The Simpsons - Funny quotes #7 - Page 3

**Grilka** · 10-22-2009, 09:15 PM

Bart: Grandpa, do you think I could have been in the Flying Hellfish?
Grandpa: You're a give-em'-hell daredevil with a never-say-die attitude and a fourth-grade education! You could have made sergeant!

**Grilka** · 10-26-2009, 08:58 PM

Homer: Dont tell my kids I'm going to jail. Tell them I joined the Blue Man Group. I'm the fat one.

**Majora's Mask** · 10-27-2009, 04:40 PM

Lisa: Cheer up, Dad. Did you know the Chinese use the same word for 'crisis' as they do for 'opportunity'?
Homer: Yes. Crisitunity.

**~+Yamiko** · 10-28-2009, 10:02 AM

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way, because I'm not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: Second is anger.
Homer: [yelling] Why you little!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: [worried] What's after fear? What's after fear?!
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me outta this. I'll make it worth your while.
Dr. Hibbert: Finally acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

Martin: [campaign speech] In a sample taken in this very classroom, a state inspector found 1.74 parts per million of asbestos!
Bart: That's not enough! We demand MORE asbestos!
[leads the class in a chant of `MORE ASBESTOS']

Hey, I kind of have an idea/challenge for the next thread. Suppose if we can name a funny/favorite quote from every episode in order, one per post?

**Grilka** · 10-28-2009, 09:42 PM

Be sure to bring it up again when we go to the next thread.

**~+Yamiko** · 11-01-2009, 09:11 PM

I'll be sure to bring it up again.

Marge: Do you want your son to become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper?
Homer: Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren?
Marge: Earl Warren wasn't a stripper!
Homer: Now who's being naïve?

**Grilka** · 11-03-2009, 09:56 PM

Bart: Sorry I made you lose the treasure, Grampa.
Grampa: The treasure's not important, boy; the most important thing is that you're safe. Now, let's go get that treasure!

**~+Yamiko** · 11-03-2009, 10:44 PM

Gotta love Grampa. Here's two more from him:

"Now my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say ‘dickety’ cause the Kaiser had stolen our word ‘twenty’. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles."

Lisa: Bart, do you realise what this means? The next time we fall asleep we could die!
Grampa: Ehhh, welcome to my world.

**Grilka** · 11-04-2009, 10:20 PM

I'm thinking Grampa would've had a better chance catching him if he had shot him first.

**~+Yamiko** · 11-07-2009, 11:20 AM

Probably, but considering that he might be the same age as Mr. Burns, and thinking of the scene where Mr. Burns fires a gun at some guy to get him to dance and takes about a few minutes to reload the gun powder and all. No chance if Grampa missed first time around.

**Grilka** · 11-07-2009, 11:50 AM

Homer: The last bar in Springfield. If they don't let me in here, I'm gonna have to quit drinking.
Homer's Liver: Yay!
Homer: Shut up, liver! *punches liver*
Homer: Ow! My liver hurts!

**Grilka** · 11-10-2009, 10:28 PM

Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies! Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!
Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
Willie: You just made an enemy for life!

**feels|like|home** · 11-19-2009, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grilka (View Post)

Homer: Shut up, liver! *punches liver*
Homer: Ow! My liver hurts!

**Grilka** · 11-19-2009, 11:01 PM

Homer: How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?!?

CheEsecAKe&BRUCAS · 11-19-2009, 11:41 PM

Scully: Now this is just a simple lie detector. I will ask you questions and you will answer truthfully. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes.
[Lie detector explodes]