KatB

I am so glad you enjoyed them. This is a little late but in case you want, this is the Thanksgiving episode that sorta started it all.

"Cece, I love you but I kindly ask that you stay on that side of the tape." Schmidt


Jess: Okay, so we have the five of us, Ally, and Reagan.
Cece: Yeah, I think that's about it. So, your parents couldn't make it?
Jess: Yeah, my dad had to go to the in laws. Back to all that family drama now that he is married again.
Cece: Drama?
Jess: Yeah, well I don't think Ashley's family dreamed that she would marry a classmate's father.
Cece: Yeah. And your mom?
Jess: I think she and my sister are just going to celebrate at home.

Thanksgiving morning
Cece wakes up, rolls over and notices her husband is no longer in their bed.
Cece: (looking at the clock) 5am? Maybe he is in the bathroom.
Clang!
Schmidt: Darn it!
Cece comes into the kitchen in the kimono.
Cece: Babe, it's 5am, what are you doing?
Schmidt: It's our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, Cece. Everything has to be just perfect.
Cece: It will be Schmidt. You don't have to do everything yourself, you have me, Jess, and....and....well, you have me and Jess.
Schmidt: Babe, you know I have control issues in the kitchen. No one is allowed in my kitchen.
Cece: Even me? (as she leans in)
Schmidt: Ev...ev...
Cece: What's that?
Schmidt: I would love your help. (Defeated)
Cece: That's what I thought.

At a more decent hour
Jess: Winston, how's the centerpieces coming?
Winston: You'll get them, when you'll get them.
Jess: You told us you could handle the decorations. We have people coming at 11am.
Winston: Excuse me!
Jess: Where is he going?
Cece: Oh, he is just processing. You know how he deals with stress.
Jess: So glad he is keeping our city safe. Winston, the parade is about to start!
Winston: Awesome! They better not put Sponge Bob in the back! Discriminating, cause the brother is square!

Clang
Schmidt: Cece! You just dropped my Mauviel M'Heritage Copper Frying Pan!
Cece: Well, I can't help it. You are so uptight, you are making me nervous.
Schmidt: Yeah, well one more mistake and you are banished from the kitchen.
Cece: Banished!
Schmidt: You heard me, I love you but one more mistake...what's that I smell?
Cece: That could be the rolls. See, they were a little frozen, so I turned up the temperature on the toaster oven.
Schmidt: To what?
Cece: 550?
Cece is now sitting in the living room and there is tape around the kitchen.

Schmidt: Hey man! Out of my kitchen.
Nick: I was just coming in here to get a beer.
Schmidt: Did you take care of your task?
Nick: Schmidt!
Schmidt: Nick!
Nick: Alright, but I think it's unfair to ask a guy to clean the bathroom without hydration.
Schmidt: Come back when it's done. I'm tired of telling our guests to go ask the neighbors to use theirs cause ours is out of service.
Nick: It's not that bad man.
Schmidt: Nick, there is a smell that has creeped into the hallway and there were so many towels on the floor that I forgot what the floor looked like.
Nick: That's not just me. That's Reagan and Cece, and I think I saw Winston toss a couple.
Schmidt: Just clean it up.
Nick: Fine!

Jess and Winston are enjoying the parade, the table is a mess.
Cece: Winston, it's 10:30.
Winston: Yeah.
Cece: Well, I was just thinking that you really should finish the table.
Jess: Yeah, I mean I finished mine last night.
Winston: All you had to do was go and grab some leaves and pine cones and scatter them around the living room. I have the table. The centerpiece pulls the whole table together.
Cece: Come on Winston, I'll help you.


Knock, knock
Schmidt: What now?! It's only 10:30am, remind whoever that is that it's rude to come early.
Jess: Mom! What are you...
Joan: That's some welcome.
Jess: Mom, it's not that....
Joan: Yes, well I was all set to have Thanksgiving with your sister and she....
Jess: What's his name.
Joan: Stephen, but this one is supposed to be different.

Schmidt: Cece, I love you but I kindly ask that you stay on that side of the tape.
Cece: Come on Schmidt, I was just trying to help.
Schmidt: I know, but we tried it and it didn't work. Can you just help me and go check on Nick? It's almost 11am.
Cece: Okay babe, but you really should just calm down.
Jess: Schmidt, there is one more for dinner.
Schmidt: Sure, cause her individual Loaded Baked Potato Salad and strawberry dessert will just make themselves!
Cece: Schmidt! I need to see you.
Schmidt: I can't.
Cece: The bedroom, now!
Schmidt: What is so important? I have canapes that need my attention and a turkey that needs basting in....(looks at his watch)
Cece: Babe, you are going to go out there, and make Joan and any other guest that comes, feel welcome, and cook dinner without complaining.
Schmidt: If I didn't know better, I would think I didn't have a choice.
Cece steps towards him with a determined look on her face.
Schmidt: Okay (he pouts as he walks away)
Cece: Babe, everything is going to be okay. We just have to get through the next couple hours. It's going to be beautiful.


