We lay in his bed, spooning...only it was much more than that. We were making out, hard. We couldn't stop. My head was turned back towards him, his strong hand cupped along my jawline as our mouths smacked together again and again. We were animalistic - our tongues competing for air time inside one another. Alternating bites and sucks on each others' lips as we pulled our faces closer. His top arm was draped over me tenderly, almost lovingly, holding me close to him as he devoured my face.

He took one long, slow drag of a kiss off me, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth as he let out a moan so primal I felt myself dripping down my leg...again. I echoed his moan, loudly escaping through my very parted lips. He responded by diving forward again, his mouth totally enveloping mine, the insatiable sound of the collison rattling through me.
We'd ****ed each other four times, and still we needed more. The plan had been to sleep, but it wasn't happening. It'd been an honest attempt, a good motive - but it was a doomed effort from the start. We just couldn't extinguish the flames.

I didn't understand what had come over me...over us. All I knew was that I needed him so badly that it ached. I needed him wrapped around me and I needed him inside of me. But right now, most of all, I needed his tongue. I needed it in my mouth, I needed it running along my lips, I needed it massaging my own. And I desperately needed his hungry moans - vibrating from his throat, sometimes escaping from his mouth when we separated for a second. I fed on them. The sensation of the sound waves moving through him and down into me was a sort of sex in itself.

Eventually, we'd had enough of the restraint. We stopped pretending that sleep was going to happen, and let ourselves succumb to whatever demonic entity was surely puppeteering our bodies together. Brian's hand that had been holding me so tenderly turned, suddenly, into claws - digging his fingers and nails into my side. He pulled me over to face him with such swift speed that I didn't have time to think or to breathe - only to feel my loins quaking in response. My breath caught in my throat for a moment as I was met with a clear view of his gorgeous face. My whole body was ready... again.

As I landed still on my opposite side and lay facing him, our bodies pressed so tightly against one another, our kisses paused for a moment, and we looked each other deeply in the eyes. I saw such lust, such hunger, such yearning, such intensity that I almost felt afraid - almost. It was as if the passion crowded out all room for any other emotions, period. I then watched as Brian's eyes fell down over my face, studying me, taking me in. For a moment, he lifted his hand to touch my cheek tenderly, running his fingertips along my cheekbones. His look temporarily changed from that of insatiable hunger and horniness to one of admiration. It was surprising, and it stirred a different kind of warmth inside me. I didn't have too much time to analyze him, however, because he ran his pointer finger along my lips, then lifted my chin up to kiss him again. There were one, two, three softer kisses...and then the fire flared up again. His arms wrapped around me so tightly I felt my breath straining, and his mouth...and ****... pressed so hard against mine I couldn't do anything but moan.

The first time I saw Brian Kinney was through the haze of smoke and mood lighting at Woody's. I had accompanied Mel and Linds to celebrate their big announcement - they were engaged. I knew nothing about Brian Kinney but from the way the girls were describing him, he didn't seem like he was a wise choice to try to celebrate with (for anyone really), but especially for those who were excited about something that he clearly didn't support. They were rolling their eyes and laughing as they exchanged sarcastic remarks about how he'd make jokes and dismiss their happiness.
I didn't know who this guy was, but I was already starting to hate him. The way the girls went on and on about his ways ...his arrogance, his tricking...I didn't understand why anyone would call him a friend. How anyone could. Especially Linds - she was so defensive over him, and right after joking about him, too. It was almost suspicious. If I hadn't known her to be the carpet muncher she was, I would've sensed a red flag for the upcoming nuptuals right off the bat.
Yes, I was really starting to hate this "Brian Kinney", whose legacy preceeded him. That was, of course, until we met...

