This was obviously going to happen! Didn’t you see all those significant scenes we shared It was so obvious how much we meant to each other!

Ginny: We have kids named after all the people that were significant in Harry’s life! Clearly we decided on them together as equals!

Harry: I’m not even going to talk directly to my wife at any point in this chapter!

Ginny: I have such little significance in this epilogue, I could literally be anyone and it wouldn’t make any difference whatsoever!

JKR: SOULMATES!

Me:

The End.


I swear if it was the last thing I got to read in my life I would die the happiest person
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:13 AM
  #108
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OMG, I couldn't care less about Harry Potter, but The_Void mocking Harry and Ginny's relationship is the funniest thing ever!
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:22 AM
  #109
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flame.of.love (View Post)
OMG, I couldn't care less about Harry Potter, but The_Void mocking Harry and Ginny's relationship is the funniest thing ever!
ITA and "relationship" is a bit too much of a word to describe Harry/Ginny


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Old 04-06-2012, 10:28 AM
  #110
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mary ksand (View Post)
ITA and "relationship" is a bit too much of a word to describe Harry/Ginny

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo...u8qao1_500.jpg
LMFAO. You guys are cracking me up. I saw a gif (probably in this thread) of them kissing. Ew!
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:32 AM
  #111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flame.of.love (View Post)
LMFAO. You guys are cracking me up. I saw a gif (probably in this thread) of them kissing. Ew!
I think their actual scenes are even more hilarious than the mocking gifs/arts

And here is my reaction when I read the epiloge where they were married:

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Old 04-06-2012, 10:33 AM
  #112
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dead @ that picture mary.
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:40 AM
  #113
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^^ How on earth is it possible they ended up together. From what I remember Ginny was worshipping him when she was very young. It doesn't scream true love and soulmates to me.
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:47 AM
  #114
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flame.of.love (View Post)
^^ How on earth is it possible they ended up together. From what I remember Ginny was worshipping him when she was very young. It doesn't scream true love and soulmates to me.
Lust and hero worshipping is not a basis for romance at all. But apparently JKR was too busy developing other storylines - which she did greatly - and she simply forgot about it Romance was never even the main theme in HP but there was one thing we knew about Harry for sure - he hated his fame and hated being loved for his fame. And voila, in the end he marries his biggest fangirl who repeatedly admitted that she only loves him because he is the boy who lived

Not to mention she "loved" him since 10 Creepier than Naomily endgame tbh.
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:52 AM
  #115
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mary ksand (View Post)

Not to mention she "loved" him since 10 Creepier than Naomily endgame tbh.

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Old 04-06-2012, 11:04 AM
  #116
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Joined: Aug 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raybanchica (View Post)
But everything is better than:

Thomas: Hi, I'm Thomas.
Pandora: Hi, I'm Pandora
Thomas: I'm in love with you because you seem so sweet and innocent unlike those whores that surround you.
Pandora: I'm innocent because I'm useless.
Thomas: I'm leaving now, will you wait for me?
Pandora: Sure. Cook, wanna play twister?
Cook: Wanna learn how to have sex? I mean, sure I'm epically in love with your best friend whom I didn't even have a proper conversation with before I screwed her, but I'm so beautiful and awesome and sexy, I can't let you lose your virginity to someone who is less hot than me, it would be a crime tbh.
Pandora: Thomas, you're back! *epic reunion followed by painfully chemistriless 1-2 scenes and Pandora doing Cook behind her true love's back*
Thomas: You're a cheater and liar and not a sweet and innocent girl at all! How wrong I was! We are not soulmates anymore.
Pandora: Yes, we are! I'll prove it. Lets start all over.
Thomas: Well, ok. But just so you know, I cheated back.
Pandora: What? You son of a bitch, now it's totally over!
Thomas: But I forgave you when you did it and you did it first anyway! If you did it first it is a perfect excuse for me to do the same! This is how you become an OTP on Skins.
Pandora: ....
Thomas: ....
Pandora: I'm a genius!
Thomas: I can run like a dog!
Harvard: You are accepted. Now you may kiss.
Pandora & Thomas: eww, no, an awkward handholding will do.

Yeah, Skins, nothing will ever highlight the epic fail of your writing better than this
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Old 04-06-2012, 11:58 AM
  #117
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Joined: Nov 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Void (View Post)
Harry/Ginny

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present to you, the epic story of Harry and Ginny, true soulmates:

Ginny: *sees Harry* OMG LOOK SOMEONE FAMOUS IT’S THE BOY WHO LIVED MUM CAN I GET HIS AUTOGRAPH LOOK LOOK LOOK AT HIM.

