eternalfate

You 2 are a perfect fan/celeb match up with your personalities. lol

a fine mess

Oh yes, we are! That's true.

eternalfate

a fine mess

I got an IDONTMIND shirt to support Chris Wood's campaign for mental health. I believe in it and have been more open about my own. I wouldn't say I have depression (or at least not very severe), but just not the strongest mentally. I was bullied in middle school and since then haven't been very confident and have a lot of insecurities. It was significant bullying too. I was told I was stupid. People stepped on the heels of my shoes in the hallway. I was slapped for pushing the top of my mechanical pencil for more lead (for the sound it made). I was kicked at the park. I was teased and made fun of for my weight and height. I was teased also for being Chinese. The list goes on.

I gave up on a relationship before it even started (through Coffee Meets Bagel) because he called me "very pretty". That scared me. It freaked me out for how early on he said it. Totally stupid of me. We left it in good terms though because we talked about our insecurities, and he mentioned having them too in the past.

So I am passionate about being kind and showing kindness to others, because I know how much it hurt to be otherwise.

ETA: And then this...

I missed that Inside of You's goal is to normalize mental health. That's awesome.

TomsEnough

^ I regret to hear about the bullying you have had to face.

eternalfate

a fine mess

I feel like that experience made me more empathic and compassionate though. It makes sense, if you think about it. I tell people that you don't know a good day unless you've had a bad day. Being picked on has humbled me, but also made me aim to please everyone. I have become more sensitive to criticism, which doesn't affect me as much as for some because I also always see the positive side of things. You think I need to work on something? I agree, and know that you just want me to grow as a person. That's how I see things. I mean, criticism still hurts, but the blow is less if you put a positive spin on it and can step in their shoes to understand why it was said.

So while I am trying, there will always be the voice in my head to tell me that I'm inadequate. And it's like I expect to hear that so if I hear opposite, it's surprising and I don't know how to respond. Or get scared (that's why dating is difficult). A friend once told me that I need to look in the mirror each day and tell myself "you're beautiful". That won't happen because that's so not me. Similar to Chris Wood, I am also far more harsh on myself than on anyone else.

So yeah, no regrets or shame to admit that I don't have it all figured out and still working on myself. I just focus on the happy so you wouldn't ever know.

eternalfate

a fine mess

Yeah, exactly. So I don't believe it's depression. It's just me and my personality, I say. I am a Hufflepuff and an ENFJ. Reading the personality traits for ENFJ resembles me a lot. They talk about how the emotions of others are felt to me so very deeply, like I am going through that with you at that very moment.

My letter to Michael is my next favorite, after Laura's. I really felt connected to them, even more after the recent podcast.

I need to listen to John's, Kristin's, and Tom's [both of his, lol] again to feel inspired. I don't think Erica has been on his podcast yet, right? Justin has though!

eternalfate

a fine mess

Yeah, it inspired me to write more in my letter than I planned. I don't recall Michael opening up about his mental health on any other podcast episode. I, of course, haven't listened to them all. Just listened to the guests I wanted to/most familiar with. From everyone I've met, I did feel happiest with my chat with Michael and Laura, as I've mentioned here. Not that the others weren't kind, Michael and Laura just went a bit more out of their way to appreciate their fans, or make us feel that way. John and Kristin are my next favorites and then Erica and Tom. Hopefully I'll be able to talk a bit more with Erica and Tom this time. Erica did share with me how she joined Crisis so we did get some good interactions in. I feel it's their personalities to be more reserved and not as outwardly enthusiastic as Michael and John.

eternalfate

a fine mess

I don't think I would be a Michael. I'd be between a Michael and Tom. I'm not sure why I am comparing my personality to dudes. I guess because none of the ladies are like Michael, or even a bit like Michael.

eternalfate

a fine mess

I am looking forward to Smallville Nights again. Michael won't be signing or having photo ops on Friday, he'll just be at the SV Nights event.