Manu9

galesgirl645

Thanks for the new thread

Manu9

You're welcome

Thanks for finding a title

galesgirl645

I didn't even realize it could be a title till Vered pointed it out

Manu9

Those are the best titles, the ones that come to mind without you even realizing it

Anyway, it's very true. You should always be who you are and if you do decide to change something, you should do it for yourself and not to please someone else.

WildRose

Thanks for the new thread, Manu
I agree, I love the title, Claudia.

I think it was true for all the main characters in S1 esp Brian, Justin Micheal Ted and Emmet, and even M/L. They started their personal self discovery journey and even though they had a long way to go at the end of S1 they all evolved a lot since the pilot.
One of the important insights they had is that you can't change who you are to please others.

galesgirl645

I think though that Michael did want to change himself to please David and Ted wasn't satisfied with who he was.

Manu9

Michael did want to change himself to be what he thought David wanted but it didn't work, exactly because you can't change on the basis of what other people want. You have to want to change and to feel comfortable with the changes you're making. Still bring yourself, I guess.

soulmatejunkee

Mh, not that David really wanted Michael to change...

I think Michael wanted to change himself. He just had no idea who he really wanted to be or who he really was. He hadn't found himself back then. I mean, he's still looking for his way in the beginning of Season 2.

Like he said "My dream is to know what my dream is" and IMO that's the way he acts. He tries and tries and tries ... no one really asks him to change anything, but he does, because he's insecure about who he is and who he wants to be.

The reason why David/Michael didn't work or didn't last was not so much about "you can't change yourself to please others" IMO.

galesgirl645

It might not be the whole reason they didn't work out but I think there was something of that going on. David wanted a real partner not just a boyfriend and Michael tried to act this way but he just wasn't ready.

WildRose

Exactly

It wasn't an easy revelation for Micheal or Ted, but eventually they faced the realization that it's not worth it, because when you try to please others you lose yourself.

Ted had to learn how to accept himself first and Micheal needed to regain control over his life. I actually feel sorry for him when he said 'My dream is to know what my dream is' because it felt s though he is losing his way and his focus in life.

Manu9

Steffi I didn't mean Michael changed because David wanted it. Infact I said "Michael did want to change himself to be what he thought David wanted".

Michael always felt a little awkward with David because David was quite different: older, more mature, with a good job and money... David liked Michael as he was, but Michael felt he came short so he tried to change. But that change wasn't something right for Michael, because he was trying to be someone he was not.

galesgirl645

I think David could be controlling sometimes.

Manu9

Mostly he was controlling when it came to Michael and Brian. He didn't want Michael to be so attached to Brian anymore because I think he was jealous.

galesgirl645

I mean it's true that the friendship between Michael and Brian was unhealthy but the way David went about it was not the best.