[neel luvs tony]

Okay so there are a LOT of quotes on the show that make you laugh out loud or make you sad or make you go awww.. What's your favourite?


I'll start with Yankee White (S1-1)

Fornell: How's your butt? Tony: Still bouncing on the beltway Abby: There's a futon under my desk. Tony: Bless you. Abby: What are you my priest? Tony: Curse you? Abby: Do you dudes in the Secret Service ever think about throwing yourselves in front of the President's diet? Kate: I can't risk those plans getting out on the Internet. Gibbs: NCIS does not leak. These plans get out...you can shoot DiNozzo. Kate: No, I think I'm destined to shoot you.

[montana_rosalie]

6x16 - Bounce:

McGee: We've got two embezlors.One of them trashed, literally.Why?
Ziva: Maybe his partner got greedy and wanted all the money.
McGee: But the theft was three years ago.What took them so long?
Ziva: Well...
Gibbs: Maybe he got scared. Found out his partner was going to meet the federal agent from the original case.It wasn't DiNozzo, but the killer didn't know that.So if I'm him, I'm wondering why my buddy is meeting with a federal agent.Maybe he's gonna flip on me.Can't if he's dead.There's your motive.We just need our killer.
Tony: (walking in) We may have found him.Abby just matched a print from Renny's hotel room to one of his former co-workers.Carl Davis.
Gibbs: Gear up! (notices McGee and Ziva staring at him) What?
McGee: Nothing, it's just we've never heard you talk so much in a day, Boss.
Ziva: Or in a week!
Gibbs: Wasn't my job before.

[neel luvs tony]

^

That's a good one, I love Ziva and Mcgee's face in that scene.

[Starfield_Scribe]

Such a good show for great quotes

Ziva: Will you tell me who she is if I find the pirates version of the micro chip?
Tony: The pirated version. A pirate is a person, like Capt. Jack Sparrow.
Ziva: Who is Jack Sparrow?
Tony: Johnny Depp!?!?
Ziva: He is a pirate?
Tony: No, he's an actor!!!! How did we get here?
Ziva: I drove.

[mondlerlove]

ZIVA: Where is Gibbs?
TONY: You know, that’s the first question you asked me when we met.
ZIVA: No. The first question was, were you having phone sex?

[Miss Kenton]

That's some great writing.

[~MelBelle~]

Originally Posted by mondlerlove (View Post) ZIVA: Where is Gibbs? TONY: You know, that’s the first question you asked me when we met. ZIVA: No. The first question was, were you having phone sex?

I love that quote. especially since they actually remembered that.

[mondlerlove]

Originally Posted by MelBelle2 (View Post) I love that quote. especially since they actually remembered that.

I LOVE the fact that Tony is already reminiscing about the first time they met in Kill Ari II.

[ChoirNerd]

I love those quotes <333 The writers are just genius. And the actors read the lines off SO well.

My favorites are:

Kate: The only thing running through your veins, Tony, is cholesterol. And possibly chlamydia

*points to hangman thread*

Tony: Do it. McGee: As hard as she can? Tony: As hard as you can. McGee: You know that's how Houdini died. Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini? Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all of their names.

[TheAngel]

Ziva has so many excellent lines

Officer Ziva David: This is killing me. I feel like I know him. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Mossad? Officer Ziva David: Maybe. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Internet dating? Officer Ziva David: [picks up a paperclip] I will kill you 18 different ways with THIS paperclip! Officer Ziva David: Who's on the phone? Danny: Uh, my girlfriend. Officer Ziva David: [Ziva takes the phone] Hi. Oh, my God. Don't touch me there. Danny's Girlfriend: What? Officer Ziva David: He's gonna have to call you back. Bye. Danny's Girlfriend: What? Wait a sec [Ziva hangs up the phone] Officer Ziva David: You're busted. NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: [looking at a body in a duffel bag] The seam split. I can't believe it. Ziva David, Mossad Liaison: I know. Discarded like a piece of trash. NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: No, I meant the duffel bag. I just bought the same one. I should have listened to the reviews. They said the seams were a problem. Ziva David, Mossad Liaison: McGee, the man is folded in half! NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: I know. No, that is - That's a shame, too. Maybe I've been doing this too long.

[Miss Kenton]

Awesome quotes!

[maplezbear]

I love the quotes posted so far.

[neel luvs tony]

Officer Ziva David: Who's on the phone? Danny: Uh, my girlfriend. Officer Ziva David: [Ziva takes the phone] Hi. Oh, my God. Don't touch me there. Danny's Girlfriend: What?

[Starfield_Scribe]

That was priceless

[kiamay]

I agree! Ziva usually has the best lines! Gotta love her


Some S2 quotes ... no Ziva, but still nice!


Suspect: Why am I here?
Gibbs: Because killing people is illegal.

---

(When Tony and Kate first get into McGee's apartment)
Tony: Told you he was a boxers guy.
Kate: Yeah McGee. I thought for sure you were a tighty whitey Man

---

Abby: "Your hands my body now."
(Palmer massages Abby, Tony walks in)
Palmer: "It wasn’t like that."
Tony: "It never is. Now go, you little autopsy gremlin. Get out of here!"

---

Kate: "When I’m a mother, I’m never letting my kids out of my sight."
Tony: "Yeah, how do you plan on doing that? "
Kate: "G-P-S locater strapped to the ankle. Audio and video surveillance built into their clothes."
Tony: "No, I mean the part about becoming a mother."

---

Kate: "Most people tend to their personal hygiene at home."
Tony: "This bothers you?"
Kate: "No, what bothers me is that it doesn't bother me anymore."
Tony: "I'm an acquired taste."
McGee: "Actually, it's more like the Stockholm Syndrome. The emotional attachment to a captor formed by a hostage as a result of continuous stress and a need to cooperate for survival."

---

Kate: You were in the bathroom for 45 minutes!
Tony: You clocked me?
Kate: What could've made you take so long? (Catching herself, hand pointing to Tony) Don't answer that!
Tony: Well I was--
Kate: (covers ears with hands) Ohhhh, No! I don't wanna hear it!