Harry: I am very uncomfortable with this newfound fame.

---

Ginny: Harry, I made you a valentines card. It’s all about how famous you are and how I love how famous you are.

Harry: I really hate being famous for something I can’t remember. I’d much rather be known as just Ha-

Ginny: I LOVE YOU BOY WHO LIVED.

Harry: Never mind.

---

Harry and Ginny in Prisoner of Azkaban: ...

---

Harry and Ginny in Goblet of Fire: ...

---

Ginny: Hey Harry, I exist again now! Remember me?

Harry: No, not really.

Ron: Ginny got over her crush on you, didn’t you notice how different she was.

Harry: I’d answer you, but I got distracted by a sandwich and I’ve already forgotten who Ginny is.

---

Harry: *angst*

Ginny: Hey Harry, what’s wrong? Tell me.

Harry: Well, I told Ron and Hermione, and there are comfortably five or six other people I’d want to talk about it with, and later on I’m going to share something I couldn’t even talk about with those people with a girl I only met this book, so I wonder if I’ll be able to share this with my future soulmate? ...The answer is no, I’m just going to vaguely avoid telling you anything.

Ginny: OK! Here’s some useless and generic advice!

Harry: This conversation was very deep and meaningful!

---

Harry: I think I might be getting possessed by Voldemort.

Ginny: No you’re not, and I’d know.

Harry: ...

Ginny: Because of that time I got possessed by Voldemort?

Harry: ...

Ginny: You saved me? In the Chamber of Secrets?

Harry: ...

Ginny: It was the most traumatic experience of my life? I almost died?

Harry: ...

Ginny: You won the house cup because of it.

Harry: Oh yeah I remember now!

Ginny: ...

---

Ginny: Hey guys! I’m going to insult my future sister-in-law for no real reason!

Harry: LOL.

Meaningful scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Meaningful scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Any scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Ginny: *kisses Dean*

Harry: This makes me angry! Clearly the deep and meaningful friendship we obviously had you just didn’t see it OK it happened off-screen just roll with it has turned into something more!

Penis metaphor: Hi guys!

---

Harry: *does more important stuff for most of the book, occasionally stopping every few chapter for an obligatory mention of him staring at Ginny*

---

Meaningful scenes between Harry and Ginny: ...

---

Ginny: Hey, I won the Quidditch Cup!

Harry: *smooch!*

Ginny: Wow, that was kinda rude, I mean I got over you and had a load of character development... except wait, I never got over you really and was just faking it.

Harry: That makes perfect sense! And does not at all reek of inconsistency!

---

Harry and Ginny: So now we get to share some actual scenes, right? Some dialogue maybe? Something to show us together, to show how much we mean to each other?

JKR: Nah I’ll just throw in half a paragraph vaguely alluding to some ill-defined stuff that you did together, come on guys I’ve got a plot to write here.

---

Harry: We should break up!

Ginny: Wait, what?

Harry: Yeah, if we stay together Voldemort will use you to get to me.

Ginny: Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. I’m the sister of the guy you’re travelling with, my family are known Dumbledore supporters, if Voldemort has any spies on you then he already knows we’ve been seeing each other...

Harry: Just trust me, I saw Spiderman, OK?

Ginny: OK. And for someone reason I’m going to be totally OK with this. Even though recently I’ve been defined by my wish to be treated as an equal and not have people make decisions for me, to the extent that I broke up with a guy for helping me through a door. Inconsistent characterisation equals true love, right?

Harry: Probably!

Ginny: Great! Now go off and kill Voldemort. Did you know that the main reason I like you is because you’re this great hero? You’ll never be happy unless you fight Voldemort!

Harry: Wow, what a profound misunderstanding of my character.

Ginny: So are you going to tell me what you’re doing?

Harry: Well you’re my soulmate and future wife so... HAHAHA no I don’t trust you enough to tell you a single thing.

---

Gabrielle: Hi Harry! I am a twelve-year-old who has a crush on you!

Ginny: I’m going to act jealous of this! Because that’s not dumb at all!

---

Ginny: Hey Harry, I just wanted to wish you goodbye and hope...

Harry: That I can complete my mission? That I don’t die? That me and my friends aren’t horribly tortured along the way?

Ginny: ...Actually, I was just going to hope you don’t meet any hot chicks on your journey. Because clearly that would be your priority this year!

---

Harry: *watches Ginny creepily in a totally romantic non-stalkerish way on the Marauders Map*

Harry: Wow, this map would sure have been useful in Ginny’s hands, seeing as I’m not even at Hogwarts and she could make much better use of it than I!