Nick comes out of his room all cleaned up and dressed for dinner.
Nick: Joan, it's nice to see you again. Jess didn't tell me you were coming.
Joan: Yes, well she didn't know.
Reagan just walks right in.
Reagan: Did you know Winston is outside, I think he is going through the garbage?
Schmidt looks at Cece.
Cece: I'm on it.
Nick: Hey Reagan.
Reagan: How's it going?
Nick: Schmidt is well, you know.
Reagan: I do know. Let me just put my stuff in your room. Then we can catch up.
She starts to head towards his room.
Nick: I got that.
Reagan: That's okay.
She opens the door as Nick is trying to stop her.
Reagan: Why is there a mound of towels and trash in the middle of your room?
Nick: Well, Schmidt wanted the bathroom cleaned up and.......
Reagan: You waited till the last minute.
Nick: You really do know me.
Reagan: Yes, I also know I will not be sleeping in here tonight.
Outside
Cece: Winston! What are you doing?
Winston: I'm trying to find something for the centerpiece.
Cece: In the trash?
Winston: Well, you know what they say, one man's trash is well, ya know, something that someone else might like.
Cece: Uh, huh...
Ally walks up and...
Ally: Winston? Uh, what's going on?
Winston: Well, you see I was in charge of the centerpieces.
Ally: Yeah, I'm going to be inside.
Winston: Alright, see you later babe.
Cece: Get out of the trash!
Winston: But I need to...
Cece: Now!
Winston: Okay but I don't know what...
Cece: Follow me.

Joan: So Jess, are you dating anyone?
Jess: No mom. Right now I am focusing on work.
Joan: So how's work going?
Jess: Schmidt, how's dinner coming? Is it time to start getting the table ready?
Schmidt: you will know when it's ready! If I could concentrate, and I didn't have to make some more rolls, it would be ready. But.......
Winston and Cece come in with some leaves, twigs and other fall stuff.
Winston: I still don't know how this is going to....
Cece: Give me a sec.
Moments later, she creates a nice fall centerpiece with the stuff they bought in.

They are all sitting down to eat.
Cece: I would love to thank Schmidt for this amazing dinner and for and for being the best partner I could ask for.
They all toast Schmidt for a great dinner. They all eat and enjoy the food.
Schmidt: 30 minutes!
Jess: What?
Schmidt: 30 minutes! It took two days to cook that meal and it took 30 minutes for you to inhale it.
Cece: Schmidt, it was a really good meal.
Winston: Yeah man, it was great.
Nick: I could have used a little more food...ouch. Did you kick me?
Cece: Yes. Babe, thank you. It was great.
Reagan: Best Thanksgiving meal I have had in a while, that I didn't have to pay for.
Schmidt: Thank you, Reagan. I think.

lessismore

I am reading asap!

KatB

Yay! I hope you still like it. I remember just having so much fun writing this.

lessismore

I had no doubt!!! AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH! How do you write them so well? It was a great Thanksgiving episode!

One question did Cece kick Nick?

nick getting all the garbage to his room made literally lol

Jess canging the subject with her mother and Reagan telling a great meal she did't have to pay

Schmidt is all around hilarious!!! Kicking Cece out but Cece found herself a great cause and helped our Winnie too! Aww

KatB

Aww, thanks! IDK how I do it. It's like I hear it as I am typing at times.

Haha, what do you think? Of course she kicked him.

Mothers, what can you do?

Ah Schmidt, I love controlling Schmidt in the kitchen. I also love that even though they got married, they still haven't gone much further, than their first Thanksgiving.

lessismore

when it comes to kitchen he has rules and he can be mean, so it reminded me of the first thanksgiving too. but cece loves him anyway

KatB

That she does.

lessismore

jess was like "sorry" when she heard he was yelling at her but it was a turn on for cece. weirdos here as well she liked making him yell I think

KatB

Oh, you know he yelled.

lessismore

yep So nice to have something to read, thank you so much

KatB

You are most welcome!

lessismore

KatB

Merry Christmas! Remember Santa Nick?

