[ds44]

Originally Posted by Mareike (View Post) I don't think Richard was around much. Maybe she was a Daddy's girl - when he was there. But I think thanks to his absence they didn't have much of a relationship. And Lorelai said once that as soon as she didn't do as he wanted he shut her out and didn't deal with her anymore, so I don't think the relationship to him was more important than to Emily. But yes it deserved more screen time.

Girls who are close to their fathers tend to idolize them especially if they're not around much. I think it really started to go sour once lorelai disappointed him with getting pregnant but before than I think it was probably very important. She might have assumed that she would never have her mothers love so she enjoyed what little affection would through her way. Little girls are weird creatures. I am not saying she loved one more than the other, but I do think her relationship to richard meant a lot to her and it she was not as harsh on him as she was on emily.

[EmilyFan]

Thanks for the greeting, Ellie. It's great to be able to chat with you here, too.

I was rethinking of Christopher returnsa dn I think that was the only time that he was really angry and obviously hurt. And it showed how much he suffered,too. As usual,there were good basis,but no development.

Yes, there was so much potential there, and it was so important to show how Richard was hurt, too. How could they not develop that?!

I think you all make good arguments about Lorelai's relationship with her parents. She was tied to both of them in different ways. I agree that she wasn't as hard on Richard as she was Emily. On the other hand, Emily's behavior seemed to affect her more deeply. For example, when Emily seemed not to react much to Lorelai's announcement that she was engaged, she was very hurt and couldn't let it go. I also don't think they could have fought as intensely as they did if they didn't love each other fiercely.

I think she did have something of a distant relationship with her father, but it was still very important. It is such a shame that it was not more developed in the show.

[Mareike]

I think she fought more with Emily because she was the one who was around. Who did the day to day things. Who was the one to set the rules. And of course they love each other.

Maybe she did idolize Richard.

[Miss GoodManners]

Originally Posted by Mareike (View Post) I think she fought more with Emily because she was the one who was around. Who did the day to day things. Who was the one to set the rules. And of course they love each other.

I agree with this and with what Susan has said.

Genki you made an interesting point about Lorelai idolizing him. This reminds me of the last section of At the ballet(I don't know if you know it,but in the last section Maggie recalls the time when she was a little girl and imagined to dance around the living room with her absent father who looked like an Idian Chief)...and the fact that Lorelai "stole" his diploma at nine is another goo proof. Maybe it wasn't really idolising,however she imagined and wanted more than what she had. I'm sure that when she was really little,Richard was more around...maybe he played with her a little when he came home at night,but then he got more involved with business and so she started to imagine. With Emily...she couldn't do it because she was a constant presence.

[ds44]

Originally Posted by Miss GoodManners (View Post) I agree with this and with what Susan has said. Genki you made an interesting point about Lorelai idolizing him. This reminds me of the last section of At the ballet(I don't know if you know it,but in the last section Maggie recalls the time when she was a little girl and imagined to dance around the living room with her absent father who looked like an Idian Chief)...and the fact that Lorelai "stole" his diploma at nine is another goo proof. Maybe it wasn't really idolising,however she imagined and wanted more than what she had. I'm sure that when she was really little,Richard was more around...maybe he played with her a little when he came home at night,but then he got more involved with business and so she started to imagine. With Emily...she couldn't do it because she was a constant presence.

That's sort of what I was eluding to, but you put into words for me...

The problem with richard/lorelai is that most of it is an inference. Plus little girls tend to be more volatile with mothers. Mothers are ever present and we always fear becoming than and when we grow up we become them anyways

I think she wanted her mothers approval and her father's attention and she never got either.....despite the fact that both loved her dearly.

[EmilyFan]

I agree with what you all are saying. Lorelai probably fought more with Emily, because she was the one who was around all the time and the one who disciplined her most of the time. Richard was away so much that I could see Lorelai idolizing him. He probably seemed like the "fun" parent, since he wasn't doing most of the everyday discipline. And when he came home from his trips, he probably brought little gifts to Lorelai.

I do think also, though, that over time she developed resentment over the fact that he didn't go out and do the usual father-daughter things: buying her the Barbies, taking her fishing, etc. (as Lorelai mentioned in FAS). She fought more with Emily largely because Emily was the more present parent, but I think she also developed in some ways a stronger bond with her. Even after she was away from home for a long time, a slight from Emily hurt her more deeply than a slight from Richard (though she found both painful).

[Mareike]

I don't think she thinks of either parent as the fun one. But I get what you mean - him bringing home little presents for her. And I agree that she has a stronger bond with Emily. That's why they're fighting so much. Emily never gave up - as soon as she got the opportunity she ordered FND. I often got the feeling Richard resigned.

[Valerie4]

I think Lorelai idolizing Richard when she was little, too. Think what he told Rory about his diploma when they sat at the bench in Yale. She wants to be like her daddy.

[Mareike]

Yeah that's the one thing we know of. Or are there more I'm forgetting now?

[EmilyFan]

I don't think she thinks of either parent as the fun one.

LOL - true. I didn't mean fun compared to a party, but fun compared to Emily and her continual discipline. There's an expression that's used here in the States where one parent will accuse the other of trying to be the "fun parent" if they are the one who tries to please/play with the child and leave the difficult role of discipline to the other parent.

I think Lorelai idolizing Richard when she was little, too. Think what he told Rory about his diploma when they sat at the bench in Yale. She wants to be like her daddy. Yeah that's the one thing we know of. Or are there more I'm forgetting now?

That's the one that came to my mind, too. She wanted to go to Yale, just like he did. I think that incident, plus Richard's tone of voice and his reaction afterward, also give us insight into the affection in their earlier relationship. They definitely had some affection there.

[caf123]

Originally Posted by Mareike (View Post) I don't think Richard was around much. Maybe she was a Daddy's girl - when he was there. But I think thanks to his absence they didn't have much of a relationship.

I think that's true. Lorelai has a few good memories, like stealing his diploma - but that's all. I don't think he was around much or very involved with her day-to-day.

And Lorelai said once that as soon as she didn't do as he wanted he shut her out and didn't deal with her anymore,

Totally sums it up.

But yes it deserved more screen time.

So many relationships deserved more screen time and didn't get it.

[Cappuccino]

Originally Posted by Mareike I don't think Richard was around much. Maybe she was a Daddy's girl - when he was there. But I think thanks to his absence they didn't have much of a relationship.

Oh I think she was when she was little even though he was not the barbie buying dad but I think she could wrap him around her little finger in no time

[Simon Spier]

I loved the relationship these two had!

[socialfirefighter]

I like the relationship that Lorelai had with her dad. I felt that Richard was trying to have a relationship with Lorelai even through they hit some bumps along the way.

[Simon Spier]

Richard was more easy going. Not saying that he didn't care what Lorelai was doing though