"You want a beer, lambskin?" Mel asked Linds, smiling with those goofy eyes only a newly engaged lady could have. Linds returned the smile and leaned in.
"Yes, thank you, pumpkin." She giggled as they gave each other a loud smooch. Mel looked into her eyes for a second after she pulled back, then she nodded towards me.
"How 'bout you, doll?"
"Sure, thanks."
Mel nodded again, giving me a slight smile, and then turned to walk to the bar. Linds made eye contact with me and let out a long sigh, tapping her fingers against the high top table.
"So, who all is coming tonight, anyway?" I asked, killing the awkward silence threating to start.
"Oh, everyone! Well, all of our guys, that is. Ted and Emmett, Michael and Ben, Justin and - "
"Brian." Mel said in synch with Linds as she returned, placing the three beers on the table. Linds widened her eyes as she nodded, biting her lip. Mel's disdain for the man was so clear. It was obvious he'd been a topic of many discussions in their relationship...and probably the subject of many fights.
"You two officially announcing my arrivals now?" a deep male voice came from behind me. The girls looked up, Linds with a smile on her face, Mel with an irritated scoff.
"Because if so, you really ought to put more umph into it - make me sound important." He approached the table, standing between Mel and I. He had a smug smile on his face, impressed by his own wit. He had a brown leather jacket wrapped over a black v-neck sweater, and jeans covering the tops of his boots. His hair was spiked up in the front but there was no sign of any gel on it - it just seemed to defy gravity.
"Brian," said Mel and Linds, in synch, once again.
"Greetings, lesbians." He chuckled and got the smug look on his face once again, so proud of himself. "And who's this?" He nodded towards me, looking back to the girls for an answer.
"This is our friend, Sage. We met through a mutual friend who works at the Gay and Lesbian Center." Linds said, smiling as she looked at me.
He extended a hand out, his head cocked to the side, an overly confident expression on his face. His shoulders were hunched, and he was leaning against the table. I hesitantly extended my own arm, meeting his hand in an awkward, but firm, shake.
"Sage? What're you into some sorta Wiccan ***t?" He gave a half chuckle as he spoke, blinking a hundred miles a minute as he slightly shook his head.
I scoffed. "Well, my mother was," I replied flatly. I wasn't offended by his remark, just a little caught off guard. I knew I didn't owe this dude my life story - but at the same time, for some reason I didn't mind sharing with him. He was obviously very arrogant, yet he managed to have an open an inviting energy to him, simulataneously. I couldn't help but be intrigued.
"No ***t," he said, taking his hand back and then folding his arms in front of him to lean further onto the table. "What about your father?"
I took a sip of my beer. It made the satisfying ploop sound as I titled the bottle and set it back down. "Father's f***ed."
He started doing the crazy blinking thing again as he glanced at the table for a second, his brows furrowing. "f***ed out, ****ed up...or getting f***ed?" The last one made him smile again - though it wasn't a full smile. I was noticing that his mouth didn't seem to extend that far.
"Just f***ed," I replied, flatly.
"Well I'll be damned," he straighted himself upright, looking me dead in the eyes. "That makes two of us." More blinking insued, and he tugged at the corner of his mouth, almost suggesting he wanted to smirk.
"B-Brian, where's Justin?" Linds nervously cleared her throat, changing the subject. Mel just drank her beer, glaring casually at him.
"Not coming," he said, and was met with immediate expressions of disappointment from the girls. "He's working on a project. He'll probably be up all night." He shrugged. "The lad's a busy bee. But, he said to send along his regrets for missing such a joyous and momentous occasion." He smiled a little bigger now, looking down at the table as he did his charmy blink thing.
"***t, that's too bad," said Mel. Linds nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, it's heartbreaking, really." Brian said, his voice devoid of any emotion. "Well I'm gonna get myself a drink so I can cheers to the happy couple." With that, he did a 180 and strutted off towards the bar.
"We apologize for that," Mel said, looking at me as she set her now empty bottle down on the table.
"Yeah, sorry. Brian can be a little..."
"***t?" Mel said with a nod, finishing Linds' sentence.
"Yeah." Linds whispered, giving me an apologetic smile.
I had to laugh. "It's all good, guys. I've met worse."
I had no idea.

