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Old 01-11-2015, 10:46 AM
  #61
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same here...frezzing temperature..

i wanted to cry ..we were promised sunshine by weather department
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Old 01-11-2015, 11:45 AM
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Hey all....

Howzit?

Me not so good... Seems like my RL is worth only a pack of money... I feel like turning back to RP and FF stuff bc once again and this time looks for semi-permanent final time I am left alone...
Unless of course somebody else or Mr Cutie picks up the shards of my broken heart....
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Old 01-11-2015, 09:50 PM
  #63
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awww Marissa
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Old 01-11-2015, 11:21 PM
  #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarissaAngell (View Post)
Hey all....

Howzit?

Me not so good... Seems like my RL is worth only a pack of money... I feel like turning back to RP and FF stuff bc once again and this time looks for semi-permanent final time I am left alone...
Unless of course somebody else or Mr Cutie picks up the shards of my broken heart....
I'm so sorry
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Old 01-13-2015, 11:06 AM
  #65
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How's everyone week going so far?
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Old 01-14-2015, 12:11 AM
  #66
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So far, peaceful. I'm now listening to some music from the divine one. I think you know just how peaceful my soul and I get when we hear him sing. He's just amazing. My soul loves it when I play some Almond tunes.
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Old 01-14-2015, 04:16 AM
  #67
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I'm trying to return myself to state of "go, take p*ss and don't forget to slip on ice" attitude...
For moment or two I'm ok but then something in me just slightly cracks and I began either sobbing out loud or biting my lip to stop the flow on time...

Feelong is rather miserable so I will turn into a standard woman and go shopping to mend my psyche a bit...
I'm a hopeless believer to miracles.. I will forever hope and wait until my faith in him would either die or I meet his better twin and move on...
I just hope his previous suicidal talks were just a part of self-pity or that his mom was right and there's just smoke without fire...
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Old 01-14-2015, 07:57 PM
  #68
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Marissa
so great your feeling better


Quote:
Originally Posted by Doxia (View Post)
So far, peaceful. I'm now listening to some music from the divine one. I think you know just how peaceful my soul and I get when we hear him sing. He's just amazing. My soul loves it when I play some Almond tunes.
awww nice
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Old 01-15-2015, 09:50 AM
  #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarissaAngell (View Post)
Hey all....

Howzit?

Me not so good... Seems like my RL is worth only a pack of money... I feel like turning back to RP and FF stuff bc once again and this time looks for semi-permanent final time I am left alone...
Unless of course somebody else or Mr Cutie picks up the shards of my broken heart....
Hi Marissa,
You'll be fine. Heartbreak, unfortunately, is part of life. I wish it wasn't, but it happens. But I feel you will get thru it and be on your way to peace and harmony.

I'm on a journey of allowing people to be closer to me. I've been afraid of intimacy for the longest time for the fear of being hurt. I don't do too well when I get hurt. When my mom passed away, I came to the realization that I needed to allow people to be a part of my life. I'm still extremely picky when it comes to choosing friends, but once I know I can trust them, I will open my soul to them. It will be the toughest thing I'll go thru this year and it will be the biggest risk also, but I've been told the risk is worth it. It is one of the two resolutions I made for myself this year.

Hang in there.
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Old 01-15-2015, 10:05 AM
  #70
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Yes I agree with Audrey
it is worth letting people in than to be alone

And im trying getting my dresses ready for the wedding. Its such a pain in the ar$€
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Old 01-15-2015, 11:19 AM
  #71
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If only I felt that way now when I worked the day and he arrived at work was like "Im okay" whike I was internally bleeding from longing for his warm embrace...
I looked in his smokey blue eyes and on my way back home could only hold my tears... barely... they just broke out...

I looked at him and realized that to me he's most beautiful man in the world and my heart broke once again because I once again realized all those things he tried to tell me but I didn't believe until now...
That I wasted all the chances he gave me and that now there will never be another one..

Only now I see everything and it became so real it felt like a hit with a brick stone..

I feel as if I'm a swan that has lost his love and will be mourning till dying from a broken heart...
These pain are even more than any lost relative before... like I've lost something more (meaningful) and feel the doom of never having it for real (right this time) because I feel like right here is the point of being given a real second chance...

Like this is the breaking point where one gives another the REAL second chance, another try for it to happen and that this time it would be right...

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Old 01-15-2015, 01:01 PM
  #72
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Hi Marissa,

When one goes thru heartbreak, it can be painful. This was one of the reasons why I became afraid of intimacy. The last time I got close to someone, they hurt me so bad, I asked myself if I was even worthy of love. That lasted a long time. Now, I know I am worthy of love, but it will be on my terms. It took a long time to heal, but I was able to get thru it.

The first days and weeks are the toughest. You feel lost and are not sure what to do and you feel miserable. That is normal. Once you get thru those feelings, you'll be wiser and stronger than before. You are an amazing person and you will find that happiness, I know you will. It takes time, love and tenderness. (Long time since I referenced one Michael Bolton). Your heart and soul will know when the time is right.

Meanwhile, do the things you love to do and take it one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.

Always think about the here and now. The past is gone and the future isn't here yet.

Take care.
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Old 01-15-2015, 03:35 PM
  #73
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How's everyone doing today?
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Old 01-16-2015, 10:57 PM
  #74
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I'm feeling a little low..my friend is going away now
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Old 01-17-2015, 09:17 AM
  #75
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Surprising calm. Writing is on track, listening to music, still on my journey (small steps).
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