LLB

In my opinion what Ty did was not only cowardly, but it was downright cruel. Being cheated on is so much worse than someone breaking up with you. It is a betrayal that changes a person. To have cheated on her in a stupid moment and then having to break her heart is one thing, but to make her believe it on purpose almost seems evil to me, and below who I thought Ty was. I don't know if be knows about Emmett cheating on her, but I hope he doesn't, because he would know how much it would hurt her.

ollibear

Last week, Trent Cruz (Lizzy Weiss's EPA) tweeted that Ty does not know the reason why Emmett & Bay broke up. So Ty does not know that Emmett cheated on Bay.

I felt the same way you did all last week and even last night, after watching the episode.

But in watching the episode this morning, I am seeing something redeeming in Ty:

As Ty packs up to leave for his deployment, the song Brave is playing in the background, and Daphne's blog post is read aloud. She says, "I did the wrong things for the right reasons and caused the people that I love a lot of pain."

That's what Ty did. He did the wrong thing for the right reasons.

When I saw Ty watch Emmett give the toast, Ty smiled and even laughed at Emmett's joke. In Ty's eyes, I saw that he remembered Emmett is a good man.

Then, when I saw Emmett & Bay look at each other, at the part where Emmett says "if you don't, they can slip away," I saw something else in Ty's eyes. Ty was remembering that kiss he saw Emmett & Bay share in Dawn of the Deaf. Ty looked at Emmett, and in that moment, Ty knew for certain that Emmett loves Bay.

Right before Ty leaves, Mary Beth visits him. He says, "I would rather have her (Bay) hate me now and get on with her life."

After the rope-course tower fiasco AND Bay asking Ty to let her father pull some strings to get him out of his redeployment AND his visit to the Kennish estate for Toby's rehearsal dinner AND Bay sharing her plans to graduate high school early and join him in Germany, I believe Ty understood that he and Bay are not right for each other at this point in time. If you factor in that Ty has a very real fear he may not return, or if he does return he may suffer from PTSD, I can understand him wanting to protect Bay and not believing she is mature enough to handle the truth.

Ty is absolutely 100% wrong. But he is still the same character that slipped away with only two days notice the first time he left for the army. He is still the same character who did not have parents or any real stability as a child. This decision fits his personality. It is cruel. But I am thinking of it less and less as evil, because I do believe his intentions were good.

Ty wants what is best for Bay. He feels she will put her life on hold for him, unless he is able to make a complete break. Ty could have told her that he did not love her enough to be in a long distance relationship with her, but that would not have been true either. And as long as Bay knew Ty faithfully loved her, she would have put her life on hold for him, even if he did say he could not handle a long-distance relationship. This way, Bay can go on living her life.

It's wrong. I am not happy with his decision. But I do not believe he is evil, as much as stupid and weak.

cassias

It's always interesting to me to visit the current episode thread in the day or so after I first watch. At this stage I am still processing everything, and it amazes me to see how many well-formed thoughts and theories people have.

I am going to blame my slowness on the lack of sleep which goes hand in hand with very early morning viewings of Switched at Birth, and the myriad interruptions of my day.

En bref, so far:

• My enjoyment of Nikki and Toby's storyline surprises me. I was not a fan. And yet I was firmly pulled in by them last night.
  
• The two relatively brief Bay and Emmett moments were highlights for me. Loved Emmett's toast, from his description of seeing Toby and Nikki connect through music to the poignant comment about slipping away. The confrontation about his cheating was a VERY long time coming, and, whilst I would have liked for it to be fleshed out a bit (to, oh, I don't know, maybe half an ep ), it was a very good start. And the usual chemistry between the actors was palpable. Of course.
  
• Ty was obviously not being cruel, but trying to protect Bay. His way of going about it was not laudable, but I must give him credit for trying to prevent heartbreak. There were a couple of moments when Blair Redford was pretty good. Not at all happy with Ty's manipulation of poor Mary Beth, though, who has quite enough on her plate in the aftermath of her brother's death.
  
• Happy with the resolution of the Abby issue, if not the road that was travelled to get there. I hope we might see more of the three dads.
  
• Lots of thoughts about all the parents, none of which have made it to proper sentences yet. I loved the ongoing acknowledgement of Kennish privilege and the reach that it has, though. Interested in Kathryn's comment about wishing she had taken time to find herself (and John's look in response!).
  
• Daphne has obviously now shed the Mary Sue persona she was in danger of adopting early on in the series. It was delicious to see Chip Coto get his comeuppance. Daphne's insistence on dealing (as far as she is able) with the consequences of her actions was well executed (privilege notwithstanding). Even the Evil Brit Jace redeemed himself a bit.

In all, I found this a far more satisfying finale than any we have had for a while. It pulled together lots of threads, gave us some resolution, and yet plenty to ponder during the hiatus.