Mel and Linds were off dancing, as were Michael and Ben. Debbie and Vic had stopped by at one point, but didn't stay long because Vic was tired. I'd ended up at a table now with Brian, Ted and Emmett.
"So, Sage, are you uh, seeing anyone?" Ted asked.
"Christ, Theodore, are you so desperate that you're hitting on lesbians now?" Brian shook his head as he stared blankly at the mob of people dancing, bored.
"I was just attempting to make polite conversation. Y'know, it's a thing we mortals do sometimes," Ted said, a touch of irritation in his voice. Emmett laughed, playing with the umbrella in his drink. A smile crossed Brian's face, the mark of him taking pride in having successfully annoyed one of his "friends".
"Well I for one appreciate it, Ted, thank you for asking," I said, flashing him a friendly smile, which he returned. Brian smirked and took a swig of his beer. "But no, I'm not at the moment," I said.
Ted chuckled. "Yeah, well, join the club," he said. He reached out and clinked his beer against mine.
"Ehh, it's not so bad..." I said with a shrug. "No asss to deal with."
The boys all laughed, hard - and I realized immediately what I'd said.
"Whoops," I said. "My bad."
Ted gave me a reassuring nod, "Slick," he said, smiling, and gave me a wink.
The song changed and Emmett immediately jumped up, clapping, a huge smile on his face. "Oh my god! I love this song!! Teddy, come dance with me!" he voice was so giddy, it was adorable. His cheeriness was infectious. I had to smile.
Ted gave a hard eyeroll and hung his head with a groan. Emmett hooked his hand under Ted's bicep and dragged him up from his stool. "Do I have to?" Ted whined, as Emmett started pulling him away.
"Yes, you have to. It's your duty as my best friend," Emmett asserted, and seconds later they were on the dance floor. Emmett was ecstatic, while Ted wore a pout and reluctantly started to dance.
"Well well, alone at last," Brian said, raising his eyebrows as he glanced quickly at me and then down at the table in front of him.
"Sorry your boyfriend couldn't make it," I said. I was sure this wasn't his idea of a good time.
Brian immediatley scoffed, shaking his head. His face once again void of all emotion. "He's not my boyfriend," he said quietly.
"St, my mistake," I said, feeling I'd obviously hit some sort of nerve.
"That's alright, you're new here. It can be forgiven," he said, making eye contact with me long enough to give me that little tease of an almost smile. I thought about asking him for more details, but decided quickly against it. I wasn't entirely sure I even wanted to know, given his reaction.
"So," he said, clearing his throat. "When are you joing them?" he said, nodding his head towards Mel and Linds on the dancefloor.
"I'm not much of a dancer," I said.
Brian blinked and broke out his little smile with a quick shake of his head. "No, I mean, when are you joining the ring of the circus known as homo holy matrimony?" He chuckled to himself as he looked at me, awaiting my answer.
"Pffft," I scoffed. "Try never."
Brian swallowed, his eyes widening. He gave a surprised, slow nod as he processed my response. "Really? Do tell," he said, folding his arms in front of him and leaning in, suddenly the most interested he'd been in conversing the entire night.
"I have no interest spending my life in a law-binding prison," I said with a shrug. Brian's eyes widened further, and it seemed like a trace of light was emanating behind them, which had been absent before. I wasn't sure if he was aware of it or not, but the corner of his mouth was starting to form an actual smile. For some reason, my heart skipped a beat. I swallowed and continued, not breaking eye contact with him.
"Besides, I think people grow and change, and who's to say they can do that if they spend all their time with one person? How does anybody ever learn who they really are when they're so busy trying to be a half of a whole?" He'd gotten me on my soapbox now. Brian's mouth opened for a second, but he just let out a bit of an exhale then began chewing his bottom lip. It looked like he was really thinking over what I was saying. For some reason I kept on talking.
"I've always lived my life based on my own rules - following my own schedule, doing what I want to do. Why the fk would I throw that away now... or at any point in time? Why would I sacrifice my freedom, my happiness, my life?" I said, noticing I was getting more passionate all of a sudden. When I broke out of my concentration, I noticed Brian was leaning much further in, and was way closer to me than he'd been when I'd started talking. One of his eyebrows shot up as he held his intense eye contact with me, and started to speak.
"It's a prison alright. It's a fing institution," he began, and then swallowed. "...because only those who are truly insane would actually put themselves willingly into such an absurd situation," he said, his eyes totally lit up now. He couldn't repress the smile that came over his face, either - but it wasn't a friendly smile. It was devilish, wicked. He let his words linger in the silence that followed, nodding slightly.
I couldn't look away - his green eyes held me captive. I literally didn't know what the fk was going on, but it was like my body was paralyzed all of a sudden. Brian Kinney was looking into me, and his very eyes were holding me in place. Could he sense it? Did he know what he was doing...that he had this power over people? Is that why he looked so goddamn smug and proud of himself? Why his smile was slowly growing even more?
I swallowed, anxiously. I wouldn't have minded continuing to expand on my point of view, but suddenly words weren't exactly coming to me. I did, however, feel a disturbing tightness in my chest. Nerves?
Brian chuckled quietly, never taking his eyes away from mine. He did blink several times, however. "So, what would you say to us getting the **** out of here?" His left eyebrow was raised, and he wore the proudest, most confident smile I'd seen yet.
And my knees grew weak.
Suddenly, there were words in my head - a voice screaming, "Don't do it!!" And yet -
"Sure," I replied, somehow sounding confident and cool myself.
Brian gave a brief nod, his smile calming to a pleased smirk as he started to gather his jacket.
What the fk had I done?