April7739

Oh, that sounds awful. The worst thing is when any type of discrimination becomes normalized, because then it’s so much harder to combat it.

a little chaos

I just try to let it go over my head, some people can't be changed so I'd rather just ignore them.

April7739

I try to do that, too, but then it pisses me off, because I feel like I’m letting them get away with horrendous behavior.

a little chaos

The injustice of it all sucks, it really does. But I think the best way to benefit the world is to educate young people to be better than their predecessors, which I am sure you do in your line of work.

Eventually generational turnover will hopefully wipe out most sexism, racism and homophobia and we as a people will be more enlightened.

April7739

Yeah, you’re right. Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, by Nelson Mandela: “Education is the most powerful weapon, which you can use to change the world.”

a little chaos

It’s a brilliant quote! And one to live by.

April7739

I really want to tell Eliza that this quote makes me think of her because of the work she does with her school.

destroyer of worlds

It's just so aggravating and frustrating to deal with. It's definitely SO much tougher to change people's mindsets if it's engrained in their culture/behaviour and they don't see what's wrong with how they think/talk. Almost feels like an impossible task, though I do believe that most people ARE capable of change.

April7739

The problem in my area is that young boys are now starting to believe that feminists are people who want to lift women up at the expense of putting men down (thanks in large part to the Trump era and the fact that many of them are raised in pro-Trump households), so I find myself trying to explain to them that someone who truly believes in gender equality doesn’t want to villainize men or treat them as inferior to women. It’s all about just progressing women’s rights since women have historically been marginalized. And I try to inform them that people who are passionate about women’s rights can also be passionate about things related to the male gender, too (i.e. making people aware of and combatting harmful male stereotypes and expectations).

kiss the wind

I think that’s great that you’re trying to explain that to them, April. They boys you teach are at a good age to learn that and unlearn negative stereotypes about feminism and about men, too. Trying to rid them of toxic masculinity at that age is so important.

Also, for all I’ve heard about my fellow teachers not allowing slurs and such in their classes, there’s sure as hell a lot of casual homophobia circulating. Especially with the use of “gay” as a synonym for stupid and kids saying that they’re “giving up being gay in 2019” even though they’re straight. It’s repulsive, and I try my best to **** it down, but do they listen? No.

All I know is when I have my own classroom, it’s gonna be zero tolerance for that.

destroyer of worlds

The worst thing for me is hearing phrases like "You look so gay." (using the word "gay" as some sort of slur? Really classy.) or "Quit acting like a girl." It really is disgusting and perpetuates toxic masculinity and the cycle keeps going on and on.

April7739

When I was in high school, I heard “that’s gay” a lot, but I don’t really hear it very much any more. Thankfully. If I ever do, I explain to them that it’s not okay to use gay as a synonym for stupid, much in the same way that it’s not okay to use “retarded” as a synonym for stupid. I find that comparing it to that word really helps them understand, because our school does a good job about educating students about developmental and/or social disorders such as Down syndrome or autism at a very young age, so by the time they get to my classroom, they have a solid understanding of why it’s not okay to substitute words like “retarded” for stupid. When we draw that comparison, it seems to make sense to them.

Did you guys here that problematic Youtuber Logan Paul is already at it again in 2019 with a new scandal? Apparently one of his New Year’s resolutions was to “go gay” in March. That’s not how it works, Logan. And then there are other youtubers (who are not part of the LGBTQ+ community) saying it’s not offensive. Um, if you’re not part of that community, then it’s not up to you to decide if it’s offensive or not.

April7739

Okay, time for a ****ing rant:

I don’t have a problem with constructive criticism on my fics. But I get two comments today (based on the writing style, I believe it’s actually the same person) and one comment refers to me as “Jason” and is just so snotty and makes a big deal out of saying “You’ve lost a reader.” Okay, fine, whatever. I don’t particularly care to even have a reader who would say something like that. Then this other comment says that I’m apparently not a fan of writing white girls. Uh . . . what?

And here’s the thing . . . FIC SPOILERS AHEAD . . .



. . . these comments are all because I didn’t have Clarke break up with Finn immediately after she sees him again in this chapter after finding out he cheated on her. Seems like so many people just expected her to tell him off, which, yeah, would have been cool, but I know from personal experience that that is not how it always happens in real life. And in the fic timeline, within TWO DAYS, Clarke discovers Finn has cheated on her, endures a sexually perverse encounter, and then finds out that Bellamy has endured something similar for her. The girl’s life is traumatic chaos right now. People sometimes struggle to make the best decisions when they’re going through trauma. I feel like just having her be like, “Thank you, next” to Finn would be unrealistic. I mean, she didn’t even really do that on the show when she found out about him and Raven. Not completely.

It seems like readers these days just want a female character to be badass at all times. (Especially in The 100 fandom.) If you try to write a different route where they learn to discover that side of themselves and become more empowered as the story goes on, then some readers just attack you! God forbid a female character falters and shows some vulnerability, especially a young female character. Hell, gender doesn’t even matter. Any character can be vulnerable, uncertain, and fallible. Those are the characters I love to write.

They kind of have a knee-jerk reaction to the things you do with male characters, too, I’ve noticed. Like if your male character ever acts like a jerk (mine always do at some point), they turn on him. This happened with Eventually!Bellamy, but then I think most people came back around and liked him again by the end. They just had to go with him on the journey and try to understand where he was coming from.

Plus, they don’t even know what’s going to happen. I know. I’ve written it. I know what the plan is, and I know where this is headed. And if some of these mean people come back and act all nice in a few chapters, I’m gonna be rolling my eyes big time.

Ugh. Mean people just suck.

kiss the wind

People can just be downright awful. I understand not always understanding a writer’s decisions, but there are reasons for these decisions. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, though.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t really understand Clarke’s decision at first, but I wasn’t going to be at the level of throwing a fit and belittling you. And once you explained it here, I understood her character better.

April7739

Oh, Amelia, it was awful today. The comment section, my Twitter DMs . . . a select handful of people (probably young teens based on the way they write) seem to be just delighting in calling me “Jason.” Like, WTF? That’s so rude, and they’re freaking jumping to conclusions without even hearing more of what the character herself has to say in the next chapter.

And then it brought up some old issues for me, because . . . well, okay, in the one and only truly serious relationship I’ve ever had in my life, my boyfriend did not cheat on me, but it was not the best relationship for either one of us. But we were together for years. And when it came time to end things (my decision), it wasn’t as easy as some people probably would have expected it to be. And then I see all these comments referring to Clarke as weak and dumb, and it makes me think, okay, I was in a similar situation once. And I wasn’t weak or dumb. I was just learning, growing. It seems to me that people want to praise strong women, which is great, yet they want to attack anyone who doesn’t quite measure up to their definition of that. How is that kind of aggressive mentality supposed to make any woman feel strong and supported and empowered? Where is the compassion for women who are going through or who have gone through things like this in real life?

And then there’s just the simple matter of attacking a fellow fandom member. A fellow Bellarker at that. I would never rag on anyone who’s creating content for free, for fun, for their fellow fans. But in this age of outrage where everyone uses the excuse of “it’s my opinion” to be as hostile as they want, it happens all the time.

But then I see plenty of comments from people who are supportive, too, and I’m just trying to focus on those. I mean, I don’t care if readers are frustrated, because I want them to feel frustrated. I want them to feel a lot of things as they read. I want it to be an emotional journey of highs and lows. But I do care if readers get mean. I just have such a low tolerance for mean people. I really do. And I try to be so nice to people, but sometimes, I just want to say, “Go **** yourself.”