Christmas AKA Santa Nick

Cece: You'll just have to tell them. They'll understand. We need some time alone, I mean it's our first Christmas as an engaged couple.
Schmidt: You try to explain that to Jess. You saw the 12 days of Christmas calendar that Jess put up on the fridge with activities for each day. Oh and not to mention Winston and his toy drive and benefit on the 23rd.
Cece: Well at least we have Nick on our side. You know he isn't a big holiday person.
The door opens.
Nick: Come on, we need to pick names for secret Santa.
Both: What?!
Cece: Let's go.

Later with everyone on the living room.
Nick: This year I'll be holiday Nick! I'll be doing all holiday stuff before you even do it.
Cece: To what do we owe this change?
Nick: Well, as you know I am a business owner now.
Everyone: Yeah, uh huh, of course.
Nick: And as such, you have to know what holiday is coming up, in order to please your customer. Try celebrating Independence Day on August fourth and they will let you know.
Schmidt: What?! You celebrated the Fourth of July in August?!
Nick: Well, it's really hard to keep track of holidays. You should try it someday.
Schmidt: I do, we all do. It's called looking at a freakin calendar!
Jess: Nick, why secret Santa? You know I have already bought most of my gifts.
Nick: Of course, I'm not you know, I pay attention to...
Winston: Nick!
Nick: Yeah?
Winston: You do realize that you stopped talking. I mean like five minutes ago. You were just standing there, with your mouth open like now.
Nick: Yeah, of course. I wanted to see if you were paying attention. Good catch.
Jess: Well, I am not taking anything back.
Nick: That's not....what I want to do is do secret Santa on Christmas eve and our regular gift exchange on Christmas morning.
Cece: Are you sure you want to do that Nick? Do you remember what you got me last year?

Flashback to last year Nick gives Cece his gift and she opens it up and it's a can of beer.
Cece: Did you forget that Christmas was the next day and just grab what you could from the bar?
Winston opens a a box and it's a napkin dispenser. Jess gets a glass with the bar's logo.

Nick: Don't worry. I have everything under control.
Jess: Do you?
Nick: Yes
Jess: I mean, do you?!
Nick: Jess!

Nick: Okay, so I wrote down all your names and I put them in the Santa hat. So now, I am going to pass around the hat. You each take a name and pass it around. Now this is very important, don't say the name you picked.
Jess: You do realize we do this every year?
Winston: Yeah, what are we Christmas novices? We know how stuff works.
Everyone: Yeah, come on, let's just do this....
Nick: Okay so, you know what we are going to do then?
Everyone: Nick?!
They pick names. Just as they finish, the door opens.
Coach enters.
Cece: Coach!
Schmidt: Crap!
Cece, Coach: What?!
Nick: Well, I'm going to need some more paper. (Cece immediately understands) Coach what we are doing is this thing where we buy a secret gift for someone, by drawing names.
Coach: Yeah, Secret Santa. You do realize I was here last year?
Twenty minutes later. Schmidt is stressing out, Cece is annoyed, Jess is thinking she dodged a bullet. But they have successfully exchanged names.

Schmidt: Jess, who did you get?
Jess: You can't ask that. You know that.
Schmidt: I just wanted to know if you got Cece?
Jess: Schmidt, you already got her seven gifts for Christmas Day. I don't think there is anything left in the store.
Schmidt: I know but I saw this locket the other day.
Jess: Schmidt! How about taking that talent for gift giving and spreading it around.
Schmidt: I know but this is our first Christmas for the rest of our lives.
Jess sighs
Schmidt: The rest of our lives Jess!
Jess: I know. But you need to stop freaking out and help me.
Schmidt: Help you? Are you in crisis?
Jess: Yes, I got Winston and I already got him a new Pure Moods cd and some toys for Ferguson. Other than bad taste in music and cats, I got nothing. I've lived with him for five years. I used to be better than that. Oh I know, another bird shirt!
Schmidt: Jess!! No, you know what, lets talk.