Harry: *continues to creep*

---

Harry: Hi guys I’m back! Somebody take me to Ravenclaw tower!

Cho: I’ll help.

Ginny: No! Clearly I cannot let you go anywhere with your former crush! You might abandon your super-important mission and start making out!

Everybody reading: GINNY THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR JEALOUSY THERE IS A WAR ON!

JKR: Jealousy=romance, right?

---

Ginny: Hey, I want to fight in this battle.

Harry: Well since I trust you as my equal I think... HAHAHA no just kidding, stay in here.

Ginny: OK, I’m going to sneak out anyway and be totally inconsequential in this battle! Our relationship is so equal and healthy!

Harry: Great! I’m going to go off and have my most significant moment in the climax of this series with another girl, whose unique outlook will give me the strength and hope to keep on fighting!

Ginny: Boy,I sure hope that doesn’t undermine our romance at all!

---

Harry: So Ginny’s brother has just died, perhaps I should go comfort her, and we could have a proper reunion after being separated for a whole year... Actually though, it’s not that important, I’m gonna go fix my wand and grab a sandwich instead.

---

19 years later.

Harry and Ginny: We’re married!

Harmony fandom: WHAT.

Lunarry fandom: THE.

Drarry fandom: FREAKING.

Everybody: HELL?

Harry: This was obviously going to happen! Didn’t you see all those significant scenes we shared It was so obvious how much we meant to each other!

Ginny: We have kids named after all the people that were significant in Harry’s life! Clearly we decided on them together as equals!

Harry: I’m not even going to talk directly to my wife at any point in this chapter!

Ginny: I have such little significance in this epilogue, I could literally be anyone and it wouldn’t make any difference whatsoever!

JKR: SOULMATES!

Me:

The End.


ALL OF THIS. That's the best analysis of Harry/Ginny ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-06-2012, 12:07 PM
  #118
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mary ksand (View Post)
But everything is better than:

Thomas: Hi, I'm Thomas.
Pandora: Hi, I'm Pandora
Thomas: I'm in love with you because you seem so sweet and innocent unlike those whores that surround you.
Pandora: I'm innocent because I'm useless.
Thomas: I'm leaving now, will you wait for me?
Pandora: Sure. Cook, wanna play twister?
Cook: Wanna learn how to have sex? I mean, sure I'm epically in love with your best friend whom I didn't even have a proper conversation with before I screwed her, but I'm so beautiful and awesome and sexy, I can't let you lose your virginity to someone who is less hot than me, it would be a crime tbh.
Pandora: Thomas, you're back! *epic reunion followed by painfully chemistriless 1-2 scenes and Pandora doing Cook behind her true love's back*
Thomas: You're a cheater and liar and not a sweet and innocent girl at all! How wrong I was! We are not soulmates anymore.
Pandora: Yes, we are! I'll prove it. Lets start all over.
Thomas: Well, ok. But just so you know, I cheated back.
Pandora: What? You son of a bitch, now it's totally over!
Thomas: But I forgave you when you did it and you did it first anyway! If you did it first it is a perfect excuse for me to do the same! This is how you become an OTP on Skins.
Pandora: ....
Thomas: ....
Pandora: I'm a genius!
Thomas: I can run like a dog!
Harvard: You are accepted. Now you may kiss.
Pandora & Thomas: eww, no, an awkward handholding will do.

Yeah, Skins, nothing will ever highlight the epic fail of your writing better than this
oh jfc thomas/pandora is the worst thing ever in the history of all things.
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Old 04-06-2012, 12:41 PM
  #119
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raybanchica's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,858
Quote:
Originally Posted by mary ksand (View Post)
But everything is better than:

Thomas: Hi, I'm Thomas.
Pandora: Hi, I'm Pandora
Thomas: I'm in love with you because you seem so sweet and innocent unlike those whores that surround you.
Pandora: I'm innocent because I'm useless.
Thomas: I'm leaving now, will you wait for me?
Pandora: Sure. Cook, wanna play twister?
Cook: Wanna learn how to have sex? I mean, sure I'm epically in love with your best friend whom I didn't even have a proper conversation with before I screwed her, but I'm so beautiful and awesome and sexy, I can't let you lose your virginity to someone who is less hot than me, it would be a crime tbh.
Pandora: Thomas, you're back! *epic reunion followed by painfully chemistriless 1-2 scenes and Pandora doing Cook behind her true love's back*
Thomas: You're a cheater and liar and not a sweet and innocent girl at all! How wrong I was! We are not soulmates anymore.
Pandora: Yes, we are! I'll prove it. Lets start all over.
Thomas: Well, ok. But just so you know, I cheated back.
Pandora: What? You son of a bitch, now it's totally over!
Thomas: But I forgave you when you did it and you did it first anyway! If you did it first it is a perfect excuse for me to do the same! This is how you become an OTP on Skins.
Pandora: ....
Thomas: ....
Pandora: I'm a genius!
Thomas: I can run like a dog!
Harvard: You are accepted. Now you may kiss.
Pandora & Thomas: eww, no, an awkward handholding will do.

