The 90s - Major Payne Appreciation (1995) ~ "What we've got here is a failure to communicate."

ride the lightning · 07-07-2009, 10:03 PM

Welcome to the Major Payne appreciation thread!

Fans;
1. Majora's Mask
2. PiCkLeS4dAwSoN
3. greeneyeswe3tie
4. Majora's Mask

Quotes;

Major Payne: My Name is Major Benson Winifred Payne. As of 0800, I am replacing Major Frankfurt as your commanding officer.
Cadet Deak Williams, Cadets: Booo. Boooooooooooooooo.
[Major Payne has fired warning shots in the air from his pistol for their insubordination; he slowly lowers it]
Major Payne: See what we have here is a failure to communicate.
[walks up to his cadets]
Major Payne: Do not attempt to valid my authority. I have eight weeks to turn you gaggling maggots into a well-discipline cadet unit. From this day forward your sorry asses belong to me. You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose or dig in your buts without my say so. Know this, killing is my business, ladies, and business is good.

Major Payne: Let me tell you something ass-eyes, let me tell you ALL something: war has made me very PARANOID! and when you get to eye-balling me, makes my Agent Orange act up, makes me want to KILL!

Major Payne: From now on, my little group of shaved scrotum sacks, you will walk like me, talk like me, eat like me, and until you win those games, you will be BALD like me.

Major Payne: One! Don't you feel dumb. Two! Look at you. Three! Don't you ever make jokes about me behind my back or else I'll stomp you into the ground.

Major Payne: You're still a **** sandwich. You're just not a soggy one. From this moment, you are no longer turds. You have graduated to maggots!

goodbreakingbad · 07-07-2009, 10:08 PM

Please add me.

ride the lightning · 07-07-2009, 10:09 PM

Adding you

Drunk On You · 07-07-2009, 10:11 PM

Add me!

ride the lightning · 07-07-2009, 10:14 PM

Adding April

Drunk On You · 07-07-2009, 10:16 PM

ride the lightning · 07-07-2009, 10:19 PM

This movie is so awesome

I loved Major Payne and he's bad ass attitude.

ride the lightning · 08-13-2009, 10:06 PM

Come on! I know more people have to love Major Payne

BlueEyes0006 · 08-14-2009, 04:57 AM

Oh I do!

This movie is hilarious, I used to watch it all the time. I loved when Major Payne told Tiger that terrifying Little Engine That Could story and when he shot the man inside his closet! "If he's still in there he ain't happy! "

"Move it, you turds! You'll get no sympathy from me! You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between "spit" and "syphilis!"... You there! Tell Marlee Matlin's son to get across that rope before I hang him with it!"

"General, surely there must be SOMEBODY left who needs some killing, or some killing done for them. "
"Sorry, Major. There's nobody left. You've killed them all."

"What the hell was that you little freckle face cartoon? Did I give you permission to sneeze, Opie?"
"No, sir. "
"Then you hold it before I kick your ass back to Mayberry."

"Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum. What beanstalk you fall from?"

"What about family and unity and all that other bull**** you said?"
"I never said family don't break up. Don't you watch Oprah?"

ride the lightning · 08-15-2009, 08:05 PM

Awesome quotes! I guess you want to be added to the fan list?

I love that story he told

BlueEyes0006 · 08-19-2009, 07:57 AM

Sure add me.

That story was hysterical! I love how it starts off as a normal children’s bedtime story and progresses to something from Apocalypse Now or Forrest Gump.

The scene where Tiger hugs him is so funny. He almost breaks the kids arm before the teacher stops him.

ride the lightning · 08-19-2009, 05:51 PM

Adding you!

Aww Tiger was adorable

Such a cute little kid.

I love when he makes them wear dresses

ride the lightning · 11-12-2009, 05:13 PM

I'm going to rewatch this on the weekend!

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Fan Forum > General Discussion > The 90s > Major Payne Appreciation (1995) ~ "What we've got here is a failure to communicate."