Cece: Coach!! We didn't get a chance to talk about you! How are you?
Coach: Cece I really missed you.
Cece: Me too! Like I really missed you.
Coach: what is this Secret Santa eagerness from Nick? He didn't used to be like this.
Cece: Well he says he is a "business owner" now. He acts like he is a "Don" or something
Coach: Man! I really missed you guys. This was May's gift to me, to us and I need your help with a gift to her.
Cece: But I chose May!
Coach: And I chose Schmidt! We gotta switch!
Cece: Oh definitely! So glad I talked to you first
Coach: Wait, your only purpose was to see if I chose Schmidt or not?
Cece: Of course NOT! I really missed my girl friend too!
Coach: Awww (in a girly way)
Cece: But I didn't ask for "that" Coach (meaning him "Awwing" like a girl). Come on, are we switching or not? Others are offly quite...
And they start talking about gift possibilities for Schmidt and May

Later on Jess, Cece and Schmidt are returning from shopping. Bags in hand.
Coach: Did you leave anything behind?
Jess: When it's half off of half off, you don't ask questions.
Later after they put the stuff away, they are getting their hot cider and hot chocolate and then sit down to relax. That's when they see it. First Cece, then they all notice. The candy canes on the tree are all like different lengths and one looks like an upside down U.

Schmidt: Nick!
Nick comes out of his room.
Nick: Yeah?
Schmidt: Did you eat part of a candy cane and then put it back on the tree?
Nick: Well, I can't eat it all at once.
Jess: But you put it back on the tree.
Cece: Did you forget and take a new one?
Nick: Hey! This is how we do Christmas!
Cece: We?
Nick: Go to my ma's house and her tree looks like this and I think it's great.
Cece: Schmidt?
Schmidt: He's right. I just blocked that out of my mind.
Jess: Remind me never to go to your house for Christmas.
Nick: The one year I try and be all jolly and this is the thanks I get. I mean, I set up the tree...
Schmidt: Is that why it's leaning?
Nick: I hung up the wreath!
Cece: You know it's supposed to go on the front door?
Nick: I hung the stockings!
Schmidt: These are just old socks.
Jess: ...and this one has a hole in it.
Nick: This is the thanks I get. Fine, you can have the old Scrooge Nick back!
He storms out.
Winston comes home and sees things in disarray. Mugs are out. Snacks are half prepared and there is something that dripped from the tree to form a small, not so small blop of red gue on the floor.
Winston: Ferguson, see I told you, things just fall apart when I'm not here.

Meanwhile
Schmidt: See, I told you he would be here!
Nick is taking down the decorations at the bar. Grumbling as he does so.
Nick: The last time I try.....see if I participate......this is why I don't join.
Jess: Nick!
Schmidt: Come on man! All this cause we didn't want you to put used candy on the tree?
Cece: Not helping babe.
Jess: Just come home Nick. We like Santa Nick. We really do. We were just thrown off a bit.
Nick: That's okay. I'll just stay here and let you watch that movie, where the guy dreams he was dead without me.
Schmidt: It's a Wonderful Life, just say It's a Wonderful Life.
The girls stare at Schmidt, a look that says, you are not helping.
Cece: Well, we are not leaving without you. So you better just get your coat.
Nick: Do you have hot cider?
Cece: Yes
Nick: Well, okay. But I'm not going to like it.

They walk into the apartment.
Winston: Where have you all been?
Jess: We had to take care of something Winston. Sorry we left in such a rush and things are scattered about.
Cece: Yeah, we know that's a trigger for you. No pun intended.
Winston: Yeah well, see I'm a cop. We are trained to see the signs that something is amiss.
Schmidt: Like all the food and drinks lying around and tv on and blankets on the couch? Is that what they teach you at the academy?
Winston: What they teach us is to look at the little things.
Schmidt: The eggnog was sitting on the counter and not in the frig. There was burnt popcorn in the microwave! What little things?
Cece: Babe, just calm down.
Schmidt: Our taxes are being wasted on things like this! It's appalling.
Cece: I know babe but you need to calm down. Why don't you go look online to see what new pants are online. Get me some ideas of what you might like.
Schmidt: Well I did just see this flat front wool trouser that I thought...
Cece: That's awesome. Write it down, please. Anyway Winston, we are sorry.
Winston: Well, I am just glad you are okay.
Nick: Well I'm not. Christmas Nick is dead.
Winston: So no caroling through the neighborhood, or reindeer antlers?
Nick: Nope, your friends killed him.
Winston: What? Why would you want to get rid of Christmas Nick? He is a rare a beautiful thing.

I'll post my other Christmas story in a day or so.

lessismore

I LOVE IT!!!! I LOVE SANTA NICK!!!


dialogs really killed me I laughed so much.



Nick being Santa Nick is so funny!!! The image of his preparations cracked me up so much too, like how he ate the candy and put it on, or the socks with holes!!!!

KatB

Aww, thanks. I reread it and loved it too. It’s like I can hear them.

I loved Santa Nick too, with a crooked tree and wreathes inside.