Really though, all I can think of is Bay and Emmett

GrhmLz

I found the summer finale to be okay. Not mindblowing ... and I'm not even left on the edge of my seat with it, but there was enough left unresolved and|or opened to keep me intrigued for next season ...

Bay|Emmett:

First off, I think I found the moment shared between Bay and Emmett to have the most meaning during this episode. Bay was clearly in pain, feeling utterly lost and confused over this 'cheating' mess with Ty, but I could really feel the emotion coming from Emmett's end because this involved Bay and a situation that repeats back to him, one he truly appears to regret. I think the saddest and most heartful admission of truth came from Emmett when he told her: As bad as you're feeling about this right now, he's going to feel much worse when he finally realizes exactly what it is he lost. In this instance, Emmett is speaking for both himself and Ty. I loved the support and comfort Emmett offered Bay in that moment.

I know alot of times we are seeking the 'why' to the pain and suffering in our lives, curveballs of life that we can't always grasp or comprehend. This is clearly where Bay was coming from here but I think Emmett's simple response sums it up perfectly: Basically, when he slept with Simone, it was just stupid. There really isn't any adequate enough reason to explain the bad decision he made that night, no answer that will ever suffice or bring any true sense of peace or understanding to Bay. Which is why in time, when someone is truly sorry and regrets a grievance, forgiveness does become important so all the looming questions and the pain or anger can be released. I just don't think there really is any other way to get the peace one would long for out of it. I think Emmett's answer was as about as honest as one can get because there is no real good answer. I get the sense of knowing Emmett has grown and taken responsiblity, along with the consequences of losing Bay, resulting from his night with Simone because there are no lengthy justifications this time. There is nothing about Bay even brought up. It was just what he basically expressed: a stupid decision on his part. No need to elaborate. Looking forward to them in S3.

The Parents:

It was refreshing to be able to see all the parents {ie. Kathryn, John, and Regina} be able to share the parenting responsibility with ease together, regarding the whole Daphne|Senator Coto debacle. I felt for each of them trying to balance being supportive together of not wanting Daphne's whole life to be ruined over one really bad decision; however, at the same time ~ making sure it was understood that her actions were not being condoned.

Regarding the wedding, while I might not agree with their outright cynicism regarding 'marriage' for Nikki and Toby ~ I don't feel like they did anybody any favors by keeping the truth regarding their real feelings to the last possible conceivable minute, when it was too late because Toby stumbled upon the truth himself. I think the only thing that might be worse than 'no support' at all, is 'pretend support.'

The comment made by Nikki's mom about 'sex' just made me roll my eyes honestly, {because it always has to come down to that, right?! } so no need to elaborate any more with her. The it gets to Kathryn, and clearly, she was voicing some past regrets about marrying not much older than Toby and Nikki. That's fine but I don't think it's fair to misplace her own personal experience on them, and use it to coherse or manipulate. The fact remains she did marry, and she's still married to this day. So, she's not really establishing a strong case on 'why it won't work out.' Obviously, there was something there from the start that mattered and all the reasons 'to marry' outweighed some of the doubts she carried with her.

John?! Well, clearly, he looked a bit taken back with Kathryn's admission. Once again, a little hypocritical to see him tooting the 'anti-marriage' horn when he himself apparently married a bit young and is still married to this day. As far as I know, this is his only marriage and it's not like he has the experience of a marriage gone bad and a divorce to show for to make his arguments any stronger before Nikki and Toby.

Daphne:

I do feel bad for Daphne because I feel like she is generally a good kid who made a very bad and poor decision that can now have far-reaching consequences for her. It's ashame. She's passionate about what she believes in, and while I personally might not see exactly eye to eye on every cause she advocates for, I do have an understanding on what emotionally compelled or motivated her here. I can just imagine how infuriating it is to be working so hard to stand on principle, only to have it being made a mockery of by someone who is in a position of authority and clearly abusing it.

I'm hoping that maybe the end result for her will be a good stretch of mandated community service, so she can do something positive and give back to the community at large; rather than have the girl actually do hard jail time. But we shall see.

Jace:

He gets redeemable points for taking responsibility and not letting Daphne take all the heat but I'm still 'meh' about him in general. Not much else to say but it looks like he faces possible deportation.

Bay|Ty:

I won't lie ~ I know Ty was leaving so this storyline direction feels a bit contrived for me. But getting into it's details, I don't hate Ty, but I do believe he went about this completely the wrong way. Of course, it helps to know his motivation here. I feel in his heart, he really truly believes he's making a sacrifice for Bay's ultimate benefit in the future. He'll endure her anger and her hate directed towards him but at the same time, he's probably ignoring the fact that he's placed Bay in a lot of pain in the 'here and now.' It's crushing and can have just as much an impact on her future in how she approaches a new relationship. Definitely a case of doing the wrong thing for the what is perceived as the 'right reasons.' Yes, him possibly dying while they are sharing a long distance relationship could crush her but I think what might be even more devastating is his death combined with so much unresolved pain and baggage attached to it. There might never be the chance to make amends or to make peace with it, someone she once loved and was intimate with, actually ~ the person she shared her first time with.