Yeah, Skins, nothing will ever highlight the epic fail of your writing better than this


effy: i made this test to see if you're fit and mysterious to surf and turf me.
cook: i filled it in bb. now let's fook on this desk.
---
cook: after all that excitement i fancy a fook. katie? pandora? eff?
effy, pandora and katie: no thanks. you're repulsive.
cook: i'll take JJ to a strip club instead. he just can't wait.
---
effy: my parents split up and i'm upset.
cook: come and have sex in your best friends cupboard.
effy: sounds good. it's not like her mum is asleep on the bed in the same room as us or anything. no, nothing like that at all!
---
3 hours later
pandora: twister!!!
cook: sex!!!
---
cook: fancy a fook eff?
effy: you slept with my best friend last night. i'm not going anywhere near your crayola dick.
cook: if you're not gonna shag us, then you can get the hell out.
---
effy: i just realised i love freddie. but i can't stand the love so i'm gonna fck cook instead.
---
cook: she loves you freds. but she can't stand the love so she fooks me instead.
---
effy: i'm bored of having meaningless sex with cook. he's dumped.
cook: but i bought you a fookin cake.
---
cook: i fooked your best friend eff. multiple times. hear that thomas? me fooked your girlfriend.
thomas: i fell in love with this girl. donuts!
everyone: go away cook. we hate you.
effy: oh my god i was tripping and i did something awful. i'm gonna run away with cook cos i don't deserve any better.
---
effy: maybe my friends still care about me after all. freddie i love you. come get me bb.
cook: what the fook. how dare you take her away from me! i love her so much. i just fookin love her. WE ARE COOK AND EFFEH!!
raybanchica is offline  
Old 04-06-2012, 12:41 PM
  #120
Elite Fan

 
mary ksand's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 31,088
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie_Jeanne (View Post)
oh jfc thomas/pandora is the worst thing ever in the history of all things.
I honestly never saw a fictional couple that would double! cheat on each other and STILL not only be endgame but actually get a happy ending. Well, if you count Harvard and painfully chemistriless handholding a happy ending


ETA:

Quote:
effy: i made this test to see if you're fit and mysterious to surf and turf me.
cook: i filled it in bb. now let's fook on this desk.
---
cook: after all that excitement i fancy a fook. katie? pandora? eff?
effy, pandora and katie: no thanks. you're repulsive.
cook: i'll take JJ to a strip club instead. he just can't wait.
---
effy: my parents split up and i'm upset.
cook: come and have sex in your best friends cupboard.
effy: sounds good. it's not like her mum is asleep on the bed in the same room as us or anything. no, nothing like that at all!
---
3 hours later
pandora: twister!!!
cook: sex!!!
---
cook: fancy a fook eff?
effy: you slept with my best friend last night. i'm not going anywhere near your crayola dick.
cook: if you're not gonna shag us, then you can get the hell out.
---
effy: i just realised i love freddie. but i can't stand the love so i'm gonna fck cook instead.
---
cook: she loves you freds. but she can't stand the love so she fooks me instead.
---
effy: i'm bored of having meaningless sex with cook. he's dumped.
cook: but i bought you a fookin cake.
---
cook: i fooked your best friend eff. multiple times. hear that thomas? me fooked your girlfriend.
thomas: i fell in love with this girl. donuts!
everyone: go away cook. we hate you.
effy: oh my god i was tripping and i did something awful. i'm gonna run away with cook cos i don't deserve any better.
---
effy: maybe my friends still care about me after all. freddie i love you. come get me bb.
cook: what the fook. how dare you take her away from me! i love her so much. i just fookin love her. WE ARE COOK AND EFFEH!!
OMG, perfect Ceffy were so ridiculous and so was Cook's "love" for Effy, it is just too hard to buy into it. Effy never even loved Cook to begin with but the worst thing was Cook's pathetic behaviour, how all he wanted was to get laid and then when he figured out that a girl he happened to have sex with loved his best friend he started whining and crying about how his heart was broken and how it's always gonna be him and Effy and the whole WORLD knows them
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