Zebbers

So you think that if you're gay you simply cannot be monogamous?? Or that if you are you're conforming to a hetero concept!?? Don't agree hun!

Your friends might fk around while convincing themselves that they're committed but I don't see that as being the norm ...

I wouldn't expect Brian to settle down with the pipe and slippers ... but even the great Kinney himself conceded that he couldn't continue to be an over the hill club boy forever!!!

Let's face it, Justin is 12 years younger and he'll still be able to go at it all night (and day) for as long as Brian wants him to!!!

suzie231

I am not saying that they cannot but rather they choose not to until later in life- of course there are some that do but just the same as some heterosexuals never get married and have kids!!!

Fanquinine

I don't think that "Fcking around" means you're not committed to a relationship, as long as you're not doing it behind your parner's back, of course!

The thing is, gay, straight or undecided, nobody can claim that is, or was, in a long term relationship without EVER feeling attracted to someone else. That doesn't mean you don't truly love the person you're with, it just means that you're human and have natural human desires. Humans aren't a naturally monogamous species, or else there wouldn't be so many infidelities. That "I love this person so much that I don't feel attracted to anyone else" thing only happens in stories, or perhaps in the first months/years of passion. People just like to think otherwise because it's "prettier".

I agree that Brian can't be a club boy forever, but that doesn't mean that he (or Justin) won't eventually find other guys here or there that he wants to sleep with, and why shouldn't he? It's a relationship, not a maximum security prison, right?

suzie231

[QUOTE=Fanquinine;77211716]I don't think that "Fcking around" means you're not committed to a relationship, as long as you're not doing it behind your parner's back, of course!

The thing is, gay, straight or undecided, nobody can claim that is, or was, in a long term relationship without EVER feeling attracted to someone else. That doesn't mean you don't truly love the person you're with, it just means that you're human and have natural human desires. ]

I agree- in fact I am always suspicious of people that say they have never looked at another person- because you are in a relationship does not make you immune to someone else!!!! And if you are a man and not having the dreaded unwanted pregnancy hanging over you if you are gay then why would not you enjoy what's on offer? I never felt that Brian's sexual liaisons detracted from his feelings for Justin- they were separate and he did not engage his emotions- he had being doing this up until he met Justin- with great success!!!

Fanquinine

Exactly, if someone had love and sex in completely different sections of is brain, that's Brian

While at a first glance people might say Brian has commitment issues, I don't think that's exactly the case. Actually, as I see it, he developed such a strong dedication to Justin that I can't see him feeling the same for anyone else, and I'm not even making use of my ultra-romantic self to say this If that's not commitment, I don't know what is.

♥ Gale's Fragile Beauty ♥

Okay…wait…I'm confused. So, if I think someones attractive…or even really really totally hot and sexy, I should have sex with them? Because I've been doing this marriage thing wrong for all these years. I should be having sex with a LOT more people than my husband.

Off I go!

Fanquinine

Yes, you should! And so should your husband! You could both have had much more fun!

Zebbers

What can I say I'm off to a wedding on Saturday and from everything I know about these boys, they certainly haven't fd anyone else since they got together .. just over seven years ago!

Guess they're both missing a lot of dk but strangely I don't think they give a toss!!!!

Fanquinine

I bet they already did at some point And probably will again

I guess Suzie and I are the only ones to see the beauty in not letting your sex life meddle with your love life?

Zebbers

Guess you're young enough not to let it affect you! But for some people they are one and the same!!!!! Wow! Imagine that!!! (S**t I know I sound like Eli and Monty here and I don't mean to!!!!!)

I know what these boys have been through to be together and to get to this day and I know that their love counts for something.

So are you happy for your boyfriend to fk around Marta?

Fanquinine

I was about to talk about that. Who's reading this will think that I live a crazy free-love life I don't. For one, I'm way to antissocial for that so I have no idea where I would find a guy to fck around with if I wanted to

I know my boyfriend agrees with my views on this theoretically, but we don't have any kind of open relationship agreement, so he'd probably would be hurt if I did that behind his back. I guess I would be too, a bit, but not as much as I would be a few years ago, to be honest, because nowadays I'm more certain of his affection for me and I do believe in what I've been preaching here

We're all products of our society, and that reflects on the ways we all feel about some things... What I think is there would be considerably less relationship problems if everyone could separate their feelings from their sex.

Zebbers

So, no open relationship, just infidelity. There is a HUGE difference between the two whatever your sexual preference.

Fanquinine

When you live in a society where the norm for this kind of relationship is having sexual exclusivity, it's assumed, when you start a relationship, that's how it's gonna be. So, if you act differently without establishing a different "agreement", you're betraying your partners trust. That's a given.

What I think is, that shouldn't be the norm!

Because, you see, this is one of the many ways in which our society constrains sexuality (one of the biggest if not the biggest taboos existent nowadays)....
"You can have sex freely, as long as it's:
1. with someone of the opposite gender;
2. solely with the single person that you choose to make a contract of sexual exclusivity with;
3. restricted to certain, more widely accepted practices:
etc.
etc.
etc."

That's what I think!

I also want to kill my PC for being so slow, but that's a different story

suzie231

[QUOTE=Fanquinine;77213945]When you live in a society where the norm for this kind of relationship is having sexual exclusivity, it's assumed, when you start a relationship, that's how it's gonna be. So, if you act differently without establishing a different "agreement", you're betraying your partners trust. That's a given.

We are on the same wavelength- when I have not had a steady boyfriend/relationship and felt like having sex I wished society would accept this but if I have sex with someone I would be called a slag as a woman. I am not saying I do indulge in sex in this way but I am constricted by society as Marta says whereas men are more free.

I do think however that women tend to want love and sex generally but the same is not true of all men- many are up for it without any emotional connection.

That said you all seem to be so irresistible and adorable I am sure you do not have any concerns in this regard!!!! (Whew got out of that one!!!)

Fanquinine

Yeah, people having double standards for men and women irritates me too. If a man has a lot of sex, he's virile, if a woman does the same, she's a **** How does that make sense?

It makes me think of that last campaign Brian was working on, the "Rekindle the flame" one. Brian says women associate nice sex to a cozy fireplace with your life partner... "Right Cynthia?" And she says, "Some women" as in "Not me!"

Speaking of that, I liked Brian's first suggestion "Your wife doesn't need to know... neither does your girlfriend", but I think the alternative "neither does your boyfriend" would prove to be counterproductive