I will address Nikki|Toby in my responses below:

I'm rooting for them to make it.

But I won't lie, this episode gave me mixed impressions. And the 'sneak peak' for the January premiere, kept some of my cynicism alive. Ultimately, in the end, I understood why they eloped, rather than have gone through with the wedding at the Kennish estate. I could only imagine that having their parents throw and then pay for a wedding that they did not support, could have made for a very uncomfortable wedding day to say the least. I can empathize with not wanting to feel like your special day is tainted by the cynisim flowing all around you. This way, it's completely on them: Making it work. They celebrated their union together on their own and they don't ever have to have it thrown back at them with any guilt trips like: 'we paid for this wedding' mumbo jumbo and now it won't even work out. Or, see, it didn't work out.

With that said, I wasn't too keen on the 'sex experiment' portrayal. It was a bit weird to me to have Nikki suddenly suggest that they should 'test it out' to see if the parents could be right and it was just about the sex. Way to cave, TV network writing. Couldn't stick to the 'no sex before the marriage' premise, huh, but I can't say I'm shocked by that either. I already expressed my views on the media industry and how they'll choose to portray things, so, no need for me to rehash all that again. Honestly, though, if the show had to have Nikki question that, really, then there kind of is an issue. So, that worries me a bit for next season. If she was sure about the committment, or onboard with it, that question never even needed to enter the picture and since they decided to elope anyway, I don't get what the big deal with 'waiting' was.

I was glad they stuck to their guns.

I also really loved how Bay and Daphne came to their defense. I feel a little bad for them with this elopement, because I think they sincerely reached a place of being supportive and probably would have liked to share in their brother's special day. Emmett too, who finally came around, and took the honor of being Toby's best man to heart.

Completely epic, he gave the most moving and heartfelt speech.


Complete and total WORD!!! I totally agree.

That's why I'm a little apprehensive with the elopement angle the show decided to take in this finale and the 'sex experiment' the preceded it. While I can understand the character reasoning behind it, as I expressed up above, an 'elopement' can also just as easily be viewed as something that was done in secret, which can maybe signfy hidden doubts or a questionable union to hide. I'm still a little worried that the show is using this as a platform in the future to deliver the idea that Nikki and Toby did make a mistake, and that's why they went through with an elopement instead of a wedding celebration in front of supportive friends or family {ie. Emmett, Daphne, Bay}. They also first veered completely away from the idea of 'church wedding', now, from an actual wedding altogether.

We shall see. I want to see Toby and Nikki be able to make it, for there maybe just to be some slumps ahead of them but nothing to make a complete mockery out of it.

Phoenician

This is a very wise perspective. Bay was getting ready to move to another FREAKIN' continent, and wouldn't listen to reason. Taken in this light, he actually "took a bullet" to protect her. SELFLESS, actually. God Bless Ty -- and the real soldiers who have to deal with these situations daily.

Caireen

I was pissed too. That's why Toby and Nikki at the end was my favourite scene. Of course I would have liked actually seeing a ceremony, though.

Alexa

Dont like Toby/Nikki. Nothing agains them they just kind of bore me. So I wasnt really thrilled to see them get married. I dont think anyone should get married that young and I hope there are consequences to this next season.

I liked Bay/Ty together a lot so I am sad that it's over. But I'm happy to at least have gotten what I did get. It was dumb that Ty lied about cheating but I can kinda understand why he did it.

Angelo shouldn't have the baby. I realize its his child but the other parents clearly cared more for the baby and imo make better parents. I was really happy when Angelo decided he wanted to give custody back to them.

The bay/emmett scene was great.

ollibear

I remember rooting for Toby and Nikki to get married, but I think getting married at 18-20 is a great idea.

Bay and Ty together made my flesh crawl. I like both of the characters fine on their own, although Ty is painfully wooden. But I like both characters less, when they are together as a couple.

I think Ty and Daphne could have shared some interesting romantic chemistry. Oh, well.

The Bay and Emmett scene was nice. It doesn't feel sincere to me anymore, but at the time, I really loved it.

Alexa

Are you joking? getting married at 18???? i mean, okay. but completely 100% disagree. People are still learning who they are that young.

Ty/Daphne? noooooo. I saw zero chemistry there.

girl under the floor

I wasn't that much older when I got married

I think it all depends on the person Yes, some people are still discovering themselves / their place in the world / their own identity / what they want in their life.
But I've known what I wanted ever since I was 14

ollibear

Every good marriage I know of in my personal life took place between people who were 18 to 21. Based on that, and my own personal experience, I believe 18 is the perfect time to marry.

I regret waiting until I was 36 years old to marry. I wasted time searching for something, when I wish I had taken time to build something, instead.

I agree with that wholeheartedly.

Everyone is an individual. It's a shame so many of us allow society to dictate what we do and to influence what we feel is right for us. I know it's a struggle for me to listen to that inner voice.

I didn't see Ty and Daphne sending any signals that they liked each other romantically in this episode either.

On a superficial level, I do believe the two actors would look good paired together. I like the contrast of Ty's dark hair with Daphne's red hair and his olive complexion with her fair skin and freckles. They both appear close to the same age. They'd be cute together.

On a deeper level, Daphne has an unsheltered street smarts that Bay lacks. That savvy shrewdness would pair well with Ty, in my opinion, and it would be far sexier than watching a hardened Ty, who had returned from war, in a relationship with Bay, who appears far too innocent and childlike for Ty, in my opinion.

In this episode, before Toby's wedding rehearsal luncheon, there is a scene where Ty and Daphne are talking across from each other at a small private table for two. I remember thinking at the time how sexy it would be to watch the two of them together, especially if Daphne threw away her pretenses and chose to be her real self with Ty.

Maybe I stand alone in thinking Daphne and Ty would be good together, though, I'd like it.

To me, Ty's emotional strength and reserved nature would be well-matched against Daphne's grit and determination. Ty and Daphne seem cut from the same cloth, in much the same way that Emmett and Bay seem cut from the same cloth.

Ty and Daphne are both practical artisans, fighting for what they want in life. Whereas Bay and Emmett are both philosophical artists and dreamers.

People say that opposites attract, but I don't see that in the way that Bay and Ty's story has been written. Perhaps, in a way, I do, though. I do see a young, inexperienced Bay having a crush on an older, experienced Ty. That rings true, and it makes sense.

But I don't see the writers taking Bay's attraction to Ty any deeper than that, or vice versa.

I don't see that Bay even has an awareness of the qualities that make Ty who he is. The writers chose not to show viewers a Bay who falls in love with Ty the soldier. In fact, Bay hopes Ty will leave the military, despite that being what Ty has chosen as a big part of his identity. Mary Beth seems to know Ty, the man, better than Bay does. And the writers did not show viewers a Ty who recognizes Bay's strengths and talents either. For some reason, the writers chose to have Ty not believe that Bay is strong enough to handle the truth.

To me, Ty seems to respect Daphne's strength, in a way that's missing in his feelings for Bay. I wish Ty had recognized how strong Bay is and loved her as his equal and not as a subordinate. It was frustrating for me to watch.

~AnastasiaGrey~

I forgot what episode was this about i didnt get the chance to catch up

ollibear

This episode is the one that ends with Toby and Nikki eloping, after their family disapproves at their huge wedding rehearsal luncheon on the Kennish front lawn.

After the wedding falls apart, Ty goes back to his army barracks and makes Bay think that he cheated on her with Aida, so he can leave for his next deployment. Bay runs off to Emmett to ask him why he cheated on her. He hugs her and tells her that when Ty figures out what he has lost, he will feel worse.

My favorite part of this episode was always Emmett's toast, "When you find the one that's right for you, you hold on tight, because if you don't, they can slip away."

But it doesn't really matter anymore.

Toby and Nikki held on tight by eloping, and they still slipped away from each other.

Neither Emmett nor Bay cared enough to hold on tightly to each other, so either they were not right for each other, or if they were right for each other, then they really didn't believe in that holding on tight advice that Emmett shared.

I really don't think the writers of Switched at Birth believe in love. Viewers are left to enjoy two couples. John and Kathryn have stuck with their marriage so far, but I don't see much evidence that they are still in love. Toby and Lily got stuck with each other because of a pregnancy. I do believe Toby cared for Lily, but her feelings ran more deeply for some older man at her work than they did for Toby. Lily doesn't even respect the person Toby is. She doesn't love him. Toby is a good person, and he deserves more than the lukewarm feelings Lily has for him. Even if Lily grows to sincerely love Toby, their connection is lackluster.

Oh, and we may be treated to Daphne and Mingo in Season 5. I believe that we will see them grow into a solid, stable relationship that will one day lead to marriage. But again, Daphne treated Mingo poorly during their first relationship. I'm not sure what Mingo sees in Daphne. I do think Mingo was wise to set Daphne free to go to China, once again proving that Emmett is blind when it comes to relationships.

The Switched at Birth writers must be saying that letting go is much better and healthier for a romantic relationship than holding on tight.

So Emmett's toast, that I once thought was wise, is obviously stupid advice.

~AnastasiaGrey~

Oh yeah. Yeah Nikki was a mistake

ollibear

Yeah, although I liked her better than Lily.

I liked Simone best of all. I wish she'd found a way to win back Toby's love.